RealPositiveGirl - Weekly Encouragement & Mental Health

Sometimes you just need a quick & dirty way to manage your emotions in the moment.  But there are behaviors that we tend to lean into that aren't very helpful to us, but are just more habit. I'm sharing a list of the best & worst behaviors, which ones need to go & which to lean into more.

Show Notes:
I love to talk about becoming more self-aware & understanding yourself better. I talk highly about honoring your emotions & not allowing these to get stuffed under the rug just for a volcanic explosion to happen later (it always does). But I also understand that these actions & exercises take work & sometimes you’re not in the mood for work. Sometimes you want to do something that is right to the point to get you through. 

But you might also be thinking, “Why can’t I just avoid my emotions until it becomes too much to bear?” Because it will break you. It’s the simplest answer I can give you. It will break you, your relationships, your life. It’s not ideal.

This is why today I want to go over some great ways to manage your emotions & some not-so-great ways to manage your emotions in simple to implement into your life ways. These will be quick solutions to use in the moment to gauge whether you are choosing a positive or negative way to manage your current emotions.

I’m going to start with a list of the worst, more negative options to take when trying to manage your emotions. The idea is for you to be able to identify what isn’t the best choice for you by taking note of this list & maybe having it to refer back to later.

Negative Emotional Management:

1. Yelling at someone
2. Lacking boundaries & saying ‘yes’ to everything
3. Binge eating
4. Using drugs and/or alcohol to numb the pain
5. Self-Harm
6. Bullying & blaming others
7. Not asking for help & withdrawing from others

Positive Emotional Management:

1. Chatting with someone about how you feel
2. Moving your body (exercise, walk, stretching)
3. Crying
4. Take a break (nap, shower, bath)
5. Distract yourself with a movie or game
6. Make a list of how the problem can be solved
7. Do something positive for someone else

Hopefully reviewing these ideas on how to manage your emotions was helpful for you. Whether in identifying what you might want to stop doing and/or what you should start doing. Or both!

I want to leave you with one last way to manage your emotions on the fly. If you can remember to: Stop, Accept, Consider, Support, it will help bring whatever emotional state you are in to a halt to figure out the best way to proceed. Stop is just stopping in the moment to give yourself a break to evaluate your mental state. Accept is reminding you to accept your emotions, whether positive or negative. Consider is taking a beat to decide if it’s worth it to take your emotion to an aggressive level, ask more questions to have a better understanding of what’s going on or to just let it go because it isn’t worth your time or energy. And Support is to seek out help & support if you need someone else to help you understand your emotions or just someone to lean on while you figure it out yourself.

Thank you again for listening & I hope this episode was helpful.

Come visit me on my Instagram page @sabri

Support the show

Watch the Video Version of RPG: https://www.youtube.com/@realpositivegirl/podcasts
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Email Me: [email protected]

Instead of always piling the pressure on to be perfect or not allow yourself to be anything but the best, let's practice more self-compassion. I share with you how to shift your perfectionist thoughts into ones more focused on self-compassion.

Show Notes:
I’m sure there are many of us that struggle with being as compassionate to ourselves as we should be. I, myself, struggle with perfectionism because I grew up with really high expectations. And even when those expectations faded away because I grew up & moved away from home, that way of living still stuck. And it actually got worse because I believed I had to try harder to impress all the new people I was meeting at college & everywhere else.

And I’m sure many of you have felt similarly & struggle with showing yourself compassion rather than fall into the trap of being perfect & stressing yourself because of it. Which is why I wanted to share with you some ways to flip your thinking from a perfectionist mindset to more self-compassionate. The more you practice this, the easier it becomes as time goes on.

Before we get into some ways to transform thoughts that are perfectionism-based into more self-compassion based, I want to chat about how we view both of these labels.

Some people view perfectionism as a positive thing. It’s this trait that people are proud to say they have because it’s supposed to mean you are the best & most thorough at what you do, mistakes are not your thing & you should be highly regarded. But in reality, it’s very self-defeating because it’s impossible to be perfect, but also it’s just a shield to protect you from enduring feelings of failure or judgment. It seems better to deal with fear of failure instead of actual failure. Brene Brown even talks about how perfectionism is not the same as striving for your best, but actually to protect yourself from the pain of shame, judgment & blame.

