Plumbing the Death Star

It would really suck if Superman peeled off the roof of the White House and stole the President and flew him in a figure 8 above the White House. What’s that? Superman peeled off the roof of the White House and stole the President and now he’s flying the President in a figure 8 above the White House? Doesn’t he know he’ll make the President dizzy! That’s one of the top 5 things you shouldn’t do to a President! Thankfully we have a Suicide Squad to save the day! Deadshot shot Superman once so surely he can do it again? Enchantress can maybe possess Superman but is this worse for humanity? Either way we have some harebrained schemes to save our beloved President from their dizzy fate from Doomsdaying the whole Squad, to pushing Harley off a building, to getting a gun that fires swords. Right now we have a very important mission and there are no bad ideas. Up to and including voting Killer Croc for president of New America.

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JD and Jackson recently went on a trip to Sydney, leaving Zammit at home and bringing friend of the show Hayden Bleechmore! After seeing Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3 in ultra 4D where they had their dick and nuts blown clean off, they had some questions about the High Evolutionary. Recorded live from the car on the drive home, the boys do their best to go over the High Evolutionary's plans, try to make the perfect being using the gills of mammalian sea creatures and the wheels of a car and make the argument that making meth is art. Safety first, so buckle up and take the passenger seat while JD drives us home as Hayden and Jackson bicker in the backseat. You best be on your best behaviour or he will turn this whole podcast around.

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Ruby Innes has stopped by the studio to look at fictional pets and discuss which one would be the worst to train. Jackson looks at the confusing world of Disney and the problems of owning a dog who is maybe a guy and having a guy friend who is maybe a dog, JD hates his quick rat pet, Ruby makes a compelling case for the world’s worst chef and Zammit plays it safe with a lasagne loving cat. It’s one for the ages as we ruin a Mega Drive while praising no fault divorce as two of the four hosts crack under pressure. You can follow Ruby on her twitter or see what she's written on Kotaku Australia.

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The boys need some quick cash so hastily wrote “and also Sharks too” on their “will kill the following for $5” sign and as luck would have it the mayor of Amity Island was walking by with a huge Jaws problem! The only catch? They can’t shut down the beach and they’ve only got two days. Zammit’s plans quickly get away from him as dolphins start getting dressed up as sexy ladies, JD wants to fasten the effects of global warming and Jackson wants to go fishing with him as the worm. It’s Jaws v the boys as they cobble together harebrained scheme after harebrained scheme to get rid of this great white once and for all and earn that $5 (each tho, don’t you dare skimp on that extra tenner Mr. Mayor, we will cause a scene).

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The boys have decided that they could take on Eric, Billy Madison's nemesis, by taking Billy Madison's place in his Academic Decathlon. We present a lot of piss solutions to a big piss problem, play a simple game of 'pigs' to try and endear us to Veronica and burn our thumbs with hot sugar to impress the judges. We're all very confident we could beat a second team all-American Harvard track athlete, make the bold claim that we're at least as smart as a cat (if not smarter) and are all extremely confident we could body a bullet. So join the boys as we don't remember Shakespeare, shoehorn smut into a question about the Industrial Revolution and get taken down by our own hubris. Thanks Veronica for beating the shit out of us. PS Eric drinks his own pee.

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Mazel tov! It's a boy and what a boy indeed! Three proud dads are now given the momentous task of raising Franklin Richards, a boy who can do anything, be anything and change everything. Zammit immediatley gives everyone an unnecessary lore dump before they all wish they had one of those GTA V playing Nightcrawler babies instead, Duscher keeps panicking about puberty and Jackson just wants li'l Frankie to live his best life. So crack open a refreshing can of titty milk and join us in our chaotic journey of dadhood as we try to bargain with our boy to make Coco Pops healthy and then worry when he is a dog.

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Mamma Mia! The Boys broke into the Mushroom Kingdom and got their hands on some of those delicious Mario power-ups, now how will they use them for personal gain or financial profit? Zammit goes invincible to be a crash test dummy and entirely misses the point of ca rash test dummy, Jackson has pervert adventures and JD gets big to go after those high and mighty fire fighters. Join us as we eat those mushrooms and hope they tastes like spaghetti. We’re not saving a Princess because we’re too busy using these power-ups to fire a bunch of cannons into a belly, get stuck in a fridge or rule the free world as the biggest man possible.

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To celebrate the success of Netflix’s hit series Wednesday, the boys imagine life as everyone’s favourite handservant Thing T. Thing! The live-action coming-of-age comedy series Wednesday sees everyone’s favourite maiden of the macabre attempt to master her emerging psychic ability, thwart a monstrous killing spree that has terrorised the local town, and solve the supernatural mystery that embroiled her parents 25 years ago - all while navigating her new and very tangled relationships of the strange and diverse student body. Fans and critics both agree that Jenna Ortega shines in the role as the titular Wednesday whose back must surely be hurting from single-handedly carrying this show! Ortega masterfully brings a touch of vulnerability and teenage angst to the stoic and deadpan character and really is a breath of fresh air to what is arguably a stinker of a show one of Netflix’s most popular shows! So what are you waiting for! Wednesday, streaming now exclusive to Netflix.

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We all know Bugs Bunny. A anthropomorphic grey hare famous for his relaxed and passive personality. A mischievous trickster, chewing on his signature carrot while sprouting his famous catchphrase "Eh, what's up, doc?”. Since his official debut in the 1940s Bugs has appeared in various short films, feature films, compilations, television series, music records, comic books, video games, award shows, amusement park rides, and commercials. When TV Guide compiled a list of the fifty greatest cartoon characters of all time as part of the magazine's 50th anniversary in 2002, Bugs Bunny was given the honour of Number One. As the editor stated “[He] is the best example...of the smart-aleck American comic. He not only is a great cartoon character, he's a great comedian. He was written well. He was drawn beautifully. He has thrilled and made many generations laugh. He is tops.” But that’s the public image. That’s what Bugs wants us to know. When it all comes down it, do we really know Bugs Bunny at all?

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Life as a superhero is often taxing, the hours are long and it sure can be lonely. Plus there’s only so much a single costumed vigilante can do! You can’t join a team because you’re a lone wolf and that would ruin your reputation. Having a partner doesn’t feel right to you as that implies the power dynamic is equal. If only there was some kind of solution where you, a fully grown man, could have a student-teacher relationship with some kind of youth so your authority is respected but you don’t have to deal with all that duty of care nonsense that would prevent you from using them as bait to attract you serial killing nemeses. Boy, do we have some great news! Introducing sidekick! All of the bond you’re craving without any of that pesky responsibility! Need a plucky teen to nimbly cut some wires of a bomb when your big, strong hands would be too strong and powerful to do so? Sidekick! Needs someone to stay behind to ensure the blast doors stay closed when the bomb goes off? Of course you’d do it, but your city needs you! You can’t be the one that dies, you’re the main character! Sidekick! And what about when you’re handling a dangerous bomb like device like a bomb? Can you imagine what would happen if you dropped it? Better shirk that responsibility into softer and more youthful hands. Just call 1800-SIDEKICK for your disposable teen now!

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