Permission with Dr. Sherry Walling

Sherry and Rob reveal their plans for their first course (FounderFamily: Date Night Bootcamp) and talk about some of the ups/downs and unique challenges entrepreneurial couples face.

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Episode Transcript

Rob:

So the book The Entrepreneurs Guide to Keeping Your [beep] Together currently in the process of being converted to Kindle and we already obviously the manuscript’s finish. We got a proof of the book printed out, or you know, a full print copy. Cover looks great. Kindle is in the works. We already recorded the audio version. We can’t upload that until Amazon had … this and that, so it just seems to be one more week waiting on something.

 

During that time we are prepping our first course. It’s called Founder Family Date Night Bootcamp. I know you’re putting a ton of time into research and writing. We don’t have a landing page yet but if you’re interested in what is essentially gonna be a video course with other materials of Sherry and I talking through how to stay connected with your spouse, your significant other, through date nights and through being deliberate because as founders, if we’re not deliberate we can go months just thinking about our business, and not paying attention to the people around us, the people that matter. So, it’s gonna be a look at how to stay connected through date nights. We will send updates via the mailing list. If you’re not on it, zenfounder.com and you’ll see the cool little Drip widget in the upper right.

Sherry:

Yeah, you can tell I’m in deep work because my desk is a mess.

Rob:

It’s a train wreck.

Sherry:

I have piles of books. I have Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson. The Five Love Languages, of course. Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. I have like, 10 books on my desk and then I have four mugs, three water glasses, one martini glass, four takeaway coffee cups. It’s like a bar/library all on my desk.

Rob:

I was cleaning up the office this week and … this weekend and tidying mine up, and I turned and looked at yours, and it was like a scene in a movie. The record skipped, and I just pretty much just backed out of the office. Just-

Sherry:

Just walk away, walk away man.

Rob:

Not gonna touch that.

Sherry:

I have read some people post things on social media that say that studies show that messy people are smart. Or like, messiness is correlated with intelligence, but I have not read the original research, so I probably should not be spreading pop culture lies.

Rob:

Right, you’re quoting the internet as your source.

Sherry:

I did that. I did that. Let the record reflect that I did that.

 

So anyway, all these books and drinking glasses have meant that I’ve been thinking a lot about couple life. Particularly trying to think about the unique experiences that entrepreneurial couples face, and some of the unique challenges that make family life trickier for those of us who are starting and running our own businesses. I think, we know that there are some mental health uniqueness’s and some value and existential differences in the way that entrepreneur’s view their lives, and I do think there are also some significant defenses in family life.

 

That’s where I’m trying to think through, and iron out, and IR

Rob does a solo episode talking about productivity. Specifically how to have more output without more effort. The episode surrounds three books he recommends on the topic as well as some bonus  book recommendations on investing.

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Sleep Smarter

Deep Work

The Productivity Project

Sherry and Rob talk about the importance of having hard conversations and how to do it well. They break down the process and discuss how to prepare to have these conversations, things to be mindful of during these kinds of conversations, and how to end the conversations.

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Episode Transcript

Sherry Walling:

So, I see that you made your Zencastr name Captain Macho.

Rob Walling:

I just [inaudible 00:00:09] wouldn’t accept Rob tonight so I had to make something up.

Sherry Walling:

Wow, it’s going to be an interesting night. So, a night recording. We almost never night record.

Rob Walling:

It’s because they go off the rails, things go catastrophic. People unsubscribe and rage quit.

Sherry Walling:

People rage quit our podcast. Well, it was Martin Luther King, Jr. Day this week and the kids were off school, so our normal Monday recording time didn’t really work. This is going to be a hoot because it’s late at night because we’re tired.

Rob Walling:

The kids are in bed but not asleep, and we’re just a little loopy. Not super loopy, but loopy enough that it’s going to be a good evening.

Sherry Walling:

Yeah, I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling very experimental tonight.

Rob Walling:

Oh, yeah?

Sherry Walling:

Yeah. I mean, this is going to blow your mind. Are you ready?

Rob Walling:

Yes.

Sherry Walling:

I put chocolate soy milk in my mint tea.

