That dude from Patriot Party Podcast thinks that Trump is going to be "The King of the World" and that a quantum banker (?) is going to be the president. We listen to 3 or 4 of the best songs ever recorded and give commentary. Ever heard of X Hamster? We improvise a punk song, then we discover and discuss urethral sounding and cap it off with a voicemail for Reed and Casey's brother. Go ahead. Call the cops.

Matt's dad tells us about the time he and some of his friends were wrongly accused of robbing a bank and went to jail for a night. Lots of bizarre calls fill up the rest of the hour.

It turns out the word "tyranny" came from the Jurassic period, which makes sense in a whole lot of ways. We check in on the guy from Patriot Party Podcast and uncover his criminal past, we build up episode 69 even more, hinting at the flop it will likely become. We also discuss DOING YOUR OWN RESEARCH on multiplication tables, call a psychic about the fate of episode 69, and then have a couple of plumbers try to figure out who they're talking to.

Casey is at Laundry Fest 2021, so Freshwood and his manager call a furniture store to ask about rekindling the spirit of the 2007 Association of Woodworking & Furnishings Suppliers Convention with the whole gang (including Richard Karn aka Al Borland). Then we call a psychic who tells Matt to drop Freshwood from his management agency and sign Leroy Boots instead.

Jared is back for an official appearance.  The Fructis Boys discuss plans for the real episode 69, Matt's wet dream/laundry issues, we listen to Brendon Walsh call us a Bone Zone ripoff, and talk about Jared's future as a coachdad.  Then we call a couple of Italian food restaurants to get advice on how to microwave our pizza rolls in the face of an impending party.  Next up is a call to the chief pilot of a helicopter place. Then we call a plumber to help with the tuna that is swimming up through the toilet because they've invaded the water lines.

Matt gets called back about vocal lessons for his dad's father's day celebration, we revisit a shreddy tune about a weird Tinder date, we discuss eye contact between brothers, and we call a hotel to find out what a second cousin is. Then we talk about using baby powder for no reason and give Reed lessons on how to be raw and uncut 69 style. We find out that guitar shops don't know how to handle spy phrases, we air our grievances, and then listen to the absolute worst song in our immediate awareness. The episode ends with an original tune from Matt about syncopation being used to corrupt the youth.

Matt needs to be dressed up in a suit and fedora and be smoking a gentleman's pipe for his divorced dad's Father's Day ceremony, but he doesn't know what kind of flowers would be best suited for the event, so he calls a nice lady working at a flower shop to ask a bunch of questions. Next up the guys discuss pissing off neighbors by playing jarring progressive rock music while dinner and homework should be happening. Then Jared surprises us with a call and we loop him in with a casino to ask about slots and potential gigs for Leroy Boots and the Lost Ramblers. Closing out the episode is a call from Mazos Brason, who is a known homophobic racist, bigot, and religious zealot who we absolutely hate. He tries to convince us to play stupid music while making all kinds of passive aggressive statements before singing us a song and hanging up on us. Let it be known that we do not share any views or perspectives with Mazos, as he is about as much of a garbage human as they come.

Casey's got problems.  He constantly gets stared down by cashiers and customers when he doesn't use the checkout divider up at the register.  This happens even when there aren't enough people around to warrant its use.  Absolutely ridiculous.  Also, there were no clear cut directions when he bought the Seven Minute Kegels program in the mail, so his ass is basically sewn shut and he'll need a myriad of different devices to resolve the situation.  Then Matt calls a law office to get the ball rolling on a civil suit against Seven Minute Kegels.

This is a break from your normally scheduled urethra-based humor and surrealist prank calls. Wait, no it isn't. Urethras are mentioned and this whole episode is one long prank call. However, the victim of the call works in a call center which is actually a hub for scamming folks out hundreds of millions of dollars per year. There is an active community which publishes the phone numbers they use and tries to expose these scammers. The call begins as a standard troll of these guys, and through dialogue it turned into an interview which gives an in depth look at what this man's life is like. It's not what I expected at all and even though I don't agree with what this guy does for a living, mutual understanding was shown at the end of the call. We should make documentaries.

-Matt

Brief overview of the scam: https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/blog/202...

Scam baiting channel which hacks into the scammers' networks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oI3Iq...

The place which publishes scammers' numbers: https://bobrtc.tel/

We kick it off with beatboxing, and THEN John McAffee stories, a tune from Gaping dad, a couple of calls to casinos about famous Jack Dagnalls Taco Bell Fire Sauce, stealing managers' jobs, aliens from the future, a good ol' prayer about sourcing the beef/double dipping, and another landmark performance of Mighty Are We.