Parenting UP! Caregiving adventures with comedian J Smiles

Alzheimer's disease is very mysterious. Caregivers are often guessing what their LO's (loved ones) are feeling, experiencing, etc. CG's live a life of magical charades.

The first time ALZ shows up in an ordinary daily event can turn a caregiver's heart on tilt. J Smiles takes time to share a handful of specific examples of just that. She was not prepared for the initial instance when Zetty did not recognize herself in a photograph.

There are many things that science can track but this is an area where a heart must rely on other humans. Shock and awe create pain and frustration for J Smiles with each first event. She never sees it coming. J hopes her stories can help others navigate the first time, unknowns.

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Chef Angela (Angela Gorham) joins J Smiles for an in-the-trenches-right-now-conversation. Like J, she is single, childless and her mom's full-time caregiver. Another commonality, another's death made their mother's Alzheimer's undeniable. Listen for Ms Gorham's shocking thrust from condo to caregiver.

With less than one year of caregiving under her belt, Chef Angela asks J pertinent and picky questions as an OG caregiver. Such honest inquiries set the stage for a meaningful exchange not loss on either speaker. J Smiles laughs and softs steps through measured expectations of "does it get better" probes. J Smiles gives sage advice like never before. Each tells of talents unleashed through the journey of Parenting UP!

Chef Angela is quick to explain why lying is her newest sign of love ---  "Trying to explain the truth... oh, no I do NOT do that anymore."

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Chef Angela YOUTUBE CHANNEL
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_NQ62XEy-aWAlrPNqtTpzQ/about

Tune-in every Monday for Parenting UP! "LIVE video Caregiving Conversation" on Getvokl,  @ 9p EST USA:
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"Alzheimer's is heavy but we ain't gotta be!"
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J Smiles lets listeners meet another main "crew" member,  a major supporter on her journey as a caregiver, Monica Cost. Interestingly, their bond started as adults through civic board membership.  But wow, did they make up for 'lost' time. With many natural connections - members of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc., HBCU'ers, and free spirits they became fast friends.

Monica calmly recounts rocky moments in J's life.  Monica was physically present with J Smiles when Jocko had his heart-attack. She is insightful regarding  J Smiles' empathic tendencies. Monica leads with observation and a desire to understand. Cost offers supportive methods to care for caregivers -- start with extending grace. She encourages caregivers to make adjustments in real-time to manage stress levels.

The restrictive price of caregiving is discussed. J Smiles even admits to instances of guilt due to her reduced bandwidth.

The conversation is filled with laughter and lessons.   

Once again, what is most evident is the power of friendship and the importance of J's crew.

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Tune-in every Monday for Parenting UP! "LIVE video Caregiving Conversation" on Getvokl,  @ 9p EST USA:
https://getvokl.com/channel/parenting-up

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"Alzheimer's is heavy but we ain't gotta be!"
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Caregivers experience quite a few dark, negative emotions. Often they are ashamed to shared such feelings aloud. J Smiles tackles frustration in hopes of normalizing this "negative" expression.

She uses a variety of funny and not-so-humorous memories with Zetty to drive the point home.  According to Smiles, frustration looms always. She sites expert's coping mechanisms throughout the episode. Even better J Smiles digs deep, tells the truth and leaves the listener with her own bag of tricks to minimize frustration.

Smiles ends reminding the listener to Snuggle UP to reality... encourages everyone to join the LIVE caregiving conversation on Getvokl.com every Monday night... and to signup for Parenting UP! emails.

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Tune-in every Monday for Parenting UP! "LIVE video Caregiving Conversation" on Getvokl,  @ 9p EST USA:
https://getvokl.com/channel/parenting-up

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Caregiver.org (Frustration)
https://www.caregiver.org/emotional-side-caregiving
 

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"Alzheimer's is heavy but we ain't gotta be!"
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Caregivers experience a tsunami of emotions. Positive, negative, neutral, unspeakable.

J Smiles tackles resentment. She uses very specific examples of pain and purpose to expose her journey of uncovering this tricky emotion.  A conversation with a member of Kevin Hart's team really drives home the point of how quickly J must pivot in day to day decisions.   

She speaks truth to the loneliness of caregiving and offers respite in the concept of self-forgiveness. J Smiles uses her unique storytelling ability to give a few examples of fork-in-the-road moments where resentment loomed... concerned, uncertain, choices had to be made.

