Regular Features

Strap in readers, as we carousel into the new year with a mildly irresponsible and Disaronno-fuelled special episode of Regular Features. Can we perform our features before Old Lazy Booze kisses us goodnight? Let's find out.

FEATURES: Steve is interrupted by a very fussy guest. Gav tries to pawn a dirty goblin's ring. And Log has been to the opticians to get his eyes scooped out.

Let's go!

Credits: "Canon in D Major" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

International mega-psychic and telepathic thorn in Nintendo's side, Uri Geller's back, and this time he's got an entire museum of curios for you to explore. Steve's also got something about frozen food, after he saw a bag of omelette in Iceland. Gav got bumped, HARD.

See you next year, baby!

Nadolig Llawen, Nollaig Shona Daoibh, Happy Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanza to all of our beloved multi-faith and faithless reads.

In this rare FOUR BOY EPISODE, Joe is visited by a very shy old acquaintance with a guitar. Steve learns the horrible truth about what's up with all the bees. And Log successfully hosts an entire Punch and Judy show while also having an on-air mental breakdown.

We'll be back next week for the last episode of 2020. Love ya!

In this ALMOST LIVE episode, Log invites you to explore the soundscape of a reader's body, Steve's been on the hunt for his local missing dogs, and Gavin libels Colonel Sanders, then goes after Aunt Bessie for good measure.

Giddy up, ladies. Log is open for business, with an entire bazaar's worth of Regular Features purchasables just for the readers. Joe investigates the origin of that big old pepperoni pizza in the music video for Eamon's 2004 hit, Eff It (I Don't Want You Back). Steve stares on, a hunger in his eyes and a sorrow in his heart.

Gav takes matters into his own hands to catch a local parcel thief. Steve invites you into the vice-addled underworld of investment banking. And Log reports live from a tide of puppies.

NOTES: Steve incorrectly states that Lena Dunham wrote Industry. While Dunham directed the first episode, the show is in fact created by Mickey Down and Konrad Kay. How embarrassing for Steve.

Joe sets out to change a few laws with some harmless presidential bullying. Log writes his own episode of Star Trek in an attempt to derive something of worth from the wasted hours spent hate-watching the newest one. And Steve, god bless him, tries his best to simply stay out of their way. Let's go!

Joe screams and howls until flying kicks are reinstated in society. Steve brings you a hands-on preview of the new PlayStation. And Log embarks on an journey right up Joe's, well, umm, how else can we put this, penois.

Well, let's not waste any more time. The quicker we start the quicker we're done and we can all get back into bed.

This episode entitles you to one free yacht, redeemable at your nearest marina. Log will tell you everything you need to know to get the most out of your new boat. Then Joe will unravel his own misapprehensions about what a bird is descended from. Then we'll break for lunch, have a think about what we've all done, and come back for more juice.

Love you!

Do you ever get that thing where you're just about to fall asleep and you suddenly feel yourself falling and you jerk yourself awake again? That's us, giving you a little goodnight kiss. Sorry, we just can't help ourselves!

In this episode, Log dreams up an entire Steve feature. Steve is sick and tired of Specsavers sending him letters about his untested eyeballs. And Gav is a reassuring presence keeping everything from falling to pieces.