Pulling Threads, Weaving Authenticity

Divorce doesn’t just end a marriage — it shakes your nervous system, your finances, and your sense of self. In this episode of Pulling Threads, therapist Kimberly McNary, LMFT, and host Leslie Mathews talk through how to move through divorce with clarity and steadiness instead of being run by panic.

Kimberly is the founder of The Classy Girl’s Guide to Divorce and uses EMDR and Emotionally Focused Therapy to help women navigate the emotional landscape of divorce. Together they unpack the surprises no one prepares you for, the early emotional decisions that cost women later, why you absolutely can do EMDR while you’re in the thick of it, and what it really means to stay “classy” (hint: it’s more sassy than polite).

———

READY TO GET THROUGH YOUR DIVORCE — WHOLE?

THROUGH is Leslie’s structured divorce coaching program for women who want to come out the other side regulated, clear, and steady. Learn more & enroll: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram

CONNECT WITH LESLIE & THE LOOM LIFE

→ Coaching & podcast: https://theloomlife.com

→ Therapy (Florida clients): https://loomlifetherapy.com

→ Leslie’s personal site: https://leslieellenmathews.com

→ Instagram: @the.loom.life · TikTok: @leslieellenmathews

CHAPTERS

00:00 Welcome & meet Kimberly McNary

02:20 From couples therapy to becoming a divorce therapist

05:20 Can relationships heal after betrayal?

08:10 Kimberly's own divorce and what it taught her

10:55 The shame of being a marriage therapist going through divorce

13:20 The moments only someone who's lived divorce understands

15:50 Financial fears, keeping the house & thinking beyond survival

20:00 Why divorce support should be about more than legal advice

20:45 Leslie's first experience with dating after divorce

24:00 Timing, healing & reconnecting when you're both ready

26:00 How to know you're truly ready to date again

28:00 Dating from fear vs. dating from self-worth

30:00 Dating apps, honesty & protecting your children

33:00 Divorce with adult children and the "wait until they're grown" myth

36:00 Why healing after divorce can't be rushed

39:30 The hidden grief of divorce and rebuilding your identity

43:30 Trauma, EMDR & helping your nervous system heal

48:30 Childhood wounds that shape adult relationships

56:00 Learning to trust yourself again

1:04:00 Boundaries, co-parenting & protecting your peace

1:14:00 Building a life that finally feels like your own

1:18:00 Final thoughts & where to connect with Kimberly

Empower women through divorce and breakup transitions, drawing on EFT, EMDR, and her own lived experience. She practices in San Diego, CA.

→ Website: https://kimberlymcnary.com

ABOUT KIMBERLY McNARY, LMFT

Kimberly McNary is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with 17+ years of experience supporting relationships and personal growth. She founded The Classy Girl’s Guide to Divorce.

→ Instagram: @classygirlsguidetodivorce & @mcnarytherapy

→ Facebook: McNary Therapy & The Classy Girl’s Guide to Divorce

→ LinkedIn: search “Kimberly McNary”

A NOTE OF SUPPORT

This conversation touches on emotional abuse, trauma, and nervous-system overwhelm. If you’re struggling, you don’t have to navigate it alone. In the U.S. you can call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline), or contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (text START to 88788). Support is available 24/7.

#PullingThreads #DivorceRecovery #EMDRTherapy #DivorceSupportForWomen #ClassyGirlsGuideToDivorce

What does it actually look like to leave a life that looks good on paper — a 20-year marriage, a competitive athletic identity, a familiar world — and rebuild from scratch in your 50s?

In this episode of Pulling Threads, Weaving Authenticity, Leslie sits down with Jen Rulon — midlife transformation coach, TEDx speaker, 15-time Ironman finisher, and Kona qualifier — who walked away from her marriage, her career identity, and her relationship with alcohol, then moved alone to Costa Rica at 50.

Jen and Leslie unpack what they both call "the slow unraveling" — the years of incremental leaving that happen long before anyone physically goes. They talk about how the body keeps score of a life that no longer fits, why high-achieving women keep performing instead of living, and what it actually takes to stop chasing finish lines and start trusting yourself.

