Relationship Theory

Entrepreneurship, business, and your relationship. What should we be prioritizing most, why does it feel that they are always in conflict with one another, and how can we maintain a healthy relationship while still pursuing our goals? On this episode of Relationship Theory, Tom and Lisa Bilyeu sit down to discuss such matters and more as they explore how to maintain a healthy relationship while still putting in the time and effort to pursue your big goals. They discuss the balance needed in every relationship, how to make time for your partner, the importance of prioritizing in a relationship, and how to manage your relationship when it conflicts with business.

SHOW NOTES:

Balance | Lisa and Tom discuss how to balance your relationship with your drive. [0:25]

Time | Tom and Lisa discuss how to make time for your partner and the relationship. [2:11]

Prioritize | Tom and Lisa share how they made time for one another during busy times. [4:20]

Conflict | Lisa and Tom discuss how they balance their relationship with business. [5:29]

Children | Lisa and Tom share how they came to the conclusion to not have children. [6:16]

QUOTES:

"But it is almost certainly going to take so much longer than any human being can endure having a lame relationship, just based on the amount of time that you invest in it." [1:57]

"The only thing that is interesting in a relationship is if somebody makes you feel, they don't intellectually tell you, they make you feel like the most important thing." [2:41]

"And just like I don't think most people can be number two to another person, they can't be number two to a business." [4:00]

FOLLOW TOM:

Instagram: http://bit.ly/2s9lU90

YouTube: http://bit.ly/2KWanAC

Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2xEloFL

FOLLOW LISA:

Instagram: https://bit.ly/2TIsoKh

YouTube: https://bit.ly/2IAbTcH

Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2IEajGW0

Has your partner betrayed your trust time and time again to the point where it is becoming an exhausting pattern of behavior? Do you struggle being able to walk away from the relationship due to the time and level of commitment you both have put in? Whether it’s time to end the relationship altogether or to take big steps towards fixing the underlying problems, something has to change for the pattern to be broken. On this episode of Relationship Theory, Tom and Lisa Bilyeu sit down to discuss such matters and more as they explore what to do when your partner has a pattern of betraying your trust and when to know it's time to fight for them versus when it’s time to walk away. They discuss what to look for when establishing trust, the commitments you need to see to begin trusting again, why you need to know your self worth, the importance of knowing why they have a pattern of betraying you, and actions you can take as a couple to work through the pain and begin moving towards positive results and a process of healing.

SHOW NOTES:

Recognizing Patterns | Lisa and Tom share when to know it’s time to walk away. [0:34]

Committed | Lisa and Tom discuss the commitments needed to work past being betrayed. [3:15]

Know Your Worth | Lisa and Tom share the importance of knowing what you deserve. [5:01]

Why | Tom and Lisa discuss the importance of knowing why they betrayed your trust. [5:53]

Action | Lisa and Tom share how to work through patterns of betrayal and begin healing. [7:02]

Results | Tom and Lisa share the importance of putting in the work and seeing change. [9:29]

QUOTES:

“Don’t trust what somebody says, don’t even trust what they do, but always, always trust a pattern.” [1:51]

“There is something driving this and actually figuring out what’s driving it and processing through is the only thing that would be of interest to me.” [6:54]

“…no, you have a pattern of behavior and until you address the underlying cause, this pattern of behavior is going to continue regardless of what your deep desire to fix it is.” [8:52]

FOLLOW TOM:

Instagram: http://bit.ly/2s9lU90

YouTube: http://bit.ly/2KWanAC

Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2xEloFL

FOLLOW LISA:

Instagram: https://bit.ly/2TIsoKh

YouTube: https://bit.ly/2IAbTcH

Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2IEajGW0

How do you know if you’re ready for your next relationship? Perhaps your past has left you in fear and apprehensive about falling in love again? On this episode of Relationship Theory, Tom and Lisa Bilyeu sit down to discuss such questions and more as they explore the process of entering a new relationship, falling in love again, and how to learn from your past relationships to strengthen your next one. They discuss how love should drive your decision, how to address concerns going into your next relationship, how to heal from heartbreak, and how to own up to your past mistakes so that your next relationship isn’t riddled with them.

