Shira talks about transforming Shame to Self-Confidence, self-worth and self-respect by understanding self-sabotage.
There are many reasons we self-sabotage. Unconscious inner drives make us go round in circles, related to past traumas, undigested fears and internalised shame. Shame is a powerful emotion of social acceptance. At the extreme it means exclusion from tribe, family, society. Internalised and unconscious, it drives our every action, thought and word.
Negative thoughts, beliefs, patterns and reactions reveal a healthy underlying need for self-protection from shaming and blaming. These surface to be explored, expressed and embodied so we digest internalized past traumas through clarity. Clarity and identifying patterns is connected to our Fire’s ability to act, do, give light, energise discern and transform.
Research correlates shame to autoimmune dis-ease, cancer and other inflammatory conditions. It’s an internalised biological expression of the belief that we are not welcome, worthy or wanted. It’s one of the most excruciating emotions a social creature can endure, and therefore we internalise it.
Shame is physically express by turning away, eye rolling and displaying disgust or disdain.
FIRE TRANSFORMS ONE STATE TO THE NEXT
Emotionally, mentally and physiologically our digestive fire consumes, assimilates, integrates and eliminates. Absorbing what’s good for us and excreting what’s harmful. We discern, clarify and get to the point by moving between two extremes, by journaling doing, sharing and expressing. And fire initiates that shift and discerns what’s needed and what’s not, to find a middle ground.
The story of SATI becomes PARVATI through leaving behind the safety of the known. She can no longer stomach the shame of her identity. Disgust arises as self-protection, and self-reflection helps identify what causes us to feel shame, then transforms it into anger. Giving us the plenty of energy and power to move on and self-worth, we honour our core values. Using focus, determination and self-respect Parvati creates change and finds her own way to self-confidence. Parvati leads to self-confidence, by focusing on what we want and through that clarity, Brilliance.
In the middle ground we feel confident, enthusiastic, empowered, passionate and worthy. To get to those feelings we need fire to bring light to the unconscious drives, digest the undigested and get clear on what we’re angry and ashamed of, so we can eliminate it from our system. Understanding if your fire is excessive or deficient helps you know if you need more or are over doing it.
Deficient fire we're not good enough ANGER, BLAME, RESENTMENT, SHAME, SELF SABOTAGE, WORTHLESSNESS. Excessive fire we're better than others, JUDGEMENTAL, CRITICAL, ARROGANT, CONCEIT.
By allowing ourselves to feel shame, resentment can arise and then anger gives us plenty of energy and power to move onto self-worth, to honour our core values. Using focus, determination and self-reflection we find our own way and shift towards self-confidence, by focusing on what we really want that clarity leads to brilliance.
