New year, new selfish-help adventures! This week, Megan (@hamsomepartybutt) journeys to Kansas City and drinks whiskey in an abandoned brothel with their guest, badass butcher Sarah Brieby (@queenofthebottoms). Sarah spills secrets of the secret lady butcher group, gushes about her love of skinning rabbits and poetically describes the grossest thing she ever did for ten bucks. Inspired by their new surroundings, Wendi (@wendibird82) comes up with a billion dollar business idea that will bring locals the finest cuts of meat and pu$$y. Then, the girls discover a new and exciting way to annoy Stephen (@thepenta) by simply recording in an echo chamber filled with the ghosts of blow jobs passed. The jammerz have a special (and silent) second guest… Megan’s boyfriend Preston! He quietly drinks whiskey the whole episode. In a dark corner. I’m not sure which is creepier, the ghosts of the whores, the delicious murdered animals downstairs, or the presence of an angry man! PLUS, is it more compassionate to murder and eat an animal that lived a hard life, or one that had a family? Who in the hell are ‘Boogans’, and could they be putting Sarah’s life in danger? Will Megan survive the whiskey and meat binge?? Can Wendi think of enough cow puns to overcome the shock of learning the slang term “Hank Jr.”?!? Most importantly, how will Stephen ever edit this into a coherent episode?!?!

The Jammerz got super busy (drunk) this holiday season and had to record a non-ep while Megan (@handsomepartybutt) was stuck in travel hell. It’s 11 minutes long, but don’t worry, through the magic of technology, Megan still manages to talk shit to Stephen (@thepenta) and Wendi (@wendibird82) reminds you that no matter what you’re doing for the holidays, we are all living in a simulation so everything is cool! And merry! And happy! Or whatever the hell you’re supposed to say!!!

What exactly is Jammerz? Like, what is the show’s ‘mission statement’? Is any of this shit actually helpful or is every episode just ANOTHER excuse for Megan and Wendi to fuck around??? This week, the trio is forced to explain the half-baked mission of this podcast because of a hypercritical email from ‘Thomas’, a new listener that happens to be banging Wendi. Before dissecting what shall be referred to as ‘THE EMAIL’, the Jammerz recap their week on a phone diet and a follow-up on Wendi’s recently condemned apartment. PLUS, Stephen (@thepenta) brags about his negative STD test results and dangling from skyscrapers THEN, Megan (@handsomepartybutt) and Wendi (@wendibird82) present a dramatic popcorn reading of the lengthy, most man-splaning email ever written. But… does he actually have good advice? Can the gang benefit from his suggestion to start microdosing while taking a cold morning shower?? After defending the efficacy and entertainment value (it’s a fucking COMEDY podcast, bro) of the show, they leave you with only one lingering question… where in the world did Megan and Wendi get their best friendship toilet?!?

Now that the Jammerz are forming a gang, they need badass haircuts to go with their new, tough alter egos so they brought in guest TALI, a newbie hairstylist, to teach them how to cut the shit out of their luscious locks. The trio is shockingly on topic UNTIL Megan (@handsomepartybutt) finally discovers Stephen’s (@thepenta) true identity AND the reason he not only does this show, but aggressively avoids talking about his age. They also debate whether or not Billy Crystal is a goblin and give out hot tips about how to discreetly package your feces to ensure you get an Uber pool to yourself! Then, Wendi (@wendibird82) threatens the guest just before handing her a pair of rusty scissors and demanding bangs. PLUS was Megan’s phone listening to her while she was having an underwear party with her boyfriend?

After an entire week of sketching self-portraits, these idiots are EXTRA self obsessed; specifically with their noses, curly hairs and stupid pancake heads. Were they able to discover and unleash hidden artistic genius OR are their scribblings more likely to land them in a prison or psych ward than even the shittiest of galleries?? THEN Stephen (@thepenta) complains about his thoughtful (and terrifyingly appropriate) birthday gifts, PLUS Megan (@handsomepartybutt) and Wendi (@wendibird82) come up with a brilliant scheme to not only celebrate but utilize farts of the lady persuasion for warfare!!! Or maybe just to sucker people into watching them eat sandwiches…

