Peace Meal

Episode description:

In this episode of Peace Meal, guest Avery Mock discusses how a goal to “get healthy” spiraled into an obsession with food and exercise that led to anorexia. He describes how he was a different person at the height of his eating disorder, burning bridges with the closest people around him. Thankfully, Avery was able to get into treatment to start his journey to recovery. Structure and support have been key to protecting his mental and physical health, he says. In recovery, he has learned that food doesn't need to take up so much space in his brain and that clothing size does not define his worth. Now he doesn’t need—or want—to change his body to be happy. Avery ends the episode by giving advice to those struggling with eating disorders, encouraging them to accept recovery. 

Avery is an anorexia survivor and mental health advocate dedicated to helping people recognize the warning signs of eating disorders and help others in recovery.

We cover:

The damaging impact of eating disorders on relationships, and the value of rebuilding these relationships in recovery

How recovery can make you realize that there is so much more to life than the food you eat

The importance of routine and stability in recovery

How the size of your clothing doesn’t define your worth

Why setbacks are normal in eating disorder recovery, as well as strategies for how to handle them

In Avery’s words:

On letting go of an eating disorder: “It can be hard to want to learn how to control [your eating disorder] when it’s been in your life for so long. Learning how to accept the fact that it does need to be controlled is really, really difficult, but I don’t regret in the slightest ever going to Veritas.”

On the value of an everyday routine: “The biggest pillar for me is… daily structure… Waking up, doing something, and then going to bed is a big part of what kind of fuels a steady and stable recovery for me.”

On shopping with an eating disorder vs. shopping in recovery: “Usually, back in my eating disorder, I would think, “What size do I want to have?” and now it’s like, “Well, what size do I need?”... I’ve gotten to a point to where I just don’t care what size I am. I’m a healthy size, that’s all that matters.”

Learn more about The Emily Program online or by calling 1-888-364-5977. 

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About the podcast:

Peace Meal is a podcast hosted by The Emily Program and Veritas Collaborative that covers topics related to eating disorders, body image, and how society may influence our thinking.

You can find Peace Meal on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Google Podcasts. If you enjoy our show, please rate, review, subscribe, and tell your friends!

Are you interested in being a guest on Peace Meal? Email [email protected] for more information.

Episode description:

In this episode of Peace Meal, Rachael Steil shares her past struggles with anorexia and binge eating and her current passion for helping athletes with eating disorders. Rachael loved running from a young age, but the drive she felt to improve in her sport contributed to restrictive eating behaviors. She says she became obsessed with food and started pulling away from her friends and hobbies. Once Rachael started her recovery journey, she received incredible support from her college running coach. Reflecting on this experience, Rachael explains the essential role that coaches can have on their athletes' lives and the importance of educating coaches on eating disorder warning signs. Rachael ends the podcast with the inspiration for creating her memoir Running in Silence and her nonprofit of the same name and previews the topic of her next book. 

Rachael Steil is an eating disorder recovery advocate and the author of Running in Silence, which details her story as an All-American athlete struggling with anorexia and binge eating. She is also the founder of the Running in Silence nonprofit to break misconceptions and raise awareness for eating disorders in sports, serves on the board of the Michigan Eating Disorder Alliance, and is currently a mentor for the USTFCCCA Female Coaches Mentorship Program. 

We cover:

How participating in sports that emphasize leanness, like running, can be a factor in the development of eating disorders

How eating disorders can affect people in and outside of sport and cause them to pull away from their friends, family, and interests

How opening up about your eating disorder can make you feel like your authentic self

The role coaches can play in the lives of athletes suffering or recovering from an eating disorder

Why it is so vital that coaches get training on how to spot the signs of an eating disorder and what to do if they spot them

In Rachael’s words:

On the impact of her eating disorder: “It affected me in so many other areas besides my weight. I was getting very withdrawn. I was barely hanging out with my friends. I was constantly thinking about food. I was starting to count calories, and pulling away from everything else that I loved in my life… I didn’t realize it was partly because I was restricting food; I thought I was finally doing something right.”

On prioritizing health over performance in sport: “[My coach] said, ‘You don’t have to be fast, you have to be healthy.’”

