The practice of forgiveness is done in meditation through the repetition of phrases of forgiveness. When we ask for forgiveness, we say one of the following:

“I forgive you.”

“I forgive you for all the ways that you have caused me harm.”

“I now offer you forgiveness, whether the hurt came through your actions, thoughts, or words.”

“I know you are responsible for your actions, and I offer you forgiveness.”

We can’t just decide to forgive and magically

let go of all the past pains and resentments.

But it has to begin somewhere, and it begins

with the understanding that all harm caused

comes out of suffering and ignorance.

Forgiveness is a process that continues throughout our lives. It begins when we begin to understand how to forgive. The practice of forgiveness has three aspects or categories.

1. Asking for forgiveness from those whom we have harmed (through both meditation and amends)

2. Offering forgiveness to those who have harmed us (meditation)

3. Forgiving ourselves for all the ways we have harmed ourselves and others (meditation and living amends)

All beings are responsible for their own actions. Suffering or happiness is created through one’s relationship to experience, not by experience itself. The freedom and happiness of others is dependent on their actions, not on my wishes for them.

THE HEART PRACTICES

Equanimity Meditation instruction from Refuge Recovery, Pg. 271.

We have usually responded with resentment, anger, and hatred toward the cause of our pain. The more we hate, the more we create layers of suffering and confusion on top of our pain. All this pain and suffering gives addicts more and more reasons to crave the substances or behaviors that temporarily distract them from or alleviate this pain. As we have already learned, pain is unavoidable, but suffering can be eased by meeting our pain with compassion rather than hatred.

This brings us to the necessity of forgiveness. We can learn to meet the pain of our lives with care and compassion, but we first have to embark on the process of forgiving ourselves and others for all the harms we have experienced and caused.

Forgiveness is a process that continues throughout our lives. It begins when we begin to understand how to forgive. The practice of forgiveness has three aspects or categories.

1. Asking for forgiveness from those whom we have harmed (through both meditation and amends)

2. Offering forgiveness to those who have harmed us (meditation)

3. Forgiving ourselves for all the ways we have harmed ourselves and others (meditation and living amends)

‘May I learn to appreciate the happiness and joy I experience. May the joy I experience continue and grow. May I be filled with gratitude.⁠’

The heart practice meditation instruction from Refuge Recovery, Pg. 266, “Appreciative Joy“.

May I be happy.⁠ May I be at ease.⁠ May I be free from suffering.⁠ ⁠

THE HEART PRACTICES Loving-kindness heart practice meditation instruction from Refuge Recovery, Pg. 261. ⁠

“May I awaken the compassionate heart, for the benefit of all living beings.”

THE HEART PRACTICES Tonglen meditation instruction from Refuge Recovery, Pg. 258.

May I learn to care about suffering and confusion.

May I respond with mercy and empathy to pain.

May I be filled with compassion.

Compassion meditation is the first heart practice meditation instruction from Refuge Recovery, Pg. 253. ⁠

All the arises, passes. There is nothing worth clinging to. Let it all come. Let it all go. We can welcome all the emotions, sensations, and truth of our experience in mindful awareness.

Know each experience as it is. Observe the tendency to avoid, suppress, ignore, or resist the unpleasant thoughts, and recognize that as aversion.⁠

⁠

Observe the tendency to cling, crave, and feed the thoughts that are pleasant or that you feel will lead to more safety or happiness, and know that experience as attachment.⁠

Watch the thoughts. Know the thoughts. But don’t get involved.⁠

Mindfulness of the Mind: Content. A guided meditation instruction from Refuge Recovery, Pg 245.