Relationship Theory

Are you wondering what the most crucial core values are in establishing a healthy relationship or marriage? When it comes down to it, it's about your ability to communicate your most important values with each other and establishing a way to honor them every day. On this episode of Relationship Theory, Lisa and Tom Bilyeu sit down to discuss such matters and more as they explore what the most important values you need to be aware of with your partner and how to communicate them in an open and honest way. They discuss why you have to be vulnerable and open up with your partner, why you have to hold onto your passions, why recognizing beauty and attractiveness should be normalized, what unconditional love really means, why you need to embrace commitment, how to overcome feelings of jealousy, and much more.

SHOW NOTES:

Core Values | Tom shares the important values you need to communicate. [0:30]

Insecurity | Tom and Lisa discuss why you have to be vulnerable in a relationship. [3:52]

Passion | Tom shares the importance of holding onto your passions. [4:30]

Powerful | Lisa discusses seeing attractive people and still choosing your partner. [4:55]

Unconditional | Tom and Lisa discuss the true important things that matter. [6:46]

Embrace It | Lisa and Tom share why you have to get committed. [7:40]

Jealousy | Lisa shares why you should never fear jealousy in your relationship. [10:45]

Secure | Tom shares why you have to make your partner feel safe and secure. [12:14]

QUOTES:

"…at the end of the day, there's got to be things that you guys share, that you're really clicking on, that you're both passionate about, that you come alive when you talk about, that you're going to be able to enjoy together…" [4:40]

"Being in a relationship should make you feel better about yourself. Period." [9:15]

FOLLOW TOM:

Instagram: http://bit.ly/2s9lU90

YouTube: http://bit.ly/2KWanAC

Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2xEloFL

FOLLOW LISA:

Instagram: https://bit.ly/2TIsoKh

YouTube: https://bit.ly/2IAbTcH

Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2IEajGW0

Are you dealing with guilt, shame or self-blame from deciding to not have kids? Has your family, friends, and loved ones passed judgement on you for your decision? On this episode of Relationship Theory, Lisa and Tom Bilyeu sit down to discuss such matters and more as they explore how to deal with shame, guilt, and blame placed on you for making the decision to not have kids. They discuss how to deal with self-same and judgement, why they themselves decided to not have kids, and why being selfish when it comes to personal decisions is okay.

SHOW NOTES:

Feeling Judged | Lisa and Tom discuss their feelings of self-shame and judgement. [0:24]

Decisions | Lisa and Tom share why they decided to not have children. [2:38]

Be Selfish | Tom and Lisa discuss why it's okay to be selfish on personal decisions. [5:10]

QUOTES:

"You're my number one, I'm your number one right now. And so, if I had children, you would become my number two." [2:45]

"You need to be confident in owning your decision and if people are going to judge you, then maybe they're not the right people to have in your life." [5:03]

FOLLOW TOM:

Instagram: http://bit.ly/2s9lU90

YouTube: http://bit.ly/2KWanAC

Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2xEloFL

FOLLOW LISA:

Instagram: https://bit.ly/2TIsoKh

YouTube: https://bit.ly/2IAbTcH

Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2IEajGW0

Are you putting in the effort to improve yourself, grow, change for the better, and move further in life but your partner is remaining stagnant while criticizing your progress? On this episode of Relationship Theory, Lisa and Tom Bilyeu sit down to discuss such matters and more as they explore how to handle times when your partner isn't supporting your journey of adopting a growth-mindset and self-development. They discuss how to approach your partner when they're simply not interested in growing, why a build up of relationship dust may be at play, why feelings need to be honored, how to handle criticism and heckling from your partner, and why there's power in having empathy for your partner as you grow right in front of them.

