This week Keri, Peter and Matthew are all sorted for cheese and jizz. It's not like it sounds, honest. Pack a whistle and a puffer jacket, we're going raving. 

The four we can do you for a tenner are:

• Steph stops smashing the back off the pinata and swings for Ben instead. 

• Girlfriend in a Korma? Roy curries favour and Kirsty gets Carrie-d away with Adil.

• Alice and Chris. A hugely unbelievable fountain of sh1t3. 

• Russ drops into a higher state of consciousness. You've got an ace one there Lily! 

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