Ever wondered how far you'd go to care for someone you love? How much dignity you'd sacrifice? I found my answer on the side of I-20 during Atlanta rush hour.

When my mother started talking to people who weren't there, walking into walls, and fidgeting constantly, I suspected a UTI—those sneaky infections that can make dementia symptoms appear dramatically worse. After three grueling weeks of attempting to collect a urine sample from my incontinent mother, we finally succeeded. With my precious cargo secured, I had exactly one hour to reach a lab 45 minutes away.

What followed was nothing short of a caregiver's nightmare. Halfway to the lab, my body betrayed me, forcing an emergency roadside stop that left me sweating, shaking, and utterly humiliated—but still clutching that precious urine sample. You’ll have to listen to the episode for all that went down - listener discretion advised!

This raw, unfiltered story illustrates the invisible battles caregivers fight daily. We sacrifice comfort, dignity, and sometimes even our own health in service of those who depend on us. But in those moments of chaos and desperation, we discover reservoirs of strength we never knew existed.

If you're caring for someone with dementia, remember this: UTIs are the worst. They can cause dramatic behavioral changes that mimic worsening dementia. Before assuming your loved one's condition is deteriorating, check for infection. And never, ever stop advocating—even when it means pulling over on a busy highway or challenging medical professionals who stand in your way.

Subscribe to Parenting Up for more unvarnished truths about the caregiving journey. Because sometimes the messiest stories offer the most valuable lessons.

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Have you ever witnessed someone persevere to no end to maintain a connection with someone they cared about? That's exactly what happened when my mother's DC circle refused to let her disappear after my dad's death.

When Betty began bombarding my mother's phone, email, and even her old-school answering machine with messages, I initially dismissed it as an unwelcome intrusion. We were deep in grief, struggling with the aftermath of my dad's passing, and I had no energy for reconnecting with old friends. Little did I know this persistent woman would create one of the most healing moments in our early dementia journey.

Betty and two other powerful Black female professionals had worked with my mother for decades, forming bonds I hadn't fully understood. "If you don't have nobody in your life willing to go that hard in the paint and keep worrying the sh*t out of people they think can get to you," I now realize, "then you need to check your crew." Their insistence on seeing my mother face-to-face led to a remarkable reunion at a DC hotel that changed everything.

When these women demanded time alone with my mother, I reluctantly stepped away, worried about leaving her without my supervision. When I came back, I heard something that stopped me in my tracks – my mother's genuine, unrestrained laughter echoing down the hallway. 

This experience fundamentally changed my approach to caregiving. Sometimes the best thing we can do is step aside and allow longstanding connections to work their magic. 

What connections have you been maintaining or perhaps neglecting in your caregiving journey? Who might be trying to reach you or your loved one that deserves a chance to connect? Your village might be larger and more determined than you realize.

Executive Producer/Host: J Smiles Comedy

Producer: Mia Hall

Editor: Annelise Udoye 

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In today's episode, we had the great opportunity to speak with an amazing author who is changing the outlook on aging! Dr. Corinne Auman, a care management expert and author of "Keenagers: Telling a New Story About Aging," joins us to challenge the overwhelming negativity surrounding the aging process.

Drawing from both professional expertise and personal experience caring for family members with dementia and Parkinson's, Dr. Corinne reveals a profound truth: how we think about aging largely determines how our aging journey unfolds. Those with positive attitudes toward their later years tend to prepare comprehensively, not just financially but emotionally, socially, physically, and spiritually. Meanwhile, those dreading age-related decline often avoid planning altogether, inadvertently creating the very crises they fear.

The language we use matters deeply. When searching for words to describe aging positively while writing her book, Dr. Corinne discovered our vocabulary is dominated by negative terms. This linguistic limitation reflects and reinforces our cultural attitudes. "Keenagers"—older adults who are highly developed and maintain strong interests—offers a fresh alternative that celebrates continued engagement rather than withdrawal.

For caregivers, especially, this perspective shift is transformative. Whether you're currently caregiving or simply wanting to approach your future with greater intention, Dr. Corinne's insights will inspire you to write a new story about aging—one filled with purpose, possibility, and continued growth.

Have you started planning for your aging journey? 

To learn more about Dr. Auman, visit corinneauman.com. 

Host:  ⁨J Smiles Comedy⁩
Producer: Mia Hall⁩
Editor: Annelise Udoye

#CaregivingJourney
#DementiaAwareness
#AlzheimersCare
#CaregiverSupport
#HumorInCaregiving
#EndAlz #keenagers #aging 

#olderadults 

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Parenting Up family - today's episode is a special one! 

The worlds of sports memorabilia and caregiving collide in this deeply personal glimpse into my journey to honor my father's extraordinary legacy while navigating the daily challenges of caring for my mother with Alzheimer's.

