Out of My Mind in Costa Rica-Living with CPTSD

Episode 27

CPTSD and COVID -19 Part II

Buckle Your Seatbelt

May 24, 2021

I’ve been sick for the better part of the last 10 days and today I am telling you all the nitty-gritty details. What was I sick with? It turned out to be COVID-19. It has been a hell of a week and I am grateful to be feeling 10,000% better today.

Besides being sick, I was given permission to read a letter from a new listener and I am introducing a new Sponsor; Out of My Mind Art at www.outofmymindart.com Out of My Mind Art is known for it’s Magic Wands and Twisted Wire Novelties. Check them out. 100% of the proceeds go to the support of the arts.

Here are some websites that help give more focus to today’s topic.

Melanie Greenberg Ph.D. published an article in Psychology today which looks at Post-Traumatic Growth. What on earth is that?

Post-Traumatic Growth During a Pandemic: Is That a Thing? | Psychology Today

I stumbled upon an article by Stephanie Foo. I didn’t know about her before I read her article, but I know about her now. I heartily share her perspective as a person with C-PTSD who is also leaning into the wind in these COVID times.

Stephanie Foo is a writer and a journalist working on a book on what it’s like to recover from complex PTSD. She has worked as a producer at This American Life and Snap Judgment, and her stories have aired on shows like Reply All, Radiolab, and 99% Invisible. She is also a 2019-2020 Rosalynn Carter Mental Health Fellow.

Coronavirus mental health: Why having PTSD feels like a superpower right now for some - Vox

Huffington Post has a really interesting article which could help you to discover if the pandemic has traumatized you. Gets you to look at a lot of key factors of PTSD.

7 Red Flags You're Experiencing Trauma From The COVID-19 Pandemic | HuffPost Life

Medical News Today has a detailed article on the impact of what they are calling: COVID-19 anxiety syndrome. This is a very reliable source for sound medical information.

What is COVID-19 anxiety syndrome? (medicalnewstoday.com)

Episode 26

C-PTSD and COVID-19

I’m Fully Vaccinated-Now What?

May 13, 2021

In this week’s episode I talk about how the pandemic has impacted me and what role did Complex-Post Traumatic Stress play in how I am managing my experience with COVID-19. For me, I take it one day at a time and on occasion, I take it one hour at a time or one minute at a time. For me the key is to be mindful and if you forget, that’s alright you can always return to being mindful any time you realize you were not being mindful. Chew on that for a minute. While you are chewing on that last comment, here are some websites I found that may contribute to the discussion. Thank you for listening to Out of My Mind in Costa Rica – Living with Complex Post-Traumatic Stress.

This is a very vivid personal account of Jackie Armstrong, a woman with Complex PTSD and how COVID-19 impacted her life. Her story is very powerful.

How the COVID-19 Pandemic Is Triggering My Complex PTSD (yahoo.com)

 This is a nice article published in the Medical News Today newsletter. It gives a brief overview of PTSD, pinpoints the specific things you can do if the pandemic is impacting you or someone you love who has PTSD.

PTSD and coronavirus (COVID-19): Symptoms and how to cope (medicalnewstoday.com)

 COVID-19 affects us in many ways, one of the ways is by traumatizing people. Here’s an article by 
 William A. Haseltine Ph.D. published in Psychology Today. 

COVID-19 Traumatic Stress Disorder | Psychology Today

The Effects of the Coronavirus (COVID-19) Pandemic on PTSD is a no nonsense article from the US Department of Veteran Affairs. Lots of good stuff here.

Effects of the Coronavirus (COVID-19) Pandemic on PTSD - PTSD: National Center for PTSD (va.gov)

 Feel free to email me about any of these articles. I am happy to talk with you about them.

[email protected]

Episode 25

C-PTSD and Baby Steps

Am I Feeling Better or Is It Prozac?

April 29, 2021 

In this episode, I am talking about feeling better on a more consistent way. This enhancement in my mood also corresponds to the window of effectiveness for Fluoxetine which is better known as Prozac. It doesn’t matter to me because the experience of feeling better is motivating regardless of it’s source. My role is to build on that emotional and cognitive shift taking place into a better world for myself and for the people I love and care about.

I am taking Prozac, which is classified as a Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibiter or an SSRI. This class of anti-depressant has been shown to be just as effective in treating depression as psychotherapy. There are currently 15 different name brands of SSRIs using six fundamental compounds. For more information click on any of the links below.