--TIMESTAMP--

00:00 – Introduction to Jen Rulon

02:08 – Leaving a life that looked perfect

07:46 – The year everything changed

10:19 – Letting go of a 30-year identity

12:05 – The Costa Rica trip that changed everything

13:00 – Her last drink and a new perspective

16:35 – Marriage counseling and uncertainty

18:18 – Rebuilding purpose and helping women

21:04 – Awakening, questioning, and change

24:00 – Trusting instead of forcing

29:11 – Choosing herself for the first time

30:02 – Realizing she was running from her marriage

33:25 – Separation and moving toward divorce

35:35 – Saying, “I want a divorce”

36:26 – Moving to Costa Rica

39:49 – The power of saying it out loud

41:08 – Performing a life vs. living one

43:00 – Why women avoid the inner work

46:25 – Childhood wounds and relationships

47:47 – What she truly wanted beneath success

50:07 – How inner work changes relationships

54:24 – Trauma bonds, loneliness, and fear

56:02 – Trusting yourself after divorce

58:05 – Jen’s Four Pillars: Movement, Metabolism, Mindset & Meaning

59:53 – Stress, cortisol, and relationships

1:00:29 – Meditation and nervous system regulation

1:03:58 – When relationships hold you back

1:05:57 – “I finally know who I am”

1:06:58 – Finding support and community

1:10:47 – Working with Jen

1:13:18 – Rise With The Tides Retreat

1:15:30 – Life after divorce

1:16:40 – There is life after the change you're afraid to make

▶ WORK WITH LESLIE

THROUGH — 8-week divorce recovery coaching program: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram

1:1 coaching, podcast, and resources: https://theloomlife.com

▶ CONNECT WITH JEN RULON

Website: https://jenrulon.com

Free Rise Strong Blueprint: https://jenrulon.myflodesk.com/blueprint

Instagram: @coachjenrulon

TikTok: @coachjenrulon

LinkedIn: Jen Rulon

Memoir releasing 11/11/2026

▶ IN THIS EPISODE

• Why "the leaving" happens long before you physically go

• Stacy Sims, perimenopause, and the moment Jen decided her last Ironman

• Getting sober in December 2019 — and what came into focus once the mask came off

• Asking for a trial separation, then asking for a divorce

• Moving to Costa Rica alone at 50 — and what her family thought

• Masculine and feminine energy, and why so many high-achieving women perform a life instead of living one

• Jen's four pillars: Movement, Metabolism, Mindset, Meaning

• Trauma bonds, the fear of loneliness, and why the fear is usually worse than the reality

• Why finding people who match your energy is non-negotiable

▶ THIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU IF

You're a woman in midlife who's done everything right and still finds yourself wondering, "Is this it?" You're navigating a divorce, sobriety, an empty nest, a career pivot — or you can feel the slow creep that you've been living someone else's life.

▶ SUBSCRIBE

Hit subscribe so you never miss a Tuesday episode. If this conversation resonated, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — it genuinely helps other women find this work.

▶ FOLLOW THE LOOM LIFE

Instagram: @the.loom.life

TikTok: @leslieellenmathews

Web: https://theloomlife.com

#midlifetransformation #divorcerecovery #startingover #sobriety #theloomlife

What if your burnout isn't a personal failure — but a systemic one? Award-winning journalist Stefanie O'Connell joins Leslie to unpack The Ambition Penalty.

📕 Get Stefanie's book: https://tooambitious.com/book/

💧 Ready to move through your divorce with structure and support? Explore THROUGH, Leslie's 8-week coaching program → https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram

──────────────

In this conversation, Stefanie pulls back the curtain on what the research actually shows about why women — across industries, identities, and life stages — are still systematically held back at work and at home. Her book draws on more than 450 academic citations to dismantle the most persistent myth in modern gender inequality: that women just need to lean in harder, negotiate better, or believe in themselves more.

