Permission to Be You - The Podcast Diane Xuereb

There were several things that struck me  but my favourite is the following:

'I don't need to be agreed with and I don't even need to be understood. Trying to be understood is kind of grasping for love in itself.'

I sought to be understood and sometimes I still do, what I had not realised is that what I was really looking for is love.

To reach a point of not needing to be understood is truly liberating, try it?!. Let go of the need of being understood and see what happens.

As I was editing this conversation I was having a chat with a friend. 

During the exchange I had a realisation.  Some of the words being used reminded me of what I did to myself for years on end.

I tried to beat the human out of me, by constantly trying to understand myself and become a better human. By trying to understand how I tick as if that was the answer to all my problems.

Insights do not come through prolonged thought processes or striving to understand yourself or anyone else for that matter.  Change or shifts sometimes happen without your interference or without you necessarily doing anything about it.

In this conversation, Judy and I talk about how liberating it is to let go of trying.

Here are some questions for you to consider as you listen:

Are you trying to be a good person, in order for someone to love you?

Are you trying to be what you think somebody wants you to be?

If you stop trying to be good, does that automatically mean that you will be bad?

Is it ok to be bad?

Can you let go of all that you believe or think to be true and be open to another way of being?

Can being who you are be enough without you thinking that it's not good enough?

This conversation is filled with gold, I invite you to listen without being attached to any outcome.

If you would love to be a guest, or if you know someone who would be a great guest, please get in touch via email,  or send me a personal message.

IN THIS EPISODE

A member of my group posed some wonderful questions about boundaries and essentially about saying no.

So what happens when someone starts engaging with you talking with you and you don't have space for it or the interest?!

How do you care for your boundaries and yourselves when the other is not tuned in or aware?

What is your responsibility to take care of yourself?

How do you voice your needs and your boundaries in that moment to someone?

What would you want to say to the person?

Do you give yourself permission to really say that to speak that, that's what's true?

If not, what do you do?

I invite you to listen and if you feel that someone could benefit from these conversations please share them.  You never know who might listen.

If you would love to be a guest, or if you know someone who would be a great guest, please get in touch via email,  or send me a personal message.

If you are struggling with giving clear boundaries please do not hesitate to reach out and we can have a conversation.

In this Episode

I have been trying to write down some bullet points in the form of questions like I normally do when I release a podcast but this time I am at a loss for words.

I have also literally been delaying releasing this very huge gift because I wanted to keep it for myself. Oops, sorry!

So finally after a rather long delay here it is:

Terri was my coach and the very first person who pointed me to the truth of who we all are.

Considering her traumatic childhood and upbringing one would think, or, rather in my world, it seems logical that it might have been easy for her to get on the wrong track.

Instead, Terri blossomed into one of the most beautiful women I have ever met.

She genuinely sees people in all their glory!

It was an extremely special conversation between two very wonderful women.

Yes, you read it correctly, I have included myself.

I am telling my truth as I see it!

Does that sound like bragging to you?

If it does then you need to take a good look at yourself in the mirror and start to see how the universe intended you to be -  A BEAUTIFUL HUMAN BEING!!

Are you telling your truth?

If you don't tell your truth then who will?

What more can I say?  I invite you to listen to this episode as you would listen to music.

Listen simply for the sake of hearing a story.

If you feel that someone could benefit from these conversations please share them.  You never know who might listen.

If you would love to be a guest, or if you know someone who would be a great guest, please get in touch via email,  or send me a personal message.

This is inspired by Caroline flack and dedicated to all those people we will never have the pleasure of meeting.

It is also dedicated to the people who were left behind because their loved ones decided to exit and put an end to their suffering.

I was touched as well as disturbed by the number of posts that popped up on my timeline.

It made me think about the countless number of people who ended their own lives because it seemed like the only way that they could find peace.

In this episode unlike the others, I talk about the intangible, the formless, that which we cannot see, at least not with our physical eyes.

On some level, we all know it's there and many of us are constantly seeking this elusive constant feeling of happiness.

Through my own experience of life, I know that searching and seeking is futile.

You cannot find that which is already present.

I made this episode in the hope that perhaps that someone who is going through a very tough time might stumble upon it. 

They might hear something that could possibly stop him or her from leaving this world prematurely. 

Let us listen to one another with an open heart and mind, nobody needs fixing, all we have to do is be a silent presence! 

I invite you to listen and if you feel that someone could benefit from these conversations please share them.  You never know who might listen.

If you would love to be a guest, or if you know someone who would be a great guest, please get in touch via email,  or send me a personal message.

In this solo episode I talk about the Inside Out Paradigm through this short episode you can gain an understanding of how our mind works.

This model/paradigm has helped me immensely, actually, I will go far as saying that it was freeing to discover that everything starts and ends with me.

With this understanding I now know where my feelings come from and as a result I know that my thoughts about whatever I think about what people think or might say about me are simply made up and not reliable.  If you listen you will understand what I am talking about ;). 