Now self-compassion on the other hand is so much better. This is obvious, I know. Self-compassion is all about forgiving yourself for mistakes & failures that will happen in life & knowing those things don’t define us. It’s being understanding toward ourselves when our emotions are more negative & self-deprecating. It’s the idea that comforting yourself is better than denying your pain & feelings. You make the decision to be understanding, accepting & loving to yourself, like you would with a friend or loved one that is feeling down.

Here are some perfectionism thoughts transformed into self-compassionate thoughts to help you get an idea on how this can help:

1. “I need to be better & do more.” INSTEAD “I’m doing the best I can do right now & that’s fine for now.”
2. “I have no room for error in anything I do.” INSTEAD “Mistakes & failures are some of our greatest teachers & these experiences will make me better & stronger.”
3. “I really need everyone to like me to be worthy & accepted.” INSTEAD “The most important person that needs to like me is myself & that’s all.”
4. “For me to be worthy, I have to be successful & good at everything.” INSTEAD “I am worthy with or without success & it’s not based on what I do but knowing I am worthy just being myself & believing in myself.”

Thank you again for listening & I hope this episode was helpful.

Come visit me on my Instagram page @sabrinajoyperozzo to say hi or on Clubhouse @sabrinajperoz

Support the show

Watch the Video Version of RPG: https://www.youtube.com/@realpositivegirl/podcasts
Buy the Planner on AMAZON!: https://amzn.to/3WwthT2
Visit me on Instagram or TikTok: @sabrinajoyperozzo
Email Me: [email protected]

Frustrations & inconveniences can be more than just annoying events in our lives. These can be opportunities for reaching out to others in a ministry fashion or just finding the silver lining & making the best of it. I am sharing 4 tips on how to deal with frustrations & not let these ruin your whole day!

Show Notes:
I’d be lying if I told you that I didn’t let the little things bother me. I have spent a good portion of my life allowing the little problems & inconveniences in life get a rise out of me because of my struggle with perfectionism. It also has to do with people-pleasing & just growing up in an environment where expectations were set sky-high.

Did you happen to experience something similar & you also struggle with allowing these little things to get to you? And I agree that these things don’t seem very little in the moment. The appearance is large and in charge & overwhelming & annoying. To the max. But I want you to know that it doesn’t have to be such a bother. Surprising, I know.

There is a downward spiral that can happen, if we allow it, when these random, annoying occurrences pop up & get in the way of other things. Have you ever noticed that if you have nothing else going on & something small like this comes along, it isn’t as bad of an experience? But when you are invested in something, even something minor, anything getting in your way can be more than you can handle. It’s because we suddenly lack control over things going the way we want & that’s a tough truth to swallow.

The spiral can result in releasing a ton of anger, directing that anger & projecting it onto someone else & allowing these events to sour everything else. Our minds tend to focus so hard on the bad things that happen, even if the proportion of good & bad is higher on the good side. It’s also having a habit of leaning into being more reactive than responsive. 

The truth is we do this to ourselves. I know that’s a hard truth to accept, but it’s real & a fact. Many of our struggles are due to our inability to see that changing behavior & mindset will produce good results. And this has a lot to do with fear, limiting beliefs & the environments we have grown up in & been exposed to, but I find that if we accept the truth that we have the power to pull ourselves out of these mindsets since we allowed ourselves to fall or be sucked into it, we become stronger.

Here are some tips on how to deal with life’s frustrations & inconveniences:

1. Accept Your Feelings Because Those Are Normal
2. Consider If It’s Worth Reacting Negatively
3. Tap Into Perspective
4. Make the Most of the Situation & See the Inconvenience as an Opportunity

Thank you again for listening & I hope this episode was helpful.

Come visit me on my Instagram page @sabrinajoyperozzo to say hi or on Clubhouse @sabrinajperozzo to chat!

Have any questions, comments or feedback?  Send me an email at [email protected]!

Support the show

Watch the Video Version of RPG: https://www.youtube.com/@realpositivegirl/podcasts
Buy the Planner on AMAZON!: https://amzn.to/3WwthT2
Visit me on Instagram or TikTok: @sabrinajoyperozzo
Email Me: [email protected]

If you find yourself feeling like you always have to defend yourself or protect yourself from what others say, you might consider whether you struggle with defensiveness or not. Let's chat about how to depend less on defensiveness as a coping mechanism.

