Why You Know Your Standards — But Still React the Old Way

You know your standards. You’ve done the inner work.
So why do you still find yourself reacting in ways that don’t match who you’re becoming?

In Part 11 of the Living By Your Standards series, host Chris Oh breaks down why knowing your standards is just the beginning. The real transformative change actually happens in the moment, not in theory.

This episode is for the woman who understands her values, boundaries, and is beginning to raise her standards — yet still notices old reactions  and patterns surface under emotional activation.

This episode explores: 

✅ Why insight alone doesn’t change behavior
✅ How our decision making happens from two "Systems" according to Daniel Kahneman’s System 1 vs. System 2 Theory. 
✅ Why self-blame keeps women stuck — and why it’s scientifically inaccurate
✅ The gap between awareness and action
✅ The micro-moment framework by Chris Oh, which is the split-second identity choice where real change happens
✅ How identity, not willpower, drives lasting change
✅ How self-trust is built through repeated moments of alignment
✅ What it really means to live by your standards in real time

Chris shares how this micro-moment shows up for her like a brief internal movie scene where two versions of herself appear:

➡️ the old self, driven by familiarity and reassurance
➡️ the self I’m becoming, grounded in self-loyalty and standards

And in that moment, the real question isn’t “What should I do?”
It’s “Which version of me am I choosing to lead right now?”

💡 ▶ DOWNLOAD my free Standards vs. Expectations Self-Reflection Worksheet here: https://stan.store/psyoungerself

Learn more about P.S. Younger Self here.
And, you can connect with host Chris Oh on Instagram here.

Most women think having high standards means expecting someone else to meet them.

But the real test of your standards isn’t how someone treats you —
it’s whether you abandon yourself to keep the connection.

In Episode 10 of the Living By Your Standards series, host Chris Oh breaks down the psychology of unconscious self-abandonment, emotional safety, and what high standards actually look like in real relationships.

This episode goes deeper than dating tips.
You’ll learn how early conditioning, nervous system responses, and invisible emotional habits shape the ways women shrink, silence themselves, or override their intuition — all while believing they’re being “easy,” “understanding,” or “low-maintenance.”

In this episode, you’ll learn:
➡️ Expectations vs. standards — why “they should…” beliefs create emotional instability and what standards look like in action.
➡️ The subtle ways women self-abandon
➡️ The psychology behind self-abandonment
➡️ Why your nervous system resists self-loyalty
➡️ How to shift from self-sacrificing to self-loyal
➡️ Practical relational standards — using intuition, clarity, and values-based decisions to stay grounded in who you are.


💡 ▶ DOWNLOAD my free Standards vs. Expectations Self-Reflection Worksheet here: https://stan.store/psyoungerself

💡 ▶ DOWNLOAD my free Standards vs. Expectations Self-Reflection Worksheet here: https://stan.store/psyoungerself

Learn more about P.S. Younger Self here.
And, you can connect with host Chris Oh on Instagram here.

Most people talk about “protecting your peace,” but few understand how your quiet decisions reveal your personal values, emotional boundaries, and standards.

In Episode 9 of the Living By Your Standards series, host Chris Oh shares a recent real-life moment where she instinctively protected a relationship she deeply values— not out of fear, not out of judgment, but out of integrity.

And that moment revealed something powerful:

👉 Living by your standards isn’t just what you say no to — it’s what you silently guard.

This episode explores:
➡️ The deeper meaning of living by your standards
➡️ What quiet guardianship looks like when you live by your standards
➡️ Why privacy is a form of emotional power
➡️ How discernment and restraint strengthen self-trust
➡️ The difference between boundaries and energetic protection
➡️ How to practice quiet guardianship of what is scared to you, whether that´s relationships, connections, reputation, values, etc. 

Whether you’re navigating friendships, dating, family dynamics, or professional relationships, this P.S. Younger Self episode will help you understand how your quiet choices shape your life and reflect the values at the core of your personal standards.

▶ DOWNLOAD my free Standards vs. Expectations Self-Reflection Worksheet here: https://stan.store/psyoungerself

💡 ▶ DOWNLOAD my free Standards vs. Expectations Self-Reflection Worksheet here: https://stan.store/psyoungerself

Learn more about P.S. Younger Self here.
And, you can connect with host Chris Oh on Instagram here.

Do you say yes when you mean no? Feel anxious, over-responsible, or disconnected from your true self? In this episode, host Chris Oh sits down with Beatriz Victoria Albina, Certified Somatic Life Coach, Nurse Practitioner, and author of End Emotional Outsourcing, to explore how so many of us—especially women—unknowingly give away our emotional power in the name of love, peace, and belonging.