Leslie and Stefanie talk about the data on backlash against women who ask for raises, the 30+ identity characteristics that get weaponized against women in hiring decisions, why the home — not the office — is where most women's burnout actually originates, and the 400-hour-per-year personal leisure gap between U.S. men and women. They also unpack the quiet shift from collective empowerment to individualistic self-help, why the pay gap hasn't budged in 20 years, and what a meaningful collective response actually looks like.

This is essential listening for any woman who is over being overworked — but not over her ambition.

─── Timestamps ───

00:00 Introduction to Stefanie O'Connell

01:15 From theater to financial journalism

04:14 The myth that women lack ambition

06:30 Why the research has been hiding in plain sight

07:01 When negotiating backfires for women

09:24 The hidden biases keeping women out of leadership

12:20 Why ambition is viewed differently in men and women

15:05 The importance of examining our own biases

15:53 What surprised Stefanie most in the data

16:30 The unpaid labor gap and women's burnout

18:45 Leslie shares her personal career and marriage story

22:08 How family dynamics shape workplace culture

24:39 The invisible workload of stay-at-home mothers

26:00 Choosing a partner who supports your ambitions

27:00 Why community support matters more than ever

28:27 The danger of turning systemic problems into personal failures

30:45 Why collective solutions create lasting change

34:40 Entrepreneurship, coaching, and gender bias

36:50 Why women are often judged differently when charging for their expertise

38:00 Building resilience through community and collective action

39:30 Modeling healthy relationships and ambition for our children

41:40 The loneliness epidemic and rebuilding connection

44:00 Why data matters in conversations about women’s experiences

45:30 The gaslighting women experience around work and ambition

46:50 What meaningful collective action actually looks like

48:00 Why progress on the pay gap has stalled

50:20 The growing hostility toward women in the workplace

52:35 A message for ambitious women who feel exhausted

53:35 Building community instead of carrying shame

54:05 Where to find Stefanie and her book

55:00 Final reflections and closing thoughts

──────────────

🧵 ABOUT PULLING THREADS

Pulling Threads with Leslie Mathews is a podcast about untangling the patterns, stories, and systems that keep us stuck — and weaving something more authentic in their place. New episodes weekly.

🌐 Connect with Leslie:

• Website: https://theloomlife.com

• Therapy: https://loomlifetherapy.com

• Personal site: https://leslieellenmathews.com

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.loom.life

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@leslieellenmathews

📕 Connect with Stefanie O'Connell:

• Book — The Ambition Penalty: https://tooambitious.com/book/

• Substack (Too Ambitious): https://tooambitious.substack.com/

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stefanieoconnell/

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@stefaniemoconnell

──────────────

If this episode resonated, please leave a 5-star rating and share it with one woman in your life who needs to hear it.

#TheAmbitionPenalty #WomenAndWork #PullingThreadsPodcast #BurnoutRecovery #StefanieOConnell

Touch hunger is the loneliness no one warns divorced men about — when the isolation stops being emotional and becomes physical. (For the Boys, Round 10.)

🧭 Work with Leslie 1:1. Book a free discovery call → [INSERT DIRECT BOOKING LINK]

Coaching: theloomlife.com

Leslie: leslieellenmathews.com

Therapy (FL): loomlifetherapy.com

↓ SHOW MORE CUTOFF — keep everything above this line above the fold ↓

In this episode, Leslie names something the men’s content space and even the therapy world tend to skip: touch hunger (or skin hunger) — the measurable, physical toll of going from a partner’s daily touch to none, sometimes overnight. She walks through what a touch-starved nervous system actually reaches for after divorce (rebound relationships, dating apps at midnight, alcohol, and the modern consolations), what the history and clinical research say about paid companionship and platonic touch therapy, and why most of it treats the symptom rather than the cause.

Then she dreams out loud: what a real, trauma-informed concierge support structure for men in the first 12–18 months after a marriage ends could look like — and asks you to weigh in. This is a longer, no-compromises conversation, and your comments are the point.

💬 A note on support

If the loneliness has gotten heavy, you’re not weak and you’re not alone — reaching out is the strong move. In the U.S. you can call or text 988 anytime to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If you’re ready for steady, structured support through the season, the discovery call link above is a good first step.

