Some of us have a misconception that things aren’t going our way or we’re “doing it wrong” because we lack a positive attitude; like acting positive is some sort of magic bullet for happiness. It’s not. How does it feel inside when you’re pretending? To be whole, you have to accept all parts of yourself. Acting positive when you’re not is inauthentic… and tiring. Plus we can sense things about other people, much of the time just by watching them walk in a room. There may be a match at a level we struggle to understand, wondering why we’re drawn to certain people.

We are all connected to one another, but it’s not really about positive or negative. It’s more about being open or closed. The energy we put out from this state attracts people who match our availability. If we’re closed, we will meet people who are closed. That’s how it works. When we’re closed, we have a neat and tidy world that is very controlled. It’s familiar. We attract dysfunction because WE are dysfunctional (whether we want to admit it or not). Opening ourselves up and meeting someone who is also open will change things, which is scary. But it’s also much more fulfilling and empowering. Once you understand your part, everything can change.

So how does one shift their energy to be more open? Find your emotional walls, your rules and get uncomfortable. Deal with you. Look at your list of yeses and noes. How far have they gotten you? Start by choosing yourself and being authentic. It’s what builds love and value. Second, express gratitude. When we don’t have gratitude for what we have in our lives, we become cynical and detached from possibility. There is no opening for opportunity. Be grateful for your past relationships—good and bad. Practicing gratitude changes you energetically because it opens your heart. And THAT is positive.