Red Penning Romance

Join Mary, Andrew and Kimi as they weather “The Sea Queen” by Jovee Winters.

This week’s tale is an epic tale of love and loss, where the drama of the lives of the ancient Gods are put on full display for mere mortals to witness. Witness now, an impossible love between Calypso and Hades, two beings,infallible in their presence but irrational in their love - AH WHO AM I KIDDING? It’s a shitty book about Greek gods and they say things like “HAWT” and wear pirate costumes and there’s virgin murder trails and whatever.

Join Mary and Jeremy as they wrangle “Stranded with the Seal” by Amy Gamet. When a NAVY SEAL hits a celebrity of questionable recognition with his car, they get stranded in a snowy mountain cabin and try to unravel a mystery filled with amnesia, seedy human traffickers and high explosives.

It sounds interesting, but it also has REALLY poorly implemented sex, crazy weird underage rape and a Military unit called “HERO FORCE”. Which is one notch below “Paw Patrol.”

Join Mary and Jayme this week as they take on “Virgin Bride: A Single Dad Romance” by B.B. Hamel. Gonna give it to you guys straight, this book’s got it all. Virgin Babysitters, hunky, single Billionaire Dad’s with big dicks, anal beads and one-year-olds…wait no, uh…that came out wro-

This week Jeremy, Mary and Dan read "Bad Decisions" by Alexx Andria.

"Bad Decisions" is a "dark romance" story which - wait- Alexx Andria?

Alexx-Andria?

ALEXANDIRA?

You've got to be fuc-

Mary, Matt and Jeremy are taking on "What Women Want in a Man: How to Become the Alpha Male Women Respect, Desire, and Want to Submit To" by Bruce Bryans.

As you can probably guess by the EXTREMELY catchy title, this is a secret incel handbook masquerading as a self help book and we do our part as American Heroes to expose this book for what it is.

We're back! Kicking off Season 2 we have Mary and Dan taking on "Loving My Indian Captor" by Emma Morgan.

When you have a romance novel about a nurse in the late 1800's being taken hostage by Native Americans, there's only two ways you can go: Pretty racist or VERY racist.

This book only goes "Pretty Racist" but I'm told that still isn't great.

Join Mary, Jeremy and Matt this week as we do something a little different.

We’re taking a break from the wolf shifters, kidnappers and cartoon penises to read some awful and damaging “Self Help” books!

This week we’re reading “Make Him Beg To Be Your Boyfriend In 6 Simple Steps” by Michael Fiore. In this “self help” book, Michael Fiore lays out step-by-step how to emotionally abuse that special guy into loving you out of desperation!

Join Mary and Jeremy this week as they read “Justice Calling” by Annie Bellet.

What do you get when you throw Dungeons and Dragons, The Big Bang Theory and a PG-13 Rom-Com into a blender? A supremely stupid and sexless romance novel that reads like an 8th grade fan-fic of nothing in particular.

Join Mary, Scott and Andrew this week as they read “Stolen” by Ella Goode. A young, hot socialite watches as her two brothers (who definitely aren’t walking advertisements for her other books) fall in love and decides to try everything in her power to avoid the same. Then she’s kidnapped on a helicopter and given that Magic Penis© that makes it all better.

Join Mary, Jeremy and Erik this week as they tackle “Lesbian Football” by Arabella Anderson. The first female football player ever misses a kick (Not even like, for the playoffs or anything just a regular kick) and suddenly finds herself on the chopping block. Luckily, she has the love of the star cheerleader to rely on. Actually, it’s he publicist she’s in love with. Or something.

Honestly, this one is real short, but REAL confusing.