⏱️ CHAPTERS (timestamps estimated — see verification note)

0:00 What this episode is (and why it goes there)

2:00 Touch hunger / skin hunger: what your nervous system is doing

4:00 Why the touch disappeared overnight

5:00 What men reach for first: rebound, apps, alcohol, the ex

6:00 OnlyFans and parasocial intimacy: renting a partner

9:00 Sugar-baby / arrangement apps and the hidden cost

11:00 A short history of paid companionship

14:00 How other countries handle this — and what the research says

16:00 Professional cuddling / platonic touch therapy

19:00 Medicine or anesthesia? The judgment is in the use

20:00 A dream: a concierge support structure for men

23:00 Why virtual-only and clean boundaries are a feature

26:00 A men’s track vs. a women’s track — and a question for you

🔗 Connect

Instagram: @the.loom.life

TikTok: @leslieellenmathews

▶️ Related from For the Boys

Round 7 — the disclosure relationship (referenced in this episode): [INSERT EP 7 URL]

Keywords: touch hunger, skin hunger, loneliness after divorce, men’s mental health, life coach for men after divorce, coping with divorce loneliness, how men heal after breakup, men’s personal growth after divorce

#ForTheBoys #DivorceRecovery #MensMentalHealth #LonelinessAfterDivorce #PullingThreads

What happens when the systems that raised you also silenced you?

In this episode, memoirist and survivor advocate Kate Johnson joins Leslie to talk about religious trauma, purity culture, and the long road of finding your voice after a lifetime of being told to stay quiet.

Kate grew up a pastor's daughter inside the PCA evangelical church, where Calvinist teachings around "total depravity" merged with authoritarian parenting to create a childhood organized around shame, obedience, and performance. When her family was placed on the sex offender registry, she learned a second, deeper lesson: her safety lay in her silence. This conversation traces what it took to undo that — through writing, embodiment, estrangement, anger, and the slow reclaiming of identity.

Whether you're deconstructing your faith, healing from purity culture, navigating estrangement, or just trying to reconnect with your own voice after years of self-silencing — this one is for you.

─── WORK WITH LESLIE ───

THROUGH — 8-week divorce recovery program: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram

1:1 Coaching & Therapy: https://theloomlife.com

Book a discovery call: https://theloomlife.com

─── CONNECT WITH KATE ───

Substack (Quips & Confessionals): https://katejohnsonwrites.substack.com

Instagram: @katejohnsonwrites

TikTok: @katejohnsonwrites

Threads: @katejohnsonwrites

Bluesky: @katejohnsonwrites

─── CHAPTERS ───

00:00 Welcome & introducing Kate

02:30 Trapeze as healing & reclaiming the inner child

06:30 Growing up a pastor's daughter (PCA & Calvinism)

11:00 "You are bad" — how religious shame forms core beliefs

13:30 Parenting across generations: authoritarian to conscious

18:30 Why kids in divorce need their own therapist

23:30 Voice as savior: from buried to spoken

25:30 The sex offender registry: when silence becomes safety

30:00 What most people don't understand about the registry

35:30 Why women stay: shame, survival & "Conjuring the Hurricane"

42:00 Family courts, custody & protecting children

46:30 Purity culture, bisexuality & leaving evangelicalism

51:30 Estrangement, boundaries & what repentance really means

55:30 Embodiment, grounding & coming home to the body

59:30 Reiki, The Artist's Way & reconnecting to creativity

1:03:00 Anger as a signal & reclaiming identity

1:08:00 Quips & Confessionals: humor as reclamation

1:12:00 Final message: trust your body, use your voice

─── FOLLOW THE LOOM LIFE ───

Website: https://theloomlife.com

Therapy: https://loomlifetherapy.com

Leslie's site: https://leslieellenmathews.com

Instagram: @the.loom.life

TikTok: @leslieellenmathews

─── DISCLAIMER ───

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for therapy, medical care, or professional mental health treatment. If you are in crisis, please contact a licensed provider or call/text 988 in the U.S.

