Perfectionism Rewired

White knuckling your way through dumpster fires + stacked deadlines might *seem impressive* but underneath constantly second-guessing yourself, obsessively counting of how much you accomplished while beating yourself up — are hidden costs eating away at your efficiency (and overall ability to enjoy the life you’ve worked so hard to create). This episode names what you couldn’t explain...until now.

•  The Impact & Intention Framework Ep. 171
• Finding Your Compelling Why’s Ep. 174
• Asking High Quality Questions Ep. 231
• Giving Yourself Validation Ep. 237
• Having Impeccable Boundaries 239
• Being A Curious Scientist Instead Of The Judge Ep. 208
• Using Your Mood Meter Ep. 254
• Understanding Your Person Account Ep. 252
• Measuring Your Person Account Ep.253
• Identifying Perfectionist Prediction Loops Ep. 250
• Popping Up In Perfectionistic Brain Ep. 249
• Deliberate Disruption The Calibration

00:00–Striving for excellence in a dumpster fire  while white knuckling

01:59-Definition of perfectionism

03:13–Uncomfy confession my overfunctioning

04:48–When powering through stops working

05:35–Fear uncertainty and doubt in disguise

06:40–Second guessing yourself despite the evidence

07:17–  Are You Making This Huge Perfectionistic Mistake

08:31–Why overachievers get to disappointed in myself spirals

09:06–Over functioning feeds control issues BEST analogy

09:55–Beating yourself up When is enough enough

11:03–How I’m able to stop pushing through before burnout

12:05–Why perfectionist tendencies turn poisonous

13:45–The Clueless Mismatch Tool

14:20– Choosing what's familiar over what's functional

15:03–Disrupt overachiever autopilot with The Calibration

16:12–Tools to stop second guessing yourself

17:56–Perfectionism Podcast BTS

1. Anderson, E. C., R. Nicholas Carleton, Diefenbach, M., & Paul. (2019). The Relationship Between Uncertainty and Affect. Frontiers in Psychology, 10. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02504
2. Attwell, D., & Laughlin, S. B. (2001). An Energy Budget for Signaling in the Grey Matter of the Brain. Journal of Cerebral Blood Flow & Metabolism, 21(10), 1133–1145. https://doi.org/10.1097/00004647-200110000-00001
3. Barrett, L. F., & Bar, M. (2009). See it with feeling: affective predictions during object perception. Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, 364(1521), 1325–1334. https://doi.org/10.1098/rstb.2008.0312
4. Barrett, L. F., & Bliss‐Moreau, E. (2009). Chapter 4 Affect as a Psychological Primitive. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 167–218. https://doi.org/10.1016/s0065-2601(08)00404-8
5. Braem, S., Coenen, E., Klaas Bombeke, Bochove, van, & Wim Notebaert. (2015). Open your eyes for prediction errors. Cognitive Affective & Behavioral Neuroscience, 15(2), 374–380. https://doi.org/10.3758/s13415-014-0333-4
6. Clark, A. (2013). Whatever next? Predictive brains, situated agents, and the future of cognitive science. Behavioral and Brain Sciences, 36(3), 181–204. https://doi.org/10.1017/s0140525x12000477
7. Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2000). The "what" and "why" of goal pursuits: Human needs and the self-determination of behavior. Psychological Inquiry, 11(4), 227–268. https://doi.org/10.1207/S15327965PLI1104_01
8. Egan, S. J., Piek, J. P., Dyck, M. J., & Rees, C. S. (2007). The role of dichotomous thinking and rigidity in perfectionism. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 45(8), 1813–1822. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2007.02.002
9. Kummer, K., Mattes, A. & Stahl, J. Do perfectionists show negative, repetitive thoughts facing uncertain situations?. Curr Psychol (2023). https://doi.org/10.1007/s12144-023-04409-3
10. Mattes, A., Mück, M., & Stahl, J. (2023). Perfectionism-related variations in error processing in a task with increased response selection complexity. Personality neuroscience, 5, e12. https://doi.org/10.1017/pen.2022.3
11. Petersen, J., Ong, C. W., Hancock, A. S., Gillam, R. B., Levin, M. E., & Twohig, M. P. (2021). An Examination of the Relationship Between Perfectionism and Neurological Functioning. Journal of Cognitive Psychotherapy, 35(3), 195–211. https://doi.org/10.1891/jcpsy-d-20-00037
12. Pollard-Wright Holly (2020) Interoception the foundation for: mind’s sensing of ‘self,’ physiological responses, cognitive discrimination and dysregulation, Communicative & Integrative Biology, 13:1, 198-213, DOI: 10.1080/19420889.2020.1846922
13. Roy, M., Shohamy, D., Daw, N., Jepma, M., Wimmer, G. E., & Wager, T. D. (2014). Representation of aversive prediction errors in the human periaqueductal gray. Nature Neuroscience, 17(11), 1607–1612. https://doi.org/10.1038/nn.3832
14. Solms, L., Koen, J., A.E.M. van Vianen, Theeboom, T., Beersma, B., Anne, & Matthijs de Hoog. (2022). Simply effective? The differential effects of solution-focused and problem-focused coaching questions in a self-coaching writing exercise. Frontiers in Psychology, 13. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.895439
15. Sugiura, Y., & Fisak, B. (2019). Inflated Responsibility in Worry and Obsessive Thinking. International Journal of Cognitive Therapy, 12(2), 97–108. https://doi.org/10.1007/s41811-019-00041-x‌

