Opposite Attractions: A Theme Park Design Show

This week in the penultimate episode of season five, Jim gives the merchandise of Star Wars Galaxy's Edge a piece of his mind, Scottye does lots of confusing math, and then both hosts give the Mysterious Kingdom it's own royal castle weenie! First up, Scottye takes guests into The Home Of The Mad King, a walkthrough full of clues on the history of the kingdom's former (?) ruler to potentially earn a chance to recieve (steal?) your very own royal crown. Then, Jim enters a vast garden maze to find a Castle Escape of one sort, only to be captured by an evil wizard and forced to find an entirely different escape (one that maybe involves some sort of rolling and/or coasting).

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On this week's show, we discuss Disney Parks recent bans of smoking, vaping, cotton farming, strollers with engines, kiddie wagons, Shakespeare In The Park productions, underpriced merchandise, and any ice that isn't made by Elsa who they have trapped in a refrigeration unit somewhere in the depths of Tom Sawyer Island. Then, things get...kind of random. First up, Jim finds himself on a Quest For Passage as guests must train for the difficult realities of (illegal) wagon travel outside the Mysterious Kingdom. Sure, it's a screen-based attraction, but it'll probably also readjust your spine. Best of both worlds! Then, Scottye hands guests the opportunity to experience The D20, the most random (and copyright infringing) of theme park attractions! Aliens want to share with you attractions from other worlds, be they fast and/or furious, or maybe just a small world with dragons. Roll your fate!

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This week, it's that one day a year where you just might think what Disney and Universal pitch is a joke (but it isn't!), but in the Mysterious Kingdom, we don't have time for such shenanigans because there's a Kraken on the loose! First up, Scottye invites everyone on a Quest For Booty featuring pirates, caves, goggles, and a certain sort of locker - not to mention that there feisty Kraken. Then, Jim scoops up the children for a fun time in his new play area Carla Kraken's Kidzone (please for the love of god she spells it with a C), a youth-friendly menagerie of kiddie rides, caves to explore, and Carla's naughty son Craig hiding below the depths, daring to spray any and all passerbys with jets of water.

Also, Disney now owns Fox, so please make sure to stop by The Revanant Food Court before exiting. It's award-winning!

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This week, Scottye grows litigious and then disappointed at the new Nickelodeon animated film Wonder Park, then your fine hosts try their best to design fantastical escape room attractions for the Mysterious Kingdom. First up, Jim looks for inspiration in the horror film Cube, as he tasks his guests to test the dungeon designs of a crazy orc in _Echo Security _, where every room is the same, but not quite. Then, Scottye sends guests on The Search For The Power Glove by way of a zany (and power hungry) gooblin. If you think that's spelled wrong, then you haven't listened to the episode yet.

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This week, Scottye regales us with the splendor and the horror of his recent central Florida theme park vacation, then both try thier hands at creating attractions based off the mythical Hydra. First up, Scottye follows the "technically possible" show tag down a strange path as he invites sixty four guests at a time to become a part of the Hydra itself on a megacoaster inside The Hydra's Cave. Hold on to your necks for that one. Then, Jim puts his neck on the line as he pitches the tale of Mystical Martin and Mechanical Maddox, two estranged brothers with different ideas on how to explore the underwater caves near their home. Guests can join Martin's Magical Caravan or Maddox's Super Submersible and embark on their tours, ending with a (not at all surprising given the theme of this episode) confrontation with the Hydra among the rocks. Also, hydrangeas. Aren't they swell?

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This week, after some news about Galaxy's Edge, your good boys set about on the challenge to create some exciting dinner theatre for the guests of the Mysterious Kingdom. First up, Jim invites patrons into The Sqauwk Show, a late night type of talk show featuring a barely functioning wizard, a talking bird, and a range of zany guests. Then, Scottye tasks hungry folks to not only find the entrance to his show, but also not succumb to the sweet persausions of The Society Of The Enlightened Beings. If Disney's Animal Kingdom isn't a zoo, then boy howdy these folks are absolutely not a cult.

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This week, we begin with a quick discussioin about some of Epcot's upcoming changes and then segue into how we would design the entrance to our Mysterious Kingdom to better help our guests with character creation in a way that probably will help them be separated from most, if not all, of their money. There are shops featuring all sorts of various wares, a high-fallutin' training center, and even a redemption zone, which is more commercial than it sounds.

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This week, after a rousing double dip of PassFast (our show within a show), we send guests on a quest for delicious, wonderful POINTS. First up, Jim invites his guests to tackle the Colosseum Champion's Quest through the use of cheap carnival games and the wonders of virtual reality. Maybe you'll even get a shout-out at the Mysterious Kingdom's daily Colosseum Action Stunt Fight Spectacular Showcase Show! Meanwhile, Scottye has stumbled upon a castle. But not just any castle. No, it is the castle of the former King of the Mysterious Kingdom! Do you have what it takes to battle the spector of the king and his fiercesome golden dragon at the peak of our very own Boss Rush? Roll for initiative and find out!! (Insert maniacal laughter here)

Also, Jim wrote a YA novel and you should check it out via the link in these very show notes. He'd appreciate it.

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Links:

• Maxx Force - Six Flags Great America (Youtube)

This week, your hosts begin by taking an online journey through the many "wonders" of Gatlinburg, TN with a combined Yelp review score of 3.2! Then, with knockoffs and imitations behind them, they set off to create a ride system that has never before been seen! First up, Scottye attaches guests to a harness on the end of a stick to allow them to battle in Verngar's School Of Magic, where they may earn badges to become the Ultimate Wizard and impress someone named Chuck. Meanwhile, Jim decides that what guests really want to do is to rescue slaves using the power of the hanging rollercoaster as they find themselves forcefully strapped into The Temple Mine Escape. As both of these attractions have some basis in the real world, they finish the show gawking at videos of similar but not too similar versions of their attractions (which is fantastic for an audio-only show, so go check us out on Twitch.tv!)

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This week, after Jim learns the horrible, horrible truth of Universal Studios very own Guy Diamond, your hosts set out to bring dragons to the Mysterious Kingdom, mainly through the use of virtual reality. First up, Jim invites his guests to become their very own dragon jockeys as they search for lost souls in an old dwarven steampunk morass known as The Dragon Factory. Then, join Scottye on his quests to tame some dragons and take them on their very first flights on The Road To Draconia, where after your flight you can purchase your very own dragon puppet that is in no way copyright infringement at the princely sum known as 'lots and lots of dollars'. It wouldn't be a theme park if it was free, let's be honest.

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