Lexapro (escitalopram),  Zoloft (sertraline), Prozac (fluoxetine), Paxil (paroxetine), Celexa (citalopram), Luvox (fluvoxamine), Paxil CR (paroxetine), Brisdelle (paroxetine), Sarafem (fluoxetine), Luvox CR (fluvoxamine), Prozac Weekly (fluoxetine), Pexeva (paroxetine), Selfemra (fluoxetine), and Rapiflux (fluoxetine).

In the Costa Rican healthcare system, I was given the choice of Prozac, Prozac or Prozac. So, I chose Prozac.

Dr. Arielle Schwarts has been writing about the journey of healing from Complex-PTSD for years. 

Healing Complex PTSD and Dissociation | Dr. Arielle Schwartz (drarielleschwartz.com)

Here is the official government site on PTSD. I have given you the link to their information on Complex-PTSD.

Complex PTSD - PTSD: National Center for PTSD (va.gov)

I have given you this resource before. It’s an oldie, but a goodie.

Complex PTSD Healing | CPTSDfoundation.org

Thrive After Abuse has a YouTube Channel and they are doing their part in helping people with Complex-PTSD. 

Healing from Complex PTSD: Relaxation and Affirmation Video - YouTube

Episode 24

C-PTSD and Anger

The Ugly Underbelly of Complex PTSD

April 22, 2021

Today I am talking about anger and if you have C-PTSD, then you know anger. It’s not that you feel angry, but more that you look beneath your anger to the vulnerable parts of yourself. Today I try to give you an idea of the roots of my anger and the impact of growing up within an incest family. There is surprisingly little written on the relationship between C-PTSD or PTSD and anger, even though angry outbursts are part of the diagnosis. I find that only a little bit odd. 

Well, here are some websites that may help you with your own concerns or you are concerned about a loved one. Regardless, check these sites out. Maybe you will find them useful.

It’s good to know what your footprint is when you are triggered. Do you fight? Do you flee? Or Do you freeze or fawn? We tend to be in one of these categories.

Trauma Responses : Fight, Flight, Freeze or Fawn? (childhoodtraumarecovery.com)

Pete Walker is a guy I have stumbled upon who has built up a very nice library of articles, books, audiobooks focused on Complex Post-Traumatic Stress. I highly recommend you check him out.

More and more traumatology pundits list attachment disorder as one of the key symptoms of Complex PTSD (pete-walker.com)

Here’s Pete’s website.

Pete Walker, M.A. Psychotherapy (pete-walker.com)

Here’s an organization I have just begun a relationship with. Look for my articles on their blog page coming soon.

CPTSD Foundation

There are 3 types of anger associated with Post-Traumatic Stress. Roland Bal suggests an interesting  approach to taming the anger within you. Learn more about this by clicking on the link below.

Complex PTSD and Anger: Looking at The 3 Types (rolandbal.com) 

Episode 23  

C-PTSD and Perseverance

Keep on Truckin’

April 15, 2021

Today’s focus is perseverance, something I believe many of you will relate to. I bring this up this week because the road has been a bit difficult to traverse over the past few weeks. I believe I am coming out the other side of darkness, thanks to my persistent perseverance. I am sure you have done your fair share of persevering which will make today’s episode of Out of My Mind in Costa Rica particularly interesting. Come on in. Give it a listen.

Here are a few websites that may or may not be aligned with today’s topic, but you will find they all have really good information for you regardless of where you sit in your recovery. 

Everyone knows the story of Sisyphus, but do they? Here’s a short video that will familiarize yourself with this Greek deceiver of the Gods.

Sisyphus: The Man Who Deceived the Gods - Greek Mythology Stories - See U in History - Bing video

This a one of the most influential books I have ever read. When you heal the shame that binds you, you heal yourself for life.

Healing the Shame that Binds You by John Bradshaw (goodreads.com)

Here’s a fantastic article. Be ready for a big read. There is lots of information here that may need to be absorbed bit-by-bit. Thank you Eggshell Therapy and Coaching for your work.

Toxic Family Dynamics and Complex PTSD (C-PTSD) | Eggshell Therapy and Coaching

Here is one woman’s journey to healing her Complex Post-Traumatic Stress. Her story is a good jumping off place for those of you seeking alternative healing practices. She achieves remarkable results.

Complex PTSD: How I'm Recovering My Ability to Self-Regulate (recovery.org)

Episode 22

What’s Going On?

