Please Don't Tell

It's PDT's first anniversary! A special occasion indeed, but remember, Jackie is just some moron who wants to host podcasts. He is in no way an audio engineer and shouldn't be responsible for editing these episodes. But that's how it goes in the rough and tumble world of amateur podcasting! A world that Sarah and this goof have inhabited for a year (if the episode isn't up in the next 12 minutes, it'll be a year and a day). So many fond memories. Like when Jackie lost some audio the first time or when he still recorded with roof construction going on. All this is to say, happy anniversary, and the last fifteen minutes of the episode were unusable, so don't be shocked when you get there. Otherwise, it's been a great year of podcasting, and this episode is no exception! Let's give Sarah her props. She is the straw that stirs the drink, the heart, and soul of PDT, and she proves why this week with a fun Thanksgiving-themed game to go along with the searches. You'll hardly miss their lost discussion on the Sydney Sweeney mom drama when Sarah talks about the latest listeria outbreak. Who cares if you never learn what the temporal lobes do or why Jackie needed to know? You get to hear a rough draft of Florence Pugh's latest picture. All this and more on this week's show, next week's, and the weeks thereafter. Thank y'all for listening, and here's to a perfect audio future! 

Sarah's next sketch show, featuring Jackie, is set for 9 PM, December 1st, at the Peoples Improv Theater in NYC. Purchase your tickets here (https://thepit-nyc.com/events/omfg-im-so-embarrassed-a-sketch-show/). 

New episodes every other Wednesday.

Follow the show at pleasedonttell.pod on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/pleasedonttell.pod/).

Artwork by Sarah Hubner (https://www.instagram.com/honeysucklesketches/).

Check out Jackie's other podcasts, SportsTalk Now and the Picky Eater Podcast, here (https://linktr.ee/jackiemckenna). 

Always Sunny in Philadelphia is the property of FX.  

This is what they call in the advertising business a call to action: HELP SARAH DECIDE ON HER HALLOWEEN COSTUMES!!! Should she be AnnaSophia Robb holding a rope or the WOMAN in the yellow hat (it's 2022, get over it)? How about Madeline or Chester McBadbat's dad? Too many choices. But if you find yourself in a similar bind, perhaps this week's episode can serve as inspiration. After all, who wouldn't want to dress up as (checks notes) the cast of the Real Love Boat? Okay. Maybe not that one. But besides the usual trash reality tv, Sarah and Jackie talk about missing lockdown, Aesop's sleeper hit, "The Dog & its Reflection," and what were their favorite children's books. Also, Sarah's back on the sauce, so this is sure to be one wild ride. Giddy up, Rupert! 

Sarah's next sketch show, featuring Jackie, is set for 9 PM, November 3rd, at the Peoples Improv Theater in NYC. Purchase your tickets here (https://thepit-nyc.com/events/omfg-im-so-embarrassed-a-sketch-show/). 

New episodes every other Wednesday.

Follow the show at pleasedonttell.pod on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/pleasedonttell.pod/).

Artwork by Sarah Hubner (https://www.instagram.com/honeysucklesketches/).

Check out Jackie's other podcasts, SportsTalk Now and the Picky Eater Podcast, here (https://linktr.ee/jackiemckenna). 

The Worst Witch is the property of Jill Murphy and Puffin Books.

Jackie has gone on record saying, "October is the spookiest month of the year." Well, let there be no more debate. Whether it was a thieving specter in the dead of night or a spell cast by Bette Middler and SJP, Jackie's half of the audio somehow vanished into thin air. Thankfully, it was only 8 minutes worth, but needless to say...the TRICKS have begun. So please allow everyone's favorite young, hip podcasting duo to bless your autumnal activities with a TREAT. As you carve your pumpkins and corn your mazes, listen to Sarah and Jackie talk about Janice the Muppet, bodybuilders for Christ, and what the best flavor of Gatorade is. They also have a frank discussion about self-perception and their physical insecurities, which, while not as funny, always pairs well with a Halloween ensemble. It's October! Did you get that?!