Keywords: religious trauma podcast, purity culture recovery, evangelical deconstruction, healing religious trauma, pastor's daughter, finding your voice, embodiment after trauma, complex PTSD, mental health podcast for women, trauma healing stories podcast

#ReligiousTrauma #HealingAfterTrauma #IdentityWork #SelfTrust #PullingThreads

If she left and you never saw it coming, you’re not broken — and you’re not alone. Book a free discovery call → theloomlife.com

In this “For the Boys” episode, Leslie Mathews — former attorney turned coach — unpacks one of the most common experiences divorced men share in private: “I didn’t see it coming.” Meanwhile, on the other side of that sentence, his wife is certain she’d been telling him for years. How can both be true?

Around 65–75% of U.S. divorces are initiated by women, and the number climbs in the “gray divorce” (over-40s and over-50s) demographic. Leslie researched what’s actually happening underneath the so-called “walk-away wife” phenomenon — and found five dynamics that explain the blindsiding, with respect for both sides.

This isn’t about blame. It’s about turning a confusing loss into a knowable pattern you can understand, grieve, and — if you choose — do differently next time. Whether you’re post-divorce or still inside a marriage you want to save, this conversation gives you language and a way forward.

Inside this episode:

The Complaint–Decision Asymmetry — why the day her complaining stopped was the loudest signal, not peace

Selective hearing and the avoidant nervous system — how years of “I’m not happy” register as background noise

The cultural script that treated logistics as love — and mistook structure for substance

Hearing vs. taking seriously — the hardest one, and the difference that quietly ends marriages

Grief asymmetry — why she can seem “cold” when she’s actually already finished grieving

Plus: what to do now — the one question to ask if you’re still in your marriage, and how to become a different kind of listener.

→ Work with Leslie (1:1 coaching): theloomlife.com

→ Florida therapy clients: loomlifetherapy.com

→ Book a free discovery call: [INSERT DIRECT BOOKING LINK — see verification box]

This is part of a three-episode set for men. Listen alongside Episode 6 (anger and the grief underneath it) and Episode 7 (men and friendships / building support). They can be heard in any order.

Connect with Leslie:

Websites: theloomlife.com · loomlifetherapy.com · leslieellenmathews.com

Instagram: @the.loom.life · TikTok: @leslieellenmathews

If section four landed for you, drop a comment — other men are reading, and they need to know they’re not alone.

#DivorceForMen #GrayDivorce #DivorceRecovery #MensMentalHealth #LifeAfterDivorce

00:00 Welcome — “I didn’t see it coming”

02:00 How both things can be true (Leslie’s own divorce)

03:30 The stats: women initiate 65–75% of divorces

04:00 The “walk-away wife” phenomenon — used carefully

07:00 This isn’t blame: what to know before the five

08:00 #1 The Complaint–Decision Asymmetry

11:00 #2 Selective hearing & the avoidant nervous system

12:30 #3 The cultural script: logistics vs. feeling

14:30 #4 Hearing vs. taking it seriously

18:30 #5 Grief asymmetry — why she seems “cold”

20:30 What to do: recognition without shame

21:30 The grief work + Episodes 6 & 7

23:00 Still in the marriage? Ask the separate question

24:00 Real compromise: meeting needs without losing yourself

27:00 Post-divorce: become a different kind of listener

28:30 Closing & how to work with Leslie

Why do we keep choosing partners who hurt us? In this episode, mental health advocate and author Petrona Joseph joins Leslie to unpack trauma bonds, unsafe love, and the abandonment wound that drives the loop.

▶ WORK WITH LESLIE

8-week divorce recovery program — THROUGH: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram

1:1 coaching with Leslie: https://theloomlife.com

▶ ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Petrona Joseph spent years pushing through panic attacks, depression, and a 17-year on-and-off relationship she now recognizes as a trauma bond. In this conversation she shares the moment her anxiety stopped her on a bridge in rush hour, why she resisted antidepressants for a decade, and how a primary caregiver's absence early in life shaped the unsafe partners she kept choosing as an adult.

Leslie and Petrona dig into the neuroscience of trauma bonds (why they feel exactly like love), what "closing the loop" of a childhood wound actually looks like in adult relationships, and why most men in their 40s, 50s, and 60s still don't have a single safe person to talk to. This one is for anyone who has watched themselves return — over and over — to a person who keeps hurting them, and is starting to wonder if it's something deeper than love.