The Jammerz are back with another LISTENER INSPIRED EPISODE!!! Australian Jammer, Sarah, challenged the trio to selfishly express themselves through the art of… ART! Specifically drawing, painting AND vomiting colored milk onto a blank canvas. To help guide them through this sketchy, new territory, the gang calls on dear friend and obnoxiously talented artist, Alanna Vanacore (@alannavana)! While searching for inspiration, they each dig up painful memories; Stephen’s (@thepenta) abusive teachers, Megan’s (@handsomepartybutt) narcissistic lover and Wendi’s (@wendibird82) knock off welfare barbie dolls. Alanna attempts to encourage them to allow the art to flow through them, but have they unleashed new inner beasts? Can their friendships survive horrifically offensive interpretations of each others’ faces?? Is their guest using mermaid witchcraft to create her masterpieces?!? Can Stephen’s jizz really jack up the resale value of used flowers?!?

Happy Jammzgiving!!! The holiday season is upon us and the gang is here to prepare you for the onslaught of forced holiday hangs with last-minute gift giving tips, sexy new ways to get healthy, immune-boosting probiotics PLUS they reiterate the benefits of NOT committing suicide. Stephen (@thepenta) and Megan (@handsomepartybutt) bond over fuzzy childhood memories of shit- throwing punk rockers and Faces of Death while Wendi (@wendibird82)furiously googles said topics for masturbation purposes. THEN, while attempting to convert Stephen to team holiday cheer, the girls come up with yet ANOTHER genius movie franchise idea!! AND, in breaking news, Megan is having a sentient baby eater implanted in her uterus! But will her boyfriend’s monster cock destroy the newest tenant?! Can Wendi successfully annoy her family MORE by staying alive and away?? Is gifting your significant others’ family members with giant dildos a good idea or THE GREATEST IDEA EVER?!?

Sometimes in life you plan for things to go one way and then they kinda, sorta totally change. Like, say you start a podcast episode thinking it’s going to be centered around being selflessly volunteering in your community but INSTEAD you become inspired to start committing mail fraud. Wait. Actually that perfectly describes this week episode. But fear not! Megan (@handsomepartybutt) Stephen (@thepenta) and Wendi (@wendiburd82) take a cue from their guest, the ferociously funny Petey DeAbreu (@pdeezjokes), and improvise to bring you one of the most inspiring episodes of Jammerz to date! Marvel at Petey’s journey from a broke kid in the Bronx, to a wealthy hustler flashing his new rims all over South Beach during a hurricane, to the humble, idealistic community-serving comedian he is today. It’s a hilariously heartfelt discussion about keeping your chin up and your face smiling when life seems to be fucking with you everytime you turn around.

Pull out your junk and join the Jammerz as they drop-trou and expose themselves to cancer surviving one-ball wonder, sexual health advocate AND Biem founder Bryan Stacy (@talkingnut)!! Get the low down on everything from the protein content of your genitals to the latest in juicing trends PLUS the girls reveal the one thing consistently dries up their lady parts. Stephen (@thepenta) geeks out over his love of condoms, Megan (@handsomepartybutt) reminisces about her wild, needle-filled youth and Wendi (@wendibird82) confuses literally everything for a pickle. They also breakdown sex party etiquette, the best way to bring up your herpes AND weigh the pros and cons of a more lightweight, porous condom! Will our Jammerz prevail triumphant (and negative) OR will they be shunned into a life of practicing naked tai chi in the woods?!?

In the heavily anticipated follow up Jamsesh to the (geriatric) action-packed “I Brought Doughnuts”, the trio breaks down the details of their individual attempts to take their fitness to the NEXT. LEVEL. DAWG. Stephen (@thepenta) gets discouraged when, after just a few intense skipping sessions, he is not performing at the level of an Olympic athlete THEN justifies his lack of follow through on a fucking bender!!! ALSO, Megan (@handsomepartybutt) hit an obstacle in Crossfit when her quad muscle locked up mid exercise! Not that she’ll need to worry about the gym after her colonoscopy fast and laxative binge. Yes. You read that right. It’s long been a mystery as to why Megan, a young, healthy’ish woman has a sporadically bleeding anus and locking muscles UNTIL the Jammerz uncover clues that may trace every one of her physical ailments to an old, cum-soaked ankle injury!!