Show Notes:
Do you feel like people are always attacking you (verbally & emotionally, not physically) or inferring that you’re wrong? Or maybe they are just pushing back on you in whatever you’re saying or speaking about. But it feels like you are always having to defend yourself, right?

Well, I want you to consider whether or not this is because you’re being too defensive.

When we feel like we are being attacked, it’s hard to really listen to what someone else is saying to us, whether it’s constructive or not. You feel under attack, so of course you don’t really care what they are saying & push back. Defensiveness is all about feeling attacked & needing to emotionally protect ourselves from situations where our insecurities might be exposed or our identity, values or worth are being threatened. 

And defensiveness can be seen in a few different ways. Let’s go over those really quick right now: 

• Flat-out denial is the most classic example & you find yourself not accepting what the other person is saying, whether it’s that you’re not responsible for what happened or nothing is wrong at all.
• Projecting your feelings onto others is literally attributing those to someone else because you don’t have the emotional ability to accept & process what you’re dealing with. Someone will call you out for acting a certain way & you will say they are acting that actually, not you.
• We can also be defensive by rationalizing the situation by finding ways to change the truth to better fit our motive & justify any of our behavior.

All of these & a few more not listed here are ways that defensiveness can be seen on a daily basis. But today I want to talk about how we can work on becoming less defensive & a little more vulnerable.

1. Honor Your Feelings - Validate that you may be feeling hurt by what is being said & understand that it’s ok to feel the way you’re feeling. Your feelings are valid & important & not a problem. There is a reason you are feeling this way.
2. Practice Not Reacting Immediately - Your feelings may lead you to want to say something defensive, which could be mean or rude & probably unnecessary. But just because our feelings are valid doesn’t mean we need to act on them. It’s helpful to take a beat & think about whether or not our reaction is in our best interest & will help with the issue.
3. Ask Follow-Up Questions to Understand Where They Are Coming From - Instead of instinctively attacking what they are saying, find out why they are saying it. Dig a little deeper into the reasons behind their words to better understand.
4. Figure Out a Conclusion Together - You might not always be able to do this with the other person, but it’s important to end with a resolution in mind. Figure out what needs to happen next, whether that is owning up & taking responsibility for what happened, apologizing for blaming someone else or admitting that what has happened is a bigger deal than it was previously made. 

Thank you again for listening & I hope this episode was helpful.

Come visit me on my Instagram page @sabrin

Support the show

Watch the Video Version of RPG: https://www.youtube.com/@realpositivegirl/podcasts
Buy the Planner on AMAZON!: https://amzn.to/3WwthT2
Visit me on Instagram or TikTok: @sabrinajoyperozzo
Email Me: [email protected]

Let's chat about how important Mental Health Days are & some warning signs that we should take one as soon as possible.

Show Notes:

The culture we live in values work over well-being so much that it drives people to their unraveling. It’s terrible. And when someone wants to stand up for themselves & say it’s all too much, many employers will just find someone else who is eager to fill the role, until they meet the same ending as the former. It’s sad. But I believe the thing that can help with keeping a balance making the time to take care of yourself & incorporating some mental health days.

I didn’t know that World Mental Health was established in 1992. It’s amazing that it has been a day on the calendar for this long & it’s still not something widely spoken about in a positive way. There is still so much shame attached to admitting you’re struggling & needing help. People think they will appear weak, when really seeking help is a sign of strength because you are actually doing something about your struggle. Unlike many people who let it fester & build up until it becomes a bigger problem than it needed to be.

And this is why I wanted to chat about the importance of taking mental health days. 

I  want to talk about how to recognize that you need a mental health day & how to go about taking one if it’s not something that is recognized where you work. 

Let’s start with a few warning signs that will help you recognize that a mental health day is needed:

1. You are having trouble with your sleep.
2. You are unusually short-tempered.
3. You’re having trouble focusing.
4. You’re getting sick all the time.
5. You don’t feel like you have enough time to recharge.
6. Your normal coping mechanisms are not helping you deal with stress.

Now let’s talk about how to go about taking the mental health day that you very much deserve.

You can schedule and take days off with accrued vacation time, you can call in sick & use sick time or not get paid for that missed day or ask for a day off without pay. 

