Reclaiming Catholic Intimacy

We are talking today about rules--the rules of our faith and how the rules around our faith are not arbitrary or oppressive!

The church should not be viewed as oppressive, especially in regards to our sexuality. There's a really good reason it's not just free for all, and we're going to get into that in this episode.

The Screwtape Letters by CS Lewis

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Ready to stop avoiding sex and actually enjoy it? Join the waitlist for Want it and Enjoy it now and join the next round!

Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books!

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Guess what! You and your spouse are different people who have different wants and needs.

Your spouse is not going to want the exact same things you want and you're not going to want the exact things your spouse wants. In fact, you spouse might not care one bit about something you want, and THAT'S OK. Here's why, it's your job as spouse to communicate your wants and needs to your spouse. Your spouse isn't going to care unless you share how important it is to you.

Sometimes that means you have to ask more than once. Sometimes it means you have to ask more than 10 times. Sometimes it means you have to charitably ask every single day for multiple years until it becomes clear how important it is.

This applies both in and out of the bedroom too! Listen in for more on this topic and examples of how we've seen this play out in our marriages.

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Ready to stop avoiding sex and actually enjoy it? Join the waitlist for Want it and Enjoy it now and join the next round!

Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books!

Reach out at instagram.com/ellenholloway_/ or email us at [email protected]

It might not sound as sexy as you think. The one thing you can do to improve your sex life is to work on your marriage as a whole!

Looking for Abundant the full marriage course we mentioned on the podcast? Click right here! If you sign up through this link, you'll get a free one hour coaching session with Ellen alongside the course!

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Ready to stop avoiding sex and actually enjoy it? Join the waitlist for Want it and Enjoy it now and join the next round!

Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books!

Reach out at instagram.com/ellenholloway_/ or email us at [email protected]

Here's the deal, you're not going to get good at sex by yourself. It takes two to tango! Sex is a team effort, and it takes practice to get good!

The best sex happens when each spouse is focused more on the other than on themselves. If you're looking to get to have all-star sex, you need to train like an athlete. That means practice, communicate, and practice more!

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Ready to stop avoiding sex and actually enjoy it? Join the waitlist for Want it and Enjoy it now and join the next round!

Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books!

Reach out at instagram.com/ellenholloway_/ or email us at [email protected]

Did you know there are two main types of desire? Spontaneous and Responsive.

If you feel like your desire is always lacking or you "never" feel like having sex, you might have responsive desire. Guess what: You're not broken at all. In fact, you're completely normal.

When it comes to desire, sometimes just the knowledge of what kind of desire you have can help so much!

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Ready to stop avoiding sex and actually enjoy it? Join the waitlist for Want it and Enjoy it now and join the next round!

Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books!

Reach out at instagram.com/ellenholloway_/ or email us at [email protected]

Sex is a window to something greater. It is an icon, or image, of God's love for us. Even within good, faithful Catholic marriages, sex can be a point of contention because we aren't seeing God through sex and our sexual relationship. We're looking at sex not through sex. When you switch your mindset and start to look through sex toward God, it becomes easier to love your spouse. (not EASY, it becomes EASIER!)

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Ready to stop avoiding sex and actually enjoy it? Join the waitlist for Want it and Enjoy it now and join the next round!

Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books!

Reach out at instagram.com/ellenholloway_/ or email us at [email protected]

Want to get started with NFP but don't know where to go? Heard of NFP but you don't really know what it is? Have some questions about Natural Family Planning that you haven't been able to get a clear answer on? Look no further than this episode.

Kathleen and Ellen answer the basic question of "What the heck is NFP?" We go over the cycle, methods of fertility awareness, the difference between birth control and using NFP, and a bunch of frequently asked questions about NFP like "why does is cost money?" and "do I need to have an instructor?"

The course or guide mentioned in this episode is no longer sold, but the help you’re looking for is still available. If you want support improving your sex life while staying faithful to Catholic teaching, I invite you to explore Want It and Enjoy It, my current program for Catholic wives.

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Ready to stop avoiding sex and actually enjoy it? Join the waitlist for Want it and Enjoy it now and join the next round!

Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books!

Reach out at instagram.com/ellenholloway_/ or email us at [email protected]

Got questions about your first time? We have answers!

Kathleen and Ellen share a little bit about their own first times to make you feel like you're not alone if your first time is.....not so great.

We touch on questions like "what lube should we use?" "How do we figure out positions?" "What if we're tired on the wedding night?" "My friend told me about bleeding, what's the deal with that?"

Our Lube recommendations: Almond oil or Jojoba Oil

Sex Blanket

Mentionables (get 10% off with code Ellen10)

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Ready to stop avoiding sex and actually enjoy it? Join the waitlist for Want it and Enjoy it now and join the next round!

Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books!

Reach out at instagram.com/ellenholloway_/ or email us at [email protected]

Sister M. Karolyn Nunes is joining us this week to talk about sexual wounds and healing. As the vocation director of her community, Sr. Karolyn helps to direct many women discerning religious life to start their own healing journeys when they have sexual wounds. One of the things lacking in marriage prep is ensuring that the healing process has begun for sexual issues, baggage, addictions, etc. Sr. Karolyn is chatting with us about how we can integrate this healing into our own lives whether we are preparing for marriage or we've been married for 25 years.

Interested in the book Sr. Karolyn mentioned? Into Your Hands Father by Wilfred Stinissen

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Ready to stop avoiding sex and actually enjoy it? Join the waitlist for Want it and Enjoy it now and join the next round!

Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books!

Reach out at instagram.com/ellenholloway_/ or email us at [email protected]

Let's talk about selfishness and NFP!

This episode is stemming from a lot of talk about "contraceptive mentality." We're not really talking about contraceptive mentality in this episode, we're talking about the underlying question behind the conversations about contraceptive mentality:

Can NFP be used selfishly? what about if you change the semantics and ask this question: can fertility awareness be used selfishly? The answer is actually different and we dive into what those answers are and why they're different.

Here's a hint at the answers: NFP is not self correcting system where if your reason to avoid pregnancy is not "good enough" or "serious enough" you and your spouse won't be able to abstain for the fertile window. That's just not true for many couples.

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Ready to stop avoiding sex and actually enjoy it? Join the waitlist for Want it and Enjoy it now and join the next round!

Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books!

Reach out at instagram.com/ellenholloway_/ or email us at [email protected]