SHOW NOTES:

Disconnect | Lisa and Tom discuss when your partner isn't interested in self-development. [0:36]

Dust | Tom and Lisa discuss what to do if your partner doesn't have a growth mindset. [1:47]

How You Feel | Tom and Lisa the most powerful thing in your relationship. [4:31]

Predictable | Tom and Lisa discuss how your partner's reaction should be predictable. [6:19]

Good for Them | Lisa and Tom discuss how a growth mindset would benefit everyone. [8:10]

Ownership | Tom and Lisa discuss why you just have to accept your partner's responses. [8:49]

Empathize | Lisa and Tom share why you need to have empathy for your partner. [10:22]

QUOTES:

"Letting go of stuff, really letting it go, it's like the relationship superpower." [2:44]

"…and if you really have a growth mindset, you know that the other person probably has a fixed mindset. If you have a growth mindset, you're not judging them for that and if they have a fixed mindset, you know that they feel judged." [6:50]

FOLLOW TOM:

Instagram: http://bit.ly/2s9lU90

YouTube: http://bit.ly/2KWanAC

Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2xEloFL

FOLLOW LISA:

Instagram: https://bit.ly/2TIsoKh

YouTube: https://bit.ly/2IAbTcH

Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2IEajGW0

Does your significant other spend their free time playing video games? Does their 'hobby' feel like it's eating away at your relationship? On this episode of Relationship Theory, Lisa and Tom Bilyeu sit down to discuss such matters and more as they explore what you should do if your partner's hobby of video games is taking over their free time and jeopardizing your relationship. They discuss why you should absolutely try to get involved and make it a joint activity, how to schedule time for each other, and what the root cause of their obsession may be.

SHOW NOTES:

Get Involved | Lisa and Tom discuss how to be involved in your partner's hobbies. [0:15]

Schedule | Lisa and Tom discuss the importance of arranging a schedule. [2:33]

Gaming | Tom and Lisa discuss why your partner is so interested in video games. [3:45]

QUOTES:

"Try it with him. Even if you hate it, even if that makes your skin crawl, give it a shot. The reason is, it will make him feel good and it will make him feel special." [1:57]

FOLLOW TOM:

Instagram: http://bit.ly/2s9lU90

YouTube: http://bit.ly/2KWanAC

Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2xEloFL

FOLLOW LISA:

Instagram: https://bit.ly/2TIsoKh

YouTube: https://bit.ly/2IAbTcH

Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2IEajGW0

Are you struggling to communicate in a clear and healthy way with your partner? Does your relationship struggle due to arguing, fighting, or a pattern of bad behavior? On this episode of Relationship Theory, Lisa and Tom Bilyeu sit down to discuss such matters and more as they explore ways to identify patterns of negative behavior in your relationship and how to fix them for good so that you can communicate together in a healthy way. They discuss how you should be communicating with your partner, dangerous patterns to look out for in your relationship, why you need to just be clear about your feelings, how to prevent problems from happening again, and why putting pressure on your partner isn't doing the relationship any good.

SHOW NOTES:

Communicate | Lisa and Tom reveal how to better communicate with your partner. [0:17]

Patterns | Lisa and Tom reveal the power of predicting patterns in your relationship. [5:54]

Feelings | Tom and Lisa discuss why you need to be very clear about your feelings. [6:58]

Prevent | Lisa and Tom reveal how to prevent repeating problems in the future. [8:33]

Pressure | Lisa and Tom discuss why you should never dismiss your partner's feelings. [10:10]

QUOTES:

"Don't ever say, like, the other person shouldn't be feeling something, right? Cause you feel it and it's real and there's nothing anyone could ever tell you that's going to make that seem less valid." [7:40]

"They may kind of resolve it in the moment but then they don't think about, "How do I prevent this in the future?" Because having the same argument or the same problem over and over again is just, like, a waste of energy." [8:45]

FOLLOW TOM:

Instagram: http://bit.ly/2s9lU90

YouTube: http://bit.ly/2KWanAC

Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2xEloFL

FOLLOW LISA:

Instagram: https://bit.ly/2TIsoKh

YouTube: https://bit.ly/2IAbTcH

Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2IEajGW0

Should you prioritize your goals and dreams ahead of finding love? What happens when your entrepreneurial drive steps in the way of a developing relationship? On this episode of Relationship Theory, Lisa and Tom Bilyeu sit down to discuss such matters and more as they explore whether you should sacrifice your goals, drive, and ambition for love or a relationship. They discuss why you shouldn't sacrifice who you are to meet the needs or demands of a potential partner, why setting ground rules from the beginning is crucial, and why being aggressively yourself is a winning strategy.

