It's the first heat wave of 2026, which means Jake took to the streets for his first round of Pit Stops, smelling people's armpits with his new Meta Glasses. He smelled the pits of a giant man who just got off a boat and an exotic dancer named "La."

We complained about good-gooders in Don't Be A Dick: Good Samaritans, shining a spotlight on people who hold the door open when you're really far away and people who over-post their good deeds. Vanessa told us a story about being upsold at a nail salon, Ally shared her concerns about her own parenting when her kid showed up with a girl's helmet to his first t-ball game, and Johnny got an 'impossible' math question during Johnny Doesn't Know. Shoutout Brian!

Also, share your terrifying ski stories with Vanessa. We're gearing up for our trip to Colorado later this week and she plans to rawdog her first ski experience with zero training!