When do we get to the point in life when we begin to lose just as often as we win? Career restarts, divorces, the death of a parent, the loss of a friend? For Chris Jones it all began roughly a decade ago, when he discovered his wife's romantic texts with his close male friend, and his marriage ended abruptly with a single sentence: "I saw it all. I'm done." That moment led Jones - an award-winning writer for Esquire, The Atlantic and ESPN - into a new phase of his life, when introspection, vulnerability, and love for a blue collar English soccer team gave him perspective on what it means to win and lose in life.

On this episode of Paternal, Jones recounts the moment he discovered his wife's infidelity, why his therapist recommended he consider picking up trash around town, and how he used soccer to connect with his English ancestors and his teenaged son during a time when he needed a win more than ever.

Jones' new memoir Legs Hearts Minds is available wherever you buy books. He has appeared on Paternal twice in the past, in 2021 and again in 2022.

By his own admission, Chuck Park lives in a cramped, two-bedroom apartment in Queens with his kids' drawings on the wall, a stroller by the door, and a dog who just won't stop barking. He's a dad concerned about the cost of health care and child care, and he's eager to fight for working families just like his. But can a normal dad with no experience in public office actually win a seat in the U.S. Congress?

On this episode of Paternal, Park explains why he left a cushy job to run for Congress to represent New York's 6th Congressional District, and how his young son played a major role in the decision. He also discusses the level of anxiety in his community amid ongoing ICE raids, and the experience of growing up as the son of Korean immigrants who worked tirelessly as street peddlers in Manhattan to pay the bills and raise a family.

Just a few months after the birth of his son in 2019, Kevin Maguire noticed he wasn't feeling quite right. At times he resented his newborn son, other times he would cry for seemingly no reason. He lost interest in his work and some of his hobbies, and he just couldn't quite shake this idea that maybe something was wrong with him. After all, wasn't this supposed to be one the happiest moments of his life?

Then Maguire discovered he was suffering from paternal postpartum depression, and the diagnosis sent him down a path that changed his life. Two years later he launched The New Fatherhood, a hugely popular international forum for men that Esquire dubbed "one big group text with other guys fumbling their way through fatherhood." Beginning with one email to friends that began with the line "being a dad isn't easy," The New Fatherhood now boasts a weekly newsletter read by nearly 20,000 dads in more than 150 countries.

On this episode of Paternal, Maguire discusses founding the forum, the kinds of vulnerable reactions he's received from dads over the years, and why we live in an era with the biggest changes facing fathers in generations. Maguire's new book, The New Fatherhood, is available wherever you buy books.

When Jordan Ritter Conn was a teenager growing up in an Evangelical Christian family, he met with a half dozen male friends every Saturday night for Bible Study. The sessions were a free-for-all for owning up to masturbation or admitting your insecurities, for speaking frankly about your father or dreaming about your future. Now a veteran journalist covering sports and culture for The Ringer and the author of the new book American Men, Conn still considers those Saturday nights "some of the best of my life."

On this episode of Paternal, Conn discusses why so many men are struggling to make similarly meaningful connections, as well as what he learned from years of intimate and revealing conversations with four men from diverse American backgrounds for his new book. He also examines the male loneliness crisis, why all men have to face "the masculinity gap" at some point in their lives, and why he always texts a male friend after a meaningful conversation.

Conn's new book, American Men, is available wherever you buy books.

Brooklyn-based psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author Daniel Smith has a motto: Feel everything, don't look away. But how exactly are men supposed to confront some of the most challenging emotions in their lives, especially when society tells them to suppress or even ignore feelings like shame, envy or regret?

On this episode of Paternal, Smith examines our relationship to what he calls "Hard Feelings," and why reconsidering how we relate to these emotions can be beneficial for men as they become fathers. He also recounts his own story of growing up with a father who lingered at an emotional distance, and why modeling that emotions are off-limits can lead to shame and anger in our kids.

Smith is the author of the 2012 memoir Monkey Mind and the new release Hard Feelings, available wherever you buy books.

