Podcasts – Caught in the Cogs

Episode 28: Those Three Little Words (Podcast).

Love. Such a simple word, but too many people avoid it like other four-letter-words. Although a simple word, it certainly does not convey a simple concept. Love is very complex sometimes, although it’s apparant complexity is really just a delusion. Nothing is more natural or beautiful than love, and it is just fear around the word or the intimacy it often suggests that causes people to give pause. The word love in the English language has many meanings from a deep affection or preference for something (I love my dog, I love chocolate) to actually being “in love.” And so many things in between.

Sometime hearing those three little words can make someone’s day. We all need to feel loved, so use it freely. Just ensure the recipient of those powerful words understands your meaning behind them, especially in romantic relationships. It’s perfectly wonderful to express love even before two people are “in love.” Make sure you both are on the same page.

Those Three Little Words (Podcast)

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Episode 27: Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs (Podcast).

One thing that has long baffled me is the answer to the question: “Why do good people cheat?” Maslow’s Hierarchy answered that for me, at least to begin to understand why, and it has to do with physiological needs trumping any sense of morality.

Still, as I’ve said so many times before, there is a better way if you can find the courage to talk to your partner or SO. Truly, so much less painful for everyone involved.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs (Podcast)

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Episode 26: Long Distance Love.

Don’t listen to nay-sayers who tell you that long distance relationships don’t work. They do if you want them to. Like any relationship, it’s a lot of work and communication, perhaps moreso because of the geographical distance, but they are far from impossible.

Remember, don’t let society define your relationship for you. You and your partner define your own relationship and what works best for the two of you.

Long Distance Love (Podcast)

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Episode 25: Choices After Indiscretion.

You cheated. Now what?

Your choices before an indiscretion are infinitely better than afterward, but you do still have choices if you’ve cheated on your partner, just not good ones. Find out what your options are now that you’ve deceived your spouse or SO, and most importantly, don’t betray them again. Find the courage and take the steps necessary to find the integrity to be a good, honest person.

Choices After Indiscretion (Podcast)

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Episode 24: Fear of Abandonment Can Lead to Infidelity.

We all fear abandonment, some of us fear it more deeply than others, but the thought of being alone can be very scary. And that fear can cause us to clam up, keep things inside because we’re too scared of what will happen if we talk about our fears. But that is exactly what you must do with your spouse or SO. Open up. Communication. Share your lives, your fears, your dreams. Through this communication, anything is possible. This is how you build intimacy. This is how you build security, and this is how you ease those fears.

Fear of Abandonment Can Lead to Infidelity (Podcast)

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Episode 23: Protecting Your Heart.

Falling in love is intoxicating. There is no doubt. Our brains are full of those euphoric love chemicals and we feel full of life. And by all means, do fall in love, but just protect your heart for a few weeks at the very least, if not for a couple of months. Trust takes time to build. People often are not very honest at the beginning of relationships, putting their best foot forward and all. Be sure that their actions back up their words. Be sure they can be trusted with your heart. Be sure they are worth of your love because they have integrity and are honest. You are worth the wait. You are worth the effort, and if they don’t think so, they are not worthy of you.

Protecting Your Heart (Podcast)

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Episode 22: Ending a Relationship with Love & Respect

Break ups are hard. They’re painful. They can be absolutely devastating and crippling, but they don’t have to be. There will be pain no matter what, as you are separating your lives and redefining yourselves as no longer a couple, but that pain can be minimized with significant effort and communication. You owe it to yourself and to your SO/spouse to ease through the transition together. After all, you have been very special in each other’s lives. There is no reason why you need to stop knowing each other (except, of course, in cases of abuse). Sometimes relationships must end, but they can end amicably, with love and respect.

Ending a Relationship with Love & Respect (Podcast)

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Episode 21: When Your SO Says No to Polyamory.

Opening your marriage or LT relationship takes a lot of time, care, and effort. It’s not going to happen overnight. It’s probably not even going to happen in a few weeks or months. It may take years. The timeline all depends on how open and honest your relationship currently is and how much work you put into it. All relationships take effort, the best ones take the most. Take the time and love to talk with your SO and truly get to know each other. It is so very worth it.

When Your SO Says No to Polyamory (Podcast)

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Episode 20: Opening Up to Intimacy.

Intimacy is terrifying for many people, but it is essential for healthy, happy relationships. Building intimacy takes courage, not only the courage to open yourself up to another person, but the courage to trust another person as well, especially if you’ve been badly burned in the past. Open up that communication with your spouse/SO now. Please don’t wait another day. It is so worth the effort.

For Better or For Worse (Podcast)

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Episode 19: Chains of Victimization.

If you have been a victim of abuse or suffered through an abusive relationship, it is important to acknowledge the abuse, whether it neglect, verbal, emotional, physical, or sexual, was not your fault. It was not your shame. But, now that it’s over, it is your responsibility to regain your power and redefine your sense of self. Don’t allow the abuser to continue hurting you by proxy. For links to the songs mentioned, please visit the original blog post.

Breaking the Betrayal Bond (Podcast)

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