In this episode of the podcast, Becky and Hayley address the upset that was caused by a series of comedy sketches from a UK comedian, which centred around her experience as an egg donor. The sketches sparked widespread upset among our audience, amplifying deeper fears and concerns that are often felt by our community members. 

In an attempt to address the issue, Becky and Hayley explore how the sketches, intended as humour, inadvertently tapped into larger, unresolved complexities of donor, recipient and donor conceived relationships. The episode reflects on how comedy can sometimes unintentionally compound sensitive issues, leaving audiences feeling unsettled and vulnerable. Throughout the conversation, Becky and Hayley offer reassurance and provide practical advice for processing these emotions, guiding listeners through how to manage their feelings and navigate these difficult and often triggering topics with care and compassion. 

Show notes 

*Original recordings of reels taken from Instagram account @holyguacamole97

**Note that egg donation compensation levels in the UK are currently £985 per donation cycle not £950 as mentioned in the episode. For more info about UK donation compensation levels please see the HFEA website

www.hfea.gov.uk

FREE RESOURCE – In the episode Becky and Hayley refer to a helpful webinar, “Who is the real Mum/Dad’ click here to get free access https://pathstoparenthub.com/so-whos-the-real-mum-dad/

Paths to Parenthub Membership & Website 

www.pathstoparenthub.com

Becky

https://www.instagram.com/definingmum?igsh=c2ZoejR1ZW11Nnk4

Hayley

https://www.instagram.com/dcp_journey_2_rp?igsh=N2p4dHlpejE1Z3U4

Mel

https://www.instagram.com/the_stork_and_i?igsh=Ynh1cG5nOXMzaHg5

Paths to Parenthub

https://www.instagram.com/paths_to_parenthub?igsh=YTNtdjZxZGF3dHM4

In this episode, Becky and Hayley invite Mel Johnson to share her story of how a solo route to parenthood was the right choice for her. Mel candidly shares her experience of solo motherhood, using a sperm donor to conceive, and why she decided to set up the ‘Stork and I’ online community in order to support others on this path.

Following on from an exciting announcement earlier this month, Becky, Hayley and Mel share the benefits of the new collaboration between Paths to ParentHub and The Stork and I and explain how solo members can gain access to a wealth of resources and support that’s now available through both platforms. During this episode the trio discuss the nuances of using a donor within different family types, and how we can best provide support and offer community for everyone.

Finally, Mel rounds off this insightful episode with her ‘top tips’ when embarking on treatment as a solo parent. She also offers those already parenting some invaluable advice for anyone feeling like they would like more support in this area.

Show notes

Open to sharing your story?! In preparation for series 3 of the Paths to Parenthub podcast, Becky and Hayley are actively seeking people like you to join them on an episode. If this is something you would like to learn more about send us an email at [email protected] subject ‘share my story’

Website

www.pathstoparenthub.com

Link to waitlist page for future Paths to ParentHub Events

https://pathstoparenthub.com/event/

Instagram profiles

Becky

https://www.instagram.com/definingmum?igsh=c2ZoejR1ZW11Nnk4

Hayley

https://www.instagram.com/dcp_journey_2_rp?igsh=N2p4dHlpejE1Z3U4

Mel

https://www.instagram.com/the_stork_and_i?igsh=Ynh1cG5nOXMzaHg5

Paths to Parenthub

https://www.instagram.com/paths_to_parenthub?igsh=YTNtdjZxZGF3dHM4

In this episode Becky and Hayley speak candidly about their interactions and experiences of listening to donor conceived people, particularly within the online space.

They discuss what they have learnt from listening to those voices and reflect on why it’s so important to keep an open mind when engaging in these conversations, even when some of those discussions can be challenging. 

Through thoughtful conversation Becky and Hayley share their tips and advice around how best to navigate spaces that discuss donor conception, and share with their audience alternative ways to gain insight without having to be constantly scrolling on your phone!

Young Adults Study (YAS) as mentioned in episode

https://www.youngadultsstudy.co.uk/project-outputs/yas-report

Donor Conception: Connecting Through Conversations London Event Tickets

https://pathstoparenthub.com/event/

Paths to Parenthub Membership details:

https://pathstoparenthub.com

Final Paths to Parenthub event tickets for 2nd November: https://pathstoparenthub.com/event

Paths to Parenthub Instagram

page: www.instagram.com/paths_to_parenthub

Hayley’s Instagram page: www.instagram.com/dcp_journey_2_rp

Becky’s Instagram pages: https://www.instagram.com/definingmum

Disclosing to our children the truth about their conception story is now (thankfully) seen as practice within our communities - however, deciding who else to tell, whether other family members, friends or even our children’s school teacher or caregiver can be a more complex choice. 