Emotional Overwhelm

April 8, 2021

Today’s episode is no more than a brief explanation about why I have been MIA the past couple of weeks. I know there may be a few of you who may be concerned, and I want to set you mind at ease. Unfortunately, I don’t have the energy to give you any resource links this week, but if my plan goes well, I will be back next week with a full-length episode for your listening pleasure.

Thank you for your ongoing support and understanding.

Ray

Episode 22

C-PTSD and More Grief

And the Grief Goes On

March 25, 2021

Yeah, the grief continued all through this week. Remember last week when I talked about grief has no time restrictions? Well, last week really proved this to be true. Last week’s episode I focused on the 5 Stages of Grief and how you too will go through these stages, even if it is for the loss of your favorite fountain pen. 

This week was more like surviving the grief and I tell you all about it in this week’s episode. I took some bold moves to combat the ongoing and what seems like everlasting grief this week. I had pretty good results as evidenced by the fact that I actually was able to produce an episode this week.

As usual, here are some websites that offer more information about grieving when you have Complex Post Traumatic Stress.

An Evolutionary Framework for Understanding Grief by Randolph M. Nesse. This is an academic projects and packs a lot of punch. If you have an insatiable thirst for knowledge then this article may interest you.

http://www-personal.umich.edu/~nesse/Articles/Nesse-EvolutionBereavement-2005.pdf

Here’s a brief article on accessing your need to grieve those childhood losses that so many people with Complex Post-Traumatic Stress experience.

https://mindkindmom.com/grief-complex-ptsd/

Here’s a series of relative articles that are much easier on the brain that the more scholastic articles I am sharing this week. I hope you like them.

https://cptsdfoundation.org/category/grief/

I just discovered Pete Walker as I prepared this week’s podcast. He has been through it all and has lived to talk about it. Not only that, but he has also dedicated his professional career to helping people with Complex PTSD. My hat’s off to you, Pete Walker.

http://pete-walker.com/managingAbandonDepression.htm

Episode 20

C-PTSD and Grief

Grief-The Unrelenting Shadow of Complex Trauma

March 18, 2021

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross brought clarity to the grief process when she identified the 5-Stages of Grief. Regardless of the culture, all grieving people experience these 5 stages. Grief applies not only to human losses, but inanimate objects as well. Let me illustrate how I grieved the loss of my favorite ink pen. It’s not just any pen, it was a perfect pen. I paid a lot of money for that pen and I had that pen for many years. It was more than just a pen. Do you get the idea? I am really attached to this pen. Keep that in mind because people tend to get extremely attached to people. Whether it’s people or pens the stages of grief are there.

Stage 1: Denial: “Where the hell is my pen? I can’t believe it’s not here. I always know where that pen is.” This is denial. “The pen can’t be gone, it’s still here, somewhere. Denial gives a little cushion against the pain of our loss and opens the door to anger.

Stage 2: Anger: “Damnit! Where is that pen? I hate it when I can’t find my pen. I am such an idiot. This really pisses me off!” Here we have anger. Anger at the pen for being lost and anger with myself for losing it. This begins an effort to bargain the loss back.

Stage 3: Bargaining: “I know it has to be around here someplace. Maybe it’s in the kitchen. Is it in my coat pocket?” This is bargaining, with the hope that the loss suddenly shows up. This is fueled by fear that the loss is real. When we can’t bargain the loss back then depression sets in.

Stage 4: Depression: Eventually, I realize my pen is really gone, and I become sad and depressed. “I really miss that pen. It was a really good pen. I feel really bad about losing it.” This is the beginning of letting go and I am preparing myself to accept the loss.

Stage 5: Acceptance: Which brings me to acceptance. This is where all of the pieces of my grief come together and opens me up to life again. In this case, life without my favorite pen. “Today, I’ll buy a new pen.”

The 5 Stages of Grief are a real thing. Test yourself with them. What have you been able to successfully grieve and what are you still struggling with? Perhaps a loss so personal, that it has been impossible to look at until now. Now is the time to grieve. Be proactive and when you find yourself dealing with loss, then remember these five stages of grief. If you nurture yourself through your own grief process, then your load will be lighter, and you won’t keep getting stuck in the past with a bucket full of unresolved grief. 

Here is a brief article that talk directly to grief and Complex PTSD. There are also more resources in the body of the article.

http://thebereavementacademy.com/grieving-complex-ptsd/

Here’s an article that asks 5 questions related to Complex-PTSD and grief. There is some real good information tucked into a short article.

https://www.socialworker.com/feature-articles/clinical-intersections/grief-trauma-and-complex-trauma-5-questions-answers-social-workers/

This is a great article if not a bit wordy. Stay with it and you will gain a lot of insight as well as some good practices to explore if you want to go deeper into your grief.

http://pete-walker.com/pdf/GrievingAndComplexPTSD.pdf

Episode 19

C-PTSD and Communication

Good Communication Communicates

March 11, 2021

Would you like to improve your communication? Here are Four simple steps that will make an immediate impact. Implement these strategies into your repertoire and life will get better.