SHOW NOTES:

Goals | Lisa and Tom discuss how business and love can work together. [0:15]

Ground Rules | Lisa and Tom share why you need to clearly establish your priorities. [2:40]

Be Yourself | Tom and Lisa share why you need to be aggressively yourself from the start. [5:25]

QUOTES:

"I would set the ground rules from the beginning so that they know who I am and what I'm looking for in life, because ultimately if I'm going to then spend time with this person, are they going to accept me for me?" [4:07]

"Being aggressively yourself is really important." [5:25]

FOLLOW TOM:

Instagram: http://bit.ly/2s9lU90

YouTube: http://bit.ly/2KWanAC

Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2xEloFL

FOLLOW LISA:

Instagram: https://bit.ly/2TIsoKh

YouTube: https://bit.ly/2IAbTcH

Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2IEajGW0

Scheduling time for your in-laws can be a difficult, sticky, and sometimes uncomfortable situation depending on your relationship with them. Should this sometimes confusingresponsibility of arranging family time with in-laws fall on your shoulders or your partner's? On this episode of Relationship Theory, Lisa and Tom Bilyeu sit down to discuss such matters and more as they explore who is responsible for reaching out to each other's in-laws to arrange quality time together. They discuss their own individual perspectives of their in-laws, who is responsible for setting up family time with in-laws, why communication is key, gender roles and belief systems, and why you should be mindful of your needs as well as your family's.

SHOW NOTES:

Responsibilities | Lisa and Tom discuss who should reach out to in-laws to arrange time to spend together. [0:16]

Perspectives | Lisa shares her perspective of when running the household and reaching out to in-laws. [3:20]

Reaching Out | Tom and Lisa discuss how they handle reaching out to their own in-laws. [4:41]

Apart | Tom shares how he would feel when having time apart from Lisa. [8:26]

Communicate | Tom discusses why people on both sides need to come together to communicate better. [9:02]

Roles | Lisa and Tom discuss addressing your in-laws' belief systems of gender roles. [9:50]

Needs | Lisa shares how she approached her mother in-law's needs as well as her own. [11:37]

QUOTES:

"If somebody told me that they spend as little time talking to their significant other as I spend talking to my family, I'd be like, "Wow, that's so dangerous."" [7:42]

"If they ended up getting upset, it's like I would apologize for making them feel like that but I wouldn't necessarily change my actions if I really believed in what I was doing." [13:01]

FOLLOW TOM:

Instagram: http://bit.ly/2s9lU90

YouTube: http://bit.ly/2KWanAC

Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2xEloFL

FOLLOW LISA:

Instagram: https://bit.ly/2TIsoKh

YouTube: https://bit.ly/2IAbTcH

Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2IEajGW0

Does your partner make you feel sexy? Do they appreciate you for the work you put in to look good for them? Is your partner not displaying enough affection, attraction, or giving enough compliments? On this episode of Relationship Theory, Lisa and Tom Bilyeu sit down to discuss such matters and more as they explore what to do if your partner isn't complimenting you or displaying signs of affection in a way that would make you feel sexy and attractive. They discuss the importance of raw sexual attraction with your partner, why giving compliments is crucial, how your self-esteem shouldn't fully rely on your partner's opinions, why communication might be the root cause of your problems, why externalizing thoughts is a trained skill and requires work, and why both partners need to have a deep understanding of each other's love language.