Sick Time:

If your stress & overwhelm hit it’s maximum without notice, I suggest you take a sick day. Call in sick to your employer & take the day to yourself. If you have accrued sick time, then you can still get paid for being out, which is a nice bonus.

Vacation Time:

If you know you are getting to a point of feeling overwhelmed or know you will need a break coming up soon, schedule it in advance. 

Unpaid Personal Day:

If you don’t have vacation time or sick time, most companies give the option of taking unpaid time off. And I understand if you’re weary of doing this because you need every dollar you can get, but you have to consider what it will give you in return if this is your only option. Can you actually wait until you have accrued time to take a day for yourself? Are you already struggling so much & it would be nice to have some downtime to regroup & recover? Could you consider spending less on a couple of other things to make up for not getting paid that day in exchange for taking care of yourself? You gotta ask yourself if it’s worth it to keep struggling for who knows how long or take a small loss to something that could help you become a little stronger.

Thank you again for listening & I hope this

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Mistakes are normal & natural, but it doesn't feel that way in the moment. This is for sure. Which is why I am providing a shortlist of tips that will help you navigate the way through making a mistake & getting out the other side feeling positive.

Show Notes:
I make mistakes all the time. We make mistakes all the time. It’s just a fact. And we don’t need to be afraid of this fact because it’s something that is expected of us. I want you to know that. We are expected to make mistakes in life because it’s how we learn how to do things & do things better. We spend so much of our time trying to avoid making mistakes, that we don’t get the chance to better ourselves & strengthen ourselves with the little ups & downs that can come from navigating failures & mistakes.

And I know no one is going to be really excited that a mistake has come along in their lives because they finally get the chance to learn from it. That is no one’s mood. But if you can practice being self-aware enough to realize that when failure or mistakes happen, it isn’t the end of the world. It’s an opportunity to become better & see how you can apply lessons in the past to this current situation and/or learn something new that will assist you in the future.

This is why I wanted to chat about what to do when you do end up making a mistake or  have to deal with a failure. These tips should help you bounce back quicker & help you become more resilient along the way.

1. Own your mistake. Take responsibility. Allow yourself to feel your feelings about it.
2. Try to fix what you can & ask for help, if needed.
3. Apologize to anyone affected by the mistake. Don’t hide what happened.
4. Figure out what went wrong & what could be done better next time. (this applies even if you never plan to do it again, for sake of critical thinking skills)
5. Forgive yourself. Practice self-compassion.
6. Move forward. Dwelling won’t fix the past.

Please let me know if these steps have been helpful to you! Or if you have any steps of your own that are super helpful in recovering from a mistake or failure.

Thank you again for listening & I hope this episode was helpful.

Come visit me on my Instagram page @sabrinajoyperozzo to say hi or on Clubhouse @sabrinajperozzo to chat!

Have any questions, comments or feedback?  Send me an email at [email protected]!

Support the show

Watch the Video Version of RPG: https://www.youtube.com/@realpositivegirl/podcasts
Buy the Planner on AMAZON!: https://amzn.to/3WwthT2
Visit me on Instagram or TikTok: @sabrinajoyperozzo
Email Me: [email protected]

Stress can be helpful in many situations that will push you to keep going & create resilience that will benefit you in the future. But if you are taking on too much stress in your life, you can become out of touch with the symptoms of stress & allow it to pile on too high. I'm breaking down emotional, physical & behavioral symptoms to be aware of in this episode.

Show Notes:
Stress is normal in our lives. Different events and situations can lead and cause us stress, but I do believe some stress can be helpful. It can keep us motivated to do what needs to be done, especially when it’s important. Stress can also teach us how resilient we are when we realize we have the ability to navigate through harder times.

But taking on a lot of stress can be too much for our minds and bodies. Allowing your body to be under stress too often will lead to burnout and an inability to rebound as quickly as before because you aren’t allowing yourself to have a break. 

Some people definitely handle stress better than others, but by handling it better, you can convince yourself to take on too much. This is why I thought it would be really helpful to discuss the symptoms of being stressed, in case you are in the habit of allowing yourself to fall prey to its intense ways.

I’m going to review symptoms of stress related to your emotions, your physical body and your behavior. This gives you a well-rounded approach and idea of what to watch out for and warning signs that you might want to find a way to pull it back a bit.