SHOW NOTES:

Waiting for Them | Lisa and Tom address chasing a love interest that’s dragging their feet. [0:24]

Feelings | Tom and Lisa discuss how love, not apprehension, should drive a relationship. [2:53]

Concerns | Lisa shares overcoming feelings of concern she had early in their relationship. [5:08]

Forward | Lisa and Tom share how to move on from the pain of past-toxic relationships. [6:23]

Heartbreak | Lisa and Tom discuss recovering from the trauma of heartbreak. [11:58]

Fear | Lisa and Tom discuss their fears surrounding their relationship and life in general. [17:08]

All In | Lisa and Tom discuss their journey of going ‘all in’ with their relationship. [18:54]

Own It | Tom and Lisa reveal why you need to take full ownership of your mistakes. [20:14]

QUOTES:

“When you feel about somebody in such a strong way that you think no one has ever felt about someone the way that I feel about this person, that’s when you know it’s love.” [3:36]

“…you can either let things be scars or you can just really heal them and let go.” [7:53]

“The beauty of love is to know, “I can always be hurt.”” [14:05]  

FOLLOW TOM:

Instagram: http://bit.ly/2s9lU90

YouTube: http://bit.ly/2KWanAC

Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2xEloFL

FOLLOW LISA:

Instagram: https://bit.ly/2TIsoKh

YouTube: https://bit.ly/2IAbTcH

Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2IEajGW0

Moving in together can be one of the biggest steps you take in your relationship. When do you know it’s time to make the move, why might you or your partner have hesitations, and what should you do if your partner keeps making excuses to not do it? On this episode of Relationship Theory, Tom and Lisa Bilyeu sit down to discuss these matters and more as they explore what you should do if moving in with your loved one is proving to be more difficult to make happen than first anticipated. They discuss what to do when they’re not ready for the move, why you should be logical and honest, why you should know whether it’s worth it or not to even be in the relationship, how to approach the move like a written contract, and why you need to be absolutely clear on what your needs are with your partner.

SHOW NOTES:

Moving In | Lisa and Tom discuss what to do if your partner isn’t ready to move in. [0:16]

Logical | Tom and Lisa share their story of moving in together. [2:32]

Honesty | Lisa and Tom discuss why you have to articulate the ‘why’ behind your decision. [3:33]

Worth It | Tom shares the time when he weighed the sacrifices of being with Lisa. [6:04]

Contract | Lisa and Tom discuss how living together should be treated like a contract. [8:17]

PTSD | Lisa and Tom discuss why you need to be open about your past living situations. [10:53]

No Bullsh*t | Tom and Lisa discuss why you should be clear on what your pain point is [11:57]

QUOTES:

“…no, he’s just not that into you.” [1:07]

“It isn’t that he didn’t want to get married, it’s that he didn’t want to get married to me.” [4:35]

“What would have to be true for you to be willing to move in with me?” [12:02]

FOLLOW TOM:

Instagram: http://bit.ly/2s9lU90

YouTube: http://bit.ly/2KWanAC

Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2xEloFL

FOLLOW LISA:

Instagram: https://bit.ly/2TIsoKh

YouTube: https://bit.ly/2IAbTcH

Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2IEajGW0

Having children or not is, without a doubt, one of the biggest decisions you and your partner will ever make. How do you deal with the unsettled feeling that perhaps having kids isn’t right for you? How do you tell your family that they won’t be getting those long-expected grandchildren? On this episode of Relationship Theory, Tom and Lisa Bilyeu sit down to answer these questions and discuss why you need to be brutally honest about your intentions, the effect kids will have on your happiness, and how to deal with peer pressure from friends and family. They speak about the expectations and assumptions all of us carry in life, the brutal honesty about your happiness, the attention demanded by children, and how to establish boundaries with overbearing family members.

SHOW NOTES:

Decisions | Lisa and Tom discuss how to handle the decision of not having kids. [0:48]

Expectations | Tom and Lisa discuss the pressure and cultural norm to have children. [2:11]

Happiness | Tom and Lisa discuss how having kids takes a toll on your overall happiness. [3:30]

Honesty | Lisa and Tom discuss how they came to the conclusion of not having kids. [5:04]

Jealousy | Lisa shares a conversation she had with a friend about approaching jealousy. [7:55]

Impact | Lisa and Tom discuss the legacy they are building in lieu of children. [10:55]

Boundaries | Tom and Lisa discuss when they told their families of their decision. [12:39]

QUOTES:

“And what’s the one thing that I really push back on? Things that demand my time." [4:53]

“I want to be your number one and the second you have a baby, nature’s going to make sure that my attention is on the baby and not on you.” [6:13]

“Generation one builds the wealth, generation two enjoys the wealth, and generation three loses the wealth.” [12:05]

FOLLOW TOM:

Instagram: http://bit.ly/2s9lU90

YouTube: http://bit.ly/2KWanAC

Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2xEloFL

FOLLOW LISA:

Instagram: https://bit.ly/2TIsoKh

YouTube: https://bit.ly/2IAbTcH

Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2IEajGW0

Be upfront about your cheating past. It may feel counterintuitive to open up about your history of cheating with your new partner to win over their trust, but it may actually be the absolute best thing you should do. On this episode of Relationship Theory, Tom and Lisa Bilyeu sit down to discuss the best way to address your cheating history with your partner, when the best time to do it is, and how it will actually lead to a stronger, better relationship. They talk about how honesty is crucial, why you should set rules for your life, how being honest is actually a benefit to you, and why you shouldn’t be afraid to be brutally honest upfront.