Rob Walling:

Whoa!

Sherry Walling:

I know, right?

Rob Walling:

Mind blown.

Sherry Walling:

I was sort of hoping it would taste like-

Rob Walling:

Chocolate mint?

Sherry Walling:

Chocolate mint candies.

Rob Walling:

That was not what I thought you were going to say, but okay. That’s great.

Sherry Walling:

What were you hoping I would say?

Rob Walling:

Just that we were going to experiment with a new podcast format.

Sherry Walling:

Okay, let’s talk about podcasts.

Rob Walling:

It’s going to be good.

Sherry Walling:

Speaking of marital bliss, that was an awesome transition. We are putting together the framework for a course that will be about founder families, and how to be awesome at your business and how to stay connected to the people that you care about.

Rob Walling:

Right, and it’s not just a framework, it’s going to be an actual course to help people … is it loved ones or is it significant others?

Sherry Walling:

It’s significant others.

Rob Walling:

Yeah, so this one is not about kids, but if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, a spouse, significant other, a partner of any kind it’s how to run your business and also stay connected with that person. It’s a framework blueprint. It’s a course to help you do that better.

Sherry Walling:

And my intention i

Sherry interviews Ryan Tansom of Life After Business podcast about the experience selling of his business. They discuss the process and pain he went through and the way those tough experiences spawned his new business. He’s built a second act aimed at helping entrepreneurs make their exit a success.

Ryan’s website, My Solidity

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Episode Transcript

Rob Walling:

Welcome to this weeks episode of ZenFounder. Two announcements before we get started. The first is that this week is the last week to sign up for the current Zen Tribe. If you go to zenfounder.com/zentribes you can get more information but Zen Tribes are groups of 6 to 8 entrepreneurs who commit to meeting weekly for eight weeks. Sherry leads you remotely via, I think it’s Zoom these days and offers the place, people, time, and guidance to tackle the unique struggles and challenges that you experience as an entrepreneur. So if you feel like you need some community with other founders, like you’re out there floating on your own, and you need to connect with other folks and kind of be guided into that next phase of entrepreneurship, now is the time to head to zenfounder.com/zentribes

 

In addition, the book is coming out very soon. The book is The Entrepreneurs Guide to Keeping Your [inaudible 00:00:53] Together. How To Run Your Business Without Letting It Run You. And the book is about learning how to master your stress, dismiss your fears, and rapidly accelerate your business growth. So it’s a lot of what we talk about here on ZenFounder and a lot that we haven’t talked about. It’s so much of the knowledge and wisdom that Sherry and I have learned from interviewing founders, being founders ourselves, and from Sherry’s deep knowledge of what it takes and the stress that surrounds being a founder. So if you haven’t signed up zenfounder.com/book will get you to the book landing page. I would highly encourage you to check it out because we’re going to be launching in the next few weeks. There’s a print version, there’s going to be a kindle version, audio version, all the things you want and you want to be first on that list to hear about it.

 

And finally, this weeks episode of ZenFounder is Sherry interviewing Ryan Tansom of The Life After Business podcast. It’s a great interview and I hope you enjoy it.

Sherry Walling:

Well Ryan it is so great to have you on the show. Thanks for taking the time to talk with me. And we met at Rhodium Weekend last fall, which was a great conference. Both you and I were part of the speaking docket that year and unfortunately I didn’t get to hear your talk. But I got to talk with you enough to know that I want to talk with you more. So it’s been fun to get to know you a little bit since we are both Minneapolis based.

Ryan Tansom:

Yeah, I’m glad I’m on the show.

Sherry Walling:

Yeah! So I am excited to learn more about your story and talk about the process of reinventing yourself a couple different times as a professional, even at a young age. So, maybe we could start out just by giving us the kind of the short version of these two companies that you have been deeply part of. One you sold and one you’re now starting from scratch. So what’s the quick road map of your life of a professional so far?

Ryan Tansom:

Keep it brief, right? My dad

Sherry talks with Renee Warren of The Family Academy, about how she and her husband, Dan Martell, have structured their two-founder family. With two on-fire careers and two kiddos, it takes some strategizing to create space for everyone in the family to flourish (and also stay connected).

