Plumbing the Death Star

We’re joined by special guest Mia Moore to talk about the worst day to be Groundhog’d Day’d into! Zammit doesn’t understand travel time and runs into a lot of hurdles trying to ruin history, JD has a goal of becoming the news with his brand new “carton of cigarette challenge”, Mia doesn’t want to disappoint her 8 year old son on the day they go see Shrek 3 and Jackson just wants to be inside his mother. Listen to this one on repeat to really simulate being stuck in a time-loop and while you’re coming to grips with Jackson’s womb wants go and support Mia’s film Again Again on indiegogo! Just click the link or search for Again Again movie on google!

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Hot blood bad, be lizard! Want rock? Want warm rock? Warm rock good! Lizard thoughts best thoughts. Better than horse thoughts. Human bad. Smooth and disgusting. Be lizard, it easy. Want fly, want warm, I remember my life as a man with all the beauty and heartache that goes with understanding this world but now I’m stuck in this lizard body with no way of expressing the feelings of dread and longing that makes up my existence, go to rock, close to warm. It good. Warm good. Have lizard wife. She good. Love is good. Lizard is good.

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Oh no! Didn’t you hear? That mushroom that wrecks ant lives is now wrecking ours! Throw that sloppy burger on the ground, pick through it for only the meat bits (and maybe some lettuce) while we try and figure how long we’d last in this clicker infested wasteland that is the Last of Us. Jackson wants to entertain the people with a five step plan that involves finding a dead clown, Zammit also wants to entertain the people but without a dead clown and more ego and JD joins the fireflies just for something to do. So jump in that working truck a dear uncle gave us and avoid getting bricked in the back of the head, we have circuses and Blockbusters to raid!

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It’s time to lawyer up as the boys put on their cheapest suits and form the shoddiest of arguments to defend some of the worst criminals known to man. Zammit asks the court if Smurfs are basically chickens and just how wrong eating said chickens is, JD queries if doing nothing is a crime even though the crime his clients are accused of is doing nothing and Jackson brings forth the wild allegation that if the Big Wheel was not named Jackson Wheel he would never have made a Big Wheel to terrorize the city of New York. There’s nothing but contempt of court as surprise witnesses are called to the stand as the defendants all hope for a mistrial.

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We all know Tarzan being raised by ape was inevitable, but what if different ape?? Confused by the theory of evolution, the boys become wary of making apes too clever and get scared by what comes next. Zammit puts forward Bigfoot with their skills of hide and seek, Jackson suggests the Wifeless Wonder himself, Gorilla Grodd and his need for a human to be the face of his criminal empire while JD looks at the coconut throwing jewel thief that is Dunston from Dunston Checks In and how that orangutan cannot handle any form of criticism. But be it Bigfoot, Gorilla Grodd or Dunston we should all be thankful that Tarzan wasn’t raised by the worst real ape: mandrill. A horrible and nasty creature. Loathed by all and the closest we have on god’s green earth that resembles a xenomorph. If all dogs go to heaven, every mandrills goes to hell, where they flourish.

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Oh no! The boys have some terrible news and need to make money quick to avoid the dreaded Stage 5: Heaven! An honest living is out of the question so hold up and let them crook, the boys are about to break bad. Jackson’s inability to swallow a pill once more ruins his life, Zammit decides to embezzle from a podcast company (like in real) and Duscher makes the perfect Kickstarter. Full of impeccable impressions, pickmans and Tax Goodmans, this episode really asks the important question if we’ve hit a creative height or creative low. Let us know what you think! And of course, house turd fish.

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If you can’t trust a little boy with the powers of Shazam, who can you trust?! In reality the powers of Seus, Heus, Aeus, Zeus, Aues (again) and Meus was given to the sad, lonely and despicable Billy Batson by a misguided and potentially evil Wizard but fear not! Because we’re here to finally right this wrong. We go over several pathways like giving Shazam a carer to giving the most pure of heart (a dog) godlike powers to varying degrees of success to finally turning inwards and giving ourselves the powers of the gods to fix all our aches and pains. We don’t fight the devil but we also no longer groan when we get out of a chair so we’d call that a big win in our books.

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Remember to slip on your comfortable jeans, slop up a big heaping bowl of spaghetti, slap down for sale sign to encourage potential wealthy investors, seek out the best antique forgers known to man and slide on down to the beach that makes you old as we try and nut out what to do with such a unique and naturally occurring phenomena. The boys keep sending good money after bad to make it good as they each put forward their own harebrained scheme to exploit the beach that makes things old. Jackson never once waivers from his antiquing scheme, Zammit in a huff tries to offload a depreciating asset and Duscher does his part for the environment. And of course if you could please like, comment and subscribe to Spaghettima Sins and don’t forget to hit that bell so you never miss an episode. Ding.

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Our pockets are stuffed with quarters and we’ve got a gaming itch to scratch! Forget Timezone, let’s all head down to the arcade that kills you, put on the oculus rift that explodes our head and fire up Star Wars Episode I: Racer to finally experience podracing as it was truly meant to be played. The boys fight over the one brain cell that isn’t even there as they try to figure out how they’d die like a Mario, wonder what happens to a brain when it’s bit by many rattlesnakes and predict one of the trio’s many bus related deaths. Meet you at the arcade fellas!

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Be it cosmic ray, genie’s wish or just a thing that happens, the boys have somehow gotten all the powers of Superman and now have to answer if great power does in fact come with great responsibility. Jackson immediately wanders off to commit brain surgery while the Joels try and see what they can do for NASA. We all try different ways to take Zammit’s wife for a nice holiday to Hawaii, realize our cats wouldn’t understand Italy and maybe the best way to deal with all these powers is to become a symbol of peace through war by being the benevolent dictator you know and love. It’s Super Coke Cock Man v Space Joels in a battle for humanity as we’ve all got zero consequences and zero drive so who really cares?

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