Off the Wall: Trauma, Training, and Tangents

Season 2 is here! We are so excited to be back!

And we’re starting exactly how we mean to go on: with a real-time conversation that was never supposed to be an episode, until we realized way too many women would probably relate.

In this episode, we pick up where a WhatsApp voice note conversation left off.

Kristin had been dealing with frustrating symptoms, normal labs, and the mental suffocation that happens when your body feels off but nothing is giving you a clear answer. Add in the current wave of perimenopause fear-mongering online, and suddenly trying to “figure it out” is now the worst thing in life.

So we talk through what happens when symptom-tracking turns into symptom-amplifying, why normal labs don’t always make you feel better about things, and how the brain and nervous system can turn the volume up when you’re already stressed, scared, and hyper-focused.

This is not an episode about ignoring your body or pretending symptoms aren’t real. It’s about the middle part so many women are living in: advocating for yourself without going insane, asking better questions without panic-searching, and learning how to tell the difference between “I need more answers” and “I may be making this worse by trying to solve it harder.”

If your labs are fine but you don’t feel fine, this conversation is for you. We hope you love it!

RESOURCES:

• The Way Out by Alan Gordon
• Follow Vanessa on Instagram
• More RECON Behavior Method™ resources
• Check out Kristin’s books
• Visit Kristin at Legendary Mind and Body

This episode feels like a highlight reel of everything we’ve explored this season: identity shifts, boundaries, hormones, resentment, growth, and being human in the middle of all of it.

We’re closing out Season 1 by answering the questions you’ve been sending in that hit a little too close to home.

From mom rage to perfectionism to fear vs intuition, and so much more…we hope this episode makes you feel a little less alone.

Follow Vanessa on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vanessa_reconbehaviormethod/

For more RECON Behavior Method™ resources: https://linktr.ee/thereconbehaviormethod

Check out Kristin’s book, Caring About Crystal: https://amzn.to/4amvlpL

Visit Kristin at https://www.legendarymindandbody.com

In this episode of Off the Wall, we tackle one of the most loaded parenting topics out there: screens, phones, kids, and the pressure to “get it right.”

You’ll hear:

• What the research consistently shows about screens and sleep (and where adults misinterpret it)
• How fast-paced digital content interacts with attention, impulsivity, and executive function
• How attachment, not control, determines whether kids rebel or stay anchored to their parents
• Why explaining the why behind rules matters more than the rules themselves
• And more…

We also dig into real-life parenting decisions: GPS watches vs phones, shared accounts, blocked chats, and honest conversations about online safety…without judgment, fear-mongering, or pretending this stuff is easy.

This episode isn’t about banning screens or shaming parents. It’s about understanding how human brains work in a high-stimulation world, protecting connection over control, and making reality-based decisions that actually fit your family.

Book by Gabor Mate MD and Gordon Neufeld: Hold On to Your Kids - https://a.co/d/9ovhxAE

Follow Vanessa on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thereconbehaviormethod

For more RECON Behavior Method™ resources: https://linktr.ee/thereconbehaviormethod

Check out Kristin’s books: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0CJB1JQC5

Visit Kristin at https://www.legendarymindandbody.com

Research

1. Pickard, H. et al. (2024) — JAMA PediatricsToddler Screen Use Before Bed and Its Effect on Sleep. This randomized clinical trial tested the impact of removing screen time in the hour before bedtime for toddlers (16–30 months). Families who removed screens before bed saw modest improvements in sleep efficiency and reduced night awakenings. JAMA Network+1
2. UNICEF Australia  (2025) — Explainer on proposed social media bans for children and teens, including risks, protections, and unintended consequences. UNICEF Australia
3. Wallace, J. et al. (2023) — Scientific ReportsScreen time, impulsivity, neuropsychological functions and their relationship to growth in adolescent ADHD symptoms. This longitudinal study found that increases in screen time were associated with increases in ADHD symptoms over time, and that impulsivity was a key mediator in that relationship. PubMed
4. Sohn, S.Y. et al. (2021) — Frontiers in PsychiatryThe Association Between Smartphone Addiction and Sleep. This study found that smartphone addiction (not just hours of use) was significantly associated with poorer sleep quality, and stopping phone use earlier before sleep was linked with better outcomes. Frontiers
5. Zablotsky, B. et al. (2025) — CDC StudyAssociations Between Screen Time Use and Health Outcomes in Teens. The CDC examined teens with high screen time (4+ hours/day) and found associations with poorer physical activity, sleep, and mental health outcomes. CDC
6. Correa-Iriarte, S. et al. (2023) — Behavioral SciencesRelationship between Problematic Smartphone Use, Sleep Quality, and Bedtime Procrastination. This Spanish study linked higher problematic smartphone use and bedtime procrastination with poorer sleep quality. MDPI