Episode Transcript

Sherry Walling:

Hi everybody, Happy New Year! So excited that it is 2018 and that 2017 is a thing of the past. We are cooking up some great things for the year ahead.

 

One of the things that Rob and I are going to do is be more in touch with our email list. So if you are interested in kind of inside stories about some of the topics that we cover on ZenFounder or if you want to learn more about what we’re doing, where we’re speaking, where we’re gonna be showing up, we are working hard to bring some value to your inbox, just a couple times a month. Like two to three emails a month is what we’re going for. So if that’s something that you would like to have happen, feel free to sign up. It’s on our website at ZenFounder.com. And it’s low-risk. If you are irritated or you feel we’re emailing too much, you just unsubscribe.

 

One other thing that is happening right now is that we are forming a January Zen Tribe. If you are wanting to kick off 2018 by connecting with some other entrepreneurs, some other people who are curating their own lives by starting their own businesses, tribes are a group of about eight entrepreneurs, usually from different kinds of backgrounds, and it’s kind of an 8 week bootcamp of wellness and mental health and friendship. And we meet weekly for eight weeks. We usually schedule some breaks in there. It has been a really beneficial experience for the people that have gone through it. So if you have questions about Zen Tribe feel free to hit me at up at [email protected].

 

So today we’re gonna talk about starting a new year well, particularly when it comes to thinking about how to set good goals as a family. How to evaluate your family’s well-being and health and then implement strategies to keep a family going strong. And my guest today is Renee Warren. She is a brilliant, determined, realist. She’s the former founder of a popular startup PR firm called Onboardly. She’s written hundreds of articles and ebooks on startup marketing and has helped people get on TV shows and magazines and blogs.

 

Right now she is on a mission to help entrepreneur families gain more freedom in their lives. She is launching something called the Family Academy. And she knows this stuff inside and out. In addition to working professionally with many, many startup founders, she’s also married to Dan Martell, who’s been a guest on this show before, who among other things is the founder of Clarity. So she’s been on this journey both herself, and as a spouse, and as a professional. Sort of sounds familiar.

 

Anyway, Renee lives in Canada with her husband and two boys and she and I have a fabulous conversation and I am excited to share it with you today.

Sherry Walling:

So I am really excited to be talking to you today. And in addition to you being a force in your own right, as somebody who has started multiple businesses, right? And has a history in advertising, and writing, and PR, and just so many important skills, you’re also married to a founder to Dan Martell, who’s been a guest on this podcast before and are a parent. So I resona

Sherry and Rob talk about some of their favorite parts of 2017 and some not so favorite parts. The topics include things they’ve learned, goals accomplished, Apps and technology, and books/TV shows.

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Sherry talks about trying to regain some real meaning through all the holiday “hype” and what it means to feel true joy.

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Sherry and Rob have a discussion about sexual misconduct among people who are in power.  They highlight a few talking points that listeners can use to discuss important conversation with teammates, colleagues, and family members. Given the current climate, its an important topic to be aware of for successful people as well as the danger of becoming entangled in a distorted ego.

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Episode Transcript

Sherry:

I just sent the revisions for the book off this morning.

Rob:

Congratulations. Excited?

Sherry:

I’m not going to be excited until it’s in my hand. Until then. I’m just working.

Rob:

It takes a lot longer than you think it’s going to.

Sherry:

Yup. Yup, that’s true. We had really a lot of feedback about our last episode, when we talked about what life has been like this fall, and talked about the new kiddos in our family. That was really cool, to hear from people who e-mailed or reached out to us on social media. I already felt really supported by our inner circle, but now I feel even extra supported by our wider community, but the ZenFounder community.

Rob:

Yeah, it’s always nice to know that people care and people are following the story and that people are impacted by hearing other folks go through struggles, and not just impacted but … I don’t know, there were a lot of thoughtful responses that I think were really appreciated by us.

Sherry:

We’ve been talking a lot with friends and thinking a lot about this sort of epidemic of news articles about sexual misconduct among people who are in power. We thought we would talk about that today. If you are listening with kiddos, we are going to be talking about the existence of sex and how it’s sometimes misused, so if that’s not a topic you’re ready to discuss with your children today in this moment, then maybe hold off and listen to this podcast when you are in the company of other grownups.