On the important role of the coach: “It’s so important to know your athletes well and to develop this relationship with them because you are one of the first people that’s going to be able to recognize when there are behavior changes.”

If you would like to read the blog mentioned in the episode, “For Coaches, Approaching an Athlete with an Eating Disorder: Q&A with Dr. Paula Quatromoni,” you can find that here. Learn more about Rachael’s nonprofit by signing up for the Running in Silence newsletter and find Rachael’s book, Running in Silence, here.

Learn more about The Emily Program online or by calling 1-888-364-5977. 

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About the podcast:

Peace Meal is a podcast hosted by The Emily Program and Veritas Collaborative that covers topics related to eating disorders, body image, and how society may influence our thinking.

You can find Peace Meal on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Google Podcasts. If you enjoy our show, please rate, review, subscribe, and tell your friends!

Are you interested in being a guest on Peace Meal? Email [email protected] for more information.

Episode description:

In this episode of Peace Meal, Eric Pothen discusses how well-meaning comments about his body played a part in the development of his eating disorder. Following the body commentary he received after college, he says he started restricting, bingeing, and purging via excessive exercise. Eventually exhausted by the darkness he was living in and the feeling of losing himself, he set out on a path to recovery. He explains how preparing for a marathon helped his recovery because he had to focus on nourishing his body to prepare for the race. He also tells us how affirmations played an integral role in his recovery. Eric ends the podcast by explaining that recovery not only gives you freedom from your eating disorder, but also helps you rediscover and love yourself.

A middle school choir teacher in Albertville, MN, Eric struggled with an eating disorder for several years. Today, he uses his previous struggles of having an eating disorder as his strength to raise awareness and serve as an advocate for those who struggle with these illnesses, disordered eating, or body image. Eric is the owner and founder of the apparel company Embrace Wear, whose mission is to help others learn how to embrace themselves and discover beauty and self-worth within. He recently launched a podcast of his own, Embracing You, which is now available on Apple Podcasts.  

We cover:

How body-related comments can be a major risk factor in the development of an eating disorder

How the concerns of loved ones can have a huge impact on realizing that you need help

Why you have to do what works for you in recovery, regardless of what works for others

The power of affirmations in the recovery process

How recovery can help you find yourself again

In Eric’s words:

On recovery: “It’s going to be trial and error. You’re going to have to find things that maybe work for you and not another person. And be okay with knowing, “This is exactly where I need to be. This is exactly what I need to be doing. This is MY recovery and I get to navigate that myself—of course with the support of others, hopefully, along the way.”

On the power of affirmations: “That was truly such a beautiful part of the process for me… As I was in this space of recovery, I was finding myself again. I was seeing the old parts of Eric that had been lost for so long. And that was really through those affirmations.”

On why recovery is worth it: “You are so worth it. And it’s a challenging road ahead, I’m not going to lie, but you need to remember that you are the most important person in your life…. and you are worth all of the hard work. You are worth those really difficult moments to get yourself to a space where you can really rediscover the love that you have for yourself—a space where you feel more free, more connected to yourself, and ultimately, a space where you can live your life and just be.”

Learn more about The Emily Program online or by calling 1-888-364-5977. 

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About the podcast:

Peace Meal is a podcast hosted by The Emily Program and Veritas Collaborative that covers topics related to eating disorders, body image, and how society may influence our thinking.

You can find Peace Meal on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Google Podcasts. If you enjoy our show, please rate, review, subscribe, and tell your friends!

Are you interested in being a guest on Peace Meal? Email [email protected] for more information.

Episode description:

In this episode of Peace Meal, Dr. Jaime Taylor and Nayiri Khatchadourian discuss their study on physicians’ knowledge about disordered eating in patients with diabetes. Through their study, they found that many physicians feel that they do not have the resources to help patients who show signs of disordered eating. They also describe warning signs of disordered eating to look for in patients with diabetes, as well as some serious health complications that may occur in patients with an eating disorder and diabetes. They end the conversation by emphasizing the importance of spreading awareness about the elevated eating disorder risk for those with diabetes, as well as highlighting the fact that weight does not determine health.