▶ WHAT YOU'LL LEARN

Why trauma bonds get mistaken for love — and the biological reason the pull is so strong

How an abandonment wound from childhood shapes who you're attracted to as an adult

The difference between an unsafe person and someone who is just imperfect

What it looked like for Petrona to finally accept a depression diagnosis after years of resistance

Why "experiential" mental health advocacy matters alongside clinical expertise

The state of men's mental health and why most men have no safe people

▶ ABOUT THE GUEST

Petrona Joseph is an award-winning Communications Strategist, Presidential Lifetime Achievement Award recipient, and MHFA-certified Mental Health Workshop Facilitator. A trilingual Concordia University graduate in Linguistics, she is the author of Stigmatized: Demystifying Mental Health Illness and the upcoming Unsafe Love: Healing From Trauma Bonds, Betrayal, and Unsafe Attachment. Through Above Healing and Wellness, she has reached over 10,000 people across North America with workshops on resilience and early intervention.

Timestamp:

00:00 Welcome Petrona Joseph

02:10 Thinking in French and growing up multilingual

05:05 From Trinidad to Grenada, New York, and Montreal

08:20 Ambition, law school, and ignoring mental health

13:30 Luxury cars, PR, TV, and finding a new path

19:45 Becoming “the annoying best friend” in PR

22:00 Anxiety attacks and the beginning of advocacy

30:10 The bridge panic attack that changed everything

36:20 Accepting medication and getting support

43:00 Healing is not a one-time fix

49:30 When anxiety affects everyday life

56:00 Going public about panic attacks

1:02:00 Writing about depression and mental health

1:08:00 Unsafe Love and trauma bonds

1:15:30 Why trauma bonds feel like love

1:24:00 Childhood wounds and repeating patterns

1:33:30 Attachment, abandonment, and trying to close the loop

1:43:00 When relationships become a place for healing

1:56:00 What secure love and repair can look like

2:10:00 Building psychologically safe relationships and cultures

2:18:30 Becoming a safe person after unsafe patterns

2:28:00 Mental health crisis support and men’s mental health

2:40:00 Why men need safe spaces too

2:52:00 Petrona’s books and where to find her

2:57:00 Closing reflections and goodbye

Follow Petrona on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iampetronajoseph

▶ CONNECT WITH LESLIE

Website: https://theloomlife.com

Therapy practice: https://loomlifetherapy.com

Personal site: https://leslieellenmathews.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.loom.life

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@leslieellenmathews

▶ IF THIS EPISODE HELPED

Subscribe, leave a 5-star rating on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, and share this episode with someone you think needs to hear it. Reviews are how new listeners find the show.

#TraumaBonds #UnsafeLove #MentalHealthPodcast #DivorceRecovery #AbandonmentWound #AvoidantAttachment #PullingThreads

Why do so many men have no close friends by 50? In For the Boys (Ep. 7), Leslie pulls back the threads on male loneliness — and the hidden flaw in how men build friendship.

→ Work with Leslie 1:1 (book a discovery call): theloomlife.com

→ In Florida? Therapy with Leslie: loomlifetherapy.com

→ More from Leslie: leslieellenmathews.com

→ Instagram @the.loom.life · TikTok @leslieellenmathews

———

If something bad happened tonight, who would you call at ten o’clock just to be heard? If you struggled to name someone — or named someone you haven’t actually called in years — you’re not unusual. You’re statistically average for a man in your demographic, and it’s one of the quietest, most costly features of modern male life.

In this episode, Leslie looks directly at male loneliness and the friendship gap so many men hit in their 40s, 50s, and 60s. Studies over the last two decades show a steady decline in close male friendships — with roughly 15% of men reporting no close friends at all, and about one in four saying they have no one to lean on for personal support. The isolation tends to climb after marriage, fatherhood, divorce, and retirement.