My father, Jock Michael Smith, accomplished something unprecedented - creating the largest sports memorabilia collection in modern history. Not as a full-time collector or dealer, but as a successful attorney who pursued this passion nights and weekends throughout his career. While the world recognizes many brilliant lawyers, only one person created a collection of this magnitude and significance - a Black man from Queens whose passion preserved pivotal moments in sports and cultural history.

When MeTV's reality show about collectors reached out to me, I was finally ready to speak about my father and the collection I inherited. I showcased eight iconic pieces from my father's collection of thousands. From Muhammad Ali's sweat-stained robe to Michael Jordan's double-signed jersey to Curt Flood's game-changing uniform, each item tells a story beyond sports, documenting moments when individuals challenged societal norms and made history.

This journey reminds us that dreams don't expire - they manifest on their own timeline. After 13 years since my father's passing, his collection is finally gaining the recognition it deserves. Whatever your passion, stay true to it. Build your team, follow your heart, and know that your moment will come, even if it takes longer than expected.

Executive Producer: J Smiles 

Producer: Mia Hall

Editor: Annelise Udoye

BTS Videographer: Isaiah  

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Welcome to the last episode of our 3 part 'Detroit Cares About Caregivers' Series! 

What resources actually exist for caregivers, and how do you access them when you need support? This question haunts many people thrust into caregiving roles, often leaving them feeling isolated and overwhelmed. In this episode, we bring together powerhouse resources ready to lighten your load—without emptying your wallet.

The biggest revelation? Many people providing significant care don't identify as caregivers at all. "If you're providing services for a loved one, a neighbor, anyone that depends on you for assistance, advice, or expertise—you are a caregiver," explains Dr. McNeill, DNP, Project Director of Wayne State University's A.G.R.E.E.D-GWEP program. This critical identity shift opens the door to a wealth of support many never knew existed.

We dive deep with experts from three major organizations: Wayne State University's Geriatric Workforce Enhancement Program (a $5 million initiative), the Alzheimer's Association Michigan Chapter, and the Detroit Area Agency on Aging. Each shares concrete resources they offer completely free—from respite care options and support groups to innovative apps that help navigate the healthcare system and ensure accountability from providers.

Whether you're new to caregiving or have been shouldering responsibilities for years, this episode connects you with organizations that have already done the hard work of figuring out what caregivers need. As we wrap up our Detroit tour, we leave listeners with practical entry points to engage with these resources—websites, phone numbers, upcoming events, and most importantly, the encouragement to reach out.

Remember: Alzheimer's is heavy, but we don't have to be. Follow us for more conversations that bring light to the caregiving journey and subscribe to ensure you never miss an episode that might just change your caregiving experience.

For more information about the AGREED program, please visit http://agreed.wayne.edu. 

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Do you ever feel dismissed or intimidated when advocating for your loved one in medical settings? That ends today.

In Episode 2 of our 'Detroit Cares About Caregivers' series, medical providers share the importance of caregivers in the healthcare process. 

"I may know textbook, but you know your loved one," explains Dr. McNeill, Principal Investigator of the AGREED GWEP Program and the one who invited our team to create this insightful series!

Dr. McNeill and her colleagues shared game-changing insights in this powerful exploration of the caregiver-provider relationship. From Detroit's innovative Rosa Parks Geriatric Center, medical professionals reveal what they wish every family caregiver understood about being true healthcare partners.

The candid conversations unpack why the caregivers' perspective is invaluable in medical settings - not just welcomed, but essential. Dr. McNeill boldly repositions caregivers as "leaders of the healthcare team," pushing back against outdated hierarchies that diminish caregiver input. Meanwhile, geriatric specialists showcase thoughtful facility designs demonstrating how environments can better serve elderly patients and their caregivers.

Whether you're a seasoned caregiver or new to supporting an aging loved one, these conversations offer a roadmap for confidently navigating medical partnerships. Stop feeling like an outsider in your loved one's care and start embracing your rightful position as an essential healthcare ally with the expert guidance in this episode.

What conversation will you initiate with your loved one's healthcare provider after hearing these insights? Your voice matters more than you know.

For more information about the AGREED grant and resources for caregivers in Detroit, visit agreed.wayne.edu. 

Host: J Smiles Comedy

Producer: Mia Hall 

Editor: Annelise Udoye

This episode was filmed at Evry Media Studios in Detroit.  

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Parenting Up family, we are excited to bring you a new 3-part series in partnership with Wayne State University's AGReed grant! 

In this episode, Detroit caregivers speak with J Smiles about their experiences as caregivers for their loved ones with dementia. They discuss the physical demands, logistics, and emotional stress while also offering self-care strategies to prevent burnout.