What if feeling your feelings didn’t mean falling apart...but actually gave you more control, not less? If white knuckling or pushing through is the best way you know how to feel your feelings. You’re not alone! Discover the hidden mistake keeping perfectionists stuck feeling on edge, why you can never outthink your feelings and the right way to feel your feelings.

Other helpful podcast episodes in this series on How Your Brain Actually Works:

1. Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 248
2. Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 249
3. Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 250
4. Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 251
5. Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 252
6. Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 253

00:00-Your thoughts create your feelings LIE #1

01:53-Can't Feel Your Feelings Without This

04:14-Knowing how your brain actually works

05:24-"What is Wrong With Me?" Explained

06:37-Feelings Are Psychological LIE #2

07:16-Feelings are Emotions LIE #3

08:56-Where Feelings Actually Come From

10:08-How Depersonalizing Feelings = Freedom

12:46-Turning Mom Meltdown Moments Around (Manon's Story)

14:35-How To Control Your Feelings

16:01-Rational Thinking + Decisions LIE #4

17:32-Striving For Excellence Without Pushing Through

18:29-What Your Person Account Has To Do With Feelings

19:41-How To Identify Your Feelings Fast

21:12-How To Feel Your Feelings Visual Tool

22:33-Why Meditation + Deep Breaths Don’t Always Work

23:58-Thoughts Drive Your Feelings LIES #5

25:57-Perspectacles How Feelings Shape Your Perceptions

28:37-Turning Your Mood into Useful Fuel

30:07-Where Sense Data Fits Into The Equation

Q: Why does “changing my thoughts” never changes my feelings—especially as a perfectionist? A: This episode breaks down the myth that thoughts drive feelings (hint: it’s the other way around!). Discover why “thought work” is a torture device for perfectionidtic people and how the “CTFAR Model” does not actually work for any human with a brain

Q: What’s really going on when I’m overwhelmed by emotions even if everything looks fine on the outside? A: You’ll learn the neurobiological difference between feelings and emotions, plus why this distinction puts an to the cycle of overthinking feelings and asking “what is wrong with me”

Q: What's the biggest misconception overachievers and perfectionists have about feelings?

A: where feelings come from (it's physiological not psych). Courtney Love Gavin reveals lies and what's true according to modern evidence-based science.

Q: How can I feel my feelings without getting “lost” in them or falling apart?

A: Hear play-by-play how Perfectionist Solution's Manon didn't lose her sh!t and get tangible tool so you regain control and function, even on tough days.

Q: Does thinking rationally mean I can escape feelings?

A: There's no such thing as rational thinking. All Human Beings are coded with feelings, NOT to be confused with emotions (completely different). Dying is how you escape feelings.

Q: What’s one quick, practical tweak I can use to feel better fast? A: Host Courtney Love Gavin shares micro-strategies (think 30 secs to 3 mins) you can use asap to change your mood and your experience.