Rob:

Yeah, and as we’ve talked about this, both between you and I as well as with friends, I’m just astounded at the sheer volume of sexual harassment and misconduct claims that are coming out just all at once, over the course of this few months, and all the stuff that has happened over the years, that essentially women now feel like they can come out and tell the truth. The volume of it is just, it’s sickening. For me, it’s shocking and sickening.

Sherry:

I wish it was a little more shocking to me. Part of my life as a psychologist is to talk with people who have been survivors of mistreatment, whether that’s sexual abuse as a child, or assault or harassment as an adult. I mean I think the statistics on this are very, very consistent. It’s about one in four women and one in six men who experience unwanted sexual contact, unwanted sexual attention and some point in their lives. The fact that it’s coming to light and we see this pervasiveness among certain men who are in power is … I wish it was more surprising to me, but it’s not. This kind of thing happens all the time, unfortunately.

Rob:

Yeah, that makes sense, and I think it’s becoming more obvious and it’s playing out as these accusations come out. How do we want to cover it today?

Sherry:

I’ve been thinking a lot about why this happens, like what’s happening. I think about why this happens with the intention of wanting to

Sherry and Rob open up about some of the events that have happened with their family in the last couple months. They talk about how the power of entrepreneurship has helped them tackle hard things and how important it can be to have supportive people in your life.

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Episode Transcript

Sherry Walling:

So one of the highlights of my fall was giving a talk at Business of Software in Boston at the middle of September. It was a great talk. I had a lot of fun, went to the speakers’ dinner, stayed up way too late, drank way too much, hanging out with friends and fellow speakers.

 

And I took a really early flight the next day because there was a hurricane supposedly coming in towards Boston. And I was really tired. I hadn’t slept much. But I’m sitting on the plane. I’ve got my laptop open. And I’m sitting next to this woman who’s going on vacation to Las Vegas. And so she’s chit-chatty, and she’s like, “Have you been to Las Vegas?” And I’m like “Yeah, I have. Like every year.” And at some point I just put my headphones on and stopped engaging with her.

 

And I started crying on the plane, pretty hard. Which was very embarrassing and not really my normal MO, but I was crying because I was writing this document, writing about our family. And writing about all of the things that I love about you and our two boys. And writing about all the things that we would change, or we would lose if I made a decision that I had to make, or that we had to make together.

 

So I’m on the plane, I’ve just given this great talk. And I’m descending into this mess of tears and fear and worry about the future. That was, I think, a Tuesday. I came home on Tuesday, and I turned around, and on Friday I got on a plane, and I flew to California with a question in my mind of whether or not I would return home with two more children.

 

And I think the plane ride after BOS, the plane ride home from Boston, crying on the plane, writing, trying to just put everything out into words, get it out on a piece of paper, so I could sort of sort through how I felt about this decision. That was one of the most sort of pivotal moments for me in the last couple of months.

Rob Walling:

And so today we wanted to talk through what that experience has been like. And I wanted to frame it and structure it around a talk. Actually really a non-talk. It was more of a conversation that I had from the stage of MicroConf Europe that was in Lisbon a few weeks ago and kind of want to talk through, not only that process, but just dive into the power that we have as entrepreneurs and I think a lot of things that we take for granted, and things that we don’t talk about in our space, are things like once you’ve achieved freedom and you run a business, what next?

 

Like that’s the goal for so many people, but what else is there, and what other moral imperative should we feel, both for our families and colleagues, friends, and to the broader world.

Sherry Walling:

I think when I say also that today episode’s sort of intensely personal. You used the term moral imperative, and I think that’s a good term to use. But it’s also one that is personal, like one that really reflects one’s own individual values and approach to life. So we’re going to talk about what has happened in us and in our family in the last couple of months. But this is us talking about this family situation a

After a recent trip to Rome, Sherry talks about the restorative nature of her trip. With the holidays coming up she talks about the importance of finding a way to connect with what resets/restores you and shares tips on how to do so.

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