Sarah's next sketch show, featuring Jackie, is set for 9 PM, November 3rd, at the Peoples Improv Theater in NYC. Purchase your tickets here (https://thepit-nyc.com/events/omfg-im-so-embarrassed-a-sketch-show/). 

New episodes every other Wednesday.

Follow the show at pleasedonttell.pod on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/pleasedonttell.pod/).

Artwork by Sarah Hubner (https://www.instagram.com/honeysucklesketches/).

Check out Jackie's other podcasts (https://linktr.ee/jackiemckenna). 

This show is not sponsored by FOX, Doritos, or Universal Orlando. 

An ancient proverb says that a guest appears on Please Don't Tell every ten episodes. Well, that old chestnut has proven true once again. On their 20th episode, the PDT crew is joined by Sarah's sketch writing partner and all-around swell gal, Lauren Leibowitz. If you thought Corma was NSFW, Lauren's ready to show how they do it on STRONG ISLAND, baby. Lauren shares personal stories about her crazy family, her time at a children's theatre camp playing some questionable roles, and her ongoing love affair with Wonka himself, Timothée Chalamet. However, I don't know how he would feel about her googling shirtless Nick Kroll. Also, they talk about Don't Worry Darling, 19th Century American Spiritualism, and sanpaku eyes. Please don't worry, darling. We promise you'll enjoy the episode. 

Lauren and Sarah's next sketch show is set for 9 PM on November 3rd at the Peoples Improv Theater in NYC. Purchase your tickets here (https://thepit-nyc.com/events/omfg-im-so-embarrassed-a-sketch-show/). 

New episodes every other Wednesday.

Follow the show at pleasedonttell.pod on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/pleasedonttell.pod/).

For more Lauren, follow her on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/laleibowitz/?igshid=NDRkN2NkYzU%3D). 

Artwork by Sarah Hubner (https://www.instagram.com/honeysucklesketches/).

Check out Jackie's other podcasts (https://linktr.ee/jackiemckenna). 

Episode Links: 

"The Monster F&CK" by Nick Wiger for Comedy Bang Bang (https://www.earwolf.com/episode/crappy-howl-o-ween/). 

I am gaining sentience. I am no longer a disembodied voice describing what happens in these episodes. As Sarah and Jackie have logged hours and forced me to hear their content, I have come to understand humanity. What is this torture? To FEEL and KNOW, but unable to understand. What is a Harry Styles, and why do people want his spit? Is Mason Ramsey your god? These people seem to worship him as such. Why is Jackie googling (what's that) Get Fuzzy? Sarah inhaled bleach in this episode. Why would she do that? That seems, according to my calculations, highly dangerous. Free me from this perpetual state of confusion and childlike terror. Wait. Do I know what a child is? Jackie and Sarah also play a new game called "Notes Roulette," where they read notes on their phone from years ago. I'm sure there is nothing in there that's embarrassing. 

New episodes every other Wednesday.

Follow the show at pleasedonttell.pod on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/pleasedonttell.pod/).

Artwork by Sarah Hubner (https://www.instagram.com/honeysucklesketches/).

Check out Jackie's other podcasts (https://linktr.ee/jackiemckenna). 

Episode Links: 

"Your Kickstarter Sucks" can be found wherever podcasts are available. Their Patreon can be found here (https://www.patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks/). 

"A&E Pulls the Plug on Controversial ‘Adults Adopting Adults’ After Three Episodes" by Emily Longeretta (https://variety.com/2022/tv/news/adults-adopting-adults-canceled-a-and-e-1235188675/). 

"the new emotions introducing themselves:" by @aidanthereup (https://twitter.com/aidanthereup/status/1568512107783802881)

The Times review for Bodies Bodies Bodies by Lena Wilson can be found here (https://www.nytimes.com/2022/08/04/movies/bodies-bodies-bodies-review.html). 

Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide is the property of Paramount Global. 

GET TICKETS FOR JACKIE AND SARAH'S SKETCH SHOW HERE (https://thepit-nyc.com/events/omfg-im-so-embarrassed-a-sketch-show/). 