Béa coined the term “Emotional Outsourcing” to describe the pattern of abandoning ourselves to earn safety and approval. Béa helps us unpack:

• What emotional outsourcing really is—and how it hides behind codependency, people-pleasing, and perfectionism
• How it shows up in friendships, family dynamics, romantic relationships, and the workplace
• Why nervous system regulation is the missing piece in breaking free from these cycles
• How to begin reconnecting to your body’s cues, setting boundaries, and reclaiming your inherent self-worth

Béa’s science-backed framework blends mindset work with somatic healing to help us stop outsourcing our emotions—and finally come home to ourselves.

If you’ve ever felt resentful, burned out, or like you’re “too much” or “not enough,” this conversation will remind you that your worth was never meant to be earned—it was always you

Get your copy of Beatriz Victoria Albina’s book End Emotional Outsourcing and start reclaiming your self-worth today: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/

Follow Beatriz on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp

💡 ▶ DOWNLOAD my free Standards vs. Expectations Self-Reflection Worksheet here: https://stan.store/psyoungerself

Learn more about P.S. Younger Self here.
And, you can connect with host Chris Oh on Instagram here.

Raising your standards sounds empowering, right? But here’s the truth no one talks about: it doesn’t always feel good at first. Growth can feel messy, awkward, even lonely, and that’s exactly when most people start to doubt themselves.

In this episode, host Chris Oh shares why you will experience these uncomfortable  shifts when you begin raising your standards, and how courage becomes the anchor that helps you keep going. You’ll learn how to handle resistance from others, moments of self-doubt, and the loneliness that can come when old relationships or habits no longer align with who you’re becoming.

What you’ll hear in this episode:

• Why growth feels uncomfortable (and why that’s normal)
• The uncomfortable shifts you’ll notice when raising your standards in life
• How to build courage, which helps you move through discomfort in personal growth
• Practical tools to stay grounded when living by your standards feels hard

This is Part 8 of my Living By Your Standards series, where Chris shares practices to help you live authentically, aligned with your values. If you’re just finding this series, go back and listen from the beginning to learn about clarity, boundaries, self-assurance, and accountability before diving into courage.

And, if you’re ready to start raising your standards but want some extra guidance, be sure to grab the free worksheet from Chris that will help you spot the difference between expectations and standards in your own life. You can grab it here: https://stan.store/psyoungerself

 It’s a simple but powerful tool to get started right away.

💡 ▶ DOWNLOAD my free Standards vs. Expectations Self-Reflection Worksheet here: https://stan.store/psyoungerself

Learn more about P.S. Younger Self here.
And, you can connect with host Chris Oh on Instagram here.

Why are so many romantic relationships emotionally disconnected and sexually unfulfilled, even when love is still there?

Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill, founders of the Connection Codes framework, uncover the emotional patterns behind disconnection and what truly builds lasting intimacy.

In this episode, we explore the emotional root of sexless relationships, how emotional safety unlocks physical connection, and why fear often blocks the vulnerable conversations couples need to have.

If you’ve ever felt distant from your partner or struggled to reignite physical intimacy, this conversation will shift your understanding of what deep connection looks like, and how to rebuild it from the inside out.

We talk about:

• Why emotional safety is essential for sexual intimacy
• How curiosity creates deeper emotional and physical connection
• Signs your relationship is drifting, and how to reconnect
• What “sexual loneliness” is and why it’s so common
• How to break out of fear and emotional avoidance
• Practical tools like the Core Emotion Wheel

About the Guests:
Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill are relationship coaches and co-founders of Connection Codes, a proven, science-backed framework that helps couples build trust, emotional literacy, and deeper intimacy.

🔗 Learn more: https://connectioncodes.co/

Follow Dr. Glenn and Phyllis on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/connectioncodes/

🎙️If you enjoyed this episode, you might also enjoy episode 98 with Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill, "Stop Weaponizing Stop Weaponizing Emotions & Build Stronger Relationships": https://www.buzzsprout.com/999415/episodes/13365774-stop-weaponizing-emotions-build-stronger-relationships.mp3?download=true

💌 Subscribe for more episodes on emotional growth, love, and modern relationships.
📩 DM us your thoughts on this episode @ [your handle]

💡 ▶ DOWNLOAD my free Standards vs. Expectations Self-Reflection Worksheet here: https://stan.store/psyoungerself

Learn more about P.S. Younger Self here.
And, you can connect with host Chris Oh on Instagram here.

Most people think accountability is about punishment or pressure.
But what if it’s actually the key to self-trust, clarity, and emotional strength.

In this episode, host Chris Oh explores the real reason accountability matters. It is not just for achieving goals, but for staying in alignment with your values, honoring your integrity, and becoming the version of yourself you’re proud to be. It´s essential to live by your standards. 

You'll learn: 

• What’s really at stake when you don’t hold yourself accountable
• The subtle ways your confidence erodes without you realizing it
• How accountability helps close the gap between intention and action
• Why self-trust is built in the quiet moments, not big milestones
• A fresh lens on accountability as an empowering, self-honoring practice

If you’ve ever felt out of alignment, lost momentum, or like you're drifting from your own standards, this one’s for you.