Emotional Symptoms:

1. Mood Instability 
2. Restlessness 
3. Inabilities to Focus

Physical Symptoms:

1. Indigestion/Stomachache
2. Headaches/Migraine 
3. Trouble Sleeping

Behavioral Symptoms:

1. Social Withdrawal
2. Unhealthy Eating
3. Nail Biting

Please let me know if there are other symptoms you suffer from in regards to stress. It would be helpful to know how everyone differs in this and I can share with everyone else, just to have more information. But hopefully the symptoms given here are helpful in evaluating whether you are enduring stress or not.

Thank you again for listening & I hope this episode was helpful.

Come visit me on my Instagram page @sabrinajoyperozzo to say hi or on Clubhouse @sabrinajperozzo to chat!

Visit www.sabrinajoy.com for more content & blog posts!

Have any questions, comments or feedback?  Send me an email at [email protected]!

Support the show

Watch the Video Version of RPG: https://www.youtube.com/@realpositivegirl/podcasts
Buy the Planner on AMAZON!: https://amzn.to/3WwthT2
Visit me on Instagram or TikTok: @sabrinajoyperozzo
Email Me: [email protected]

Let's all take a moment to consider whether indulging in FOMO is helping us become a better person or betting our lives. Let me help you answer this question & give you a few tips to not allow FOMO to rule your life.

Show Notes:
I spend way too much time on social media trying to keep up with everything that is going on because I don’t want to get behind. Now, it’s not a deep internal fear I have about getting behind, but I want to be in the know because it makes me feel relevant. But the problem is that this causes me to get behind on many other things in life that really are more important.

And I recently asked myself, “I feel relevant knowing a bunch of strangers comings & goings & new collabs & nonsense, but who cares that I know this & how is it getting me ahead in life?” The answer: It’s not. It’s not helping me get ahead in life. If anything, it’s contributing to me being behind with important goals & so-called aspirations. 

FOMO, as it’s referred to, is really ruining my life. It’s for sure something that I am allowing to happen, so obviously it’s on me, but it’s still wreaking havoc. And for me, it only relates to social media & things online, not so much in my real life. 

But the fact that I can sit on the couch for over an hour & feel the need to catch up on everyone’s stories & go through posts is not a good use of my time. And I will sometimes use the excuse that I am using this time to get inspiration or ideas for my own content, but that can’t be true all the time.  But I’m not saying you shouldn’t be doing this at all because we all need downtime & a distraction, but you will be able to identify if you’re doing this too much. 

Now let’s consider what indulging in FOMO is costing us. For me, it’s time to work on launching my coaching business. Instead of sitting on the couch for an hour, scrolling forever, I could scroll for 5-10 minutes (set a time), then go do a task that will contribute to my goals (like launching my website) or something that has a deadline & needs to be completed.

Another thing FOMO does to us is feed in the idea that we should feel less than because we weren’t invited to participate, we were left out. This is both in real life & online. You feel like you matter less because you didn’t get the choice of participating, whether you really wanted to or not.

There is also the problem of comparison. And we all know the thief of joy is comparison. Joy makes our lives so much better, so it’s in our best interest to have as much of it as possible. But it’s hard to lean into joy if you are continually comparing yourself to others who are doing things you wish you were doing. This can lead to judging ourselves because of our perceived lack & hurt of not fitting in the way we wanted to.

All of these things I have spoken about & more I didn’t talk about are why I wanted to highlight a couple of ways for us to overcome FOMO & focus more on what’s actually important in our lives & what will benefit us moving forward.

1. Lean Into Gratitude
2. Reassure Yourself Missing Out Doesn’t Affect Your Worth
3. Make Your Own Plans
4. Be Excited for What Other People Are Doing
5. Social Media Breaks Can Help

Thank you again for listening & I hope this episode was helpful.

Come visit me on my Instagram page @sabrinajoyperozzo to say hi or on C

Support the show

Watch the Video Version of RPG: https://www.youtube.com/@realpositivegirl/podcasts
Buy the Planner on AMAZON!: https://amzn.to/3WwthT2
Visit me on Instagram or TikTok: @sabrinajoyperozzo
Email Me: [email protected]

How often are you considering whether struggles are getting easier or more manageable? Probably not enough. But if we made time to evaluate this on the regular, we would have more understanding on what is great, what needs work & fostering hope that our lives can change for the better.