1. Bar, M. (2009). The proactive brain: memory for predictions. *Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B Biological Sciences*, *364*(1521), 1235–1243. https://doi.org/10.1098/rstb.2008.0310
2. Barrett, L. F. (2017). How emotions are made: The secret life of the brain. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
3. Barrett, L. F. (2006). Valence is a basic building block of emotional life. Journal of Research in Personality, 40(1), 35–55. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2005.08.006
4. Barrett, L. F. (2016). The theory of constructed emotion: an active inference account of interoception and categorization. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, nsw154. https://doi.org/10.1093/scan/nsw154
5. Barrett, L. F., & Bar, M. (2009). See it with feeling: affective predictions during object perception. Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, 364(1521), 1325–1334. https://doi.org/10.1098/rstb.2008.0312
6. Barrett, L. F., Gross, J., Christensen, T. C., & Benvenuto, M. (2001). Knowing what you're feeling and knowing what to do about it: Mapping the relation between emotion differentiation and emotion regulation. Cognition and Emotion, 15(6), 713–724. https://doi.org/10.1080/02699930143000239
7. Barrett, L. F., & Russell, J. A. (1999). The Structure of Current Affect. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 8(1), 10–14. https://doi.org/10.1111/1467-8721.00003
8. Braem, S., Coenen, E., Klaas Bombeke, Bochove, van, & Wim Notebaert. (2015). Open your eyes for prediction errors. *Cognitive Affective & Behavioral Neuroscience*, *15*(2), 374–380. https://doi.org/10.3758/s13415-014-0333-4
9. Bobba-Alves, N., Juster, R.-P., & Picard, M. (2022). The energetic cost of allostasis and allostatic load. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 146, 105951. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psyneuen.2022.105951
10. Cesario, J., Johnson, D. J., & Eisthen, H. L. (2020). Your Brain Is Not an Onion With a Tiny Reptile Inside. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 29(3), 255–260. https://doi.org/10.1177/0963721420917687
11. ‌Clark, A. (2013). Whatever next? Predictive brains, situated agents, and the future of cognitive science. *Behavioral and Brain Sciences*, *36*(3), 181–204. https://doi.org/10.1017/s0140525x12000477
12. Gendron, M., Lindquist, K. A., Barsalou, L., & Barrett, L. F. (2012). Emotion words shape emotion percepts. Emotion, 12(2), 314–325. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0026007
13. Hoemann, K., Gendron, M., & Barrett, L. F. (2022). Assessing the Power of Words to Facilitate Emotion Category Learning. Affective Science, 3(1), 69–80. https://doi.org/10.1007/s42761-021-00084-4
14. Kleckner, I. R., Zhang, J., Touroutoglou, A., Chanes, L., Xia, C., Simmons, W. K., Quigley, K. S., Dickerson, B. C., & Feldman Barrett, L. (2017). Evidence for a large-scale brain system supporting allostasis and interoception in humans. Nature Human Behaviour, 1(5). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41562-017-0069
15. Mattes, A., Mück, M., & Stahl, J. (2023). Perfectionism-related variations in error processing in a task with increased response selection complexity. *Personality neuroscience*, *5*, e12. https://doi.org/10.1017/pen.2022.3
16. Sullivan, W. T. (1990). Outward Searchers: SETI Pioneers . Scientists Talk about Their Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence. DAVID W. SWIFT. University of Arizona Press, Tucson, 1990. xiv, 436 pp., illus. $35. Science, 250(4978), 303–303. https://doi.org/10.1126/science.250.4978.303-a

Achieving stability through change = biophysics process known as Allostasis. As Perfectionists we love to achieve! And we've acclimated to the chronic mild stress we encounter daily.

So when our capacity is a mismatch with the resources required and Allostatic Load starts to pile up, we tend to dismiss the SIGNALS from our internal SYSTEMS. Mistaking them for perfectionistic "symptoms" or deficits within ourselves.

That ends now. Discover the signals of Allostatic Overload specific to driven, high-performing, perfectionists and why high allostatic load shows up for us, is criminally misunderstood.

