Pause Purpose Play

By Michaela ThomasBusiness Entrepreneurship Health & Fitness Mental Health Education Self-Improvement

Pause Purpose Play episodes

March 04Problem solver or problem creator? The ADHD Paradox
Many ADHD leaders are brilliant in a crisis.
Quick thinking. Pattern spotting. Calm under pressure.
But what if the same brain that thrives in urgency is also quietly creating it?

In this episode, Michaela explores:
Why ADHD nervous systems light up in chaos
The link between dysregulation and “micro-mistakes”
Shame loops around small accidents
The difference between responsibility and self-attack
Why slowing down sharpens your leadership rather than softening it
If you’re tired of constantly fixing fires - this conversation will help.
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18 min
February 26Under performing at work, or neurodivergence
Are you under performing… or are you under-supported?
In this episode, I reflect on delivering neurodivergence training to managers and unpack a powerful workplace question: when someone isn’t meeting expectations, is it capability — or context?

Through a compassion-focused lens, we explore:
The difference between equality and equity
Why clarity around feedback and expectations matters deeply
How rejection sensitivity can distort workplace communication
Why ADHD is an explanation, not an excuse
The shame–overwork–burnout cycle many high achievers fall into
How psychological safety improves performance for everyone
Neurodivergent performance may not look neurotypical — and that doesn’t make it wrong.
Whether you're a leader supporting staff or someone quietly masking and overworking to hide your struggles, this episode invites a shift: from blame to curiosity, from fear to compassion.

Want to build a more neuroinclusive workplace?
I deliver talks and training across the UK on neurodivergence, psychological safety and compassionate leadership.

Connect with me:
LinkedIn
Website

Let’s help your people thrive — not just survive.
19 min
February 19Emotionally Based School Avoidance (EBSA), with Carolyne Keenan
When a child can’t get into school, it’s often labelled as “refusal”.
But what if it’s not won’t… it’s can’t?

In this episode, I’m joined by psychologist Dr Carolyne Keenan to unpack Emotion-Based School Avoidance (EBSA) — what it really is, what it isn’t, and how parents can navigate this incredibly complex space with compassion.

In this episode, we cover:
What EBSA actually means (and why it’s not about defiance or manipulation)
The difference between “won’t” and “can’t”
Early signs to look out for (tummy aches, shutdown, irritability, “fizzing” bodies)
Why children often seem fine at weekends or in holidays
Burnout in children — and why “push through” can backfire
The emotional toll on parents (work pressure, guilt, exhaustion)
Why making home “less fun” is not the answer
The tension between attendance targets and emotional safety
How to respond in the early stages to prevent escalation
The spectrum of EBSA — from subject-specific avoidance to full shutdown
Practical ways to seek support (schools, councils, local offers)
Why education is not one single narrow path
Key reminder
If reassurance alone fixed this, EBSA wouldn’t exist.
Sometimes the bravest parenting move is softening, pausing, and prioritising safety over forcing attendance.

About Dr Carolyne Keenan
Carolyne is a Registered Counselling Psychologist specialising in anxiety, family stress, and Emotion-Based School Avoidance. She offers 1:1 support, consultations, and runs a 12-week programme for parents called Survive EBSA.

Carolyne's website: www.carolynekeenan.co.uk

If this episode resonates, please share it with a parent who needs to hear:
It’s not defiance. It’s distress.
52 min
February 12Six “healthy” wellness habits on social media — A psychologist's reframe
A Therapist’s Reframe on Six “Healthy” Wellness Habits on Social Media
Many wellness habits shared online are well-intentioned. But when taken to extremes, they can quietly feed pressure, perfectionism and burnout.
In this solo episode of Pause Purpose Play, Clinical Psychologist Michaela Thomas offers a gentle therapist’s reframe on six “healthy” wellness habits often promoted on social media - not as a takedown of influencers, but as an invitation to explore with what actually supports psychological health in an evidence-based way.

In this episode, Michaela explores:
Why constant optimisation keeps us stuck in performance mode
The myth that being “regulated” means always being calm
How overfunctioning gets mistaken for resilience
When self-care tips into self-absorption
The difference between assertiveness and aggression when setting boundaries
Why attacking your inner critic often backfires
This episode is for anyone who’s doing all the “right” things — yet still feels exhausted.

✨ Ready to step out of performance mode?
If this resonated, you’re invited to The Reset — a short, therapist-led nervous system reset as a mini-course you do on your own, designed to help you slow down, soften, and create steadiness without self-criticism.
👉 www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/reset
21 min
February 05ADHD Nutrition Without the All-or-Nothing, with Dr Miguel Toribio-Mateas
What if “eating well for ADHD” isn’t another set of rules - but a way to support your nervous system, mood and focus with more self-trust and less perfectionism?
In this episode, Michaela chats with clinical neuroscientist and nutrition researcher Dr Miguel Toribio-Mateas about the gut–brain axis, why food matters for ADHD (without turning it into a restrictive fixation), and how self-care for ADHD is more about regulation than optimisation.
You’ll hear about:
Why nutrition impacts ADHD (building blocks, blood sugar, hydration, cravings)
The gut–brain–nervous system link (and why ADHD isn’t “just in the brain”)
Why perfectionism + restriction can make ADHD symptoms worse, not better
Practical, ADHD-friendly approaches: good-enough meals, shortcuts, and flavour “dopamine”
The permission slip: you can be ADHD AF and still feel fabulous
About Dr Miguel
Dr Miguel Toribio-Mateas is a clinical neuroscientist, applied microbiologist and nutrition researcher specialising in nutritional psychiatry and the gut–brain axis. He’s the author of the upcoming book ADHD: Brain, Body & Mind.
Want a calmer, steadier nervous system — without forcing yourself into rigid routines?

