What were the first words you said to your child when you became a parent? Was there something you needed to say to officially welcome him or her into this world, or was it all just a blur? For longtime Slate journalist and author Aymann Ismail the task was clear: He had to recite a Muslim call to prayer into his newborn son’s right ear, a ritual that’s been performed by countless Muslim fathers through the generations, all over the world. But was he appeasing God, or his own father? 

On this episode of Paternal, Ismail discusses a life spent navigating being a Muslim kid who preferred cartoons over daily prayers, and then how his faith influences his role as a father to two young kids now. And all the while he’s been trying to somehow live up to the expectations of his father, a devout and educated Muslim man fixated on the kind of man he believes his son should be.

Ismail’s new book, Becoming Baba: Fatherhood, Faith and Finding Meaning in America, is available now wherever you buy books.