Podcast – MōKuest Studios Network

Cinekuest Presents a Ballistic Break Dance Fight Night Featuring Marko Mark and Lou Diamond Phillips in The Big HitThis John Woo adjacent flophouse special with a dash of Wesley Snipes as a producer is definitely not worth watching for the star, the Wallbangerberg. In this flick, he  is completely overshadowed by the true star of La Bamba fame–Lou Diamond Phillips. He has the love for you, baby, with a goatee truly manicured to hell, rendering Roland’s jokes about Daniel’s mustache moot (Qapla’!)! Melvin Smiley is a soft-spoken, redheaded heartthrob with six-pack formed by years of mastering hand-to-hand combat and gymnastics with two ladies and is a complete pushover people-pleaser. Did we mention he’s also a contract killer? Probably should have led with that. How one can be all these things at once is a true symptom of a recently discovered illness medical researchers call Whatthefuckwerethewritersthinkingitis, but that’s what the action and comedy is for and there is a metric fuckload of it! Most of it is brought by Lou Diamond Fucking Phillips overacting an already over-the-top personality as Melly’s buddy/coworker/loveable cutthroat bastardo Cisco. He’s like a cross between a mariachi hip-hop star and Yakuza underling which is fucking hilarious. Anywhatsits, MelloMark is just tryna get paid and laid while surrounded by his seemingly utterly mundane home life. Between Chantel, his gold digger side piece, constantly blue ball bashing him for bills and his actual fiance’ Christina Goddamn Applegate tossing his savings down the drain leaving Smiles a financial shithouse. Cisco the absolute angel swoops in to save the day for Melvy, taking a “huge risk” offering his brochacho (the MVP of their hit squad) a non-union sanctioned job. That’s what he do ‘cuz he gots so much love for you, BAYBEE. How could this possibly get any better for the Marksman? He doesn’t deserve friends like that. Then things get fucking stupid–stupid awesome. Join Rey, Roland, and Daniel as we argue over why Young Guns is one of best BRAT PACK westerns of ALL TIME. 

Be sure to check out the links to support and listen to the podcasts!

https://linktr.ee/MokuestStudios

Cinekuest Pre-Turkeyday Returnening to the Tromaverse with Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken DeadWhat do you get when you build a fried chicken franchise on an “ancient Indian burial ground?” Not laser raptors, but undead chicken-demons possessed by souls seeking revenge. Not only is this amazing premise offered to us, but it’s also a…drumroll, please…a…fucking…musical! Arbie (you’ll get it) is a dumbshit pipsqueak pisspot left behind by Wendy, his girlfriend, as she zips off to Experimentation Boot Camp (college) and meets Micki. When Wendy (gettin’ the jerkojoke yet?) runs into Arbie at a protest outside of the grand opening of American Chicken Bunker where he calls her on her bullshit shallow ass trendy values localized in her sexuality and decides to go work for “The Man”. As the new Counter Girl for the new store, Arbie works under Denny (you have gotten it by now, right?) and alongside Carls Jr., Paco Bell, and Hummus. This movie starts with a fun unrequited love and spite angle of a plot, Lloyd Kaufman then proceeds to crack out a can of  Classic Horror Tropes from his plot-force utility belt. Remember the “ancient Indian burial ground” Wendy and Micki were protesting alongside a stereotypical drunken Native American? It soon becomes quite relevant. As most of you are aware, in any Troma film is basically a powder keg of batshittery just waiting to blast everyone to hell with boobs, explosions, butt stuff, ball stuff, realistic looking poop and a shit fountain. Oh, yeah, remember it’s also a musical! Most importantly, it is damned funny. Join Daniel, Rey, and Roland as we try to give you a brief idea of what the crap is happening in this movie.

