In this Episode

This was a very 'sober' conversation about Jamie's journey with alcohol addiction.

As the title of this episode states, alcohol was a lifesaver.  I'm guessing that nobody would think that alcohol could save anyone's life.

I think, generally speaking, one would think that its quite the opposite, drinking destroys and can ultimately kill people.

However in this case Jamie goes as far as saying that it did save his life.

'I don't know what would have become of me'.

'When I was 12 years old I found something that could make it possible for me to deal with life'

As I listened to Jamie talk about his story, the thing that struck me the most is that he had to learn to be humble.  He had to learn that perhaps he was not always the smartest person in the room.  "12 step is a severely humbling process".

I asked Jamie to talk about how his view of himself and life changed.

If one thinks that they know it all and are convinced that the 12 step program is not going to work for them, what is it that helps anybody shift their perspective??

He thought that he was different from the people in AA.

Listen to the episode to find out what Jamie says.

Its a wonderful, refreshing conversation, one that truly deserves 30 minutes of your time.

If you would love to be a guest, or if you know someone who would be a great guest, please get in touch via email: [email protected] or send me a personal message here:https://www.facebook.com/diane.xuereb.9

I was particularly struck by two things, the first being that even though Lena went through  32 rounds of radiation and 16 weeks of chemo, she did not give herself permission to rest or stop.

The second one is her resilience and I think I should use caps for that word because she had oodles of it.  The beautiful thing about these very painful journeys is that we discover just how resilient we are.

In the initial stages of the diagnosis, her reasoning was let's get it over with.  Let's get rid of it so I can keep going. Even though the sickness itself was a big stop sign.  It was a message from her body asking her to slow down or to stop altogether.

During the conversation, I made reference to the movie, Enola Holmes. Enola when written backwards is alone, was an investigator and sister of Sherlock Holmes. She was a feisty progressive woman with a mind of her own but she had to do what she was told.  She was told to conform to the paradigm that was dictated to us by men.  That is, to be a mother, not educate herself, procreate, take care of the children and basically never stop, never rest, keep caring for others.

I made this connection because I believe that this programming is very deep in our psyche. It could be one of the reasons we keep supporting and helping others instead of stopping and asking for or accepting help when we need it the most.  Happily, Lena got heaps of support from both her sisters.

There are a few elements that we dealt with in this conversation,  one being the emotions and feelings that come with surviving cancer. Guilt could also be another reason why we feel the need to keep going.

This episode is about how important it is to listen to the signals our bodies give us. To me, sickness or pain is a sign with which our body tries to communicate with us that we need to stop.

Do you give yourself permission to stop, to rest?

Do you listen to your body?

If you have not, is it time to stop and listen?

If you would love to be a guest, or if you know someone who would be a great guest, please get in touch via email: [email protected] or send me a personal message here:https://www.facebook.com/diane.xuereb.9

In this Episode

I was really excited to welcome  Hannah as my guest. You can hear it in my voice as I introduced her. 

I always wanted to have a fellow Malteser on my show and finally, it happened.

Hannah has a wonderful story to share, it's about her frustration with not listening to her childhood dreams of travelling to different countries to volunteer in organisations. She wanted to be exposed to other cultures and have different experiences in life.

Hannah was faced with the challenge of working in a family business that was well established. As you can imagine it was difficult having to tell both her parents that she wanted to leave.

As it turns not listening to her voice and staying where she thought she should be was much more painful than listening to her heart.

There was a bump in the road, one which she overcame by courageously looking at it straight in the eye.

As usual, I do not want to give away too much especially the dangerous part.

As you listen this might inspire you to think about your dreams.  It might push you to question if you are where you want to be in your life.

When you follow your heart and you do what brings you joy, everyone is a winner.

If you are not listening, when would be a good time to start doing so??

