ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show

"Honor the space between no longer and not yet." —Nancy Levin When you are married, transitions don’t only affect you, they also affect your spouse. Transitions can impact the different intimacies in your marriage. Marriage is full of transitions: First house First baby Moves Job changes Job losses Taking care of kids Taking care of your parents One income Two incomes Kids becoming adults And the list goes on You can seemingly be going along thinking... "Ah, life is good, we’ve got everything figured out", then BAM transition comes. Or, you’re planning for a natural transition, kids growing up, buying a house, moving and yet, no matter how much you plan for it, there are still situations in that transition that catch you off guard. Everyone handles transitions differently. Some people jump right in, put their blinders on and power through whatever that change is. Some people can become paralyzed with all of the decisions that have to be made, they can feel helpless in those seasons, not knowing which way is the right way to go and so they withdraw from doing anything. For some, transitions feel very uncertain, and there is a high level of fear. For others, the transitions may be unwelcome or unplanned and there is a high level of anger or sadness. All of these reactions will impact you and your spouse. In this week’s show Tony and Alisa talk about how you can navigate life, work and other transitions you will face together as a team. EPISODE SPONSOR | HelloFresh HelloFresh is the meal kit delivery service that makes cooking fun, easy, and convenient! Each week HelloFresh creates new delicious recipes with step-by-step instructions designed to take around 30 minutes. For novices to seasoned home-cooks who are short on time HelloFresh sources the freshest ingredients, measured to the exact quantities needed so there’s no food waste.  Take $30 off your first week of deliveries when you enter promo code OEM30. Other Resources: 140 - Scheduling Sex Strategic Coaching Session with Alisa Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663

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"Never stop showing someone how much they mean to you." Over time you have lost the anticipation and excitement of your relationship. Your marriage has become something you have to tolerate, something you have to survive or make it through. For some it's like the song from the Righteous Brother’s “You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling”. You may have lost that loving feeling and you're wondering on what to do next. Do you remember when the two of you were courting one another? There was anticipation and excitement when you would spend time together. During your courtship both of you invested in the relationship by getting to know one another, spending time together and being intentional about your time together. You prepared and thought about the other’s needs. You planned for dates, conversations, and everything else. It wasn’t just “anything goes” rather it was a season of “let me put my best foot forward. After the honeymoon and many years together your lives fall into routines. You have a comfort level with one another and if you are really truthful with yourselves you've become lazy in your marriage. Time together has not been important, you don’t do the little things anymore, you've stopped having conversations that meant so much when you were courting one another. You're beginning to hear these phrases more and more: This is too much work. You’re too needy. Why won’t you spend time with me? It's time to get those loving feelings back by courting your spouse like you did when you first meet. In this week’s show Tony and Alisa talk about how you can have those loving feelings of affection and connection with your spouse once again. EPISODE SPONSOR | StoryWorth StoryWorth is an amazing way to preserve memories and to learn about your spouse, mom, dad or any relative or friend with their responses. Each week StoryWorth will send your loved one an email with a question to be answered (you can either choose from the questions provided or come up with your own). At the end of the year, the stories will be printed into a hardcover book. Don’t miss out on this opportunity to capture life’s most treasured moments. Grab your subscription to StoryWorth today! Other Resources: 3 Marriage Tips From A Pageant Coach Strategic Coaching Session with Alisa Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663

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"Never be afraid to try something new BECAUSE life gets boring when you stay within the limits of what you already know." The first sex challenge we completed happened 9 years ago in the fall of 2008. We had been married 11 years and these years were not the best years. Two kids ages 2 and 5 years old had taken up much of our times We lived as roommates with little to no intimacy. It was at this time that we decided to take on the 60 Days of Sex Challenge. A bit crazy... Yes. Worth it... Absolutely. We had no idea at the time what would happen in our life when one question was asked and the one answer was given. The same thing is true in your marriage. There are so many pivot points in a relationship. So many times when you could go left or right, working with each other or working against each other. We made one decision, 9 years ago, to make sex a priority in our marriage, to go from living like roommates to living like lovers, to being open about our sexual needs and to being transparent in the bedroom, and out of it Your marriage can experience the same. In this week’s show Tony and Alisa talk about what can happen in your marriage when the two of you take on a sex challenge. EPISODE SPONSOR | CanvasPeople.com CanvasPeople.com has a very easy to use Photo-to-Canvas service that takes your favorite photo memories and turns them into beautiful artwork for you to enjoy every day.  Instead of snapping that beautiful photo and letting it rot on your cell phone – you can bring that photo to life on your walls at home, in your office, or to give as a great gift. Limited Time Offer: Order an 11x14 canvas for FREE. All you pay for is shipping. Use Promo Code: marriage at checkout. Grab your FREE canvas today! Other Resources: Intimacy Ignited 7 Days of Sex Challenge 19 Questions to Amazing Sex Strategic Coaching Session with Alisa Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663