Be sure to check out the links to support and listen to the podcasts!

https://linktr.ee/MokuestStudios

Cinekuest Continues: Trilogy of the Dead Part 2 (Part 1 actually though): Birth of the Boomstick

In this episode, your favorite trio reviews Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn, alternatively titled “The Return to the Beginning”. What’s hilarious about this series is the fact that, rather than offering us the glory that is “Army of Darkness” after the cult hit of Evil Dead, we received a flaccid reboot of the aforementioned hit. Despite the rehash, we do get a glimpse into the ridiculous humor locked inside Sam Raimi’s brain! This movie is as absurdly funny as it is gory. We also get blessed with hilariously bad costumery and amazing practical effects. We realize you can only become so aroused, but this flick also features 100% more Ash. Groovy. All in all, this is basically the same story as the original with everything you loved about the OG version, but ramped up to 11. Welcome to sweet horror slapstick comedy majesty with gallons of blood, a dismembered, demonically-possessed hand, a girlfriend who has a thing for dancing in life and un-life, tentacle porn (again!), demons, demons, aaaaaaaand…you guessed it, more demons that are ready to swallow your sooooooooouuullll!!! Pfffft. We dare you not to laugh at this masterpiece of cinemaI. Join Daniel, Rey, and Roland as we chat about this flick with the underlying hope that the Book of the Dead’s prophecies come to pass.

If you enjoy this show check out our other podcasts and support us if you like click the link below!

https://linktr.ee/MokuestStudios

The Best Worst Horror Movie Remakenings

As we hermit through the best and only important month of the year–we spent quite a bit more time than expected on this episode going through all the horror reboots we could find or remember. While there are a few “good ones” here and there–this is still one super-sized pile of crapola we’re shoveling through. The Hollywood trend of saving a buck on brainpower and licensing fees or exploiting what were once fan-favorite franchises has mostly always been an idiotic half-assed shit show at best (why Evil Dead, why) and at worst, The Wicker Man (the bees…goddammit). Sometimes, they get lucky. If only it happened more often. Then again, some of us really like a thick slice of crappiness pie with our movie experience. Join Roland, Rey and Daniel as we inundated you with all the redux horror hits and doodoo redos.  

Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

04:00 Night of the Living Dead (1990)

12:00 Evil Dead (2013)

28:00 Halloween (2007)

34:00 House on Haunted Hill (1999)

39:00 Childs Play (2019)

46:00 House of Wax (2005)

49:00 The Grudge (2004)

59:00 The Fly (1986)

01:05:00 The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

01:14:00 Friday the 13th (2009)

01:22:00 13 Ghosts (2001)

01:33:00 The Amityville Horror (2005)

01:38:00 Dracula (1992)

01:44:00 It Chapter 1 (2017)

01:46:00 Suspiria (2018)

01:47:00 The Town that Dreaded Sundown (2014)

01:49:00 The Blob (1988)

01:50:00 Dawn of the Dead (2004)

01:55:00 The Wicker Man (2006)

02:00:00 Poltergeist (2015)

02:01:00 I Am Legend (2007)

02:02:00 Fright Night (2013)/Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

02:13:00 Closing Remarks

Check out our other podcasts at Mokuest Studios and support us by clicking the link below.
https://linktr.ee/MokuestStudios

It’s the 31st of Quarantober and you know what that means–HAPPY HALLOWEEN! After breaking our collective three brain cells on our recent coverage of The Twelfth Planet, we sorted through the bargain bin for the best budget knowledge of the phantasmagoric! Do people remain racist after they die? Can ghosts help the lonely? Tune in as Rey, Roland, Bryce, and Daniel, The Mökuest Investigative Team (solely so that we can say “MIT” so people think we have proper credentials when we’re on the case #therealMIT) take a shallow dive into the world of specters. Listen to our meandering discussion of the various types of apparitions present in our territorial bubbles or even knowing them in the Biblical sense (“The Bible rules, Beavis.”). Some ghosts want that good lovin’ and some are just pricks. 