Your Person Account™ is a proprietary one-to-one model of allostasis, allostatic load and allostatic overload. This puts interdisciplinary biophysics system science in tangible, fiduciary terms. Your Person Account™ is an invention made by Perfectionist Solutions™ founder Courtney Love Gavin and is protected by copyright, trademark and other intellectual property laws.

• What caffeine, people pleasing + Top Ramen have in common
• 16+ surprising signs of Allostatic Overload unique to Type-A perfectionists, overachievers and high-performers
• How ruminating, overthinking + perfectionist patterns are SIGNALS—not problems to solve

• Recharge your Person Account Book your Perfect Start 1:1 session now
• Magic Skill for Control of Emotions [Neuroscience Series #1] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 248
• How Perfectionist Brain *Actually* Works [Neuroscience Series #2] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 249
• Can't Stop Ruminating? Here's Why [Neuroscience Series #3] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 250
• Neuroplasticity [Neuroscience Series #4] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 251
• #1 Thing Stops Perfectionists From Growth [Neuroscience Series #5] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 252

02:09-Why Perfectionists Need More Fuel for Our Brains

04:10-MYTH: You Have to Stop Being a Perfectionist

06:24-Clues You’re on the Path to Chronic Stress

09:32-Burn Out is Not the Price of Ambition

10:25-Case Study: How Stacey Cleared the Smog

12:43-I Ruminate Over Decisions bc I Need to Make the Right Decision

14:05-Why You’re Choosing Instant Relief (and Paying Later)

16:11-A Healthy Person Account™ = Liberation

1. Barrett, L. F. (2017). How emotions are made: The secret life of the brain. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
2. Barrett, L. F., Quigley, K. S., & Hamilton, P. (2016). An active inference theory of allostasis and interoception in depression. *Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences*, *371*(1708), 20160011. https://doi.org/10.1098/rstb.2016.0011
3. Bobba-Alves, N., Juster, R.-P., & Picard, M. (2022). The energetic cost of allostasis and allostatic load. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 146, 105951. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psyneuen.2022.105951
4. Dwyer, P. (2022). The Neurodiversity Approach(es): What Are They and What Do They Mean for Researchers? Human Development, 66(2), 73–92. https://doi.org/10.1159/000523723
5. Ganzel, B. L., & Morris, P. A. (2011). Allostasis and the developing human brain: Explicit consideration of implicit models. Development and Psychopathology, 23(4), 955–974. https://doi.org/10.1017/s0954579411000447‌
6. Guidi, J., Lucente, M., Sonino, N., & Fava, Giovanni A. (2020). Allostatic Load and Its Impact on Health: A Systematic Review. Psychotherapy and Psychosomatics, 90(1), 11–27. https://doi.org/10.1159/000510696
7. Kleckner, I. R., Zhang, J., Touroutoglou, A., Chanes, L., Xia, C., Simmons, W. K., Quigley, K. S., Dickerson, B. C., & Feldman Barrett, L. (2017). Evidence for a large-scale brain system supporting allostasis and interoception in humans. Nature Human Behaviour, 1(5). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41562-017-0069
8. Knezevic, E., Katarina Nenic, Milanovic, V., & Knezevic, N. N. (2023). The Role of Cortisol in Chronic Stress, Neurodegenerative Diseases, and Psychological Disorders. Cells, 12(23), 2726–2726. https://doi.org/10.3390/cells12232726‌
9. McEwen, B. S., & Gianaros, P. J. (2011). Stress- and Allostasis-Induced Brain Plasticity. Annual Review of Medicine, 62(1), 431–445. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-med-052209-100430

Feel like you're working hard but not seeing the progress you want? It's NOT YOU or your PERFECTIONISM – it's your Person Account™ . Discover my proprietary framework that’s changing the game for Perfectionist Solution’s clients, and will do the same for you. 

