Can you talk about the quote from St. Augustine: "You have made us for yourself oh Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in you"? I can't get it out of my head that pictures from pornography that my husband has looked at can arouse him more than I can. Why does lust feel so much more powerful than the desire to be in communion and make the gift of self? My 3-year-old is in a habit of self-stimulation – what should we say or do, in your opinion? Could you describe the role of "main intercessor" that you mentioned in a podcast?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

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Q1: Hello Christopher and Wendy, thank you so much for all the work that you two do with TOB and this podcast. It has brought me closer to God, just listening to you two talk about all these topics! I'm going to start reading TOB for Beginners this week, and I am pretty excited! In one of your podcasts Christopher had a quote from St. Augustine I believe, "You have made us for yourself oh Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in you." That is a super awesome quote and made my heart happy! Where does that quote come from, so I can maybe look more into St. Augustine and his writings?

Q2: I have been hurt by pornography recently. Sometimes, when my husband and I want to be intimate, but are very tired, it is harder for him to get ready. I really understand all the physical factors that cause this, including age, and I respect it totally, but I can't get out of my head the thought that pictures from pornography that he looked at would be able to arouse him and I, despite my efforts, have great difficulty arousing him. I would like to heal this issue in my heart that leads to this hurtful certitude. Lust feels so much more powerful than the desire to be in communion and make the gift of self.

Q3: My 3-year-old is in a habit of self-stimulation. I understand this is not necessarily a moral issue at his age, but I did the same in childhood and have had to work through some negative effects because no one helped walk me through it when I was young. Then, when I was older, I was told that masturbation is completely normal, even expected. His pediatrician has told me to just tell him to do it in private. I want to know how to protect him, how to talk with him in an age-appropriate way about his body, and how to set him up for a beautiful understanding of the fullness of God's creation later on in life. My husband and I typically just gently redirect him by saying, "Your body is good! You need to respect your body." What should we say/do in your opinion?

Q4: Could you describe the role of "main intercessor" that you mentioned in a podcast? What does it mean and how to be a the main intercessor for our spouse?

Any help would be super great! I will keep you two in my prayers. Stay healthy and God bless!

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Resources mentioned this week:

Register for The Way of Beauty with Bill Donaghy, January 3 - 8, 2021

Register for Theology of the Body I: Head and Heart Immersion (Florida), February 7-12, 2021

Beyond the Birds and the Bees: Raising Sexually Whole and Holy Kids

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Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.