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 Intro

04:30 Miley and Demi UFOs

23:00 Interactive Ghost

26:30 Ectoplasm Ghost

30:00 Poltergeist 

39:30 Orbs

43:00 Funnel Ghost

44:45 Unaware Ghost

46:30 Denial Ghost

48:15 Denial Ghost

49:00 Jealous Ghost

51:00 Fearful Ghost

52:00 Melancholy Ghost

53:15 Misson Ghost

55:00 Goodbye Ghost

56:45 Mischievous Ghost

57:45 Angry Ghost

1:00:00 Ghost Story 1

1:05:00 Ghost Story 2 (La Borde House)

1:21:00 Ghost Story 3 (Reys Doppelgänger)

1:27:45 Ghost Sex

1:43:00 Episode Close

1:43:35 Bloopers

Check out our other podcasts at Mokuest Studios and support us by clicking the link below.
https://linktr.ee/MokuestStudios

In our final episode of our 12th Planet coverage, we rant about Chapters Eleven through Fifteen to complete the book. Sitchin’s reconstruction of what really happened continues with the “Upper” and “Lower” Worlds managed by Enlil and Ea, two of the principal gods (and brothers!) tasked with harvesting resources from Earth for Niburu, the 12th Planet! As you’d expect, they didn’t do a damn thing themselves. Instead, they made the rank-and-file gods (referred to as the Nephalim) do it. After an indeterminate period of time ceaselessly working, they rebelled against Enlil, demanding respite from the thankless work. After the first bargaining session, the pit bosses elected to create humanity to bear their yoke. To achieve this, the gods spliced DNA from their stock and that of the “ape-men” tooling around thousands of years ago. Once again, as you’d expect, the idiot gods failed to leave the matter alone when Enki decided to be humanity’s first personal Jesus, bringing advanced knowledge and techniques needed to survive and flourish on Earth which angered Enlil (for some gods damned reason), who saw humans as disposable. Thus, the gods decided to destroy their servants with a great flood, which Sitchin draws parallels from other Deluge myths, creating his own sci-fi Noah’s Ark. Join Rey, Roland, and Daniel as they stumble through the stunning conclusion that appeared through the foggy darkness Sitchin generated through his life’s work.

00:00 Intro 

00:06 Chapter 11

00:40 Chapter 12

01:02  Chapter 13

01:16  Chapter 14

01:36  Chapter 15

01:54  Closing Remarks

Check out our other podcasts at Mokuest Studios and support us by clicking the link below.
https://linktr.ee/MokuestStudios

Follow us Patreon for bonus content, early releases and uncut episodes at https://www.patreon.com/mokueststudios
Music provided by Bryce Leka & L. Rey Miranda (aka King Louie, aka BEEF, aka EL Rey, aka HK).
If you have a paranormal/supernatural story to share, email us at [email protected]

Cinekuest for the Halloweening-Lockdown Edition-The FrightnersFor our non-spooky time revelers, we cough*somewhat mostly one person*cough have used the at-home hijinks opportunity to pick another crazy-cool episode with extra-as-fuck actor Jeffrey Combs. Also cool lead star Michael J. Fox. See if you can find the director’s cameo. See into the funky-ass mind of director Peter Jackson before he went full Hollywood Dominator with LOTR. Frank Bannister (MJ Fox) was a normal, yuppie architect thirsting after his own basketball court when an unfortunate accident left him driving a busted-ass Model Pos Ford and slumming with the spectors of the un-living. Cool dudes, mostly. Channeling his best Peter Venkman, Franky boy grifts random marks using a squirt gun and a toaster oven with the aid of his dead-bros. This works for a time until word gets around about a spirit shyster. By the power of plot-force, this coincides with a string of seemingly unrelated, unexplainable deaths (sure they are). Enter FBI Agent Paranormal Obsessionist Extraordinaire, Milton Dammers (Jeffrey Combs) who takes his shiet so seriously, he’s got a fucking uzi (standard issue, sure). This guy would be a beast if he wasn’t so borked in the brain. And afraid of the ladies. Imagine if you will, Agent Herbert West himself- just less power of science and more X-files nuthouse Illuminati. Get ready for one of the best comedy horror movies of the mid 90’s. Join Rey, Roland and Daniel as we recount the killer funnies.  

