The Intentional Parents Podcast

Parenting with Scars + Becoming the Parent We Needed (A Conversation w/ A.J. Swoboda)


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This week, we’re thrilled to welcome back our dear friend A.J. Swoboda — author, professor, theologian, lay pastor, and fellow podcaster — for an honest conversation about what it means to parent while carrying our own scars. Like physical ones, emotional scars tell the story of pain endured and healing found.


We talk about the reality that many of us are giving our kids something we never received — emotional health, spiritual guidance, or intentional presence. While that’s a beautiful gift, it can also bring up unexpected feelings of shame or even jealousy as we confront the gaps in our own stories.


We discuss some practical tools for parenting with scars, including Jon Tyson’s Primal Path, a discipleship program for fathers and sons. We also reflect on how our children often become the ones who draw our scars into the light, asking questions that push us to face painful parts of our past.


Ultimately, we highlight the fact that healing is a slow, intentional process — and how parenting through our scars invites both challenge and redemption. We found our conversation with A.J. to be rich, emotional, and full of hope — and we think you will too.


Book Mentioned: His Face like Mine: Finding God's Love in Our Wounds by Russell W. Joyce

Previous Episode Mentioned: Procedural Memory: How God Redeems Reflexes, Rewrites Patterns and Renews the Mind (Spotify + Apple Podcasts)

Scripture Mentioned: Genesis 2:24


A.J. Swoboda:

A Teachable Spirit

Subversive Sabbath

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