Parenting Decoded

Tackling the age-old parenting challenge of getting kids to do their chores requires a systematic approach rather than nagging or giving up. We explore a six-step process focused on bedroom cleanup that can transform your family's approach to household responsibilities.

• Breaking down "clean your room" into specific tasks like making the bed, putting clothes in hamper, and picking up toys
• Creating separate lists for daily versus weekly tasks to make expectations more manageable
• Letting children choose when they'll complete their chores (morning, evening, specific days for weekly tasks)
• Setting up clear consequences tied to things kids value rather than making up punishments in the moment
• Working as a team with your children to create the system rather than imposing it on them
• Taking a focused approach by solving one area at a time rather than trying to fix all chore problems simultaneously

Try this approach with bedrooms first, then apply what works to other areas of your home. Remember we're experimenting together with our kids to find what works for our unique family.

LINK to "Energy Drain Ideas" on Mary's website: ENERGY DRAIN IDEAS

Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com. 

Have a blessed rest of your day!

In this episode, we tackle the important issue of childhood sexual abuse and how to help prevent it. By educating ourselves as parents, we can provide our children with the tools they need to protect themselves.

• Discuss the prevalence of childhood sexual abuse statistics 
• Explore the need for children to know proper terminology for body parts 
• Encourage open lines of communication about consent and boundaries 

Let's work together to change statistics and protect our children.

Here is the full article from AAP:

https://www.contemporarypediatrics.com/view/aap-tips-for-teaching-children-about-body-boundaries-and-safety

Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com. 

Have a blessed rest of your day!

Does your child have a problem with what's in their backpack?   You know,  those papers that are wrinkled at the bottom?  Maybe a permission slip?  Or possibly a banana? 
 
Or how about the things that are NOT in their backpack?  Do they forget to put their homework in?  Or maybe their lunch or water bottle? 

In this podcast take a new approach!

We want it to be THEIR fault in their minds.  It’s ok that there’s a problem, it’s just not ok if they blame others. But, if we touch their backpacks, it IS our fault!

I have some rules for you:

 RULES FOR PARENTS
1 - Don't empty the backpack
2 - Don't pack the backpack
3 - Don't carry the backpack
 
Don't get me wrong,  you're welcome to coach a child but THEY need to do the work.  No nagging!  Just ASK if they'd like some suggestions.  Maybe make lists with them about what's supposed to go IN the backpack before school and what comes OUT after school.  Make the lists together, don't just write it all up for them.  If they can't read then use pictures or drawings.   
 
 

Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com. 

Have a blessed rest of your day!

For some families having lots of Halloween candy floating around our homes causes stress and strain.  In this podcast learn some tricks for treating your whole family to a more fun and happy experience as you learn to set limits and boundaries while giving lots of choices and, occassionally, letting your kids make poor decisions.  

Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com. 

Have a blessed rest of your day!

Hearing the phrase "secure attachment" makes us think of some academic thesis.  BORING!  Well,  I want to help flip that idea in our minds to "CRUCIAL".  Yes,  having our kids see us as stable, reliable and empathetic beings in their lives is ESSENTIAL.  In this podcast episode I talk to Eli Harwood, a therapist and "attachment nerd", as she calls herself on social media.  We talk about how in her book, Raising Securely Attached Kids, you can learn to build a stable and trusting environment for our kids so they will thrive and grow. 

In her examples of how secure parents approach problems you can feel relief in knowing there are successful strategies in creating confident kids who know we'll always have their backs.

Eli's new book:
Raising Securely Attached Kids: Using Connection-Focused Parenting to Create Confidence, Empathy and Resilience

Eli's Good Morning American appearance 8/31/24:
How to Manage Anxiety and Stress at the Beginning of the School Year

Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com. 

Have a blessed rest of your day!

 How much can a 2-, 3- or 4-year-old do?  What can they do?  They’re so little, right?  A toddler?  A preschooler?  What’s reasonable?  What’s not?   Are you doing too much as a parent?  

