One Degree Marriage: Christ-Centered Communication & Habits

Feeling more like roommates than teammates lately? Or maybe things are good, but you know there’s room to go deeper. In this replay of one of our most popular episodes (a rare solo one, since it’s just Xan this time), we walk through 7 practical habits that deeply connected couples actually practice. You don’t have to do all seven. Pick one or two to start this week and watch how those small, one-degree shifts add up.

These habits aren’t a checklist to crush. Our hope is that they encourage you to seek the Lord more deeply first, and then to seek deeper connection with your spouse.

Resources mentioned:

• Free Weekly Marriage Meeting Template: onedegreemarriage.com/meeting
• Weekly Marriage Meeting Journal: onedegreemarriage.com

If this episode encouraged you, share it with a couple who might need it, and subscribe so you never miss a one-degree shift.

Most husbands have heard that they are the head of the home. Far fewer have been told what kind of head they are supposed to be, and that gap is where a lot of quiet disconnection in a marriage starts.

This week we sit down with Ephesians 5 and read it slowly, starting back at verse 18 where the whole thing is anchored: be filled with the Spirit. From there we work through what Paul actually asks of husbands, and it is not enforcement. Paul never tells a husband to make sure his wife submits. He spends three verses on wives and nine on husbands, and every one of those nine points the same direction: sacrificial love, modeled on a Jesus who washed feet and went to the cross. We look at what headship is not, four specific things Ephesians 5 asks husbands to do, and what all of it looks like on an ordinary Tuesday when nobody is watching. We also get honest about our own house, including where each of us is most tempted to lead by control instead of by serving.

If you listened to last week's episode on what Ephesians 5 asks of wives, this is the other half of that conversation.

This week we're bringing back one of our most popular episodes ever. If you're new here, welcome! And if you heard it the first time around, we think it's worth a second listen.

What does it really mean for wives to "submit" to their husbands in Ephesians 5? Few verses about marriage cause more tension, confusion, or quiet eye rolls. Is submission blind obedience? Does it mean tolerating sin or abuse? Is it outdated or oppressive? Or is it something deeper, and actually freeing?

In this episode, we unpack what the Bible really says about being a godly wife, how submission and respect play out in real life, and why this passage makes no sense unless you read it alongside Christ's call for husbands to love sacrificially.

In this episode, we cover:

• What biblical submission is not
• Why Ephesians 5 has to be read alongside the call for husbands to love like Christ
• What submission looks like on an ordinary Tuesday
• How respect, encouragement, and trust play out practically
• Why submission is ultimately an act of worship to Christ

If you've wrestled with this passage, or avoided it altogether, this conversation will help you think biblically, clearly, and courageously about your role in marriage.

Scripture referenced: Ephesians 5:22-33, 1 Peter 3, Genesis 2

If this one helped, send it to a friend who has ever wrestled with this passage. Subscribe wherever you listen so you never miss an episode, and if you have a minute, leaving a review helps other couples find this Christian marriage podcast. Love you, fam.

The holidays are still months away on the calendar and already somebody is asking whose house you are coming to. If that question makes your stomach tighten, you are not the only couple feeling it.

This week we are talking about what it actually looks like to set healthy boundaries with in-laws and extended family without blowing up the relationship. We walk through what Genesis 2:24 means by leave and cleave, why leaving your father and mother never cancels the command to honor them, and two of the healthiest in-law relationships in scripture. Then we get practical with five principles for navigating parents, in-laws, aunts, uncles, and everybody else who has an opinion about your marriage. We also talk honestly about the harder situations: what honoring looks like when there is addiction or abuse in the family, how to explain a limited relationship to your kids without tearing anyone down, and how to hold the holidays gently when grief is sitting at the table.

Resources mentioned:

• Genesis 2:24 and Jesus quoting it in Matthew 19
• The command to honor your father and mother, Exodus 20:12
• Ruth 1:16
• Exodus 18, Jethro's counsel to Moses
• Our episode from two weeks ago on why your marriage was never meant to be private
• Free Weekly Marriage Meeting Template: https://onedegreemarriage.com/meeting

Here is your one degree shift: before the end of this month, sit down together and decide your Thanksgiving and Christmas plans out loud. Ask each other which tradition you would actually grieve losing and which one you would not mind letting go. Then tell both families what you decided, together. If this is the Christian marriage podcast conversation you have been avoiding, start with that fifteen minute talk. Share this episode with one couple heading into a tense holiday season, subscribe so you do not miss next week, and if it helped, leave us a review so other couples can find it.

Most of us never sat down and decided what our family is actually about. We just started living, and somewhere along the way the answer got decided for us by our upbringing, our friend group, or whatever we scrolled past last night.

This week we open up our own family mission statement, the six core values underneath it, and the weekly rhythm that keeps them from becoming a pretty sign we never look at. We walk through why we landed on pursue faithfulness, play the long game, and live with open hands, the one line we changed after seven years, and how we score our values one to five in our weekly marriage meeting so we know what to focus on next. If you have never written a family mission statement, or you wrote one at a retreat and have not touched it since, this one is for you.