The core idea: most men’s friendships are built on “activity scaffolding” — you’re friends because you golf, work, or your kids play together. When the activity ends, the friendship quietly ends with it, because the activity WAS the connection. Women more often build on “disclosure scaffolding” — friendships held together by what’s been shared — which is far more portable. Divorce is one of the most efficient scaffolding-removers there is.

Leslie walks through the three steps that actually rebuild connection in midlife:

1) Decide to build friendship on purpose — it won’t arrive by accident.

2) Choose disclosure on purpose — tell one man something slightly more honest than your default.

3) Build a structure that does the work for you — a men’s group, a recovery community, or a standing dinner with a rule to talk about the real thing.

This is the most important non-romantic relational work a man can do — and it protects the next relationship from carrying weight no single person was meant to hold.

A note on support

This conversation touches on isolation and men’s mental health. If you’re struggling, you don’t have to carry it alone. In the U.S. you can call or text 988 anytime to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

CHAPTERS (see timestamps below — verify against final video before publishing).

Keywords: male loneliness, midlife male friendship, men with no friends, how to make friends as a man, male friendship after divorce, men’s mental health, life after divorce for men.

#ForTheBoys #MensMentalHealth #MaleLoneliness #PullingThreads #LifeAfterDivorce

00:00 The Question: Who Would You Call at 10pm?

01:10 For the Boys, Ep. 7 — The Friendship Piece

02:50 The Hard Facts: Male Friendship in Decline

04:40 Why Men Around 50 Are High Risk

06:00 The Fatal Flaw: Activity Scaffolding

07:50 How Women Build Friendships Differently

08:50 Why Divorce Removes the Scaffolding

09:40 The Script Men Were Raised With

14:50 When You Reach for the Phone — and There’s No One

15:40 Step 1: Build Friendship on Purpose

16:30 Step 2: Choose Disclosure With One Man

17:30 Step 3: Build a Structure That Does the Work

18:50 Don’t Put It All on the Next Partner

20:00 Closing + How to Work With Leslie

Money is never just money. In this solo episode of Pulling Threads, Leslie Mathews explores why money affirmations and manifestation so often fail — and why real abundance work has to happen in the body, the nervous system, and the family story you inherited.

➤ Ready to do this work with support? Book a free discovery call: https://theloomlife.com/discoverycall

➤ More from The Loom Life: https://theloomlife.com

You can repeat “money flows to me easily” until you believe you mean it and still feel a quiet ceiling you can’t push through. That’s not a mindset failure. The part of your nervous system that decides what you’re allowed to receive isn’t listening to your affirmations — it’s listening to your history.

In this episode, Leslie unspools the tangle of money one thread at a time: the legacy burdens we inherit from parents and grandparents, the protective “parts” that overwork, under-earn, hoard, or give too much away, and the complex trauma that can make expansion feel physically dangerous. She breaks down how money wounds show up differently for women — the “good girl” conditioning around wanting and receiving — and for men — the provider equation and the shame of feeling “not enough to carry it.” And she explains why divorce is one of the most accelerated abundance journeys a person can move through.

Then she gets practical, walking through the tools that actually move this work: Internal Family Systems (IFS) for the protective parts, EMDR for the specific memories that locked them in place, and subconscious work through guided meditation and hypnosis. This is a science-meets-spirit conversation about learning to feel safe enough to receive.

Whether you’re years post-divorce like Leslie or just starting to notice your own money ceiling, this is a gentle, honest invitation to meet your money story with curiosity instead of shame.

IN THIS EPISODE

Why “money is never just money” — and what it’s really carrying

Legacy burdens: the money beliefs you inherited without consenting to them

How protective parts quietly run your financial life (IFS)

When abundance becomes neurologically “dangerous”

The different money wounds women and men carry

Why divorce surfaces every unhealed money belief

Using IFS, EMDR, and subconscious work together

CHAPTERS

00:00 — Why affirmations alone don’t move the money ceiling

00:50 — What this episode is about (science meets spirit)

03:00 — The layer beneath the story: your body’s history

06:00 — Why money is never just money

08:00 — Legacy burdens: the beliefs you inherited

10:30 — Your protective money parts (IFS)