SHOW NOTES:

Feeling Attractive | Lisa and Tom discuss what to do if your partner doesn't compliment. [0:30]

Compliments | Tom and Lisa discuss the need for signs of affection in a relationship. [2:10]

Self-Esteem | Lisa and Tom discuss why you shouldn't rely on others for confidence. [3:31]

Communication | Lisa and Tom discuss the importance of communicating your needs. [5:19]

Externalize | Tom and Lisa discuss why externalizing thoughts is a trained skill. [6:05]

Love Language | Lisa and Tom discuss the importance of knowing your partner's needs. [8:42]

QUOTES:

"You don't have to choose. There is a world where you can date somebody who feels like your best friend and they make you feel sexy and attractive…" [2:40]

"Cause I can't just rely on you, right? If I just always got my self-esteem based on whether you were giving me compliments for not, I think that's a disaster. I have to work on that by myself." [4:21]

FOLLOW TOM:

Instagram: http://bit.ly/2s9lU90

YouTube: http://bit.ly/2KWanAC

Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2xEloFL

FOLLOW LISA:

Instagram: https://bit.ly/2TIsoKh

YouTube: https://bit.ly/2IAbTcH

Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2IEajGW0

Is life burning you out to the point where you can hardly make time for your partner? Between work, children, hobbies, goals, side hustles, and friends, it can be difficult to squeeze in any more time for that one person in our lives that matters most. How do we balance our time so that we don't neglect our partner without giving up on our goals, dreams, and ambitions? On this episode of Relationship Theory, Lisa and Tom Bilyeu sit down to discuss such matters and more as they explore how to keep your relationship working when you or your partner's schedule is simply overwhelming. They discuss why you need to schedule out your 'coupe time,' how they have balanced their time while building their businesses, the power of establishing a schedule and rules of engagement, and why honesty is always the best approach when talking it out.

SHOW NOTES:

Couple Time | Lisa and Tom discuss how they schedule out time for each other. [0:42]

Differences | Lisa and Tom share how each couple feels differently about couple time. [3:05]

Talk It Out | Tom and Lisa discuss how to set a schedule and establish rules. [5:59]

Honesty | Lisa and Tom share how they communicate when needing time with each other. [6:50]

Commitment | Lisa and Tom discuss their commitment to what they're building together. [9:12]

QUOTES:

"…making sure that she feels heard, cause that's very important." [4:45]

"Set aside time, make it be sacred, even if it's once a week." [6:00]

FOLLOW TOM:

Instagram: http://bit.ly/2s9lU90

YouTube: http://bit.ly/2KWanAC

Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2xEloFL

FOLLOW LISA:

Instagram: https://bit.ly/2TIsoKh

YouTube: https://bit.ly/2IAbTcH

Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2IEajGW0

When it comes to dating in the workplace, doing it properly can be a very touchy and delicate task. On one hand, you might be feeling a general connection with someone and want to see it further, and yet on the other hand, you may be crossing lines and risk making others feel uncomfortable. On this episode of Relationship Theory, Lisa and Tom Bilyeu sit down to discuss such matters and more as they explore the key things you need to be mindful of when dating in the workplace. They discuss the pitfalls of a workplace relationship, how to make it work if you're going to pursue one, the challenges Tom and Lisa have faced in their careers, how to behave at work with your partner, and today's changing work culture.

SHOW NOTES:

Love at Work | Lisa and Tom discuss the pitfalls of workplace relationships. [0:25]

How To | Lisa and Tom discuss how to make a workplace relationship work. [3:03]

Challenges | Tom and Lisa share what the hardest part is when working with your partner. [3:40]

Dynamic | Lisa and Tom share how they approached working together in the past. [4:59]

Behavior | Lisa and Tom discuss how to properly behave with each other while at work. [7:45]

Culture | Lisa and Tom discuss the changing culture in today's work environment. [9:15]

QUOTES:

"It's a high degree of communication. It's all about making sure that you guys are very clear on what you want, what the rules of engagement are at work, that you discuss the dynamic. Like how you guys work together? Do you overlap? Is there projects that you're working on together?" [3:26]

"If you have poor communication, then it's going to be exacerbated by the fact that you work together. Cause now there's these competing stressors." [4:07]

FOLLOW TOM:

Instagram: http://bit.ly/2s9lU90

YouTube: http://bit.ly/2KWanAC

Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2xEloFL

FOLLOW LISA:

Instagram: https://bit.ly/2TIsoKh

YouTube: https://bit.ly/2IAbTcH

Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2IEajGW0