The 2024 presidential election has revealed a fascinating paradox in American politics: both major parties are selling voters control over time itself. While Kamala Harris promises a better future with "We're Not Going Back," Donald Trump's "Make America Great Again" yearns for an idealized past. This tug-of-war reflects our persistent belief that the ideal time exists somewhere other than the present. Yet such promises of temporal control may be at odds with what history actually tells us.