Pulled By The Root - Amplifying Adoption Issues

Simon Benn was adopted at 5 weeks old, and is the founder of “Thriving Adoptees” podcast that honorably focuses on the issues adopted people face. Simon came out of the fog at 40 years old, and all was going well until he discovered that his teddy bear was a gift from his birth mother. This unleashed an eruption of anger, and feelings of rejection and of being unloved for Simon. This put him on his journey to heal and help others. 15 years later, Simon continues to support adoptees through his podcast, consulting, webinars. 


https://www.thrivingadoptees.com/ 

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That led to a quest to heal, healing and a desire to help others. 

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15 years later I work with others who want to support adoptees through my podcast, consulting,  webinars and any other way I can.

Click here to send us a text. Also, our book “Pulled By The Root” is available at https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/book

https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/

In this episode, our guest who wishes to remain anonymous shares her story with remarkable detail and honesty. The death of her adopted sister Susie motivated her to become an advocate for adoptees. Her journey began in 1953 when her 19-year-old mother, under pressure from relatives, gave her up for adoption. Anne was adopted at birth through a private arrangement. At 18 months old, her adoptive parents introduced Susie, another adopted child, into their family.

Anne’s upbringing in the Philadelphia suburbs fostered her love for art, leading her to earn multiple degrees in Fine Arts from the University of Pennsylvania. She later moved to New York City, where she pursued painting and worked in advertising. During this period, she faced severe anxiety and panic attacks, unknowingly linked to her adoption.

In the mid-1990s, Anne found her birth parents and discovered a familial connection to art through her paternal grandfather, a portrait painter. Returning to Philadelphia in 1998, she continued painting and teaching art. By 2000, she became active in the adoptee rights movement and joined the Adoption Forum in 2005.

The tragic loss of Susie in 2021, due to the emotional trauma of adoption, has driven Anne to renew her advocacy efforts for adoptees.

Click here to send us a text. Also, our book “Pulled By The Root” is available at https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/book

https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/

“Mae Mae” is an adopted person who leads a double life as a teacher and songwriter anchored in the Northwoods with a heart rooted in the West. During the school day she’s building resiliency with her middle schoolers, knee deep in equal parts shenanigans and hope. On her lunch breaks and down time, she gets muddy in song and tales with her various ensembles and creative companions. She savors shore time, quiet time with her hubby, listening to music, and writing it, all of it, down. In this episode, Mae Mae opens her heart to explore the complexities of relinquishment. Her tender soul is evident in every word she says,our conversation was enriching, heartbreaking and inspiring.

Click here to send us a text. Also, our book “Pulled By The Root” is available at https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/book

https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/

Stephen Rowley, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist practicing in Bainbridge Island, Washington. His professional past includes serving as an elementary school teacher and principal, and a school district superintendent in Washington and California. He has been a college professor at three universities, teaching courses in educational administration and organizational theory. He holds a Ph.D. in Administration and Policy Analysis from Stanford University. His new book is: The Lost Coin: A Memoir of Adoption and Destiny (Chiron Publications, Sept. 2023). In our episode Stephen focused on the feelings an adopted person struggles with. In his words:

 “Imagine there’s an orphan who lives within them. The orphan is homeless, restless, disconnected, and searching for something or someone it can’t find, including its very soul. For some, the orphan’s persistent presence may arise intermittently through feelings and behavior at any stage of life or circumstance. No orphan, however, is beyond redemption. The lost orphan can be found in the shadows and brought to the safety and security of light. Disconnection can be healed by loving reconnection. In our conversation Stephen fleshed out the issues of abandonment with tenderness, insight and compassion.”

Click here to send us a text. Also, our book “Pulled By The Root” is available at https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/book

https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/

Gretchen Sisson, Ph.D. is a qualitative sociologist who studies abortion and adoption in the United States. She is a researcher at Advancing New Standards in Reproductive Health in the Department of Obstetrics, Gynecology and Reproductive Sciences at the University of California, San Francisco.   

Gretchen’s studies on adoption include hundreds of in-depth interviews with women who have relinquished infants for domestic adoption over the past sixty years, with a particular focus on women who have relinquished since Roe v. Wade. Her research on adoption decision-making after abortion denial (as part of The Turnaway Study) was cited in the Supreme Court’s dissent in Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Healthfrom Justices Breyer, Kagan, and Sotomayor.  

In response to the oral arguments and decision in Dobbs, Gretchen authored pieces in the Washington Post and The Nation. In these op-eds, Gretchen condemns the court’s decision that adoption over abortion is the best moral alternative and outlines the harsh realities women face when relinquishing a child for adoption. Gretchen has a strong media presence and has been published and quoted in AP News, Atlantic, BBC,Bitch Media, Bloomberg, Christian Science Monitor, Intelligencer, Good Morning America, Ms Magazine, NBC News, Next Question with Katie Couric, Publisher’s Weekly, Refinery29,

Click here to send us a text. Also, our book “Pulled By The Root” is available at https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/book

https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/

   Carl Niedzielski, named John DellaPenna at birth, was born in Western Massachusetts during the Baby Scoop Era of the late 1960s, and was relinquished and then adopted at some point at or soon after birth. Due to the low birthweight documented on his original birth certificate, it is assumed he spent time in NICU and also probably in foster care or in an orphanage such as the one operated by the agency that managed his adoption, Brightside for Children. As he has learned more about the impact of early childhood trauma, and connected more dots between his life experiences and the research in that area, a focus of his searching has been on finding out about his first few months of life; but the task has been challenging and may not ever be successful. While Carl always knew he was adopted, he did not learn about his biomom until 5 years ago, when he obtained his original birth certificate, which gave his biomom’s name, Gladys, and also the surprising information that she had been 41 years old at the time of his birth— in the 1960s, that would have been considered a very high risk pregnancy. He has recently been surprised again, when a random re-check of old Ancestry data yielded first contact with a bona fide biological relative. But that is when the story got weirder and led to the resolution many adoptees face: A more shocking story than expected, more information than ever hoped for, but still persistent gaps that with passing time are unlikely to be filled. Professionally, Carl works as a Senior Director, Grants and Research Development for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. He is a passionate mental health advocate, reader, armchair detective, binger of all things, urban hiker, word-gamer, and beacher. He is a beginner in the adult adoptee community, but you can find him on social media occasionally participating in many of the wonderful online communities for adult adoptees. In this episode we weave Carls personal journey with his professional insights. He sheds light on the reality of suicide research along with a bounty of ideas on how we can take action. 