Dr. Jaime Taylor is the Director of Adolescent Medicine at Beaumont Children’s and is the Medical Director of the Hough Center for Adolescent Health. She is dedicated to the health and wellbeing of adolescents and is passionate about teaching on that subject as an Assistant Professor at Oakland University - William Beaumont School of Medicine. Nayiri Khatchadourian is currently a third-year medical student at Oakland University - William Beaumont School of Medicine. Her passion for advocating for mental health along with nutrition and wellness stemmed from her personal journey and struggles throughout her adolescent years. 

We cover:

The importance of assessing physicians’ knowledge of disordered eating in patients with diabetes 

Why having type 1 diabetes is a risk factor for developing an eating disorder and why having both conditions can be an extremely dangerous combination 

How doctors are more likely to ask their patients questions about disordered eating if they feel they have the resources to help

Warning signs of eating disorders to look out for when treating patients with diabetes, as well as the potential health complications when these co-occurring illnesses are not managed properly

The importance of spreading awareness, not only to physicians but to everyone, that weight does not determine the health of an individual

In their words:

Nayiri on the results of their survey: “Of the people who responded, 97% of the physicians were endocrinologists…58.8% of them reported not having received any education about identifying and assessing for disordered eating among patients diagnosed with diabetes during or after their professional training. 68% identify that they didn’t believe they had the tools or resources available to assist a patient with disordered eating behavior.”

Dr. Taylor on discussing body image with patients with diabetes: “It’s okay to talk about body image, it’s okay to talk about discomfort in body or changes in body. If we talk about it, then there’s a way for us to understand it better. And sometimes it’s just the fear of not knowing, ‘Why is my body changing?’ or ‘Why is it changing in this way?’”

Dr. Taylor on what health means to her and her team: “It’s about balance and variety and feeding your mind and your body and your soul in whatever way that is and really embracing that everything fits. It doesn’t matter if you have diabetes, it doesn’t matter if you have disordered eating, you can find a way to make all of these things fit and work for you.”

Learn more about The Emily Program online or by calling 1-888-364-5977. 

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About the podcast:

Peace Meal is a podcast hosted by The Emily Program and Veritas Collaborative that covers topics related to eating disorders, body image, and how society may influence our thinking.

You can find Peace Meal on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Google Podcasts. If you enjoy our show, please rate, review, subscribe, and tell your friends!

Are you interested in being a guest on Peace Meal? Email [email protected] for more information.

Episode description:

Kateri Anderson Heymans is a woman from Minnesota who works remotely and lives her dream of traveling the world. After years of struggling with anorexia and binge eating disorder, she has found freedom from the illnesses that once consumed her life. Since Kateri was 17, she has practiced a type of meditation called the Isha Judd System, taught by the Isha Educating for Peace Foundation. She now teaches this method of meditation and supports others on their journey, taking whatever opportunity she can to share with others the tools and insight that transformed her life.

In this episode of Peace Meal, Kateri discusses her history of anorexia and binge eating disorder, including the isolation and misery these eating disorders caused. She tells us about her journey to finding a meditation practice that positively changed her recovery and life. Through meditation, Kateri was able to gain the self-love and compassion that she so desperately needed, as well as overcome anxiety, depression, and grief from the loss of her mother. Kateri encourages everyone to give themselves the love and grace they deserve and ends the episode with a powerful meditation. 

We cover:

How isolating and miserable it can be to suffer with an eating disorder

How eating disorder behaviors might function as a maladaptive coping mechanism to deal with uncomfortable emotions

How meditation can aid in eating disorder recovery, as well as help to manage co-occurring conditions like anxiety and depression

How meditation can be challenging for those with an eating disorder, who often feel disconnected from their bodies 

The power of self-compassion and self-love, especially during recovery

In Kateri’s words:

On the role of meditation in eating disorder recovery: “It helped me to live as fully as I possibly could within the recovery process.”

On the importance of giving yourself grace: “When we, in our mind, punish ourselves or judge ourselves for doing something, the behavior will continue. But when we’re loving and compassionate and kind and treat ourselves like a kid who is learning how to walk… the process will not only be a little bit less miserable, but I found in my experience that symptoms actually, little by little, started to lose their power.”

