PODAWFUL™

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We continue our study of THE MERSH EFFECT on Nightwave's audience by interviewing the absolute biggest Revenge Of The Cis WHITE KNIGHT of them all: Andy's Random Edits. Andy is in every SIMPulator's chat room, he is always in the comments defending QUEEN MERSH from besmershing, and he even creates insanely CRINGE videos of Royce and Mersh as his favorite movie heroes. Now he tells-all to my audience, defending himself by claiming he is NOT a white knight, while reflexively defending Mersh's honor at every turn. He just can't help himself! Can I break this poor, autistic man of his bad habit, or will he be under the Mersh Effect FOREVER?

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The Washington Football Team (Formerly the Washington Redskins, and before that the D.C. Feather Savages) were my local NFL team growing up, and as a Native American man I feel a bit disappointed they are no longer going to use the Redskins name and logo. Having just lost the greatest Twitter handle of all time, @TheNWord, just recently, it has given me an idea. Since nobody is currently using the Redskins name, I figure I can use it on Twitter. In an effort to make a fair trade, I've decided to find a new name and mascot for my home team. Nick Sandmann just won another settlement against the Washington Post for his altercation with Nathan Phillips, so maybe it is time to once again honor Chief Shitting Bull. Or perhaps Jana Schmieding, the Lakota woman who was too fat to ride the Harry Potter ride. Then of course there is the magical indigenous Alpha Lord himself, Drew W. Shield, who is trying to save the realms from the Dark Federation. We explore all our options, have a prank call to Hot Pockets, and dust off a retired Simpsons character for good measure. How, you may ask? Well, hello to you, too.

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Mersh from Nightwave Radio has a certain effect on his audience. He tricks them into this bizarre loyalty club where they are compelled to white knight and simp for him whenever he gets bullied online. I assume its because every Nightwave listener has their own mini-Nightwave show they are trying to sell to the Revenge Of The Cis audience. One of these monotone, e-begging charlatans is named Davey Crocko, and until he came riding in on his shining steed to defend the honor of QUEEN MERSH on Twitter, I had no clue who he was. Now I can't stop studying him and his Pillsbury-can-of-biscuits-shaped head. We dive into THE MERSH EFFECT, what it means to be part of Mersh's camgirl Simpulator fan group, watch Crocko nod off to his own boring streams while possibly strung out on heroin, and get an update on the Wayfair Child Trafficking conspiracy theory. I gave Wayfair a call, and now I have absolute proof that they have a SPECIAL CLUB for the guys who spend THE BIG BUCKS.

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RYAN KATSU RIVERA IS HERE to completely ruin the show! The Dark Future has broken my funny bone. I don't know when to laugh anymore, and I don't know what's funny. The world is completely upside down, cats and dogs livin' together, and I'm just trying to make fun of the internet. BUT EVERYTHING ONLINE IS NOW PANDEMIC AND RIOTS AND RACE WARS, and I'm just... drained from it. I was thinking back to how simple things were in the 90's. America's Funniest Home Videos was sort of the precursor to Youtube, and all it took to make people laugh was a guy hitting his own dick with a rake, and Bob Sagat doing a goofy voice. I'm trying to see the societal collapse through that lens, but Ryan comes along and is too busy smoking a pipe to let me have a good time. I tried to at least get him to talk about Atheism Is Unstoppable joining Censored.TV, but he won't even do that. Sorry, this episode SUCKS.

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Global Child Sex Trafficking rings are real, and here in the DARK FUTURE™ it is completely possible that anyone is involved, including a giant shipping company like Wayfair. The conspiracy theorists are digging into the idea that children are being packed into cabinets and sold off to anyone who can afford spending $17,000 on a pillowcase. Obviously, as the guy who uncovered the Pizzagate tunnels, this looks like a job for ME, JESSE, THE GREATEST GUY. I'm trying to buy one of the cabinets to see if some missing kid is inside, but LIVE during the show Wayfair and Google start hiding the listings! PLUS: Ghislaine Maxwell is accused of being behind the first ever reddit account to reach ONE MILLION KARMA. An account that is very mysteriously into "cyber crimes." Could u/MaxwellHill be the Lolita Express Madame? Why hasn't the user posted ever since Ghislaine went to jail? We dive down the demon RABBITHOLE.

