“If he wanted to, he would,” is a phrase often seen on social media, suggesting that if a man truly loves you, he will go out of his way to show it.

It is commonly used to encourage women not to make excuses for men who do the bare minimum when pursuing them.

Thabo Shole Mashao (in for Clement Manyathela) interrogates this phrase with life and relationship coach Cathy Mphirima.

Mphirima feels that the phrase is not entirely accurate, as both partners must communicate what they want and need. This includes letting the other person know if you are no longer interested.

She argues that when a person is pursuing someone, they will work harder and make sacrifices to prove their interest, but once in a relationship, they may not feel the need to do that anymore.

 

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