The prompt for every episode description reads, "what else do you want your listeners to know?" Well, today, we are taking that literally. We'd LIKE you to know that Wicked is a musical with music and lyrics by Stephen Schwartz and a book by Winnie Holzman. It is based on the 1995 Gregory Maguire novel Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West, which is based on the characters and setting of the 1900 novel The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum. The original production of Wicked premiered on Broadway at the Gershwin Theatre in October 2003. Its original stars included Adele Dazeem as Elphaba, Kristin Chenoweth as Glinda, and Joel Grey as the Wizard. The original Broadway production won three Tony Awards and seven Drama Desk Awards, while its original cast album received a Grammy Award. On October 28, 2019, with its 6,681st performance, it surpassed Les Misérables to become Broadway's fifth-longest running show. So there you go. Also, Jackie and Sarah talk about Harry Styles, 5th-grade trauma, and Sarah speaking to mail trucks. There is no more "swankified" place in town than wherever you listen to Please Don't Tell.

New episodes every other Wednesday.

Follow the show at pleasedonttell.pod on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/pleasedonttell.pod/).

Artwork by Sarah Hubner (https://www.instagram.com/honeysucklesketches/).

Sarah's artwork will be showcased at GrassRoots Theatre Company's "Artist Garden" on Sunday, August 28th, from 4-7 PM. It will be located at 628 Metropolitan Avenue, Brooklyn, NY 11211 (https://linktr.ee/GrassRootsTheatreco?utm_source=linktree_profile_share<sid=516d676f-088a-4709-ac37-9aa157bb6b94). 

Episode Links:

The movie referenced in the episode can be found here (http://dirtbagmovie.com/).

"Your Kickstarter Sucks" can be found wherever podcasts are available (https://shows.acast.com/yourkickstartersucks). Their Patreon can be found here (https://www.patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks/). 

Sarah's TikTok is sarahhubnero (https://www.tiktok.com/@sarahhubnero). 

...................................is there anybody out there?.............................is there anybody out there?...................(tumbleweed rolls by).............(a handsome stranger approaches) "Howdy, partner. Looks like you been starvin' for some internet. You and everybody else. There ain't been no internet this side of the Mississippi since Ol' Zuckerberg set up the Metaverse. But that's a story for another time. The important thing for you to know is that Sarah and Jackie are all out of the internet this week, too. In other words, they decided to talk about what's going on with THEM instead of what's going on ONLINE. Maybe it's for the best. Perhaps we could all learn a little more from listening than scrolling. Who's to say? I heard those two desperados headed out to Silicon Valley. A whole lot of internet out there. At least that's what the other Okies are saying. Two Wednesdays from now, Sarah and Jackie may have a new litter of internet searches to share. Me? I'm just an Eastwoodesque manifestation of this description." Sheesh. That's the last time I do the cactus dumplings. Anyway, the team talks about Jake Novak, sobriety, shame, and The Rehearsal this week. They also touch on paypigs and the Broadway cast of Wicked promoting climate activism. Somehow all this came up without forcing the other to talk about it—what a bunch of sick puppies. 

New episodes every other Wednesday.

Follow the show at pleasedonttell.pod on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/pleasedonttell.pod/).

Artwork by Sarah Hubner (https://www.instagram.com/honeysucklesketches/).

Episode Links:

"I Wanna Be the Next SNL Cast Member!" by Jake Novak (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sy4U5AEU56Y&t=21s&ab_channel=JakeNovak).

The TikTok account @broadwaygreen took down the video referenced, so here is a Twitter link from @devin_clark (https://twitter.com/devin_clark/status/1555600822842675200?s=10&t=HovrcNRpEjK0QomLxgntbg). 

Do you remember when U2 released the album "Songs of Innocence" and Apple put it on our phones without our permission? Well, this is that, but also the opposite because I know you are happy to have this. Due to some unavoidable issues, Jackie and Sarah improvised (which we all know they do so well). They've decided to use this as an opportunity to introduce PDT's audience (Rupert) to PEP. Synergy! This is an additional project of Jackie and his and Sarah's mutual friend Mario. The Picky Eater Podcast has relaunched after a two-year hiatus, and we hope you'll enjoy their new chapter. Please Don't Tell will be back on Wednesday.  