In this episode Becky and Hayley talk about their own personal experiences of talking to others about how they built their families. The decision of who else to tell (and when) and how these conversations can differ depending on your family make up. During this episode Becky and Hayley’s offer some helpful tips and direct to resources that can help families navigate this topic with more confidence and support.

Links 

Links mentioned in the episode are:

Friends and Family/Supporting Your Loved One FREE resource 

https://pathstoparenthub.com/friends-and-family-resource-sign-up/

Donor Conception: Connecting Through Conversations London Event Tickets 

https://pathstoparenthub.com/friends-and-family-resource-sign-up/

Paths to Parenthub Membership details: 

https://pathstoparenthub.com

Paths to Parenthub LGBTQ+ Membership details: 

https://pathstoparenthub.com/lgbtq-paths-to-parenthub/

Paths to Parenthub Instagram 

page: www.instagram.com/paths_to_parenthub

Hayley’s Instagram page: www.instagram.com/dcp_journey_2_rp

Becky’s Instagram pages: https://www.instagram.com/definingmum

In this episode, Hayley and Becky discuss a topic that is currently in the media due to the new Netflix Documentary, 'The Man with 1000 Kids'. This has raised questions and discussions about a number of donor siblings and the differences between worldwide family limits and UK family limits. Hayley, with personal experience dealing with donor sibling groups both as a DCP and RP, is extremely knowledgeable about current practices and what intended parents need to know. Knowledge is power, which is why we've recorded this episode to help you understand what questions to ask your clinic/bank, the implications of larger sibling numbers and to dispel some of the misconceptions that may be out there, particularly in the UK. 

This is an important listen for anyone involved in donor conception - intended parents, recipient parents, and professionals - including those working in clinics/banks.

Thank you to our sponsors for this episode, Apricity Fertility - https://www.apricityfertility.com/uk

Join Paths to Parenthub:

Paths to Parenthub Membership details: https://pathstoparenthub.com

Paths to Parenthub LGBTQ+ Membership details: https://pathstoparenthub.com/lgbtq-paths-to-parenthub/

Follow us on Social Media:

Paths to Parenthub Instagram page: www.instagram.com/paths_to_parenthub

Hayley’s Instagram page: www.instagram.com/dcp_journey_2_rp

Becky’s Instagram pages: www.instagram.com/definingmum

Free resource mentioned in this episode: Top Questions to Ask Your Clinic/Bank - https://pathstoparenthub.com/top-questions-to-ask-about-donors/

Donor Siblings: Connect with Confidence 

https://pathstoparenthub.com/donor-sibling-course/

In this episode, Becky and Hayley dive into the topic of ‘Attachment and Bonding’, a complex subject that many parents of donor-conceived children are understandably concerned about. Questions such as ‘Will I bond with my child born through egg donation?’ or ‘How will I feel about my baby if we don’t share genetics?’ are all addressed in a compassionate and validating way, whilst also offering some practical advice around how to overcome these feelings. Becky and Hayley draw on their own lived experience as parents through donor conception to offer comfort to the listener, whilst simultaneously looking to the research on this fascinating topic to find some answers regarding this commonly held fear.

Have a listen to the Top Questions To Ask About Donors Episode here

Links of note that are mentioned during the episode:

Paths to Parenthub Membership details

Paths to Parenthub LGBTQ+ Membership details

Hayley’s Instagram page

Becky’s Instagram pages:

@definingmum

@paths_to_parenthub

Research mentioned in the episode:

Golombok, S (2011) Children conceived by gamete donation: Psychological adjustment and mother-child relationships at age 7.

Choosing a donor can feel like a huge and momentous decision, with lots of emotions involved, information to consider, and steps to take as you move towards becoming a parent through donor conception. Hayley and Becky talk about their own personal experiences of selecting their donors, the smaller decisions that led them to go ahead with their decisions, and how they feel as they reflect on their choices now. They chat about what they wished they'd have known, and consider the different types of donor options and matching processes, as well as the transparency and support they'd like to see more widely as an industry.