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"She's not nagging. She's trying to tell you something. The only reason she's being persistent is because she cares. When she stops nagging, you should be worried because at that point she no longer cares." Nagging usually doesn’t start out as a problem in marriage. As time goes on though you begin to share things with your spouse that are bothering you. You don't see any change in behavior so you repeat yourself, over and over again. Then you get demanding. Sometimes you get mean and angry. Other times you get loud because you want to make sure they hear you. And still no results. You continue to nag and to you it seems that your spouse just ignores your requests. Why? Because nagging isn’t solving your communication problems. In fact it could be making  your communication worse. When nagging is present in your marriage, it’s time for both of you to evaluate what’s going on. If you are repeatedly nagging your spouse you need to ask yourself... Why aren’t your requests being heard or acted upon? Are you treating your spouse like a partner or like a child? Do they hear encouragement from you or is it only criticism? If you are continuously feeling nagged you need to ask yourself... What is my spouse trying to tell me and what action(s) do I need to take? What is my spouse pointing out that I don’t want to change or acknowledge? Nagging is a symptom that there is disconnect in your marriage and when nagging is present it’s time to take action. Nagging over time is incredibly destructive as it literally chips away at the foundation of your marriage, one comment at a time. In this week’s show Tony and Alisa talk about the impact of nagging on your marriage and the strategies you can use to stop this style of communication. EPISODE SPONSOR | CanvasPeople.com CanvasPeople.com has a very easy to use Photo-to-Canvas service that takes your favorite photo memories and turns them into beautiful artwork for you to enjoy every day.  Instead of snapping that beautiful photo and letting it rot on your cell phone – you can bring that photo to life on your walls at home, in your office, or to give as a great gift. Limited Time Offer: Order an 11x14 canvas for FREE. All you pay for is shipping. Use Promo Code: marriage at checkout. Grab your FREE canvas today! Other Resources: 295: The No Rejection Zone 334: The Emasculated Man 335: She’s Not Your Mother Feelings List Strategic Coaching Session with Alisa Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663

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"Success isn’t a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire." —Arnold Glasgow For the most part your day-to-day activities are ruled by your calendars, by schedules, and by alerts popping up on your phone. It doesn’t matter how you stay organized, the fact is that you have ways to keep your time organized and keep you moving to the next thing. And then... It comes to your sex life. You desire spontaneity and yet your life is ruled by schedules. Or you are waiting for the perfect moment, the perfect energy level, the perfect number of chores, obligations and to-dos to be done. Waiting for all of these things to line up will cause you to miss out on opportunities to connect with your spouse. Instead begin to look for those opportunities to be spontaneous within the structure of your marriage. You desire a quick encounter and be a spontaneous lover but then you are not on the same wavelength with your spouse. There is a yearning to have sex outside of your bedroom and yet you don’t always know how to make that happen so it doesn't. Many of us often fight against structure or planning because we feel like it’s going to take away from our freedom. In actuality the opposite is true. Why? Because if you know the framework, the starting line, then anything is possible. For example, many of you have heard us talk about The Intimacy Lifestyle. We have structure only in the way that the days of the week have been split up. That’s our starting line. The creativity comes in when we choose our own ways to initiate. So let the fun begin as you become a spontaneous lover. In this week’s show Tony and Alisa talk about how you can have fun and excitement in your bedroom by being a spontaneous lover. EPISODE SPONSOR | Called to Love: Experiencing Your Best Marriage Through the Words of Jesus Marriage doesn't have to be so complicated. There is a manual on how to do this thing called "happily ever after."  In Called to Love you will be equipped to look at your spouse the way that Jesus does, take time to pray for your marriage instead of throwing up your hands and saying, "Heaven help me" and transform your relationship into what God intended for your marriage when the two of you became one. Grab your copy of Called to Love and the audio book bonus today. Other Resources: 21 Ways to Initiate Sex With Your Spouse 001: 60 Days of Sex Jinshi Bamboo Boxer Briefs Strategic Coaching Session with Alisa Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663

