Reel Garbage

From the imagination of the guy that brought us Scientology comes a film, so awful, I actually fell asleep.  I don't fall asleep during movies ever.  If you thought that John Travolta was terrible in Trading Paint you haven't seen him in Battlefield Earth.  This movie makes Home Alone 3 look like Home Alone. 

THIS MOVIE IS STILL AWESOME!!! Home Alone holds up 29 years later.  Nuff said. 

Macauley Culkin? Nope.  The wet bandits? Nope.  Catherine O'Hara? Negative.  This movie should have never been made.  I don't know who thought this up but they should be beaten with a remote control car and buried in a snow bank somewhere.  Home Alone 3 seems like a coke fueled idea that got forced on some unsuspecting movie executive.  Guh!

Tim Allen, what happened to you man? Christmas with the Kranks is a movie about a spoiled 23 year old girl who cost her parents $9000 at Christmas.  Awful, just awful. 

It's Christmas and that means one thing.  Horrible Christmas movies for us and you.  We started off a four episode Christmas bundle with a horrific piece of Xmas garbage about kittens taking over for Santa which, I know, already makes zero sense.  Santa Claws will have you wanting to claw your eyes out just to make it stop. 

No it's not a typo, that's how they spelled this piece of cinematic refuse.  It really wasn't very sinister, it was laughable, I was literally laughing out loud at points in this "movie".  We had a good time.  I smoked the right amount of weed this time and didn't sound and feel like a zombie.  If I didn't already have a strong dislike for children my resolve is even stronger after this....is resolve the right word there?

I don't know if I can use emojis on my laptop but if I could I would tell you that this movie was a huge piece of the shit emoji for sure.  It made so much money though which blows me away.  **sighing emoji face** Ah well, that's why we do this. 

If you love convoluted movies about tai chi then you probably enjoyed this one.  We, however, most certainly did not.  I've been avoiding this movie like the plague for years and now i realize why.  This movie makes Titanic 2, look like Titanic. 

Futuristic Civilization? Check.  Skimpy science crop tops? Check.  A cybernetic machete wielding psychopath? Check.  Horrible, horrible horror movie? You better believe that's a check.  

I hadn't smoked weed in a month so I decided to get high for this one.  It didn't matter that we didn't watch the first Boogeyman because Boogeyman 2 was a stand alone piece of trash.