On self-love during recovery: “Be loving with yourself where you are in this moment. No matter where you are in your life, in this moment, you deserve love… No matter if you’ve recovered, if you’re just starting… your worthiness of love does not change. So be kind and gentle with yourself as you are in this moment."

Learn more about The Emily Program online or by calling 1-888-364-5977.

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About the podcast:

Peace Meal is a podcast hosted by The Emily Program and Veritas Collaborative that covers topics related to eating disorders, body image, and how society may influence our thinking.

You can find Peace Meal on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Google Podcasts. If you enjoy our show, please rate, review, subscribe, and tell your friends!

Are you interested in being a guest on Peace Meal? Email [email protected] for more information.

Episode description: 

Nichole Soltis recently earned her master’s degree from The University of Akron and is now a licensed therapist in the state of Ohio. A long-time figure skater, she will be competing at her second Adult National Championships this month. She has a passion for eating disorders and their impact on athletes, and she hopes to use her platform to spread awareness, support others, and start the conversation about eating disorders and sports. 

In this episode of Peace Meal, Nichole discusses how her passion for figure skating played a role in the development and maintenance of her eating disorder, as well as how she was able to get back on the ice after treatment. Delving first into the complicated relationship between aesthetic sports and eating disorders, she shares how restricting her food did not improve her skating performance in the way her eating disorder promised it would. Instead, it negatively affected not just her sport, but also her physical and mental health. Through recovery, Nichole learned that nourishing her body and working on her technique was the best thing for her skating performance. Now as a therapist passionate about supporting athletes, she encourages all coaches to get their athletes professional help if they notice the warning signs of an eating disorder. Nicole ends the conversation by assuring any athletes struggling with an eating disorder that getting help can mean enjoying life, food, and their sport once again. 

We cover:

The impact aesthetic sports can have on body image

How the stigma surrounding eating disorders can make it more difficult to seek help

How nourishing your body is the best thing you can do to be successful in your sport

The unique role of coaches in the lives of athletes 

The importance of taking care of your mind and body

In Nichole’s words: 

On the stigma surrounding eating disorders: “Everybody’s okay with any body part breaking down except our brains… The stigma is still around and it impacts us definitely.”

On improving athletic performance in a healthy way: “I focus more on technique now as opposed to my body composition… I really think it’s important to focus on… changing that technique and adjusting it, as opposed to changing and adjusting your body.”

On life in recovery: “You can still enjoy your life and enjoy food and enjoy your sport as well… You really do need to make sure that you’re taking care of your whole self… your mind, body, your soul.”

Learn more about The Emily Program online or by calling 1-888-364-5977. 

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About the podcast:

Peace Meal is a podcast hosted by The Emily Program and Veritas Collaborative that covers topics related to eating disorders, body image, and how society may influence our thinking.

You can find Peace Meal on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Google Podcasts. If you enjoy our show, please rate, review, subscribe, and tell your friends!

Are you interested in being a guest on Peace Meal? Email [email protected] for more information.

Episode description: 

Heidi Andersen is a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor Supervisor, Certified Eating Disorder Specialist Supervisor, Registered Yoga Teacher, and Embodiment Specialist. She has worked with people struggling with eating disorders as a therapist in residential, PHP, IOP, and outpatient levels of care. She currently maintains an outpatient group practice of body-centered psychotherapists specializing in weight-inclusive treatment for the intersection of trauma, attachment wounds, and eating disorders through an anti-oppression lens and somatic approach.

In this episode of Peace Meal, we explore the concept of embodiment and how it relates to eating disorders and recovery. Heidi covers the reasons we can become disembodied, as well as different ways we can work toward reconnecting with our body. Heidi also dives into how important it is for healthcare providers who help others with their embodiment to work on their own. She offers yoga as one tool in increasing embodiment, and it is a practice she finds especially valuable to ground herself on bad body image days. Recognizing that embodiment can often feel unsafe for people who are not in white, straight-sized bodies, Heidi hopes for a future where embodiment is more accessible for all.