Emerging / Not Yet Peer-Reviewed but Useful Studies

1. MR Analysis on Screen Time & ADHD (2024) — A Mendelian randomization study suggesting possible causal links between screen time and childhood ADHD symptoms, but further research is needed. ResearchGate
2. Recent JAMA Pediatrics Study on Screen Time & Mental Health / Brain Structure (2025) — Early reporting from researchers linking screen time with changes in white matter and associations with depression symptoms in childhood — great for the “brain / structural connectivity” angle. Pitt Psychiatry

Extra for Further Reading

1. A recent city pediatric study found 2 in 5 preschoolers had sleep problems linked to high screen use, especially in bed. The Times of India
2. Large survey research found screen time in bed linked with shorter sleep and higher insomnia odds (ages 18–28). Health

Probably one of the biggest struggles many people face within the realm of acceptance..boundaries!

Today we are talking about boundaries for “nice people”, the ones who say yes before their brain has any clue what just happened.

Kristin shares what it’s like being a recovering people-pleaser, Vanessa admits she used to live in full-time club bouncer mode, and together we walk through a simple Boundary Starter Pack that we created: buying yourself time, using a neutral no, checking in with your body, micro-boundaries, and silent boundaries.

You’ll hear real-time role playing, why boundaries feel so uncomfortable afterwards, and 5 ways to soothe the “boundary hangover”.

For more RECON Behavior Method™ resources: https://linktr.ee/thereconbehaviormethod

Follow Vanessa on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thereconbehaviormethod

Check out Kristin’s books: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0CJB1JQC5

In this episode, we discuss “holiday brain”...the very real shift that happens in December when routines loosen, discipline dips, and everything easily becomes a January problem.

We unpack why your brain hits conservation mode during the holidays, why the “I’ll start in January” plan is a trap, and why falling off isn’t the issue… STAYING off is.

We also share two simple reframes to help you stay connected to your habits without burning out, and how to support your future self instead of dumping everything on her :)

For more RECON Behavior Method™ resources: https://linktr.ee/thereconbehaviormethod

Follow Vanessa on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thereconbehaviormethod

Check out Kristin’s books: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0CJB1JQC5

Visit Kristin at https://www.legendarymindandbody.com

In this episode, we pick up right at the part no one warns you about…where you’re trying to unlearn decades of survival mode, and you’re in limbo between your past and your future.

We talk about how the brain rewires through what you pay attention to, why change feels painfully slow, and how something as small as ten seconds of calm can start shifting an entire nervous system. 

We also open up about our very different healing paths — Kristin’s journey through therapy, EMDR, hypnotherapy, ayahuasca, writing, and eventually handstands… and Vanessa’s path of not realizing anything was wrong until postpartum cracked open everything she thought she’d already survived.

For more RECON Behavior Method resources: https://linktr.ee/thereconbehaviormethod

RECON quiz: https://subscribepage.io/mPgb0E

Follow Vanessa on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thereconbehaviormethod

Check out Kristin’s books: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0CJB1JQC5

Visit Kristin at https://www.legendarymindandbody.com

What if the thing you THINK broke you… didn’t?

Kristin grew up in emotional landmines (chaos, fear, unpredictability), and her brain wired itself for danger before she even knew what danger was. 

Vanessa lived through her father’s murder and somehow wasn’t traumatized…until isolation years later rewired her for survival mode.

Vanessa’s story flips everything: her father was murdered when she was five… yet she did not feel traumatized.

Why?

In this episode, we break apart:

• how support changes the entire outcome of everything you experience
  
• why two kids never internalize similar experiences the same way
  
• and how your childhood coping strategies are still steering the wheel
  

You think you know trauma? Not after this episode.

Follow Vanessa on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thereconbehaviormethod

For more RECON Behavior Method™ resources: https://linktr.ee/thereconbehaviormethod

Check out Kristin’s books: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0CJB1JQC5

Visit Kristin at https://www.legendarymindandbody.com