Show Notes:
We focus a ton on what we are struggling through & how difficult certain seasons of life are, which is super helpful to understanding what you’re going through & where you can make changes to hopefully make things better. But I think we should also spotlight the moments we can tell we are healing & things are getting better.

And a lot of times we won’t even notice small changes in a positive direction or healing points because we put too much focus on what’s hard and we haven’t taken needed moments to reflect on what’s going on under the surface of it all.

Today I want to talk about some signs that will help us see that healing is present & what we have implemented into our lives is making a difference.

1. Instead of projecting onto others, we take responsibility & are accountable to our actions.
2. Less reacting is happening & more responding.
3. We are more aware of what’s going on in our minds & what we are saying to ourselves.
4. We care a little less about what others think about us.
5. Putting yourself first is becoming easier.

Let me know if you have any other signs of healing that have come up for you when evaluating healing. I’d love to know what you’ve been noticing.

Thank you again for listening & I hope this episode was helpful.

Come visit me on my Instagram page @sabrinajoyperozzo to say hi or on Clubhouse @sabrinajperozzo to chat!

Visit www.sabrinajoy.com for more content & blog posts!

Have any questions, comments or feedback?  Send me an email at [email protected]!

Support the show

Watch the Video Version of RPG: https://www.youtube.com/@realpositivegirl/podcasts
Buy the Planner on AMAZON!: https://amzn.to/3WwthT2
Visit me on Instagram or TikTok: @sabrinajoyperozzo
Email Me: [email protected]

No one can be positive all the time, but pushing yourself to be less negative & more in a positive direction while going through tough times makes a big difference & fosters resilience. Let me give you 5 quick questions to ask yourself next time you are struggling to lean more towards positivity than negativity.

Show Notes:
Everyone has to go through some negativity in their life. It’s just how life works. But when negativity comes knocking at your door, you always have a choice to either lean into it or lean away. And we all know it’s so much easier to lean into it, but it’s not the ideal choice.

Adversity, which can be linked with having to deal with negativity, makes us stronger. Seahawks QB Russell Wilson even said recently that he likes adversity. Now, if you know anything about current football teams, you’re probably thinking he believes that because his team isn’t doing the best right now & has had a hard few years lately. But I believe he believes this whether he is winning or losing. And we should, too. 

Adversity is a strong tool in life that will test you & push you to your limits & force you to learn lessons you had no intention of going out of your way to learn on your own. And in my experience, it comes out of nowhere, too. Just BAM, in your face. Catching you off guard. Even still, it’s so helpful. But we usually only have this thought in hindsight.

But as I mentioned before, it’s much easier to lean into negativity than positivity because it doesn’t take as much effort. Even more so when someone else brings their negativity to you & is seeking company with their misery. Getting someone else to chime in on their unfortunate experience really doubles down on those negative feelings, making it even harder to turn the other way. 

But don’t forget, negativity is a dark hole of despair. The deeper you go, the harder it is to pull yourself out. Not impossible, but much harder. And this is why it’s not the ideal choice. 

Ideally, you want to find a way to be as positive as you can manage in the moment & move forward. Don’t dwell. Don’t obsess. Don’t blame & complain.

Of course, this can be really hard to accomplish in the moment, which is why I wanted to talk about how to stay positive when everything around you feels negative. Ask yourself the following questions next time you feel the urge to lean into the negative. It will help to shift your perspective in a more positive direction.

1. Is this worth getting upset over?
2. What can you learn from this experience?
3. Can you control anything in this situation?
4. Will reacting this way make me a better person?
5. What can I do to make myself feel better right now?

Please let me know if these questions would be helpful to you. I know it will take some self-awareness & patience with yourself to go through this process the first few times, but it’s better than reacting in a way that causes regret. 

Thank you again for listening & I hope this episode was helpful.

Come visit me on my Instagram page @sabrinajoyperozzo to say hi or on Clubhouse @sabrinajperozzo to chat!

Visit www.sabrinajoy.com for more content & blog posts!

Have any questions, comments or feedback?  Send me an email at [email protected]!

Support the show

Watch the Video Version of RPG: https://www.youtube.com/@realpositivegirl/podcasts
Buy the Planner on AMAZON!: https://amzn.to/3WwthT2
Visit me on Instagram or TikTok: @sabrinajoyperozzo
Email Me: [email protected]