Quarantining With The Chrises

The Chrises are joined by the only harmonizer in the history of music to move to Nashville to retire from the twine and start a new career striking it rich from other people’s trash. Nate Motts pops the champagne of beers for this fancy Friday and The Chrises witness their first mannequin make-out while making a vintage personalized necklace with a key, a strand of hair, and a shoelace. The prince of pyrite parties shows us his Megalodon tooth, explains how to embrace the fleas at the market, and reveals how he coined 1888 designs. ~ QWTChrises.com ~ Patreon.com/QWTChrises ~ GoFundMe w/ Okizu “No Hair For Care” (gofundme.com/f/no-hair-for-care)

Aunt Dee Dee guides The Chrises through planting succulents into solo cups and teaches them the keys to keeping plants alive. The Queen of Creative Gifts joins from her Reiki Zen Garden, introduces the world’s first puzzle featuring The Chrises, and enlightens the world that it is ok to take what you want when its in the name of spreading nature. The Chrises check in on Tito’s woodworking and learn his secret to a happy marriage is getting new knobs and going an inch deep one or two times a week. ~ QWTChrises.com ~ Patreon.com/QWTChrises ~ GoFundMe w/ Okizu “No Hair For Care” (gofundme.com/f/no-hair-for-care)

Cycle Bar Manhattan Beach gives a sneak peak on training for the race within oneself. Diego Arias, the general manager, divulges the cleaning and sanitization process to ensure members feel safe and comfortable for the South Bay’s premium cycling experience [hint: it includes a halo not worn by Beyoncé]. With hopes of opening up at the end of summer, Cycle Bar Manhattan Beach will be providing masks, shoes, towels, and water for all members. From those who want to zone out and enjoy the ride, like Christopher Joseph, to those who want to compete with power and focus on performance, like Christopher Michaels—there’s a class for everyone! CODE: CHRISES139 ~ QWTChrises.com ~ Patreon.com/QWTChrises ~ GoFundMe w/ Okizu “No Hair For Care” (gofundme.com/f/no-hair-for-care)

The Godfather of The Chrises dresses to impress and gives the people what they want as he comes in blazing with the hard hitting questions from the doghouse. The original throuple settle their quarantine quarrel as Justin gets over being replaced with Ryan by making new friends who don’t remember his name. The Woz enlightens the world on why black and white dreams are remembered, Pikachu is the worst Pokémon to take to the bathroom, and dragon hunters get beers in the castle. QWTChrises.com ~ Patreon.com/QWTChrises ~ GoFundMe w/ Okizu “No Hair For Care” (gofundme.com/f/no-hair-for-care)

Music Review Monday’s kicks off with Dizzy Dames debuting his hot new track “Screaming” and discussing the recent premier of the “Clark Bruce” video. The inventor of clapping with your wrist freshens up fireside with The Chrises and confesses the time a goat “helped” him and divulges plans a possible tour in the Jambulance. The gatekeeper of Bob Dylan at OldChella plays FMK with musical legends [hint: no ones got moves like him]. QWTChrises.com ~ Patreon.com/QWTChrises ~ GoFundMe w/ Okizu “No Hair For Care” (gofundme.com/f/no-hair-for-care)

Mountain Man and owner of Dog Rock Resorts, Mike Abrams, denies the use of beard growth hormones as he prepares to reopen his mountain resort for dogs in New City, New York. While Mike professionally accepts all canines with no previous aggressions and provides the highest quality PetAirapy, he deals broken laptops and breaks camels’ backs on the side. During his escape from a well unplanned date night, the organic beard grower reveals the key to telling twins apart is by looking behind their ears. QWTChrises.com ~ Patreon.com/QWTChrises ~ GoFundMe w/ Okizu “No Hair For Care” (gofundme.com/f/no-hair-for-care)

The Chrises turn their swagger on and unveil their new shirts with the man behind the baking instructions, Davey. One-time CEO of LA Fashion announces his resignation and makes plans to follow his new found purpose: designing neon accoutrement for The Chrises. In a gesture of gratitude to the USC math major alum, Christopher Joseph drops the hottest freestyle “Davey-4-A-Day”.  The newly appointed COO of Old Man Transitions shares what retirement life is like: peaking at 11:30 am, kneading afternoon dough, and unwinding early with a neat White Negroni. ~ QWTChrises.com ~ Patreon.com/QWTChrises ~ GoFundMe w/ Okizu “No Hair For Care” (gofundme.com/f/no-hair-for-care)

The Chrises spend quality time on Fancy Friday with the “4 Minutes For You” superstar podcaster and former Miss Teen Vermont. Reporting in the midst of maple syrup tourist season and yoga teacher training, Bridget reveals her big plans to open a goat yoga farm in the Northeast. The former Patriots cheerleader demonstrates a proper cow pose and recalls the only time she did not blackout on the field. Bridget swoops in and intercepts The Chrises’ sponsor of the day: Leefy Organics. ~ QWTChrises.com ~ Patreon.com/QWTChrises ~ GoFundMe w/ Okizu “No Hair For Care” (gofundme.com/f/no-hair-for-care)

The Chrises learn how to touch chakras and manifest abundance with sound bath healer, Amy Rose. The Reverse Warrior Princess shines light on setting new intentions and bringing in cathartic energy for the new moon in Gemini. Freaky Friday moments are revealed as she consistently battles over an influencer light with her teenage daughter. The fifty year old mother of two attributes having the energy of a twenty-five year old to eating healthy, cutting out alcohol, spending time in nature, and doing "LSD". [The Chrises can only handle 1/100th of the recommended breathwork required]. QWTChrises.com ~ Patreon.com/QWTChrises ~ GoFundMe w/ Okizu “No Hair For Care” (gofundme.com/f/no-hair-for-care)

The Chrises are joined with holistic nutritionist and all around good human being behind Leefy Organics. Carl Kuran shares the back story on how Leefy Organics was founded in response to his mom’s severe nasal congestion. After eight months of suffering, Carl’s mother was relieved by Leefy Organics Prana within only two minutes. This domestically sourced organic turmeric and ginger tincture assists with all inflammation and helps with head aches, migraines, allergies, pain, cold/flu recovery, and menstrual pain. [Pro tip: shake and pump twice]. ~ QWTChrises.com ~ Patreon.com/QWTChrises ~ GoFundMe w/ Okizu “No Hair For Care” (gofundme.com/f/no-hair-for-care)