• How ruminating + running a 10k impact you the exact same way
• Why perfectionist brains work overtime + cost more to operate
• How to tell if you’re operating in a constant state of depletion without realizing it
• What Cortisol actually is (it's NOT a STRESS HORMONE)
• The hidden reason therapy + personal development don't work

On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or JOYFULLY PRESENT AMBITIOUS again, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/rewire

• Perfect Start Session
• Magic Skill for Control of Emotions [Neuroscience Series #1] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 248
• How Perfectionist Brain *Actually* Works [Neuroscience Series #2] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 249
• Can't Stop Ruminating? Here's Why [Neuroscience Series #3] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 250

0:53-Why You're Not Making Progress Despite Trying Harder
02:15-Allostasis: How Your Brain Allocates
05:07-The Hidden Reason Therapy Isn’t Working
06:30-Why Perfectionist Brains Cost More to Operate
07:25-Living in a Depleted State Without Realizing It
09:31-Stressed out: Eustress vs. Distress
10:29-Truth about Cortisol + Stress Response
12:35-The Slow Drip of Perfectionist Burnout
15:17-How to Tell if You’re Running on Empty

1. Barrett, L. F. (2017). How emotions are made: The secret life of the brain. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
2. Bobba-Alves, N., Juster, R.-P., & Picard, M. (2022). The energetic cost of allostasis and allostatic load. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 146, 105951. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psyneuen.2022.105951
3. Dwyer, P. (2022). The Neurodiversity Approach(es): What Are They and What Do They Mean for Researchers? Human Development, 66(2), 73–92. https://doi.org/10.1159/000523723
4. Ganzel, B. L., & Morris, P. A. (2011). Allostasis and the developing human brain: Explicit consideration of implicit models. Development and Psychopathology, 23(4), 955–974. https://doi.org/10.1017/s0954579411000447‌
5. Guidi, J., Lucente, M., Sonino, N., & Fava, Giovanni A. (2020). Allostatic Load and Its Impact on Health: A Systematic Review. Psychotherapy and Psychosomatics, 90(1), 11–27. https://doi.org/10.1159/000510696
6. Kleckner, I. R., Zhang, J., Touroutoglou, A., Chanes, L., Xia, C., Simmons, W. K., Quigley, K. S., Dickerson, B. C., & Feldman Barrett, L. (2017). Evidence for a large-scale brain system supporting allostasis and interoception in humans. Nature Human Behaviour, 1(5). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41562-017-0069
7. Knezevic, E., Katarina Nenic, Milanovic, V., & Knezevic, N. N. (2023). The Role of Cortisol in Chronic Stress, Neurodegenerative Diseases, and Psychological Disorders. Cells, 12(23), 2726–2726. https://doi.org/10.3390/cells12232726‌
8. McEwen, B. S., & Gianaros, P. J. (2011). Stress- and Allostasis-Induced Brain Plasticity. Annual Review of Medicine, 62(1), 431–445. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-med-052209-100430

Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.

On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or JOYFULLY PRESENT AMBITIOUS again, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/rewire

• How neuroplasticity works and why it’s crucial for perfectionists
• The surprising difference in brain flexibility before and after age 45
• Real-life coaching breakthroughs that prove brain rewiring is possible
• Why *use it or lose it* is the key to changing perfectionist tendencies
• The fastest way to stop rumination, self-doubt and overanalyzing mistakes

• Take your first step in rewiring Perfect Start Introductory Session
• Magic Skill for Control of Emotions [Neuroscience Series #1] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 248
• How Perfectionist Brain *Actually* Works [Neuroscience Series #2] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 249
• Can't Stop Ruminating? Here's Why [Neuroscience Series #3] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 250

00:00-Why Age 45 Is a Brain Plasticity Tipping Point
01:07-Analogy for what is neuroplasticity
02:52-Rewire your brain with Perfect Start Session
05:29-Framework for Rewiring Perfectionism Inside Out
06:10-Transformative Effects of Cognitive Flexibility

1. Cramer, S. C., Sur, M., Dobkin, B. H., C. O'Brien, Sanger, T. D., Trojanowski, J. Q., … Haber, S. (2011). Harnessing neuroplasticity for clinical applications. Brain, 134(6), 1591–1609. https://doi.org/10.1093/brain/awr039
2. Fuchs, E., & Flügge, G. (2014). Adult Neuroplasticity: More Than 40 Years of Research. Neural Plasticity, 2014, 1–10. https://doi.org/10.1155/2014/541870
3. Green, C. S., & Bavelier, D. (2008). Exercising your brain: A review of human brain plasticity and training-induced learning. Psychology and Aging, 23(4), 692–701. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0014345
4. Isheqlou, L.K., Soltanlou, M., Zarean, M., Saeedi, M.T. and Heysieattalab, S. (2023). Feedback-related negativity in perfectionists: An index of performance outcome evaluation. Behavioural Brain Research, 444, 114358–114358. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bbr.2023.114358
5. Petersen, J., Ong, C. W., Hancock, A. S., Gillam, R. B., Levin, M. E., & Twohig, M. P. (2021). An Examination of the Relationship Between Perfectionism and Neurological Functioning. Journal of Cognitive Psychotherapy, 35(3), 195–211. https://doi.org/10.1891/jcpsy-d-20-00037
   ‌

Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.

"Part of the reason I stay super busy is bc if I stop to rest l'll ruminate. And if I ruminate, I start spiraling. And if I spiraling I'm like a nosediving plane" Sound familiar? Discover the ANSWER to WHY you get stuck in your most annoying perfectionist tendencies, like ruminating, catastrophizing, overthinking every small mistake etc. 

Plus the 6 reasons your perfectionist brain holds on to outdated habits,  how chronic stress impacts your brain’s ability to change, the role of back and white thinking in reinforcing unhelpful neural pathways, why past experiences trick your brain into seeing danger everywhere and how to stop your worries from becoming self-fulfilling prophecies. 

On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or JOYFULLY PRESENT AMBITIOUS again, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/rewire

00:00–How to finally take charge of ruminating
02:16–Missed the last episode? Here’s a quick recap
04:06–What happens when your brain gets it wrong
06:09–Why perfectionist brains resists learning from mistakes
07:40–6 sneaky reasons your brain ignores new info
08:23–How chronic stress keeps your brain stuck
10:20–Why your brain clings to old patterns
11:42–The hidden reason you avoid discomfort
12:51–When your brain blows things out of proportion
13:49–How black-and-white thinking is like wearing blinders
15:19–Why past experiences warp your reactions
19:34–How to update your brain so you can get unstuck
21:09–One small shift to start seeing change today The first step in rewiring

• Take your first step in rewiring Perfect Start Introductory Session
• Magic Skill for Control of Emotions [Neuroscience Series #1] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 248
• How Perfectionist Brain *Actually* Works [Neuroscience Series #2] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 249
• When Taking A Few Deep Breaths Isn't Enough Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 192
• Will Save Your Sanity(might change your life) Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 193

1. Bar, M. (2009). The proactive brain: memory for predictions. Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B Biological Sciences, 364(1521), 1235–1243. https://doi.org/10.1098/rstb.2008.0310
2. Barrett, L. F., & Simmons, W. K. (2015). Interoceptive predictions in the brain. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 16(7), 419–429. https://doi.org/10.1038/nrn3950
3. Braem, S., Coenen, E., Klaas Bombeke, Bochove, van, & Wim Notebaert. (2015). Open your eyes for prediction errors. Cognitive Affective & Behavioral Neuroscience, 15(2), 374–380. https://doi.org/10.3758/s13415-014-0333-4
4. Clark, A. (2013). Whatever next? Predictive brains, situated agents, and the future of cognitive science. Behavioral and Brain Sciences, 36(3), 181–204. https://doi.org/10.1017/s0140525x12000477
5. Handley, A. K., Egan, S. J., Kane, R. T., & Rees, C. S. (2014). The relationships between perfectionism, pathological worry and generalised anxiety disorder. BMC Psychiatry, 14(1). https://doi.org/10.1186/1471-244x-14-98
6. Kummer, K., Mattes, A. & Stahl, J. Do perfectionists show negative, repetitive thoughts facing uncertain situations?. Curr Psychol (2023). https://doi.org/10.1007/s12144-023-04409-3
7. Lital Yosopov, Saklofske, D. H., Smith, M. M., Flett, G. L., & Hewitt, P. L. (2024). Failure Sensitivity in Perfectionism and Procrastination: Fear of Failure and Overgeneralization of Failure as Mediators of Traits and Cognitions. Journal of Psychoeducational Assessment, 42(6), 705–724. https://doi.org/10.1177/07342829241249784
8. Mattes, A., Mück, M., & Stahl, J. (2022). Perfectionism-related variations in error processing in a task with increased response selection complexity. Personality Neuroscience, 5. https://doi.org/10.1017/pen.2022.3
9. ‌McNally, G. P., Johansen, J. P., & Blair, H. T. (2011). Placing prediction into the fear circuit. *Trends in Neurosciences*, *34*(6), 283–292. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tins.2011.03.005‌
10. Meyer, A., & Wissemann, K. (2020). Controlling parenting and perfectionism is associated with an increased error-related negativity (ERN) in young adults. *Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience*, *15*(1), 87–95. https://doi.org/10.1093/scan/nsaa018
11. ‌Roy, M., Shohamy, D., Daw, N., Jepma, M., Wimmer, G. E., & Wager, T. D. (2014). Representation of aversive prediction errors in the human periaqueductal gray. *Nature Neuroscience*, *17*(11), 1607–1612. https://doi.org/10.1038/nn.3832
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Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.