In this episode:

• 00:28 The book that pushed us to run our family with the same intention we give our work
• 02:20 What a family mission statement actually is, and the test that keeps it from being cheesy
• 04:15 Our three line mission statement, read out loud and explained
• 05:39 Why we aim for faithful instead of fruitful, famous, or efficient
• 09:58 Playing the long game in parenting, money, fitness, and schooling decisions
• 13:37 The one line we changed, and why reserving the right to change your mind is healthy
• 15:29 Radical generosity when the budget says wait, and what the two copper coins teach us
• 19:41 The one to five scoring system we use every week (and what a 1 actually looks like)
• 22:13 The six values we live by, and why one of us fought hard for the last one
• 24:39 How Friday Night Gang started because we stopped waiting for a bigger house
• 28:47 A step by step way to write yours this week, even after the kids go to bed
• 31:59 If you do not choose your family values, something else will choose them for you

Resources mentioned:

• The 3 Big Questions for a Frantic Family by Patrick Lencioni
• 1 Corinthians 4:2, Luke 16:10, Galatians 6:9, and the widow's two copper coins in Mark 12:41-44
• Free Weekly Marriage Meeting Template: https://onedegreemarriage.com/meeting
• Weekly Marriage Meeting Journal: https://shop.onedegreemarriage.com/

Your one degree shift this week: sit down together, no date night required, and write a rough first draft of your family mission statement and five to seven core values. Let it sit for a couple of weeks before you lock it in. If you already have one, put it in your weekly marriage meeting and start scoring it.

If this one helped, send it to one couple who is in a full, loud season and would love a little more intention in it. Subscribe wherever you listen so you never miss an episode of the podcast, and if you have a minute, leaving a review helps other couples find this Christian marriage podcast. Love you, fam.

You can name the friend you would call if you needed to unload about your spouse. Now name the friend who would hear you out and then gently tell you the part you got wrong. Most of us have the first one. Almost none of us have the second.

This week we talk about why your marriage was never meant to be lived privately. You made your vows in front of witnesses for a reason, and somewhere between the reception and real life, most of us quietly decided that our marriage was nobody else's business. We get into the difference between venting and inviting, which is not about what you say so much as what you are actually after. We walk through the three kinds of people worth letting in, the kinds who will do more harm than good, and the exact question that opens the door when you do not have anyone like that yet. We also tell on ourselves a little, because the wise couple twenty years ahead of us is the one thing we are still missing too.

In this episode:

00:59 Why the witnesses at your wedding were supposed to be more than an audience

02:48 Highlight reels, and what we found when we got close to the "perfect" marriages

04:14 The two extremes couples swing between, and the middle ground nobody names

05:10 How to tell venting from inviting, by what you walk away feeling

07:07 The one word swap that changes the whole conversation

08:25 The recorded conversation test, a gut check you can run in four seconds

11:33 The three kinds of people worth inviting into your marriage

13:24 Why the couple ahead of you genuinely cannot remember what your season felt like

15:46 The question to ask a trusted friend that opens the door permanently

19:18 Who not to invite in, including the friend you enjoy the most

22:16 The honest part: the mentor couple we still do not have

25:58 This week's one degree shift

Here is the one degree shift: sit down together this week and answer two questions out loud. Who is in our marriage right now? And who should be? Then send one text to the couple whose name you both said.

If this one named something for you, share it with one couple who needs it, subscribe so you catch next week, and leave a review. It helps other couples find this Christian marriage podcast.

You emptied the dehumidifier again this morning. You noticed the fridge was bare, rerouted the drive home, and still had dinner on the table by six. Nobody said a word.

In episode 172, we're talking about the invisible work of marriage: the mental load, the quiet planning, the tasks your spouse handles that no one sees, including you. This is not a conversation about who does more. It's about learning to see your spouse clearly, and letting that turn into real gratitude and real action. We walk through the 10-minute exercise we recommend to every couple, why comparison ruins it, and how to name your own unseen load without putting your spouse on the defensive.

If this one met you where you are, share it with one couple who needs it and leave us a review.

Somewhere along the way, marriage advice got very good at one question: is this working for me? Scripture asks a different one. If your marriage belongs to God before it belongs to either of you, almost everything downstream changes, including the things nobody talks about out loud.

In this episode we walk through ten ways a Christian marriage should actually look different from the one culture is selling, and we try to be honest about the places it gets uncomfortable. We start with the foundation, that our marriage was never really about us, and then get very practical: why divorce is not in our vocabulary, implicitly or explicitly. Why hedging your bets with separate accounts and a prenup quietly puts an exit on the table. Why we have full access to each other's phones and keep no secrets, even the twenty dollar ones. What it looks like to focus on your own God given role instead of auditing your spouse's. Why your marriage comes before your kids, and why that is a gift to them. How sex stops being a weapon, a reward, or a chore. And why we fight to reconcile instead of fighting to win. This one is a framework episode, so bring a notepad and let one of the ten do its work on you.