Check out our other podcasts at Mokuest Studios and support us by clicking the link below.

https://linktr.ee/MokuestStudios

In the second episode of our 12th Planet recitation, we cover chapters six through ten, which follows into the cosmogenic origins of the spacecraft planet of the Nephilim. Primarily, the information Sitchin uses here is derived from Babylonian mythology, taking influences from Sumerian beliefs and highlighting derivations from the Old Testament to continue supporting this postulate. As told in the Enuma Elish, in the genesis of our galaxy a great war was fought, ending in the destruction of the mother god-world and the hobbling of the Sun Father, creating the asteroid belt and the Earth as we know it. The wandering planet, the hero-king of the god-planets, Marduk, is responsible for stabilizing the universe and creating our world from the husk of the primordial goddess of the salt sea, Tiamat. Join Rey, Roland and Daniel as we attempt rationalize these next few chapters.

Be sure to check out our other shows, merch and patreon! Click the link below!

https://linktr.ee/MokuestStudios

Follow us Patreon for bonus content, early releases and uncut episodes at https://www.patreon.com/mokueststudios
Music provided by Bryce Leka & L. Rey Miranda (aka King Louie, aka BEEF, aka EL Rey, aka HK).
If you have a paranormal/supernatural story to share, email us at [email protected]

Cinekuest Begins: Trilogy of the Dead Part 1: Before the Boomstick   We present to you the start of the end of our trilogies for the year. We’ve all been looking forward to this wholesome box of goodness all year. I am of course speaking of the awesome that is Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead movies. Prepare for one of the purest forms of cinema horror with this cult-favorite gore splatterfest. Bruce Campbell is Ash Williams, a genuinely nice guy (not an internet nice guy-those are douchebags who goes to a cabin in the middle of Whothefuckknows forest for some boozin’ and bonin’. Great place I’m told. FOR EVIL. Ash and his friends decide to snoop around the place and find the Necrogoddamnomicon–because Ouija is for pussies. They play a recording of some Book of the Dead Cliffnotes, and that’s when the horror porn begins. Possession, levitation, dismemberment, gallons of blood, tentacle porn–covers all the gold standard fright flick features. On a budget diet of Kraft singles and Fritos (they got lucky they only had chilli for one night), Raimi created The Exorcist meets The Dollar Tree Jim Henson Company. Everyone loves this movie, and if you don’t we all feel sorry for you. Join Rey, Roland, and Daniel as we refresh our alcohol-soaked memories of what life was like growing up watching the good shit. 

Click the link below to check out the Mokuest Studios Podcasts and support if you like…
https://linktr.ee/MokuestStudios

Cinekuest Video Presents: Before The Matrix, But After Lawnmower Man–Virtuosity In the futureworld of the 90’s, Denzel Washington plays (ex) Lt. Parker Barnes, once a cop, now a convict, who has no absolutely no regrets about his current lifestyle as a much-loved (sarc–/s to you reddity gorms) model inmate. WIth nothing better to do, why not help out the boys in blue with some old-fashioned VR training? Sure. Jack him up. Barnes’ competes against zany lover-of-zuitsuits, AI Sid 6.7, played by Russell Crowe doing his best at batshit. I can’t say I understand the basics of creating artificial intelligence, but it takes abit of a hard suspension of common sense to understand how creating one from glomming the psyches of serial killers together would be a reasonable idea. Effective, possibly, creative–certainly. Smart? Questionable. Maybe I’m just a backasswards rube getting in the way of true sciencified progress. After Sid is born into the world of the realz, because, of course he is, Barnes is reinstated and set on the chase. Unbeknownst to him, Sid has a closer relation to Barnes than he would have ever expected. This is some true velveeta you’re in for here. Join, Daniel, Rey, Roland, and Young Breezy for this (it was in theaters?) forgotten rental. 

Check out ALL our podcasts, our merchandise and social media. CLICK THE LINK BELOW!
https://linktr.ee/MokuestStudios