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Tune-in every Monday for Parenting UP! "LIVE video Caregiving Conversation" on Getvokl,  @ 9p EST USA:
https://getvokl.com/channel/parenting-up

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"Alzheimer's is heavy but we ain't gotta be!"
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TEXT  'PODCAST"  to  +1 404 737 1449  - to give J topic ideas, feedback, say hi!
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Routine does not mean regular when it comes to doctors office visits for Zetty. Much to J Smiles dismay, these common appointments are quite eventful.

Ever the observant comedic advocate, J Smiles gives the listener a first ear-view of several actual annual exams Zetty was forced to endure. You will never prepare a urine sample the same again. J offers a sprinkling of solutions to doctors and medical equipment manufacturers.

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Toilet Hat (collect urine while seated)
https://www.walmart.com/ip/Urine-and-Stool-Container-Medi-Pak-Polypropylene-Without-Closure-27-oz-800-cc-NonSterile/118527867?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=1971&&adid=22222222227066705367&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=c&wl3=170927691785&wl4=aud-566049426705:pla-277454009231&wl5=9010930&wl6=&wl7=&wl8=&wl9=pla&wl10=113134806&wl11=online&wl12=118527867&veh=sem&gclid=Cj0KCQjwp4j6BRCRARIsAGq4yMHQ06eNB-Uxnz5jqNyWe1Ht_iHE4OqChDz_ZawxIi7PrwyRCODMfZwaAq-tEALw_wcB

Extra Wide Scale
https://www.walmart.com/ip/Talking-Digital-Scale-15-x-12-x-1-Platform-550-lb-Weight-Capacity/16539314

Find Your Local Alzheimer's Association Chapter
https://www.alz.org/local_resources/find_your_local_chapter

Tune-in every Monday for Parenting UP! with J Smiles "THE LIVE video broadcast" on Getvokl, a casual conversation @ 9p EST USA:
https://getvokl.com/channel/parenting-up

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Please DONATE to ME & Zetty's #ENDALZ campaign  The Longest Day:
http://act.alz.org/goto/alzetti2020

Support the show

"Alzheimer's is heavy but we ain't gotta be!"
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TEXT  'PODCAST"  to  +1 404 737 1449  - to give J topic ideas, feedback, say hi!
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Quirky, honest storytelling. J Smiles files solo recounting a series of unrelated true events that remind us it will all be okay in the end, one way or another. Each memory spotlights how simple slips into complex and how common is not always ordinary.

J Smiles gives the listener a moment to pause and chuckle at some of the unbelievably-random-silly things that a caregiver faces. The theme is decidedly light and easygoing. Here, J also indirectly admits when Zetty, even with Alzheimer's, has out witted her.

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Tune-in every Monday for Parenting UP! with J Smiles "THE LIVE video broadcast" on Getvokl, a casual conversation @ 9p EST USA:
https://getvokl.com/channel/parenting-up

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Please DONATE to ME & Zetty's #ENDALZ campaign  The Longest Day:
http://act.alz.org/goto/alzetti2020

Support the show

"Alzheimer's is heavy but we ain't gotta be!"
IG: https://www.instagram.com/parentingup
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YT: https://www.youtube.com/@parentingup
TEXT  'PODCAST"  to  +1 404 737 1449  - to give J topic ideas, feedback, say hi!
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Choices and options are celebrated all over the world. Everyday we are encouraged to expand more, try more, do more. We are trained to avoid boredom at all cost. And definitely never become too bland or predictable.

J Smiles asks the listener to trash this thinking. Alzheimer's created a need for patterns, repetition and routines in her mom's life. J treads lightly putting variety in Zetty's day. Smiles uses quirky yet truthful stories of when too much variety bit her in the butt. The overarching message of the episode is to stick to strategies that give the best care with the least amount of stress to the caregiver.