We cover: 

The definition of embodiment and reasons why disembodiment can occur

How we can start to be more present in our bodies 

What healthcare providers can do to help progress their own embodiment

How yoga can aid the process of embodiment and eating disorder recovery

How body changes during recovery are normal and how to show yourself compassion if your body changes

Why embodiment is not as accessible or safe to those who aren’t white and straight-sized

In Heidi’s words: 

On the true meaning of embodiment: “Embodiment is really about learning to experience ourselves from the inside out and experience life from that place, rather than the, ‘How am I being perceived as I’m doing this?’ 

On the impact of society on disembodiment:  “We live in a society that has prejudice and oppression… We live in a society where we’re still being told that one kind of body is preferred, and so as long as that’s happening, as long as it feels dangerous to be in different sized bodies, that’s gonna impact our embodiment.”

On the accessibility of embodiment: “Embodiment is definitely a key in recovery, but it is not as accessible to everybody. People that inhabit marginalized identities, it is less safe to be embodied. I think that is an important thing as a provider to understand is that, embodiment can feel like something that white, straight-sized people get to enjoy that marginalized identities can’t necessarily enjoy… Embodiment and safety in your body is a privilege.”

Visit Heidi’s website, reclaimingbeauty.com, to purchase The Reclaiming Beauty Journal and Wisdom Deck, read her blog, and more, and follow her on Instagram (@reclaimingbeauty).

Learn more about The Emily Program online or by calling 1-888-364-5977. 

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About the podcast:

Peace Meal is a podcast hosted by The Emily Program and Veritas Collaborative that covers topics related to eating disorders, body image, and how society may influence our thinking.

You can find Peace Meal on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Google Podcasts. If you enjoy our show, please rate, review, subscribe, and tell your friends!

Are you interested in being a guest on Peace Meal? Email [email protected] for more information.

Episode description: 

Erin Werner is a mental health administrator, student, makeup artist, and ordained minister who enjoys being present with her family, cooking, and baking. In this episode of Peace Meal, she shares her eating disorder experience, including the factors that contributed to her illness, her process of seeking help, and the power of mindful self-compassion in her recovery.

Erin recounts her struggle with multiple eating disorders, illnesses that were characterized by bingeing, restricting, and purging throughout her adolescence and into her 20s. She then explains how, with the help of her parents, she started therapy and learned to identify the factors and co-occurring issues that were masking and influencing these conditions. Over time and with professional help, she learned the skill of mindful self-compassion, which was critical to her recovery. She shares how she has developed better coping mechanisms through the practice of self-compassion and overall feels more at peace with herself, her body, and food. In addition to finding a passion for cooking, she can now see food for what it is, fuel for the body. 

We cover:

How an untreated eating disorder can escalate through the years

How therapy can help in identifying and working through past issues

How self-kindness, not self-criticism, can be motivating in recovery and many aspects of life

How comments about weight and body can inadvertently encourage disordered behaviors

How learning to cook can help you connect with food

In Erin’s words:

On recovery: “I wish I realized sooner that you don’t have to recover alone.”

On practicing mindful self-compassion: “When you are coming from a place of such low worth and guilt and shame, and you're almost at war with yourself, the idea of being kind to yourself is so unbelievably hard.”

On learning to be nicer to yourself: “You have nothing to lose just trying to be as nice to yourself as you would to your best friend or partner or anyone else you care about. Try to turn some of that loving self-awareness to you.”

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About the podcast:

Peace Meal is a podcast hosted by The Emily Program and Veritas Collaborative that covers topics related to eating disorders, body image, and how society may influence our thinking.

You can find Peace Meal on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Google Podcasts. If you enjoy our show, please rate, review, subscribe, and tell your friends!

Are you interested in being a guest on Peace Meal? Email [email protected] for more information.

Episode description: 

Jason Wood combined his therapeutic love of writing with his mission to break the stigma around men’s mental health and eating disorders by launching orthorexiabites.com in 2021. His first book, a memoir titled Starving for Survival, is out now.