If you would love to be a guest, or if you know someone who would be a great guest, please get in touch via email: [email protected] or send me a personal message here:https://www.facebook.com/diane.xuereb.9

 In this Episode

What a heartwarming story,  one that is very similar to mine.  The challenges of coming out as a gay person.

PHEW!!!

It can be so difficult navigating life when it seems that the whole world is against you.

Lucy took off to Spain and thought that she would leave everything behind her.  However, as we all know, wherever you go, your baggage goes with you.

There is no escaping it, no hiding it, no magic trick. It doesn't magically all go away.

Spain did help her in many ways but I'll let her tell the story.

Alcohol became Lucy's friend as she tried to create a good life for herself but ultimately she knew that she had to do something about it.

She set herself free in a way that I cannot justify with words.  She had a conversation with her sister who said something to her that changed her life in a way she could have never imagined.

I truly cannot describe the transformation and even if I could, my words would not justify the impact that that conversation had on her.

If you would love to be a guest, or if you know someone who would be a great guest, please get in touch via email: [email protected] or send me a personal message here:https://www.facebook.com/diane.xuereb.9

In this Episode

In this sparkly conversation, Elizabeth talks about her childhood and being doted on by her eight uncles and aunties.

In spite of having all that love she felt called, she had to go beyond the protection of her family to follow the calling.  She knew that something 'truer' was beckoning, so she left Australia to visit the world.  "At age 25 I left and I never lived in Australia again".

In that process, during that journey, she discovered something about being human.  She discovered that two things are true, we are all really different and at the same time paradoxically we are all the same.

During the conversation a verse of Rumi kept coming to mind:

"Out Beyond the ideas of wrong and right doing,

there is a field.

I'll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass,

the world is too full to talk about.

Ideas, language, even the phrase 'each other'

doesn't make any sense."

This was the essence of our conversation, Elizabeth points us to the truth of what she discovered during her travels.  I'll let you discover the rest of the conversation without giving too much away.

If you would love to be a guest, or if you know someone who would be a great guest, please get in touch via email: [email protected] or send me a personal message here:https://www.facebook.com/diane.xuereb.9

This is a unique story about what a woman did when she and her husband decided to divorce.  There was no question in her husband's mind, there was no option for him, the children would remain with him.

She talked about how she navigated her divorce and the fact that she had a big decision to make.  Do I stay next to my children or do I follow my heart and my intuition?

Her story surprised me and it was the last thing I expected. I was brought up in a very traditional family, with a stereotypical belief about the role of mothers.

Claudia listened to the gentle whispers from beyond, she trusted her heart and just put one foot after the other.

Surrender is the only word I can think that describes and gives justice to how she navigated life, her divorce and her husbands very clear decision.

When we trust, when we listen to our hearts, it's amazing how much easier it becomes to navigate life.  Life is happening for us and not to us when we are open to that life just presents us with endless beautiful moments.

If you would love to be a guest, or if you know someone who would be a great guest, please get in touch via email: [email protected] or send me a personal message here:https://www.facebook.com/diane.xuereb.9

In this Episode:

Jacquie was the middle child between two brothers. As she was growing up she competed for the attention of her mother.

Jacquie also spoke about her need to be validated in her place of work.

She worked very hard and took that competitive edge to her job.  "In that competitiveness, there was also the approval seeking. Look at how I can do this, I can do this better than you."   "I had to work 10 times harder than any man just to be seen"

I resonated with her story, for many years I sought validation from others, if someone said something nice to me, my day was made.  Equally, if I was criticised, I felt bad all day.

I relied on others to feel good, I gave the power to others to make me feel bad or good. It was a never-ending vicious circle.

Ultimately Jacquie saw through her story and she started to see what was important and unimportant.

During her NLP training, she started to realise that there is a gap between who you think you are and who you actually are. There is a space between you and your thoughts, you and your identity.

She realised that she didn't have to be externally referenced. What other people thought of her had nothing to do with her, it had everything to do with them.

How often do you seek validation?

How long does it last?