1. Stay in your own lane. You can’t speak for the other person. You can only speak to your own needs, your own wants, and your own desires. Keep in mind that it the responsibility of the speaker to be clear, and it is the responsibility of the listener to listen.
2. Practice self-soothing. Use your breath to help you regain clarity in your message. Breathe deeply and slowly. In addition, know exactly, what you want to say. It must be clear in your mind before you can convey it clearly to another person.
3. Use what they call an “I message.” This is a way of talking to your loved one, your boss, your child or pretty much anyone. It is easy to do and extremely effective. It helps you to stay on your side of the road. (#1)

I Messages have two “I’s” in them. Like your head has two eyes. It is basically a three-step process.

Step 1   State how you are feeling.  

1.      I feel sad …

2.      I feel happy …

3.      I feel anxious …

Step 2   State the experience. 

1.      when I am not included in your plans.

2.      when I see your smiling face.

3.      when I get no response from you.

Step 3 Together they go like this.

1.      I feel sad when I am not included in your plans.

2.      I feel happy when I see your smiling face.

3.      I feel anxious when there is no response from you.           

Repeat step 1, 2 and 3 as often as you need to.

Stonewalling turned out to be the straw that broke the camel’s back for me. The moment I realized I have been stonewalled for years, I realized that the jig was up and I had only one choice left.

https://www.kylebenson.net/stonewalling/

I cannot stress enough the role that Attachment Styles and Communication come into play when it comes to healthy relationships. Here are a couple of sites that take a closer look at attachment theory and how people with C-PTSD have less social support.

https://www.yourtango.com/2019329229/attachment-styles-that-affect-your-communication-skills-relationships

https://sciworthy.com/people-with-complex-ptsd-report-less-social-support-than-those-with-ptsd/

Alexander Draghici, MS, LCPC, from e-counseling.com has come up with 20 things NOT to say to people with PTSD. E-Counseling is an online mental health resource for people seeking support, advice and a connection to a licensed counselor. 

https://www.e-counseling.com/ptsd/things-not-to-say-to-someone-with-ptsd/

Episode 18

C-PTSD and Cannabis

Don’t Bogart that Joint My Friend

March 4, 2021

Today I am going to share with you my 50+ year love affair with cannabis. I first began smoking cannabis in January 1970 and I never looked back. Beginning as freshman at Western Michigan and continuing through today. I have never tired of the experience of being under its influence. So, you might ask, “Why are you not smoking for the month of March?” I don’t have a big answer to that. It just seemed like a good thing to do at the time. Today is Day 4 of this cleansing which includes alcohol as well. I just wanted to see what would happen when I stop smoking and drinking for a month. I will keep you informed about my progress. Meanwhile, here are some websites that hopefully will expand you understanding of the impact of cannabis not just on me, but on society as well. 

I support the legalization of cannabis as well as the decriminalization of all recreational drugs. The war on drugs has reaped havoc on our society and disproportionately punished tens of thousands of innocent people who were simply trying to get through the day. Thanks for coming by and I hope you enjoy today’s episode.

Let’s start off with an article that was published in High Times magazine. To no surprise this article is leaning towards the benefits of cannabis for those who’s lives are in turmoil due to PTSD and Complex PTSD.

https://hightimes.com/health/treating-complex-post-traumatic-stress-disorder-c-ptsd-with-medical-cannabis/

Here’s the Wikipedia article for Cannabis Use and Trauma. There are many affiliated links available on this web page for further exploration of the relationship between cannabis and trauma.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cannabis_use_and_trauma

In the Canadian publication The Conversation, they report on the positive impact that cannabis use has on people diagnosed with PTSD. Canada could soon be a leader in the research for the impact of cannabis on Complex PTSD as well.

https://theconversation.com/cannabis-shows-potential-for-treating-ptsd-new-study-125370

Here’s an article from Psychology Today that points out a phenomenon that occurs with frequent use has on the brain and our natural occurring cannabinoid receptors in our brains. This was something I didn’t know about. It’s a very interesting read.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/healing-addiction/202006/how-cannabis-defeats-itself-when-used-too-frequently