Links mentioned in the episode are:

Paths to Parenthub LIVE Summit 2024 - Tickets available here: https://pathstoparenthub.com/virtual-summit/

Paths to Parenthub Membership details: https://pathstoparenthub.com

Paths to Parenthub LGBTQ+ Membership details: https://pathstoparenthub.com/lgbtq-paths-to-parenthub/

Paths to Parenthub Instagram page: www.instagram.com/paths_to_parenthub

Hayley’s Instagram page: www.instagram.com/dcp_journey_2_rp

Becky’s Instagram pages: www.instagram.com/definingmum 

Early disclosure within donor-conceived families is thankfully now considered best practice, however, that doesn’t mean that the process of ‘telling’ is as easy as child’s play. In this episode, Becky and Hayley take a closer look into the practicalities of discussing conception stories with our donor-conceived children, whilst also exploring some of the complex emotions that may arise for parents when attempting this process. Becky and Hayley provide some helpful examples of how they have tackled these discussions and share some of their favourites children’s story books, tips, and resources that have helped their families along the way.

Links of note that are mentioned during the episode:

Paths to Parenthub LIVE Summit 2024  - Tickets available here: https://pathstoparenthub.com/virtual-summit/

Paths to Parenthub Membership details: https://members.definingmum.com 

Paths to Parenthub LGBTQ+ Membership details: https://members.definingmum.com/lgbtq-paths-to-parenthub/ 

Hayley’s Instagram page: www.instagram.com/dcp_journey_2_rp 

Becky’s Instagram pages: www.instagram.com/definingmum www.instagram.com/paths_to_parenthub 

Book Titles mentioned within the episode:

What Makes A Baby https://wwwcorysilverberg.com/

Happy Together  https://www.happytogetherchildrensbook.com/

We Are Family https://www.wearefamilybooks.co.uk/

My Donor Story https://www.mydonorstory.com/

Our Story https://www.dcnetwork.org/our-bookshop/

Robo Babies https://www.owletpress.com/product-page/robo-babies

Secret Code Inside of Me https://www.rajanilarocca.com/picture-books/the-secret-code-inside-you/

Research article mentioned in episode Telling donor-conceived children about their conception: Evaluation of the use of the Donor Conception Network children’s books. Harper, J et al (2022) https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2405661821000150

Managing feelings and emotions around ‘Genetic Loss’ can be a challenge for many parents who have used a donor to build their family. In this episode, Becky and Hayley take a deep dive into the complexities of the emotions surrounding genetic loss, how they can present themselves, and why it’s so important for us to validate and speak up about this often unspoken topic. 

During this episode Becky and Hayley discuss how Genetic Loss has personally impacted them, both as parents who do not share DNA with their children, and in Hayley’s case as a donor conceived person too. Both hosts offer reassurance, validation and practical advice about how to best tackle this nuanced topic - and also explore how an initial ‘loss’ has also brought about a significant ‘gain’ within their families. 

As always, we love to hear from you so do feel free to reach out to Hayley or Becky through Instagram, your comments and questions can help us shape future episodes, all designed to open up conversations that previously haven't been openly discussed.

Links of note that are mentioned during the episode:

Paths to Parenthub Membership details:

https://members.definingmum.com

Paths to Parenthub LGBTQ+ Membership details:

https://members.definingmum.com/lgbtq-paths-to-parenthub/

Hayley’s Instagram page:

www.instagram.com/dcp_journey_2_rp

Becky’s Instagram pages:

www.instagram.com/definingmum

www.instagram.com/paths_to_parenthub

Family by Co Article 

Handling Resemblance Talk 

 https://www.cofertility.com/family-learn/navigating-comments-about-your-donor-conceived-childs-resemblance-a-guide-to-responding

In a recent social media post Becky talked about 'acceptance' being key as a recipient parent through donor conception, specifically around accepting that there is another person who holds a 'parent' title in the scientific, genetic sense, as opposed to the day-to-day parenting role. This sparked a discussion within the comments thread, which is why Hayley and Becky decided to record a spontaneous podcast to discuss this further, with more content and nuance that this topic needs.

In this episode you'll hear our own thoughts and opinions, how we approach terminology with our kids, the thoughts of the community who generously shared their insights with us, and research into terminology from a survey of donor conceived individuals.

As always we love to hear from you so do feel free to reach out to Hayley or Becky through instagram, your comments and questions can help us shape future episodes, all designed to open up conversations that previously haven't been openly discussed.

Links of note that are mentioned during the episode:

Paths to Parenthub Membership details:

https://members.definingmum.com

Paths to Parenthub LGBTQ+ Membership details:

https://members.definingmum.com/lgbtq-paths-to-parenthub/

Hayley’s Instagram page:

www.instagram.com/dcp_journey_2_rp

Becky’s Instagram pages:

www.instagram.com/definingmum

www.instagram.com/paths_to_parenthub

Research Study by Donor Sibling Registry:

https://dsr-static-files.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/485cc3a945adcfb7