I now know that I do not need anyone's permission to be myself, the only person to give me permission I seek is me.

I invite you to listen and if you feel that someone could benefit from these conversations please share them.  You never know who might listen.

If you would love to be a guest, or if you know someone who would be a great guest, please get in touch via email,  or send me a personal message.

Considering that Mira is relatively young, in my eyes she already has had a rich and varied experience of life. Simply just repeating all the names of the places that she lived had me out of breath.  This conversation is jam-packed with gold, its one insight after the other.

Here is a very short summary of the conversation:

"Trusting yourself is constant learning. Sometimes you fail in the things you think you know but then you learn." Mira Griffiths.

How much of your life do you think that you are planning?

In how far do you trust your thinking?

How are you being congruent with yourself?

Are you doing things that you want to do rather than what others think you should do?

Are you looking for permission to be You?

If so from whom??

What form of torture are you using to try to be somebody else??

Are you allowing yourself to be wrong?

Are you allowing yourself to fail?

Give yourself permission to be wrong.

Give yourselves permission to fail.

I invite you to listen and if you feel that someone could benefit from these conversations please share them.  You never know who might listen.

If you would love to be a guest, or if you know someone who would be a great guest, please get in touch via email,  or send me a personal message.

Miroslava is her full name: Miro means peace and Slava means celebration.

Considering that Mira is relatively young, in my eyes she already has had a rich and varied experience of life. Simply just repeating all the names of the places that she lived had me out of breath.  This conversation is jam-packed with gold, its one insight after the other.

Here is a very short summary of the conversation:

"Trusting yourself is constant learning. Sometimes you fail in the things you think you know but then you learn." Mira Griffiths. 

How much of your life do you think that you are planning?

In how far do you trust your thinking?

How are you being congruent with yourself?

Are you doing things that you want to do rather than what others think you should do?

Are you looking for permission to be You?

If so from whom??

What form of torture are you using to try to be somebody else??

Are you allowing yourself to be wrong?

Are you allowing yourself to fail?

Give yourself permission to be wrong.

Give yourselves permission to fail.

I invite you to listen and if you feel that someone could benefit from these conversations please share them.  You never know who might listen.

If you would love to be a guest, or if you know someone who would be a great guest, please get in touch via email,  or send me a personal message

Farah has such a wonderful way of expressing herself. She turns drama into a hilarious story, she really had me in fits.

Amongst other things she spoke about motherhood and how she thought she should be to be a good mother. That is all I am giving away.

Here are some questions for you to ponder:

What and how do you have to be a good mother?

How high have you set the bar for yourself? This applies to anything in your life!!

What image are you holding of how you should be?

We hold on to images until we realize that there is nothing to hold onto.

You have an internal compass or an internal navigator, do you listen to it?

Are you settling for anything even though you are unhappy? If so, stop, right now and ask yourself why??

We are spiritual beings having a human experience, as much as I know this to be true,  we are not superhuman. Stop take a rest and for goodness sake, stop beating yourself up.

I invite you to listen and if you feel that someone could benefit from these conversations please share them.  You never know who might listen.

If you would love to be a guest, or if you know someone who would be a great guest, please get in touch via email,  or send me a personal message.

In spite of feeling uncomfortable and somewhat afraid  she still decided to be my guest and for that I am truly grateful. Thank you Jen

We had an easy going discussion, amongst other things, about how she tried to keep peace in what she called a 'chaotic household'!

What is your number one surviving skill?

What is your go to emotion when you feel threatened?

What are you still doing now, today, in this moment that does not serve you any longer?

Is it comfortable for you to play a role? Or has it become exhausting?

How does your body speak to you?

Do you listen to the cues that your body gives you?

Last but not least my difficulty with the word 'authenticity'.

Do you find joy in being authentically you?

Finally a wonderful insight from Jen which is almost at the end of the conversation.  Wait for it.

I invite you to listen and if you feel that someone could benefit from these conversations please feel free to share them. Definitely worth a listen, even if I say so myself ;)

If you would love to be a guest, or if you know someone who would be a great guest, please get in touch via email,  or send me a personal message.

In this Episode

This conversation made me think about a quote by Carl Jung which I saw earlier on this week: 'If the path before you is clear, you're probably on someone else's. Mayda makes a short but powerful reference to this.

What are you saying yes to?

Could it be that your need to succeed is actually just you trying to prove that you are worthy?

How far will you go before you stop and realise that you have got nothing to prove?

In spite of having everything, is there a small part of you that is dying or are you still feeling empty?

Have you been driven to achieve, to produce, to bring in more revenues, whatever the case maybe and forgotten what joy feels like?

Are you stuck in the corporate rat race?

What has to happen for you to stop and do something different??

I invite you to listen and if you feel that someone could benefit from these conversations please feel free to share them.

If you would love to be a guest, or if you know someone who would be a great guest, please get in touch via email,  or send me a personal message.