Paper Cuts

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Donor Kebabbed! The Guardian reveals more of Tory donor Frank Hester’s ‘jokes’ – and no one is laughing.  Mum’s the word. Pop star Lily Allen says having kids ruined her career. Plus – Woof justice. Vet watchdog says bills are too high and the papers have the lead. 

Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Jonn Elledge of and comedian Rosie Holt.

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Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com 

Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production

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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Picture Imperfect! The press jumps to the defence of amateur photographer Kate Middleton and we aren’t buying it. Lee’s done another runner. Former Labour councillor turned Conservative turned independent turns to Farage’s Reform UK in shock party swap. Plus – Not written in the stars. Gen Z are refusing to work with non-compatible star signs, which is so Gemini of them. 

Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by The Bunker podcast host Jacob Jarvis and comedian Gráinne Maguire.

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Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com 

Written and presented by Alex von Tunzelmann. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production

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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Photo strop! A doctored photo of Kate Middleton sends the press reeling. That’s showbiz. The 2024 Oscars ran smoothly, but there were still some surprise winners. Plus – Feeling Crabby! The Guardian’s deep dive into Margate’s crab museum is exactly what we needed today.

Miranda Sawyer is joined by The Critic’s Rob Hutton and comedian and actor Rich Fulcher

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Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com 

Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production

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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: I’m every (international) Woman. It’s International Women’s day, so naturally the papers get women competing against one another. Barklife! Crufts is back and the papers have exactly as many dog photos as you’d want. Plus – Stink-Eye For the Queer Guy. Rolling Stone’s exposé of shenanigans at Queer Eye explains everything and we’re “totally here for it”. 

Miranda Sawyer is joined by host of Pod Save The UK Coco Khan and host of the Self Help podcast Scottee. 

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Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  

Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Jade Bailey. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production 

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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: A budget budget for the budget conscious. Jeremy Hunt’s gave his (hopefully last) budget and the press are divided. The secret sex lives of the nation. We read The Times’ article on British bedroom habits so you don’t have to. Plus – A slice of cake and a novelty spoon! The Oscars goodie bags are… really underwhelming.  

Jacob Jarvis is joined by journalist Holly Thomas and the New Statesman’s Jonn Elledge. 

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Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  

Written and presented by Jacob Jarvis. Audio production: Jade Bailey. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production 

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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Keeping Up With The Sunaks. The PM and wife sit down with Grazia magazine for an interview that redefines the word “uncomfortable”. What’s the beef? The Times gets judgey about Greggs. Plus – Glitz and Clamour. The Guardian investigates why celebrity red carpet interviews are going off the rails.

Miranda Sawyer is joined by TLDR News Lead Writer Ben Blissett and comedy writer Jason Hazeley.

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Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com 

Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Jade Bailey. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production

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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Mourning in America. The US Supreme Court rules Donald Trump can run in every state. Hall of fame? ‘Celebrity’ Big Brother has started and we’re still trying to work out who the contestants are… Plus – Can’t buy me love! The Times and The Telegraph have the scoop on the latest celeb packed mega-wedding, which was actually a “pre-wedding”.

Jacob Jarvis is joined by columnist Rebecca Reid and comedian Marcus Brigstocke.

Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: back.papercutsshow.com

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Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com 

Written and presented by Jacob Jarvis. Audio production: Jade Bailey. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Jade Bailey. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production

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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: What a Raye day! Croydon’s ten-year overnight sensation conquers the Brits, plus Kylie saves the world and CMAT brings the “craic”. It’s Self-Doubt Monday! The papers are going to improve your brain, your weight and your sex life… whether you like it or not. 

 Plus – Spice up your wife! The Daily Mail has the latest in Geri Halliwell’s relationship drama. 

Miranda Sawyer is joined by editor of Popbitch Chris Lochery and the wickedly talented comedian Gráinne Maguire. 

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Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  

Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Jade Bailey. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production 

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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Why election? George Galloway wins in Rochdale. Ugh. I wanna live like Normal People. A deep dive into screen hunk Paul Mescal’s love life. Kiss the bride? A load of weird wedding traditions make it in the Daily Star.

Miranda Sawyer is joined by comedian Marcus Brigstocke and The Critic writer Rob Hutton.

Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: back.papercutsshow.com

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Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com 

Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Robin Leeburn Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production

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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Gone Girl. Key Royals are missing and The Daily Mail are terrified. News in name only. GB News is going out to the fringes and dragging the Conservative party with it. Plus – That’s rich. Survey says millennials will become “the richest ever” once their parents pop off. “In your dreams,” says angry Times writer. 

Andrew Harrison is joined by LBC Broadcaster Natasha Devon and comedian Fergus Craig.

Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: back.papercutsshow.com

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Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com 

Written and presented by Andrew Harrison. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Jade Bailey. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production

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