Tom Junod spent more than two decades as one the most celebrated writers in the men's magazine game, winning two National Magazine Awards and penning unforgettable articles about everything from 9/11 to Mister Rogers. Dubbed by Esquire as the man who has "helped teach readers what masculinity looks like in the 21st century," Junod has been considered one of great writers in the magazine's nearly 100-year history, alongside Ernest Hemingway, F. Scott Fitzgerald, and Tom Wolfe.

But Junod certainly didn't learn about masculinity from a magazine. Instead he absorbed lessons about manhood imparted by his father Lou, a man who emulated the leading men of 1930s Hollywood and offered a treasure trove of men's-only secrets of success about wearing turtlenecks, making eye contact, and offering a firm handshake.

Then Tom learned the details of his father's other secrets, and it reshaped his opinion of what it means to be a good man.

Junod is the author of the memoir In The Days Of My Youth I Was Told What It Means To Be A Man, available now wherever you buy books.

John Elway. Joe Namath. Johnny Unitas. Peyton Manning. Look into the backstory of just about any star quarterback you've ever heard of, and you'll find either an overbearing father, or an absent one.

In honor of the Super Bowl and the men who play the biggest role in this game, author and ESPN senior writer Seth Wickersham joins Paternal to discuss why there's no cooler job title in America than quarterback, but each star's story often traces back to the influence of his father. He also discusses the challenges the sons of these star quarterbacks face in living up to the legacy of their dads, the perils of father/son relationships built on football, and why even Tom Brady struggled to be a quarterback and a father at the same time.

Wickersham's latest book, American Kings: A Biography of the Quarterback, is available now wherever you buy books.

As a teenager, Julian Brave Noisecat often heard ghost stories about the history of the Canim Lake Indian Reserve. He considered them simply rez legends, and figured the details of the stories - that indigenous babies had been born and left in the incinerator of the Christian residential school - simply couldn't be true. But then he learned the origin story of his own father, and everything changed.

Now an acclaimed author and the first Indigenous North American filmmaker ever nominated for an Academy Award, Noisecat opens a new year on Paternal with the story of discovering the truth about his father, and why the story was largely shrouded in silence for decades. He also discusses how adults sent to residential schools as kids sometimes struggle as parents themselves, and what he's learned about forgiveness and acceptance for his own father after learning more about his life. Noisecat's memoir We Survived the Night is available now wherever you buy books, and Sugarcane, his Academy-Award nominated documentary film, is available on Disney Plus and other streaming services.

When Robert Gallery was a senior at the University of Iowa, he was one of the most respected and feared college football players in the country. At 6-foot-7 and 320 pounds, Gallery leveraged his size, talent and tenacity into a lucrative contract and an eight-year career in the National Football League. But all the while he was quietly suffering one concussion after another on the football field, and when his career finally ended, he struggled to handle bouts of rage that left him shaking in a chair after his young child spilled a glass of milk.

On this episode of Paternal, Gallery reflects on the difficult transition from high-performance athlete to stay-at-home dad, the moment he learned about the extensive damage done to his brain, and how a vivid two-day psychoactive drug treatment in Mexico changed the course of his life. Gallery is the co-founder and CEO of Athletes for Care, a non-profit organization supporting athletes through mental health and alternative therapy advocacy. He was inducted into the College Football Hall of Fame in 2023.

What were the first words you said to your child when you became a parent? Was there something you needed to say to officially welcome him or her into this world, or was it all just a blur? For longtime Slate journalist and author Aymann Ismail the task was clear: He had to recite a Muslim call to prayer into his newborn son's right ear, a ritual that's been performed by countless Muslim fathers through the generations, all over the world. But was he appeasing God, or his own father?

On this episode of Paternal, Ismail discusses a life spent navigating being a Muslim kid who preferred cartoons over daily prayers, and then how his faith influences his role as a father to two young kids now. And all the while he's been trying to somehow live up to the expectations of his father, a devout and educated Muslim man fixated on the kind of man he believes his son should be.

Ismail's new book, Becoming Baba: Fatherhood, Faith and Finding Meaning in America, is available now wherever you buy books.