The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker to select a lineup of players who made some unexpected, barely-computable stops in their careers. From goalkeepers who just couldn't quit, to graceful midfielders who were thrust into unenviable engine rooms and elite-level strikers who looked very odd in another club's shirt...these are the transfers that just sound so wrong.

Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel tear into the tenuous marketing speak for the new England shirts and pin down some classic footballing collective nouns.