Constantly overthinking? Still ruminating over that convo with your boss? You're not alone. Uncover how perfectionistic tendencies like being super rigid, people pleasing, over-preparing, excessively worrying — are actually signs your perfectionistic brain is misfiring. Plus, learn the neuroscience-backed solution to take charge of your perfectionist tendencies + start feeling better. 

00:00-What Makes Perfectionistic Brains Unique
04:02-How Perfectionist Tendencies Operate

07:32-Neuroscience Behind Overthinking

09:25-Catastrophizing Your Way to Chronic Stress

10:37-Ruminating + Other Perfectionist Tendencies
11:58-Neuroplasticy to rewire the brain
14:03-What Gets In The Way of Rewiring
15:59-Black + White Thinking

On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today!

• Perfect Start Introductory Session Single Coaching Session
• Catastrophizing Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 188
• Catastrophize. Ruminate. Overthink. Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 216
• Will Save Your Sanity(might change your life) Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 193

1. Braem, S., Coenen, E., Klaas Bombeke, Bochove, van, & Wim Notebaert. (2015). Open your eyes for prediction errors. Cognitive Affective & Behavioral Neuroscience, 15(2), 374–380. https://doi.org/10.3758/s13415-014-0333-4
2. Handley, A. K., Egan, S. J., Kane, R. T., & Rees, C. S. (2014). The relationships between perfectionism, pathological worry and generalised anxiety disorder. BMC Psychiatry, 14(1). https://doi.org/10.1186/1471-244x-14-98
3. Mattes, A., Mück, M., & Stahl, J. (2022). Perfectionism-related variations in error processing in a task with increased response selection complexity. Personality Neuroscience, 5. https://doi.org/10.1017/pen.2022.3

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Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.

Feeling overwhelmed? Stressed out? Anxious? Being vague about your emotions is like saying you're "craving food" for dinner—utterly unhelpful! Your perfectionist brain needs precision to create the right action plan for you. Learn why labeling your emotions accurately is crucial for regulating your body's responses and the essential skillset all perfectionists need to understand their emotions.

01:08-Controlling of emotions
03:13-How to stop feeling overwhelmed
05:28-Muffin-Cupcake Experiment
07:54-Why Words Hold Physiological Power
09:48-Emotional Regulation skills
12:14-What the skill of emotional granularity buys you
14:23-How to rewire your brain
15:27-Becoming an Emotional Sommelier
18:52-How do you construct your emotions more accurately?

On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it?  Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/rewire

• Perfect Start Introductory Session Single Coaching Session
• Avoiding Perfectionist Mistakes in Expressing Emotions Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 173
• Will Save Your Sanity(might change your life) Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 193
• Everything You Need to Know About Self Regulation as a Perfectionist  Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 194