🧠 Want to go deeper?
Download the Free Self-Reflection Worksheet: Expectations vs. Standards → https://stan.store/psyoungerself

🎧 This is Episode 7 of the Living By Your Standards series.
Make sure to check out previous episodes on [Clarity] and [Boundaries] to build the full picture.

💡 ▶ DOWNLOAD my free Standards vs. Expectations Self-Reflection Worksheet here: https://stan.store/psyoungerself

Learn more about P.S. Younger Self here.
And, you can connect with host Chris Oh on Instagram here.

Naturopathic doctor and bestselling author Lara Briden breaks down what every woman should know about her hormones, menstrual cycle, and metabolic health. From your first period to perimenopause and beyond, this conversation challenges the idea that women are “broken” and instead empowers you to understand and work with your female body.

Learn how hormonal birth control impacts your natural cycle, why ovulation is essential for long-term health, and how to navigate perimenopause and menopause as a natural life transition, not a medical failure. Lara also explains the importance of metabolic flexibility, the role of environmental factors in hormone disruption, and how to advocate for yourself in the doctor’s office.

Perfect for women in their 20s through 50s+ who want real answers and actionable insights about their health.

You’ll learn:
– Why regular ovulation is critical—even if you’re not trying to get pregnant
– How to recognize signs of perimenopause (and what to do)
– What most women aren’t told about hormonal birth control
– The truth about menopause hormone therapy (HRT)
– How metabolic health affects hunger, mood, and weight
– The impact of environmental toxins on hormonal balance
– How to have better conversations with your healthcare provider

📚 Books by Lara Briden:
– Period Repair Manual
– Hormone Repair Manual
– Metabolism Repair Manual (NEW)

🔗 Learn more at www.larabriden.com
📸 Follow Lara on Instagram: @larabriden

➡️ Start understanding your body like never before. Lara’s books are trusted by women and practitioners worldwide. Grab your copy and take charge of your hormonal, menstrual, and metabolic health today.

💡 ▶ DOWNLOAD my free Standards vs. Expectations Self-Reflection Worksheet here: https://stan.store/psyoungerself

Learn more about P.S. Younger Self here.
And, you can connect with host Chris Oh on Instagram here.

You finally set the boundary. But instead of feeling peace, you feel anxious. Guilty. Exhausted. Overthinking every interaction and second-guessing your decision.

In this episode, host Chris Oh shares a personal story and walk you through what actually happens emotionally after setting boundaries, the part few people talk about.

You’ll learn:

• Why your nervous system still feels activated even after doing "the right thing"
• How guilt, anxiety, and people-pleasing tendencies get activated post-boundary
• Why boundary-setting often leads to emotional labor long after the conversation is over
• How to stop overthinking and start feeling confident in your standards
• My personal 4-step emotional reset framework to manage boundary anxiety

If you’ve ever struggled with:

• Fear of being "too much" or "too selfish"
• Worrying how others will react to your boundaries
• Feeling emotionally exhausted trying to manage others' feelings

...this episode will give you the language, insight, and tools to hold your boundaries with confidence and emotional peace.

🎯 DOWNLOAD my free Standards vs. Expectations Self-Reflection Worksheet — the first step to get clear on your personal standards (vs expectations that often lead to frustration and disappointment):
👉 https://stan.store/psyoungerself

💡 ▶ DOWNLOAD my free Standards vs. Expectations Self-Reflection Worksheet here: https://stan.store/psyoungerself

Learn more about P.S. Younger Self here.
And, you can connect with host Chris Oh on Instagram here.

What if your identity is the reason you keep attracting the wrong people? In this episode, Master NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) Practitioner Damon Cart reveals how your unconscious self-concept shapes your relationships — and how to reprogram it for deeper connection, lasting transformation, and authentic self-belief.

Trained and mentored by NLP pioneer Steve Andreas, Damon now teaches the powerful Self-Concept Model to clients and coaches around the world. He shares how he personally overcame depression — once in just one session using Neuro-Linguistic Programming — and why traditional therapy often struggles to reach the unconscious structures where real change happens.

Listeners will also learn:

• Why the key to mastering Neuro-Linguistic Programming is applying it on yourself first — not just others
• The difference between self-worth and self-esteem from NLP perspective
• Why self worth is considered a myth  — and how letting go of it unlocks real confidence
• How to uncover and rewire limiting beliefs that shape your identity and relationships
• A live coaching demo exploring how your values reveal what’s truly driving you

Whether you're stuck in recurring relationship patterns or ready to transform how you see yourself, this episode offers a practical and deeply empowering path forward through Neuro-Linguistic Programming and identity work.

💡 ▶ DOWNLOAD my free Standards vs. Expectations Self-Reflection Worksheet here: https://stan.store/psyoungerself

Learn more about P.S. Younger Self here.
And, you can connect with host Chris Oh on Instagram here.