Poster Boys

Robert Pattinson stars in a "horror/thriller/fantasy/mystery" from acclaimed body horror auteur David Cronenberg! You'd be right to think that this is a riveting, no-holds-barred, wall-to-wall splatterfest! Except you'd actually be wrong to think that. Harry thought that, and he ended up issuing an apology. Luckily for us, we have an eerily accurate (maybe? we wouldn't know) impression of David Cronenberg on hand to explain what went wrong.

Plus, Stacey has no interest in money, Harry begs for some violence, and we both try to work out what the spectre haunting society is (the spectre might be capitalism, but that feels too obvious...)

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It's finally here: the very first Poster Boys video episode! Harry is wearing a nice shirt, Stacey has moved all of her household mess out of frame, and we're feeling very loose. It's the perfect environment to watch a French Robert Pattinson get very rich very quickly and make out with many beautiful women, including Uma Thurman, Christina Ricci, and more! Unfortunately what follows is less about Robert Pattinson making out and more about Robert Pattinson getting cheated on and handling it poorly. And, for some reason, Morocco.

Plus, Stacey has questions about the French alphabet, Harry has questions about if he is coming off as suitably ironic, and we try to finish the episode before our food arrives.

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Keen to see our beautiful faces? You can watch every episode on YouTube @posterboyspod!

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Every child dreams of running away and joining the circus, of finding like-minded freaks and outcasts and joining with them in a complex polyamorous relationship model. And dreams can come true! All you need is for your parents to die in a horrible car crash and you too can join the circus family. In this case the family is a vet that can speak Polish, an alcoholic carny who can speak Polish, an elephant who can speak Polish, and Reese Witherspoon.

Plus, Stacey wishes she was a trapeze, Harry pitches #MeanManAugust, and we both consider what could have been if only we were vets who knew polish.

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Gird your loins, deck your halls, and jingle your bells: it's the Poster Boys Christmas Spectacular! After a few weeks of well-deserved (and honestly accidental) break, Harry and Stacey are back in action to reflect on the year that was, reflect on the year that is to come, spread Christmas cheer, and speculate wildly on the Grinch's ovarian situation.

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It's the proudest day of any parent's life: their only daughter, aged 18, marries a weird pale man, aged 100+, whose entire family may or may not be dating each other, and whisks her away to a private island, only to return two weeks later, no longer a virgin, somehow eight months pregnant, and looking hollowed like a Halloween pumpkin. Wow, love really does win ❤️

Plus, Harry mistrusts teens and what mischief they may be up to, Stacey wishes her apartment was haunted, and no one can tell any of these depressed single werewolves apart.

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We have one more bonus cut for time episode until we return to our regularly scheduled Robert Pattison-based programming! Key points of discussion include: how tall is Robert Pattinson? What awards did Twilight win? Does Stacey have to shop in the dolls section? And so much more...

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So far, our experience with the Twilight films has... not been great. Maybe Eclipse is where it all changes! You have Bryce Dallas Howard leading an army of twinks, all made out of porcelain, the reveal that Jasper was in fact a Confederate soldier, and Robert Pattinson looking more and more fed up with these films by the day. Our hopes may not be high, but they are not yet dead.

Plus, we try to work out the mechanics of vampire coitus (does it shrivel up and drop off like a lizard's tail?)

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This week, in honour of Harry being on a job and not having time to record and edit an episode, we present to you a special bonus episode containing everything that was Too Good and/or Too Off Topic to be included in Episodes 1-5. We have pre-episode recording tidbits! We have David Attenborough impressions! We have large quantities of uncooked chicken lying on the street! Listen to find out more...

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Tragedy brings people together. By extension, national tragedy should bring a whole bunch of people together, right? In Remember Me, Robert Pattinson both stars in and executive produces a decent romantic drama right up until the point where it becomes potentially the most poor-taste film this side of John Waters. But damn, if he doesn't look good doing it.

Plus, Stacey gets emotional despite herself, Harry wonders what the point of this film even is, and we campaign for bigger desks for legal secretaries.

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The only thing worse than watching a terrible film is being forced to watch a terrible film because you are recording a podcast about Robert Pattinson and Robert Pattinson happens to be in a terrible film. The only thing worse than that would be if Robert Pattinson was only in the film for about 30 seconds and never seen in full lighting. The only thing worse than that would be if the terrible film was actually an anthology of five terrible short films. But that would never happen, right?

Plus, Stacey is fed up with Octavia Spencer and Harry yearns for his phone.

Don't forget to subscribe to Poster Boys, and leave us a comment and rating!

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.