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Tune-in every Monday for Parenting UP! with J Smiles "THE LIVE video broadcast" on Getvokl, a casual conversation @ 9p EST USA:
https://getvokl.com/channel/parenting-up

Subscribe to Parenting Up! Email List:
https://b4db2913.sibforms.com/serve/MUIEAFb7W1pjVP8P4JIrkBHRXOfRw5WmI0diWuV5VYbvytnea2JSVYv6EBwSGk9h_cPs_94Gz2EXg5v69ExKMcSs692SELz4zWoLERp99gNEiaZx8xzQ4xPVZ_6WLRKBofH0PFlsW3V48LQRegv5ybsLstpm14rY8fWyOAM0FhX9Qynnb-aPtwpIRYEMyLK55IcwLbSl2SvsPy8x

Please DONATE to ME & Zetty's #ENDALZ campaign  The Longest Day:
http://act.alz.org/goto/alzetti2020

Groundhog Day (movie)
https://www.netflix.com/title/563104

Stages of Alzheimer's Disease
https://www.alz.org/alzheimers-dementia/stages

O Magazine
https://www.oprahmag.com

Game Show Network
https://www.gsntv.com

Support the show

"Alzheimer's is heavy but we ain't gotta be!"
IG: https://www.instagram.com/parentingup
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TEXT  'PODCAST"  to  +1 404 737 1449  - to give J topic ideas, feedback, say hi!
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J Smiles moves swiftly to shed light on a normalized bias in the United States that really irks her. The legal marginalization of the elderly. She gives examples of how lawmakers and policy pushers have not included Alzheimer's sufferers in their protective based legislations. She parallels television parental controls for minors and seeks the same progressive choices for caregivers. 

Ever the storyteller, and always with levity, J Smiles paints a picture of the immediate harm currently experienced by Zetty and offers real options for solution. 

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Let's turn THIS PODCAST into a true conversation... Tune-in every Monday for Parenting UP! with J Smiles "THE LIVE video broadcast" on Getvokl, a casual conversation @ 9p EST USA:
https://getvokl.com/channel/parenting-up

Please DONATE -- any amount -- to Alz. Assoc.'s  The Longest Day:
http://act.alz.org/goto/alzetti2020

Get extra info by subscribing to our Parenting Up! Email List:
https://b4db2913.sibforms.com/serve/MUIEAFb7W1pjVP8P4JIrkBHRXOfRw5WmI0diWuV5VYbvytnea2JSVYv6EBwSGk9h_cPs_94Gz2EXg5v69ExKMcSs692SELz4zWoLERp99gNEiaZx8xzQ4xPVZ_6WLRKBofH0PFlsW3V48LQRegv5ybsLstpm14rY8fWyOAM0FhX9Qynnb-aPtwpIRYEMyLK55IcwLbSl2SvsPy8x

SHOW NOTES:
Federal Communications Commission
https://www.fcc.gov/general/parents
Federal Trade Commission
https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0029-parental-controls
National Center for Assisted Living
https://www.ahcancal.org/ncal/facts/
Care
https://www.care.com/c/stories/15840/nursing-homes-in-america/
Alzheimer's Association
https://alz.org/help-support/caregiving/stages-behaviors/anxiety-agitation

Support the show

"Alzheimer's is heavy but we ain't gotta be!"
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TEXT  'PODCAST"  to  +1 404 737 1449  - to give J topic ideas, feedback, say hi!
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J Smiles lets listeners meet one of her main crew members, one her biggest supporters on her journey as a caregiver, Christine Beatty. Their bond started as members of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. at Howard University almost thirty years ago. Christine gives her special account of Zetty and Jaigee before and since Alzheimer's disease. She retraces humorous, touching and thoughtful moments with care. She makes observations that are spot on and startling to J Smiles. Ultimately, J uncovers a few new areas of growth and clarifies past pains.

Christine was physically present for the major tragedies with both of J Smiles' parents. Her stories are vivid, funny and heart wrenching. It is amazing to hear the ebb and flow.

The intangible price of caregiving is discussed. J Smiles even admits to a spiritual confusion that Alzheimer's poses during prayer.

This episode is a woven, delicate, rich, colorful, layered tapaesrty laced with heavy and humorous jewels. What is most evident is the power of friendship and the importance of J's crew.

Parenting Up! has partnered with Getvokl for a LIVE interactive broadcast every Monday @ 9p EST USA, subscribe (a casual conversation):
https://getvokl.com/channel/parenting-up
Let's get to a CURE - Pls donate to Alz. Assoc.'s  The Longest Day:
http://act.alz.org/goto/alzetti2020

Support the show

"Alzheimer's is heavy but we ain't gotta be!"
IG: https://www.instagram.com/parentingup
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TEXT  'PODCAST"  to  +1 404 737 1449  - to give J topic ideas, feedback, say hi!
Be sure to leave us a review!