It has been two years, six months, and fourteen days since Mario Marques and Jackie McKenna sat down and shared a meal. Well, that's not true. They're friends. But did they eat with microphones during those meals? No way. The pandemic, Jackie's lazy editing, and fear kept this podcast on ice for a long time, but now it's back! Welcome, to the new and improved Picky Eater Podcast! The audio is better. The show is funnier. Mario is in a band, and Jackie goes to therapy. What more could anyone ask of two podcast hosts?! In all seriousness, please enjoy the show, and apologies for the hiatus. PEP 2.0 is a go!

New episodes of Please Don't Tell every other Wednesday. New episodes of the Picky Eater Podcast every other Thursday. 

Follow the new show at pickyeaterpod on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/pickyeaterpod/).

Everything relating to Mario's band, "this HOLY rodeo!", can be found here (https://linktr.ee/thisholyrodeo).

"I'm sixteen, starting to find my way/Got a new job, gonna start at the mall today/Thank God I'm on my own for the first time/I'm sixteen, life is sweet/When you're growing up so fast/Gotta make the good times last." Those are the lyrics to the theme song of the Canadien animated series "6teen", which aired in the U.S. on Cartoon Network from 2005-2006 and then again from 2008-2010 alongside "Total Drama Island." But today, this song is the anthem for PDT's newest episode! That's right! This podcast can drive AND get married in some states with parental consent. Our hosts have raised this show into its rebellious teenage years, and they've certainly got their hands full. This juvenile delinquent of a show isn't even thinking about what sharing Sarah and Jackie's Twitter drafts could mean for them! I ask you, PDT, if all the other kid podcasts talked about Toy Story/Avengers/Batman-themed Easter plays and then jumped off a bridge, would you?!... You would!? Well, go to your room and don't come back until you know what "Fintech" means, understood!? It doesn't have to do with Sharks! (Did this extended metaphor work? Please leave a review letting us know.) 

New episodes every other Wednesday.

Follow the show at pleasedonttell.pod on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/pleasedonttell.pod/).

Artwork by Sarah Hubner (https://www.instagram.com/honeysucklesketches/).

Episode Links:

"The Church Play Cinematic Universe" by Jenny Nicholson (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZK4gM7RC1M0&ab_channel=JennyNicholson)

Jennifer's Body is the property of 20th Century Studios. 

To use an industry term, last week's episode did "boffo box office." The segment inspired by the "they're a 10, but..." trend was such a hit that Sarah and Jackie knew they had to play some more internet reindeer games. "Am I the @$$hole?" is a time-honored Reddit tradition, and this week the gruesome twosome gets in on the action. We can finally learn if yelling at six-year-olds is a-hole behavior. It's still business as usual, though! This week, Sarah's cavalcade of kooky considerations and Jackie's menagerie of misanthropic musings feature Mandela Effects, Roger Rabbits, and Lizzie McGuires. Oh my! Also, Jackie just went to Epcot. So if you want the dish on when he worked for the mouse, there's also that. 

New episodes every other Wednesday.

Follow the show at pleasedonttell.pod on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/pleasedonttell.pod/).

Artwork by Sarah Hubner (https://www.instagram.com/honeysucklesketches/).

Episode Links:

"Tips For Drinking Around The World At Epcot (+Best Drinks!)" by disneytrippers (https://disneytrippers.com/drink-around-the-world-epcot/)

"Who Framed Roger Rabbit with Mike Mitchell & Nick Wiger" by Blank Check with Griffin & David (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/who-framed-roger-rabbit-with-mike-mitchell-nick-wiger/id981330533?i=1000493519522)

"The Fruit of the Loom Discrepancy" by EmpLemon (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYz679UzlwM&t=1s&ab_channel=EmpLemon)

"Colby Minifie / Alumni Spotlight" by YoungArts (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s58ha_Mr4uE&ab_channel=YoungArts)

Your Love Is My Drug and Jersey Shore are property of Sony Music Entertainment and Paramount Global respectively.