 All good questions for sure that most of us struggle with!  In this podcast we explore what’s reasonable to encourage and train young kids to do from chores to life skills that will build self-confidence and independence. 

Here's the list of ideas we cover: 
 Personal accomplishments:

• Feed themselves
• Pack backpack
• Make bed
• Pick out clothes
• Put clothes in hamper
• Wash their own hands by themselves

Family Contributions

• Setting the table
• Clearing dishes
• Vacuuming
• Dusting
• Fold socks
• Load laundry and start machine
• Unload/put away dishes
• Wash windows
• Take care of pets
• Simple cooking tasks

Outdoor tasks

• Pull weeds
• Rake leaves
• Water plants

Personal Growth

• Learn how to have Solo Play Time
• Have "Reading Time" on their own
• Learn to ride a Balance Bike

Be Assistant to Mom or Dad - these are done with JOY and with Mom or Dad, not alone

• Help make a meal
• Pick up dog poop or clean litter box
• Help take out the trash
• Garden - sweep, dig, plant
• Clean - bathroom, mop floor

Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com. 

Have a blessed rest of your day!

Getting teens and tweens to talk to parents is an age old battle the repeats itself over and over again with each new generation.  Times change but our teens wanting independence from us doesn't. 

In this episode learn some tips and tricks for how to get our kids to relax and just enjoy being with us so that they'll open up and want to trust us. 

There is a list of activities and how to use them to break down the barriers and engage your teens and tweens that should lead to building trusting relationships.

Here are links to things referenced in the episode:
YouTube video:  Communicating with Teens

Blog Post Transcript Available HERE

Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com. 

Have a blessed rest of your day!

Kids of all ages need to feel connected and loved unconditionally.  How can you set up a system in your family for creating and keeping those connections?  In this podcast we go over connections for kids between 2 and 10.  The next podcast covers what you can do for teens and tweens, a much harder demographic than younger kids who still think the world of you. 

In this episode we explore ideas on how to have regular "quick" connections on a daily or weekly basis while also considering longer "dates" with our kids.  We talk about how the intention is for each parent to have one-on-one time with each kid in their family. 

There are examples of how some families have accomplished this as well as resources for ideas on what to do for "short" connections as well as times to connect in longer, more meaningful ways.

The goal is to set up connections that can go deep and will continue on into their tween and teen years. 

Hint:  Start young! 

Resources for this podcast:
30 Joyful Ways to Connect by OneTimeThrough
56 Ways to Connect With Your Kids by TalkingParents.com

Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com. 

Have a blessed rest of your day!

Grumpy kids can really put your home into a foul mood.  What can we do to help tame these dark clouds and bring some sunshine back into our lives?

In this episode we'll cover these four steps:

Step 1 – Keep Your Cool 

Step 2 – Offer Empathy and Hugs 

Step 3 - Fix the Broken Connection 

Step 4 – Go on a Trigger Quest and Brainstorm

The transcript for this episode is HERE

Here are the resources mentioned in the podcast:

• Kings Corner Card Game YouTube Instruction Video 
• Mood Meter Graphic 

Parenting Decoded YouTube Videos 

• Communicating with Teens and Tweens Parenting Decoded YouTube Video 
• Getting Kids to Listen 
• Being a Calm Parent 

Parenting Decoded Podcast Link 

• Anger Management for Parents 

Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com. 

Have a blessed rest of your day!

Parents struggle with how to motivate their children toward certain behaviors. Typically rewards and bribes are used. 

In this episode learn about when bribes and rewards are most likely to motivate your child.  There are pros and cons of both types of motivations.  Bribes tend to reinforce negative behaviors, while rewards are commonly thought of as something that's planned ahead and well-thought-out, used for positive behaviors. 

However, sometimes our plans backfire!  When? How? What do we do?  Listen and learn!

Click HERE for a written transcript on my website. 

Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com. 

Have a blessed rest of your day!