As always, caregivers also spoke about funny moments with their loved ones that provide levity during the tough times of dealing with this horrible disease. 

To learn more about Wayne State's AGReed Grant - visit agreed.wayne.edu! 

Host: J Smiles

Producer: Mia Hall 

editor: Annelise Udoye

Video and Studio: Evry Media Detroit

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The void between medical expertise and lived caregiving experience takes center stage in this powerful season finale. Join us as we recap the Alter Dementia Summit 2025!

This episode captures the vibrant energy of a gathering that feels simultaneously like a homecoming, family reunion, and professional conference. At its heart is a critical message from caregivers to the medical community: slow down and recognize us as the experts we've become. 

Through moving testimonials, attendees express what they wish doctors understood – the need for comprehensive resources, guidance on medication management, and most importantly, to be treated as valued partners in care rather than passive recipients of medical directives.

The summit showcases remarkable work happening at the intersection of faith and healthcare, with Edward Smith sharing how his church in Fort Worth partners with Alter to support congregation members caring for loved ones with dementia.

 We meet Jessica, whose social media presence has created vital community for countless caregivers, and Dr. Kalisha Barnes Johnson, whose NIH-funded research specifically focuses on Black adult daughters caring for parents with dementia.

Perhaps the most powerful revelation comes from Dr. Fayron Epps, whose vision has expanded from serving 24 churches to supporting 112 faith communities across five years. 

For anyone walking the caregiving journey, this episode offers both practical insights and emotional resonance. 

Subscribe now and join this vital conversation about transforming dementia care through authentic partnership and visit alterdementia.com for more information about the Alter Dementia program.

Host: J Smiles

Producer: Mia Hall 

Editor: Annelise Udoye 

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When Dr. Fayron Epps launched the Altar program, she was told repeatedly that no one would fund research connecting faith and dementia care in the Black community. Fast forward to today, and her groundbreaking initiative has expanded to 23 states, 112 faith communities, and 14 Christian denominations—with millions in funding from government agencies, corporate sponsors, and foundations.

What makes this program revolutionary is its dual approach: utilizing the "altar" of the church while "altering" perceptions about dementia in Black communities. By training faith leaders to support caregivers over a committed two-year partnership, Alter creates sustainable support systems where judgment is replaced with understanding and practical assistance.

During our conversation at what I insisted on calling the "summit convention" , Dr. Epps revealed how her own experience of not wearing stockings to church and feeling judged informed her passion for creating more inclusive faith spaces. She shared powerful stories of pastors who initially seemed hesitant but eventually became champions for caregivers in their congregations.

Most compelling was learning about Altar's newest focus on youth caregivers—teenagers who silently shoulder adult responsibilities without recognition or emotional support. 

For caregivers feeling isolated or judged within their faith communities, Dr. Epps offers a vision of what could be—churches that recognize your struggle, make space for your loved one's changing behaviors, and provide genuine support rather than mere platitudes. 

Want to learn more about bringing the Altar program to your community? Visit their website at alterdementia.com. 

Host: J Smiles Comedy

Producer: Mia Hall

Editor: Annelise Udoye

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Motherhood takes many forms, and caregiving might be the most overlooked version. This Mother's Day episode challenges us to reconsider who deserves celebration and recognition.

The numbers tell a striking story: Americans spent $33 billion on Mother's Day last year, showering traditional mothers with gifts and attention. Meanwhile, family caregivers perform somewhat similar work—often with many challenges—yet receive little acknowledgment. As caregivers, we embody the very definition of mothering: "bringing up with care and affection." We provide selfless support and unconditional love and prioritize our loved ones' needs above our own. Sound familiar? That's motherhood in its purest form.

Unlike traditional parents who choose their role and prepare for it, caregivers are typically thrust into responsibility without warning. We didn't plan for our parents to develop Alzheimer's or dementia. We didn't anticipate becoming responsible for another adult's survival. Yet here we stand,  without the recognition. For those in the "sandwich generation" simultaneously raising children while caring for aging parents, the burden is doubly heavy—yet society rarely acknowledges this extraordinary dual mothering role.

This Mother's Day, I'm advocating that caregivers claim their rightful place in the celebration. Whether you're caring for a parent, spouse, sibling, or friend, the selfless nature of your work deserves recognition. Tell your circle that, as someone performing motherly duties, you're open to receiving the gifts, dinners, and celebrations typically reserved for traditional mothers. And consider how this challenging journey might be transforming you, developing greater patience, compassion, and resilience that benefits not just your loved one, but ripples outward to enhance all your relationships.

Join our Patreon community at patreon.com/JSmilesStudios to connect with fellow caregivers and access behind-the-scenes content. 

Host: J Smiles 

Producer: Mia Hall

Editor: Annelise Udoye 

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