Resources mentioned: 
AFSP (American Foundation for Suicide Prevention)
NAMI( National Alliance on Mental Illness)

Click here to send us a text. Also, our book “Pulled By The Root” is available at https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/book

https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/

 Kevin Berthia’s journey as a suicide survivor, adoptee, advocate, and speaker encapsulates the human spirit's capacity for redemption and renewal. From enduring silent suffering through his youth to a very public suicide attempt at the Golden Gate Bridge, Kevin's narrative is one of profound transformation. Since 2013, he has shared his experiences with unwavering candor, captivating audiences worldwide with his authenticity and vulnerability. As a sought-after public speaker and fervent advocate for suicide prevention, Kevin embodies the belief that recovery from depression is attainable for all. His story has resonated across diverse communities and been featured on esteemed platforms like the Steve Harvey Show, Red Table Talk, and the Dr. Phil Show. Through the Kevin Berthia Foundation, he aspires to provide a beacon of hope for individuals silently grappling with mental health challenges, whether diagnosed or undiagnosed. Their mission is clear: to empower, support, and advocate for those in need, fostering a community of understanding, compassion, and resilience. This episode is a masterclass on the capacity of the human spirit. Kevin passionately shares his desire to help others and reminds us we are not alone.




https://kevinberthiafoundation.org/

For more about the 92 minute film,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBU6CiZRbvI

Click here to send us a text. Also, our book “Pulled By The Root” is available at https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/book

https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/

Patti Eddington is a newspaper and magazine journalist whose favorite job ever was interviewing the famous authors who came through town on book tours. She never dreamed of writing about her life because she was too busy helping build her husband’s veterinary practice, caring for her animal obsessed daughter—whose favorite childhood toy was an inflatable tick—and learning to tap dance. Then fate, and a  DNA test, led her to a story she felt compelled to tell. Today, the mid-century modern design enthusiast and dance teacher enjoys being dragged on walks by her ridiculous three-legged dog, David, and watching the egrets and bald eagles from her deck on a beautiful bayou in Spring Lake, Michigan. In this episode, we discuss our connection to three legged dogs and why she has three Birthdays. The twists and turns of Patti’s story left us laughing and crying.

https://pattieddington.com/

Click here to send us a text. Also, our book “Pulled By The Root” is available at https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/book

https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/

Sabrina is an adopted person with many questions, her story begins in Texas where she was born and adopted illegally. She was abused the entire time she was with her adopters. After years of therapy and healing Sabrina tried to reach out to the state of Texas to get her original birth certificate without success. Her story takes so many twists and turns, including an overnight runaway mission to keep her out of the hands of authorities and her step father. On April 22nd, 2003  Sabrina ran to find her own voice, and she did at just 18 years old. In this conversation, Sabrina peels back the layers of her story with unflinching honesty revealing just how complicated adoption is even with biological relatives. We are releasing this episode today, on April 22nd in honor of her “Freedom Day”. Sabrina is living proof that our spirits are mighty. In her words, “Sometimes we just need to know that we are heard”.

 

Content Warning: In this episode, we discuss difficult topics that may be triggering for some audiences including sexual abuse, emotional abuse, and kidnapping

Click here to send us a text. Also, our book “Pulled By The Root” is available at https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/book

https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/

Jeff Forney is an adoptee and an LA based photographer focusing on advertising, music and celebrity. He is in reunion-currently working on a project in the adoptee world called the ‘Innocent People Project’ where he aims to share the adoptee experience. In this powerful episode, Jeff speaks to the issues surrounding adoption with deep compassion. He believes in the power of human stories and the healing it can create. Jeff feels a non-adoptee’s view on adoption is not an adoptee’s view on adoption, in between is a gap he hopes to fill. As he so eloquently states; 'Adoptees carry burdens, some being the burden of explanation, the burden to be affirming and the burden of loyalty. An adoptees ‘book of life’ starts on chapter two. How often does one purchase a book and start on chapter two?? Confusion would set in. What is going on? Who are these people and what is their purpose? What would normally be an introductory chapter to characters and plot, is now a whodunnit that would impress Hitchcock. This project does not look to make a single story into a stereotype. Each story is unique and valid adding to the many stories that make up the adoption mosaic. Often people come into the adoption world with innocent intent falling into the hands of an adoption industry that needs some serious reworking and legislation. We are a global community of disconnect that is finding its voice, in real time. A minority hidden in plain site, covered in guilt, shame and self worth issues as well as potentially a whole host of others. Some adoptees fall out of the ‘Adoption Issues Tree’ and hit only one branch, and some hit every single one of them. It’s different for everyone, yet we all have a common thread. Stay curious…and be grateful. Gratitude loosens the grip of inadequacy. Gratitude is liberating.





For more about Jeff and the ‘Innocent People Project’;  
https://jeffforney.com/
https://jeffforney.com/innocentpeople/

Click here to send us a text. Also, our book “Pulled By The Root” is available at https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/book

https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/