1. Barrett, L. F. (2017). How emotions are made: The secret life of the brain. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
2. Barrett, L. F. (2016). The theory of constructed emotion: an active inference account of interoception and categorization. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, nsw154–nsw154. https://doi.org/10.1093/scan/nsw154
3. Barrett, L. F., Gross, J., Christensen, T. C., & Benvenuto, M. (2001). Knowing what you're feeling and knowing what to do about it: Mapping the relation between emotion differentiation and emotion regulation. Cognition and Emotion, 15(6), 713–724. https://doi.org/10.1080/02699930143000239
4. ‌Crum, A. J., Corbin, W. R., Brownell, K. D., & Salovey, P. (2011). Mind over milkshakes: Mindsets, not just nutrients, determine ghrelin response. Health Psychology, 30(4), 424–429. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0023467
5. Gendron, M., Lindquist, K. A., Barsalou, L., & Barrett, L. F. (2012). Emotion words shape emotion percepts. Emotion, 12(2), 314–325. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0026007
6. Hoemann, K., Gendron, M., & Barrett, L. F. (2022). Assessing the Power of Words to Facilitate Emotion Category Learning. Affective Science, 3(1), 69–80. https://doi.org/10.1007/s42761-021-00084-4
7. Hoemann, K., Khan, Z., Kamona, N., Dy, J., Barrett, L. F., & Quigley, K. S. (2021). Investigating the relationship between emotional granularity and cardiorespiratory physiological activity in daily life. Psychophysiology, 58(6). https://doi.org/10.1111/psyp.13818
8. Hoemann, K., Lee, Y., Kuppens, P., Gendron, M., & Boyd, R. L. (2023). Emotional Granularity is Associated with Daily Experiential Diversity. Affective Science, 4(2), 291–306. https://doi.org/10.1007/s42761-023-00185-2
9. Hoemann, K., Nielson, C., Yuen, A., Gurera, J. W., Quigley, K. S., & Barrett, L. F. (2021). Expertise in emotion: A scoping review and unifying framework for individual differences in the mental representation of emotional experience. Psychological Bulletin, 147(11), 1159–1183. https://doi.org/10.1037/bul0000327
10. Satpute, A. B., Nook, E. C., Narayanan, S., Shu, J., Weber, J., & Ochsner, K. N. (2016). Emotions in "Black and White" or Shades of Gray? How We Think About Emotion Shapes Our Perception and Neural Representation of Emotion. Psychological science, 27(11), 1428–1442. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797616661555
11. Westlin, C., Theriault, J. E., Yuta Katsumi, Nieto-Castanon, A., Kucyi, A., Ruf, S. F., … Barrett, L. F. (2023). Improving the study of brain-behavior relationships by revisiting basic assumptions. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 27(3), 246–257. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tics.2022.12.015

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Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.

It’s impossible to stop self-comparison as a perfectionist. You.Are.Going.To.Compare.Yourself and here’s the best way to do it! Discover 6 empowering ways to rewire unhealthy self-comparisons, perfectionism trash trades, how to tell if you’re fear-based striving, live coaching on 4 IRL examples of comparing, the only skillset you need for this to work 100% of the time  and a tool to instantly upgrade comparing yourself 

On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or becoming JOYFULLY PRESENT AMBITIOUS again, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/rewire

01:26-Choosing Your Response to Comparisons
03:07-The Skill Set of CAKE
05:41-Trash Trades in Perfectionism
06:55-Healthy vs. Unhealthy Comparisons
08:47-How to Reframe Self-Critical Thoughts
09:25-Breaking Free from Fear-Based Striving
10:49-Living in the Present, Not the Future
15:52-What Self-Comparisons Actually Reveal
17:39-Tool to instantly upgrade comparing yourself
21:48-How Tiny, Mighty Progress Fuels You

• Perfect Start Introductory Session Single Coaching Session
• Comparing Yourself [PART ONE] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 245
• How Can I Stop Comparing Myself [PART TWO] Perfectionism Rewired Eo. 246
• Meeting Yourself Where You Are Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 187
• Will Save Your Sanity(might change your life) Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 193

Olson, J. M., Buhrmann, O., & Roese, N. J. (2000). Comparing Comparisons. Handbook of Social Comparison, 379–398. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-1-4615-4237-7_18

Sirois, F.M., Monforton, J. and Simpson, M. (2010) "If Only I Had Done Better": Perfectionism and the Functionality of Counterfactual Thinking. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin , 36 (12). 1675 - 1692. ISSN 0146-1672 https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167210387614

Stoeber, J., & Diedenhofen, B. (2017). Multidimensional perfectionism and counterfactual thinking: Some think upward, others downward. Personality and Individual Differences, 119, 118–121. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2017.07.009

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Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.