12:00 — When complex trauma makes abundance feel dangerous

14:30 — Watch what your parents did, not what they said

18:00 — The deeper inheritance: generational money wounds

19:00 — Women & “good girl” money conditioning

22:00 — Men & the provider equation

24:00 — Divorce as an accelerated abundance journey

27:00 — Doing the work: IFS & unburdening

31:00 — EMDR for the memories that locked it in

34:00 — The subconscious layer: hypnosis & meditation

36:00 — Why you need all the tools, not one lane

40:00 — 4 places to start your own abundance work

43:00 — Working together & final thoughts

RESOURCES & LINKS

➤ Book a free discovery call: https://theloomlife.com/discoverycall

➤ THROUGH — 8-week divorce coaching program for women: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram

➤ Website: https://theloomlife.com

➤ Loom Life Therapy: https://loomlifetherapy.com

➤ Instagram: @the.loom.life

➤ TikTok: @leslieellenmathews

➤ Email: [email protected]

Modalities & tools mentioned in this episode: Internal Family Systems (IFS), EMDR, polyvagal theory, Gabby Bernstein’s Abundance Challenge, and the To Be Magnetic Money Block hypnosis.

If this resonated, subscribe for new episodes of Pulling Threads, and leave a rating or review — it helps more people find this work.

Keywords: money trauma, abundance blocks, IFS therapy, EMDR, money mindset, nervous system healing, divorce recovery, manifestation, somatic healing, money blocks

#PullingThreads #MoneyTrauma #AbundanceMindset #IFSTherapy #DivorceRecovery

What if rock bottom is actually solid ground for the first time? Ariane Vera on starting over after burnout & divorce.

▸ THROUGH — Leslie's 8-week divorce coaching program: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram

▸ The Atelier — Ariane's membership for women building businesses: https://www.thejournalofahealer.com/p/the-atelier3

In this episode of Pulling Threads, Weaving Authenticity, Leslie sits down with Ariane Vera — founder of The Atelier, 12-time author, and 3-time TEDx speaker — for a conversation about what it actually takes to restart your life when burnout, divorce, chronic pain, and a global lockdown all arrive at once.

Ariane left the corporate world after a burnout her body had been warning her about for months. She moved to Mexico, started over from scratch, and turned her journaling practice into a book, a coaching method, and a membership community for women rebuilding their lives and businesses.

Leslie and Ariane go deep on the parts of the journey most people don't talk about — the loneliness of outgrowing relationships, the fear of being too much, the patriarchal programming that teaches women to disappear, and the visibility wounds that quietly sabotage how we show up online. They also get into human design, re-parenting, money mindset, and why your podcast (or business, or art) only starts working when it's an energetic match for who you actually are.

What you'll take away from this episode:

• Why your body's signals matter more than your career plan

• How to tell a "messy middle" friendship from one that's ready to break

• Ariane's Inner Colors journaling method for tracking intuition and triggers

• The difference between performing visibility and embodying it

• How to price your work without flinching

WORK WITH LESLIE

▸ THROUGH — 8-week divorce coaching program: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram

▸ 1:1 coaching — book a discovery call: https://theloomlife.com

▸ Loom Life Therapy (EMDR, IFS, trauma): https://loomlifetherapy.com

▸ Leslie's writing & resources: https://leslieellenmathews.com

CONNECT WITH ARIANE

▸ The Atelier membership: https://www.thejournalofahealer.com/p/the-atelier3

▸ The 30-Day Reset ($7): https://www.thejournalofahealer.com/p/the-30-day-reset-1024661

▸ Book — The Healing Journals (on Amazon)

▸ Instagram: @ariane__vera

▸ Substack: Heal & Scale

FOLLOW PULLING THREADS

▸ Instagram: @the.loom.life

▸ TikTok: @leslieellenmathews

▸ Subscribe so you don't miss Thursday solo episodes and Saturday's new series for men.

If this episode resonated, the kindest thing you can do is leave a rating, drop a comment with the moment that landed for you, and share it with one friend who's in the middle of their own restart.

#PullingThreads #PersonalGrowthPodcast #DivorceRecovery #BurnoutRecovery #WomenInBusiness