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"Being vulnerable is not a sign of weakness rather it is a sign of strength. It takes courage to let others into your world." —Anonymous As a couple you may be stuck. You may be stuck in the same routines. Maybe you're stuck in the same fights. Or you've noticed that your marriage is stuck in the same cycles. It’s as if every day is groundhog day. You wake up and the same day is repeated over and over again. This repetition in your marriage leads to feelings of boredom, discontentment and a lack of interest. Recently you’ve been asking yourself, "Is this is as good as it gets?" Well... If you are not willing to make a change it might be time. With a few tweaks you'd be amazed what could happen in your marriage. Here's the thing, to get something different you have to do something different. What are you willing to do in your marriage to experience a shift like never before? Where can you begin to change the environment in your marriage? How will stepping into a new habit impact what you do with your spouse? To get to extraordinary you need to stop waiting for your spouse to grow or change first and take the lead. In this week’s show Tony and Alisa talk about the importance of taking action to create change in your marriage. EPISODE SPONSOR | Called to Love: Experiencing Your Best Marriage Through the Words of Jesus Marriage doesn't have to be so complicated. There is a manual on how to do this thing called "happily ever after."  In Called to Love you will be equipped to look at your spouse the way that Jesus does, take time to pray for your marriage instead of throwing up your hands and saying, "Heaven help me" and transform your relationship into what God intended for your marriage when the two of you became one. Grab your copy of Called to Love and the audio book bonus today. Other Resources: The Intimacy Wheel 15 Ways to Romance Your Spouse Over the Next 30 Days Strategic Coaching Session with Alisa Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663

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"Men who trust other men will make fewer mistakes than he who distrusts them." —Camillo de Cavour When you think about your friendships as a kid and as an adult a few things stand out and the research is supporting this. During childhood both boys and girls have friends and often make deep friendships. From roughhousing on the playground to building with Legos, from competing on the sports field to running to winning the debate, there is a connection that boys have that as children often looks similar to girls. And then somewhere in those middle teenage years research says that the friendships boys have start to change. They don’t necessarily have that emotional connection, it’s not a place to be vulnerable and yet men need this as much as women. Think about the friends that each of you have. Maybe your friends are couple friends. You both share and hang out together on the weekends. Or the friends that you hang with are the husbands of your wives friends or the dads of your kids friends. Men need their own friends. Wives you can’t be everything for your husband. It’s not healthy for either of you. Husbands you need to hang out with men. Without deep, vulnerable friendships men live in a facade. They keep up the image at work, at home, everywhere and become more and more isolated. Truth is that men have the same emotional needs that women do, granted it looks different. Wives, you need to be encouraging your husband to grow strong, positive friendships with men who will encourage him to be a strong man and husband. Guys you need mentors and peers who will elevate who you are, who will provide you with that sounding board and understanding. In this week’s show Tony and Alisa talk about why you as a man and husband need friends that will encourage, lift you up and support you through all seasons of life. EPISODE SPONSOR | Called to Love: Experiencing Your Best Marriage Through the Words of Jesus Transform your relationship into what God intended for your marriage when the two of you became one. Mark your calendars for April 4th because you’re not going to want to miss the release of Alisa's upcoming book, Called to Love. ONE Family sign up now as you will be receiving an extra special opportunity during the launch of the book. The finishing touches are happening to help you experience your best marriage. Get signed up today! Other Resources: Emerge Conference Maximized Manhood Strategic Coaching Session with Alisa Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663

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"We don’t grow when things are easy, we grow when we face challenges." —Anonymous You want to last longer and yet most of the time you ejaculate quicker than you'd like. When you orgasm within 1-3 minutes of penetration this is general considered premature ejaculation. 20-30% of men (and their partners) are impacted by what is considered the most common type of male sexual dysfunction. Here’s the thing... you are not alone. 60% of US men feel that this is embarrassing which equate to roughly 77 million men who are feeling challenged in this area of sexual intimacy. 37% of women say that they are disappointed with their partner finishes before they do. Due to media messages of what’s normal 40% of men are feeling self conscious about their performance. That’s a lot of stress around one of the most intimate areas of your relationship. All of that stress is not making things any easier for either of you as the impact on marriage can be devastating. In many marriages the husband feels less than or inadequate. The wife is frustrated that there is so much focus on lasting longer and not so much focus on growing the relationship. He doesn’t know what to say. She doesn’t know what to say. Over time having sex become awkward and the two of you feel more disconnected. Without conversation around the topic it can truly become a wait and see place of nothingness in your marriage. Which often leads to nothing in the bedroom, also known as a sexless marriage. It doesn’t have to be like this. You don’t have to stop talking when things aren’t going well. You also don’t have to feel helpless, like there’s nothing that you can do. In this week’s show Tony and Alisa talk about what both you and your spouse can do in the moment to help you last longer in bed. EPISODE SPONSOR | Called to Love: Experiencing Your Best Marriage Through the Words of Jesus Transform your relationship into what God intended for your marriage when the two of you became one. Mark your calendars for April 4th because you’re not going to want to miss the release of Alisa's upcoming book, Called to Love. ONE Family sign up now as you will be receiving an extra special opportunity during the launch of the book. The finishing touches are happening to help you experience your best marriage. Get signed up today! Other Resources: Essential Oil Diffuser Promescent Prolonging Delay Spray Strategic Coaching Session with Alisa Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663

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