More vampires for you to sink your teeth into coming in less than two weeks.

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Transcript Below

ALFIE: Recording for posterity, I guess.

At some point in the last few days, I don’t know when, I can’t remember because--

It doesn’t matter why. But I drank approximately 1 litre of vampire blood, with a view to. In an attempt to. Because I was trying to become a vampire.

I did this because-- because otherwise I was going to die. I didn’t make this change lightly, I wasn’t coerced, and I’m not dead, and I think-- I think it’s worked, but it’s like. It’s not as total a transformation as I was expecting. I’m… well. I’m definitely different. I feel like I could snap a tree. But also my entire body hurts and my throat feels like it’s on fire and it has since-- well. Since I ran out of the blood bags in the fridge. I even tried drinking some saline but--

ALFIE LAUGHS

Yeah that didn’t help, didn’t help!

There are no studies about this. No records of the change. I recorded what happened after I drank the blood, but I’ve not listened back to it yet. Maybe I should have had a video feed or something, but I… I don’t know.

I can feel the places I was injured before. It’s less pronounced, for sure, but I can still feel them. It’s like. I don’t know. It’s like it’s not happened all at once. I don’t know what I was expecting. It’s pretty dramatic but--

Mmmf.

It doesn’t feel total. It doesn’t feel complete. I don’t know how to articulate this.

I can smell every person in this apartment building and oh god.

It’s so odd because they don’t smell different than they would have before, you know, I can smell a small and it’s the smell of people. Obviously I couldn’t smell anyone through walls and ceilings before so there’s that but also like. They smell. Good. Appetising.

Saying they smell like food is missing something fundamental about how much like people they smell, they do not smell like a roast dinner or something they smell the same as they did before only now? Now I want to eat them.

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