In this episode:

• 01:45 Number 1: our marriage was never really about us
• 04:05 Number 2: divorce is not in our vocabulary, spoken or unspoken
• 05:30 Don't let a temporary season lead to a permanent decision
• 06:45 Hedging your bets, and what "trusting the Lord will provide" costs
• 10:50 Number 3: your marriage comes before your kids
• 12:35 Number 4: living out your God given roles, starting with your own
• 16:00 The word ezer, and why "helper" never meant lesser
• 17:30 Number 5: shared finances, no prenup, no plan B
• 19:55 Number 6: full access to each other's phones
• 22:05 Number 7: we don't keep secrets, including the small ones
• 26:30 Why this only works when the standard goes both ways
• 30:05 Number 8: we invite people into our marriage
• 32:20 Number 9: sex is not a weapon, a reward, or a chore
• 34:45 Number 10: we fight to reconcile, not to win
• 36:00 This week's one degree shift

Pick the one of these ten that made you shift in your seat, and do something about it this week. If this episode named something for you, share it with one couple who needs it, subscribe so you don't miss next week, and leave a review. It helps other couples find this Christian marriage podcast.

It's 9:30 at night. The kids are finally down, the dishes are still out, and this is the first time you have been alone together all day. Nobody is bringing their best self to that moment. So what does it actually look like to prioritize your spouse in a season when you cannot give them the most of your time?

In this episode, we start with the why. Scripture describes marriage as the most important earthly relationship you have, and we walk through why that framing changes how you spend the little margin you have. Then we get practical about the season most of you are in: full careers, young kids, tired bodies. We talk about why your calendar will never rank your priorities correctly, why twenty connected minutes beat three distracted hours, and what happens when you stop competing over who is more exhausted. We also work through an honest question one of us asked out loud: wouldn't it be more efficient for each of us to just look out for ourselves? The answer takes us somewhere we did not expect.

In this episode:

• 00:40 Why Scripture puts your spouse above every other earthly relationship
• 02:10 What the story of Job hints at about two becoming one
• 04:26 The reverence for marriage we have quietly lost, even inside the church
• 06:20 The greatest gift you can give your kids, and it is not more of you
• 09:00 Why your calendar will never rank your priorities correctly
• 11:01 Twenty connected minutes vs. three distracted hours
• 15:31 The Savannah Bananas, 100,000 phone calls, and what "spouse first" looks like
• 20:18 The weekly marriage meeting that changed our rhythm
• 22:34 The tiredness competition, and a real Friday night we got it right
• 29:25 Why the Holy Spirit, not willpower, is what makes this possible
• 31:50 This week's one degree shift

Resources mentioned: Genesis 2:24, Job 1, John 15:13, Ephesians 5:25, the elder qualifications in 1 Timothy 3, Jesse Cole and the Savannah Bananas, and our Free Weekly Marriage Meeting Template, the exact rhythm we describe in this episode.

If this one named your season, share it with one couple who is in the thick of it, subscribe so you don't miss next week, and leave a review. It helps other couples find this Christian marriage podcast.

Most weeks, your marriage gets whatever energy is left after everything else. What if this week looked a little different?

We're walking through seven daily marriage challenges, one for every day of the week, pulled straight from what's live in the One Degree Marriage app. You don't have to start on a Monday. Pick any day, go seven days, and see what shifts. Along the way, we share why we started One Degree in the first place, what the "one degree" philosophy actually means for your marriage, and why we're convinced that small, consistent investments are what lead to a completely different destination years down the road.

In this episode:

• The ship analogy: why a one-degree course correction, over enough distance, leads you somewhere entirely different than where you were headed
• Tuesday's challenge: how surprising your spouse with a small treat pushes back against the slow drift of taking each other for granted
• Wednesday's challenge: reading a psalm together and talking about what stands out, even if it's just one line (and why even solid Christian couples rarely do this)
• Thursday's challenge: texting your spouse something you love about them mid-day, not just logistics
• Friday's challenge: invite someone over even if your house is not set up for it
• Saturday's challenge: ask your spouse their five-year dreams and what opens up when you let yourself think past the day-to-day grind
• Sunday's challenge: the weekly marriage meeting and why, seven years in, it is still one of the most transformative habits in our marriage

Resources:

• Download the One Degree Marriage App (free): https://apps.apple.com/us/app/one-degree-marriage/id6776013794
• Free Weekly Marriage Meeting Template: https://onedegreemarriage.com/meeting
• Weekly Marriage Meeting Journal: https://shop.onedegreemarriage.com/

If this episode stirred something good this week, share it with one couple who needs the nudge. Subscribe wherever you listen so you never miss a one-degree shift, and leave us a review; it helps more couples find us.