Do you know that what you are seeking is looking right at you?

I invite you to listen to the end, she shares a story about an episode in a supermarket that is somewhat dreadful but equally powerful.

If you would love to be a guest, or if you know someone who would be a great guest, please get in touch via email: [email protected] or send me a personal message here:https://www.facebook.com/diane.xuereb.9

What struck me in this conversation is the way in which Sally interacted with the actors of the soap opera, One Life to Live.   "Being a costume designer is a little bit of being a therapist."

Sometimes actors for reasons of their own would have a hard time with the costume that they had to wear.  They would complain about the costume and sometimes refuse to wear it.

She used to take a step back and get curious about their state of mind instead of reacting to them.  She allowed them to be themselves instead of taking what they said personally.

I asked her how she learnt how to do it and she said that she just knew it.  She knew instinctively that she would never win if she tried to force anyone to do anything against their will.

Sally is a three-time Emmy award winner, very unassuming about this fact. A trait which I love about her. She is a joy to be with and speak to.

I invite you to listen to the whole episode, at the end she tells a story about a moment in her life in which she gave herself permission to go against the rules.

If you would love to be a guest, or if you know someone who would be a great guest, please get in touch via email: [email protected] or send me a personal message here:https://www.facebook.com/diane.xuereb.9

In this Episode:

Lori talks about her struggles with breaking out of a religious box, the 7th Day Advent Church.

To be perfectly truthful it felt more like a cult to me than a religious organisation. But once again it is a religious institution dictating a way to be and live.

She loved her religious upbringing, however, she struggled with the fact that she felt that she had to always behave in a certain way.

The way she put it:  'There was this war of, having to live up to, you really have to be this good girl and follow all the rules.'

The thing that struck me most in this conversation is that even though Lori had to live by certain rules, even though for most of her teenage and young adult life she felt trapped.

A deep part of her knew that there was much more to her than what she was taught.

At one point whilst she was studying to become a nurse she had a realisation that she was not being herself.  She was not giving herself permission to be the expansive being that she intuitively knew she was.

'I am more than this'.

So far in every conversation I have had, all my guests, notwithstanding their upbringing and environment had this knowing.  They knew that there was much more to them than they were led to believe.

Lori explored and questioned, she started to feel an expansiveness that was taking her beyond the beliefs, beyond who she was being told who she was.

Do you intuitively know that you are more than the sum of what you think you are?

Have you ever stopped to explore this statement: I AM

Are you questioning the dictates of your past?

Are you giving yourself permission to be who you are warts and all?

If you would love to be a guest, or if you know someone who would be a great guest, please get in touch via email: [email protected] or send me a personal message here:https://www.facebook.com/diane.xuereb.9

In this Episode:

Lucy talks about the challenges she had to face during her marriage with a man who was trying to cope with an illness that he did not understand.

She was brought up by a deacon mother so it was natural for her to adopt the beliefs that were passed on to her. She created rules for herself and wanted to live up to them.

In sickness and in health she assumed all responsibility for her marriage, sometimes to her own detriment.

This conversation is a clear example of how we fall for the trap of trying to mould our lives in ways that please everybody around us, except ourselves.

I hope that this conversation will help you to question areas in your life where you are unconsciously pleasing others.

Here are some questions to consider:

What belief did you adopt as a child?

Are you unconsciously living by the dictate of that belief?

Lucy: 'I had to face that isn't what I wanted.  Actually, I had probably spent the last 15 years making sure I'd pleased everybody.'

We have all heard the expression, you made your bed now lie in it, right?

Her story highlights the fact that that statement is untrue.

You can change the trajectory of your life.  You can get up, throw out that bed and start afresh.

What is it in your life that you are not comfortable with anymore?

I'd love to hear from you.

If you would love to be a guest, or if you know someone who would be a great guest, please get in touch via email: [email protected] or send me a personal message here:https://www.facebook.com/diane.xuereb.9