In this episode of Peace Meal, Jason discusses how weight-based bullying, the loss of his parents, and a cancer scare all contributed to the development of his eating disorder. He reflects on how the praise he received after weight loss in his early teens led him to believe that diet and exercise were something that made him “good” in the eyes of others. Then, he explains, a cancer scare led him to dieting and “clean eating” in an attempt to prevent cancer—the illness that took both of his parents. Jason experienced weight loss and was once again praised by friends and healthcare providers, suggesting that he was on the right track. In reality, however, an obsession with “clean eating” was consuming his life. Jason wants to share his story so that other men and boys know that they are not alone in their struggle with an eating disorder. 

We cover:

How bullying can affect body image from a young age

How our culture praises weight loss and extreme dieting, which can reinforce disordered behaviors

The power of a diagnosis

How writing and sharing your story can help you find a community of people who understand what you’re going through

How toxic masculinity can prevent men from getting the mental health help they need

In Jason’s words:

On sharing his story: “As a guy battling an eating disorder, I needed to get out there and I needed to share my story because there’s not enough men who talk about it. As someone who’s battling orthorexia, there’s not many people talking about it, I needed to get out there and change that as well.”

On his relationship with food during his eating disorder: “There is nothing wrong with wanting to have a ‘healthy’ lifestyle… But then there’s individuals like myself when it goes too far… where suddenly, I’m no longer consuming food, food’s consuming me.”

On how his definition of a “healthy lifestyle” has changed: “I was pursuing just physical health… I underestimated the power of mental health… social health… emotional health… Now I realize that there is a lot more to a ‘healthy lifestyle’ than just worrying about what you eat or how much you exercise.”

You can purchase Jason’s book, Starving for Survival, through Amazon, his website, and more! You can also follow Jason on Instagram (@mentalstormwarning).

Learn more about The Emily Program online or by calling 1-888-364-5977.

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About the podcast:

Peace Meal is a podcast hosted by The Emily Program and Veritas Collaborative that covers topics related to eating disorders, body image, and how society may influence our thinking.

You can find Peace Meal on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Google Podcasts. If you enjoy our show, please rate, review, subscribe, and tell your friends!

Are you interested in being a guest on Peace Meal? Email [email protected] for more information.

Katie Whipple is a Certified Public Accountant who co-led a $7 billion business deal as the youngest and only female on her team. After moving from New York to Indiana, she now participates in community involvement through Junior Achievement, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, and her own podcast “Cup of Common Grounds.” Five years into her recovery, and after a seven-year hiatus, Katie decided to return to pageantry and will be competing for Miss Indiana USA in April.

In this episode of Peace Meal, Katie explores the factors that led to the development and worsening of her eating disorder, as well as those that now keep her strong in recovery. As a home-schooled Christian who grew up in purity culture, she says she was unaccustomed to the cultural and social pressures she encountered at college. The dramatic transition triggered her eating concerns, as well as a feeling that she was living a double life: a high achiever confidently facing business partners and pageantry judges in public, but struggling in private. In recovery, Katie has learned to find worth beyond her appearance and better name her emotions, a skill that has deepened her relationships with family and friends. She has also been able to reignite a passion that provided self-confidence and self-development when she was younger, pageantry. Acknowledging that pageantry can be a significant trigger for those with eating disorders, Katie shares how she protects her recovery while doing what she loves. 

We cover:

How naming emotions can be therapeutic

How pageantry can contribute to an obsession with appearances in those susceptible 

How loss can bring a family closer together

How being open about your eating disorder can you bring you closer to others

How to do what you love while putting your recovery first

In Katie’s words: 

On the fear of giving up her eating disorder: “‘If I give up control of my eating disorder, I’m not worthy enough, I’m not going to be enough’…And that was a scary thought that went through my brain.”

On not letting her eating disorder win: “I realized that I was fearing the fear that I was not enough and I realized I was holding myself back from life. I was putting my life on pause because I was afraid of triggering something.” 

On worth beyond appearances: “My worth is not defined by how my body looks, it’s on how I feel about me.”

About the podcast:

Peace Meal is a podcast hosted by The Emily Program and Veritas Collaborative that covers topics related to eating disorders, body image, and how society may influence our thinking.

You can find Peace Meal on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Google Podcasts. If you enjoy our show, please rate, review, subscribe, and tell your friends!

Are you interested in being a guest on Peace Meal? Email [email protected] for more information.