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THE ONLY OFFICIAL TIMELINE of how Dick Masterson went from the Biggest Pretend Chad in The Universe, to the face of Simpery and a Kiwifarms lolcow. Dick has now been MAD AT THE INTERNET for a solid two months, and it has all culminated in him being added to a BLACKLIST by MasterCard. He can no longer run NewProject2 as a result. We take a look at what lead him here from the match I struck when leaking his SIMP texts, to PPP taking him down, to Zoom doxxing him, to Dispatch showing up to his "Hollywood Hills Mansion." And of course the HULAGIRL86 BOMBSHELL that was posted to KiwiFarms proving once and for all, his ugly girlfriend is a former camwhore. I've been having so much fun, have you, Dick?

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I've been against pot culture my whole life but I finally met a man who changed my mind. He is weed in human form and his name is Cannaman. One of the kindest, gentlest men I've ever known, and not just an advocate for marijuana, but an educator about having the disease of full blown AIDS and using cannabis to medicate. It is because of my interactions with this former GOON that I have decided to offer him the chance to host a show on my channel called Pot Awful. He has also created a facebook group called WEED LIVES MATTER as a direct response to the terrorist organization Black Lives Matter, because maybe if they smoked a little kush they'd chill the hell out. Cannaman and I clear the smoke from the air, get to know one another better, answer viewer questions, get a surprise visit from CANNABOY, and I make his head float through space. 420 LEGALIZE IT MON.

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(This episode is completely lip synced.) Mike David from Red Bar Radio decided to do a 6 hour show all about little old me. His claims are that I am copying him. What have I copied? Well, apparently Mike invented clapping. And he invented not having ads. And singing karaoke. He promises there's a whole "lumber list" of things I've copied too. (BTW, "lumber list" is a phrase he copied from Adam Carolla.) I'm sure one day he will get around to finding some more examples. Here's some things he didn't invent though: the logo that sat behind him from 2011 to 2020, one of the theme songs he used for the show, and, oh yeah, the list of jokes he's been "borrowing" from Pod Awful lately. And I've come with proof of who did them first. You see, something interesting has happened. Mike doesn't watch Pod Awful. His WIFE does. And she loves it! So I can see why I would always be on his mind, and why he began imitating me a few years ago. The strange thing about all of this is, we already went through this back in 2011. Mike claimed I copied him then, too. What he was too autistic to figure out was, I was trolling him, and it all began with a little logo from Mancow. Here is the punchline to an 8 year old joke I've never finished telling.

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David Otto, the Australian musician/scammer we fooled into thinking was getting a HUGE festival gig on the show a month ago has been up to his old tricks, and slowly UNSPOOLING as the result of discovering our prank. He is still hiring naive young girls to join his band that is a front for a sex cult. He is getting them to sign legally unenforceable contracts. He might even be stalking one of our listeners! We have an exclusive interview with one of his interviews, go over the contract she signed line-by-line, get in contact with A Current Affair to put Otto back in THE NEWS, and interview our listener Brad about the INSANE phone calls and harassment he has been receiving from someone claiming to be David Otto. PLUS: Ron Jeremy back in the headlines for allegedly raping an 87-year-old senile woman.

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Dante The Comic has been LARPing as a social justice activist for weeks now, so it is a really bad time for his biggest client and best friend, former porn star RON JEREMY to be accused by FOUR DIFFERENT WOMEN OF RAPE. Dante must have already been sweating considering the current avalanche of comedian #MeToo accusations, but his talent agency Golden Artists Entertainment was promoting Ron Jeremy right up until the arrest, so now Dante is in complete HELL. In full on panic mode, he drops Ron as a client, still promotes his agency, and for some reason keeps defending Ron on Twitter. We go over the whole idiotic debacle, have THE NEWS contact Dante for a press inquiry, and prove he is lying about his involvement with Jeremy. PLUS: My Chris D'Elia parody was featured on a huge Youtube channel called pocketsofthefuture, and someone wants me to stop using my theme song forever.

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