SHOW NOTES:

Be Honest | Lisa and Tom discuss how to address your past cheating to your partner. [0:26]

Rules | Tom and Lisa share why it’s so important to set rules for your own life. [3:30]

Your Own Sake | Tom and Lisa discuss why being honest is actually for your benefit. [4:25]

Be Upfront | Lisa and Tom discuss why you should be honest early. [5:17]

QUOTES:

“I will never ever cheat on you. I can’t say I’ll never break up with you.” [3:38]

“The reason to be honest with somebody isn’t for them nearly as much as it’s for you.” [4:25]

“It’s about the lie, not even about the actual incident.” [6:28]

FOLLOW TOM:

Instagram: http://bit.ly/2s9lU90

YouTube: http://bit.ly/2KWanAC

Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2xEloFL

FOLLOW LISA:

Instagram: https://bit.ly/2TIsoKh

YouTube: https://bit.ly/2IAbTcH

Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2IEajGW0

Long distance dating can be difficult as there is certainly no substitute for close proximity. There’s no denying that. However, there are simple, yet powerful, practices that a couple can be mindful of that will ensure the relationship will go the distance while long distance dating. On this episode of Relationship Theory, Tom and Lisa Bilyeu sit down to discuss the good, the bad, and the ugly of long distance dating and what you can do to ensure you go the distance and still grow closer while living far apart. They speak about best practices for making the relationship work, what the endgame is, the importance of planning, how to maintain your connection and bond, the importance of maintaining sexual intimacy, and what it means to be giving the gift you know they want to receive.

SHOW NOTES:

Best Practices | Lisa and Tom discuss what is key for making long distance relationships work. [0:25]
The Endgame | Lisa and Tom discuss what long distance relationships should be moving towards. [3:19]
Power of Planning | Lisa and Tom discuss the importance of a plan that seeks to maintain your connection and bond. [4:50] Intimacy | Tom and Lisa discuss sexual intimacy and sexting during a long distance relationship. [7:23]
Clear Communication | Lisa and Tom discuss communicating your desires and dislikes in a relationship. [14:11]
Giving | Lisa and Tom discuss the importance of giving the gift you know they want. [15:20]

QUOTES:

“At the end of the day, there’s no substitute for proximity.” [2:05] “You need to communicate and find out if it is a gift that is desired.” [7:47]
“Encourage the behavior you want, and discourage the behavior you don’t want.” [14:11]

FOLLOW TOM:
Instagram: http://bit.ly/2s9lU90
YouTube: http://bit.ly/2KWanAC
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2xEloFL

FOLLOW LISA:
Instagram: https://bit.ly/2TIsoKh
YouTube: https://bit.ly/2IAbTcH
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2IEajGW0 

Jealousy. How does it enter our minds, what feeds it, and is it perhaps just a reflection of our own insecurities? On this episode of Relationship Theory, Tom and Lisa Bilyeu sit down to discuss the harsh reality of confronting your own jealousy in a relationship and why it may actually be a matter of your own insecurities and not their behavior. They discuss the time when Tom and Lisa went together to Tom’s ex-girlfriend’s birthday parties, how they dealt with it, where jealousy originates from, what feeds it, how it is an ugly look, and what to be aware of before jealousy spirals out of control.

SHOW NOTES:

Honesty | Lisa shares her experience when Tom took her to his ex-girlfriend’s birthday party. [0:21]

Establishing Feelings | Tom shares his side of taking Lisa to his ex-girlfriend’s birthday party. [3:11]

Jealousy | Tom and Lisa discuss how buried insecurities feed jealousy. [4:36]

Choose Confidence | Lisa shares why insecurities are a turn off. [8:38]

Harsh Reality | Tom and Lisa discusses why it’s not sexy to wallow in your insecurities. [11:23]

QUOTES:

“You never made me feel like it was a comparison, and you never tried to hide how you felt about them when you were talking about them.” [2:35]

“There are two things you should never worry about: things you can change, because go change em’, and things you can’t change, because you can’t change em’.” [7:37]

“No one looks at someone else’s insecurities and goes, “Yeah, that’s a turn on. That’s attractive.”” [8:38]

FOLLOW TOM:

Instagram: http://bit.ly/2s9lU90

YouTube: http://bit.ly/2KWanAC

Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2xEloFL

FOLLOW LISA:

Instagram: https://bit.ly/2TIsoKh

YouTube: https://bit.ly/2IAbTcH

Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2IEajGW0