Join the Reset here: www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/reset
1 hr 3 min
January 29Patriarchal pressure, perfectionism, and male allyship, with Lee Chambers
If you’re an ADHD or neurodivergent woman, the pressure to be “acceptable” can feel relentless: capable but not chaotic, confident but not difficult, adaptable but not too much. This episode explores why patriarchy amplifies perfectionism for neurodivergent women - and how real male allyship can help reduce that pressure.

One for your partner to listen to!
Episode overview
I’m joined by Lee Chambers, founder of Male Allies UK, to talk about what authentic male allyship actually looks like — beyond performative support or social media statements.
We discuss:
Why perfectionism becomes a survival strategy for ADHD women
How patriarchal norms punish difference and reward masking
The invisible load of caregiving and emotional labour
How men can be allies without centring themselves or creating more work for women
Why this matters
Patriarchy doesn’t just disadvantage women - it narrows who we’re allowed to be. For neurodivergent women, that narrowing is sharper, harsher, and more exhausting.
Reset
If this conversation stirred something, tiredness, recognition, or that familiar “oh… it’s not just me”, you might benefit from Reset, my gentle, science-informed experience for women who are burning out from trying to hold it all together.

It’s a chance to pause, soothe your nervous system, and reconnect with yourself - without needing to fix or improve anything first.
www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/reset
1 hr 3 min
January 22What your partner needs to know about ADHD
If you've been diagnosed with ADHD, and your partner wants to know how to better support you - this episode is for you. If ADHD is creating tension, misunderstandings, or repeated arguments in your relationship - this episode is also for you.

In this solo episode, Clinical Psychologist Michaela Thomas shares what she would want a partner to understand if they were sitting together in the therapy room. This episode isn’t about excuses or blame. It’s about understanding how ADHD affects nervous systems, emotions, communication, and relationships — and what actually helps, rather than makes things worse.

In this episode, we explore:
Why ADHD is not an excuse, but is an explanation
Why “trying harder” often leads to more shame and burnout, not change
What happens when someone with ADHD is stuck in rumination or emotional collapse
Why logic and reassurance don’t land when the nervous system is dysregulated
Rejection sensitivity (RSD) and how tone, silence, and facial expressions can be misread
How past relational wounds can be triggered in the present
The common “parent–child” dynamic that can develop in ADHD relationships
How to support your partner without taking over or eroding their agency
A free resource for couples
If this episode resonated, Michaela has created a free guide called Balance Your Relationship.
It’s designed to help couples step out of blame and back into understanding — with compassion for both partners.

Download the free guide here:
http://thethomasconnection.co.uk/relationshipbalance/
19 min
January 15 Drug free ADHD, with Joseph Pack
In this episode of the Pause Purpose Play podcast, host Michaela Thomas welcomes Joseph Pack who discusses strategies for managing ADHD without medication.
Joseph, founder of 'Drug-Free ADHD,' shares his journey of overcoming ADHD by focusing on lifestyle changes instead of medication. The conversation delves into various approaches, including breath work, cold and hot water exposure, diet adjustments, movement, and the critical importance of quality sleep.
Joseph and Michaela emphasise that these methods are not meant to replace medication but to offer alternative solutions for those who cannot or choose not to use medication. The episode concludes by highlighting the need for a nuanced and individualised approach to ADHD management.
Connect with Joseph:
Website: www.drugfreeadhd.org
Instagram: www.instagram.com/josephpackcom/
50 min
January 08 Why Busy Brains Burn Out: Matt Buff on Purpose, Pressure and Building Get Dopa
In this episode of the Pauses Purpose Play podcast, host Michaela Thomas speaks with Matt Buff, founder of the wellbeing and supplement brand Get Dopa. They discuss Matt’s journey through understanding and managing his ADHD, overcoming perfectionism, and the importance of self-compassion. Matt shares his experience of burning out in a high-pressure corporate job, discovering his ADHD, and subsequently creating a brand to support busy minds. The conversation highlights the importance of integrating pauses, purpose, and play into one’s life, maintaining self-awareness, the role of supplements in enhancing daily function, and the significance of building a balanced and fulfilling life. Listeners are encouraged to embrace their strengths and practice self-compassion, creating a life that suits their unique needs.
41 min
January 01 Why “New Year, New Me” resolutions don't work for ADHD women
In this episode of the Pause Purpose Play podcast, clinical psychologist Michaela Thomas discusses the pressure and myths surrounding the 'New Year, New Me' mentality. Michaela advocates for setting compassionate, intention-driven goals instead of rigid, outcome-based resolutions which can often lead to self-criticism and burnout. She explains the importance of being gentle and realistic, especially for neurodivergent individuals, and suggests focusing on manageable, long-term changes. Michaela also introduces her online course, the Compassionate Couple, and shares a special discount offer in honor of her birthday.
17 min

About Pause Purpose Play

From the publisher's feed

Imagine if you could follow your ambition without drowning in it – how much more fulfilling life would be? That’s what Pause Purpose Play is all about – finding balance over burnout by setting you free from needing to be perfect, so that you can take action and get started with what matters to you, instead of getting stuck in procrastination and holding yourself back with self-limiting beliefs your inner critic tells you.

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Pause Purpose Play episodes

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