Sign up to save your podcasts
Or
Share Relationship Theory
Share to email
Share to Facebook
Share to X
Share to email
Share to Facebook
Share to X
Or
Relationship Theory
Relationship Theory episodes
- 3 Shocking Love Tips For the Perfect Relationship | Relationship Theory
Are you and your partner looking for powerful tips to help your relationship last? Are you wondering what the key lessons are when it comes to making your love thrive for years to come? On this episode of Relationship Theory, Lisa and Tom Bilyeu sit down to discuss such matters and more as they share their key tips to help make ensure your relationship can stand the test of time. They discuss why you sometimes need to put yourself first and be selfish, why you need to go deeper and understand the root cause of your arguments, and why having little to no expectations is best long-term.
SHOW NOTES:
Be Selfish | Tom and Lisa discuss the hidden benefit of being selfish in your relationship. [0:34]
Go Deeper | Tom and Lisa discuss the importance of addressing underlying issues. [6:24]
No Expectations | Tom and Lisa discuss how to set realistic and healthy expectations. [16:00]
QUOTES:
"While it's not romantic, I actually do think it is a hundred-percent important to be selfish in the sense of taking care of yourself, what makes you happy, so that you can show up to be happy in that relationship." [3:22]
"You can either feel like you're saying different things but you're actually saying the same thing or you can actually be saying different things and think you're saying the same thing and it causes like a total derailment." [5:53]
"People are mistaking an emotion for objective truth…" [11:55]
FOLLOW TOM:
Instagram: http://bit.ly/2s9lU90
YouTube: http://bit.ly/2KWanAC
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2xEloFL
FOLLOW LISA:
Instagram: https://bit.ly/2TIsoKh
YouTube: https://bit.ly/2IAbTcH
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2IEajGW0
21 min - The First Step to Repairing Trust in Any Relationship | Relationship Theory
Do you struggle with trust issues? Did your last relationship scar you from ever trusting or putting yourself out there again? On this episode of Relationship Theory, Lisa and Tom Bilyeu sit down to discuss such matters and more as they explore how to overcome your lingering trust issues so that you can start to put yourself out there again and find love. They discuss what may be causing your trust issues, why finding love requires being vulnerable, why the little things in a relationship build trust, and how to set rules in your relationship to maintain trust for years to come.
SHOW NOTES:
Trust | Tom and Lisa discuss how to overcome your own trust issues. [0:28]
Love | Lisa and Tom recall a time in their relationship when they first said, "I love you." [5:26]
Be Willing | Tom and Lisa discuss why you have to be willing to get hurt again. [6:37]
Divorce | Tom and Lisa discuss why even saying the 'D word' is difficult for them. [8:08]
Little Things | Lisa and Tom discuss how the little things that build trust. [12:25]
Rules | Tom and Lisa discuss how to know what rules to set in a relationship. [13:50]
QUOTES:
"If somebody comes into the relationship and they're badmouthing their ex and they're talking all kinds of shit, then just assume that's exactly how they will be about you when you break up. So remember, you don't divorce the same person that you marry." [4:51]
"If you know that love is brain chemistry, then you have to learn to take control of your brain chemistry and learn to recapture and recreate moments that make you feel that, cause it won't happen accidentally. It's like happiness. Happiness and love are very similar in that sense — that if you don't work at it, it's not going to happen." [9:42]
FOLLOW TOM:
Instagram: http://bit.ly/2s9lU90
YouTube: http://bit.ly/2KWanAC
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2xEloFL
FOLLOW LISA:
Instagram: https://bit.ly/2TIsoKh
YouTube: https://bit.ly/2IAbTcH
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2IEajGW0
15 min - What to Do When Your Partner Sets Unrealistic Expectations | Relationship Theory
Are you and your partner on the same page when it comes to the expectations in your relationship? Do you or your partner feel certain needs aren't being met and there are feelings of inadequacy creeping in? On this episode of Relationship Theory, Lisa and Tom Bilyeu sit down to discuss such matters and more as they explore how to smooth out expectations in your relationship so that everyone's needs are met while soothing any feelings of inadequacy. They discuss how to address expectations, what the goal of every relationship should be, and how to be reasonable when setting and discussing expectations.
SHOW NOTES:
Expectations | Tom and Lisa discuss how to address your feelings of inadequacy. [0:44]
Be Reasonable | Tom and Lisa discuss how to know if expectations are reasonable or not. [3:52]
QUOTES:
"One of the most fundamental driving forces of a relationship is to make sure that you're making that person feel better about themselves when they're with you than when they're not — but never doing that by bullshitting them. So you're always being completely real and completely honest." [4:25]
FOLLOW TOM:
Instagram: http://bit.ly/2s9lU90
YouTube: http://bit.ly/2KWanAC
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2xEloFL
FOLLOW LISA:
Instagram: https://bit.ly/2TIsoKh
YouTube: https://bit.ly/2IAbTcH
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2IEajGW0
8 min - Do This For a Stronger Relationship | Relationship Theory
Are you or your partner extremely competitive? Does it sometimes get out of hand? Are you looking for ways to support each other while still having a healthy dose of that intensity? On this episode of Relationship Theory, Lisa and Tom Bilyeu sit down to discuss such matters and more as they explore how you and your partner can be competitive with one another in a healthy way that pushes each other while still showing support, care, and love. They discuss the tactics they use to strengthen their relationship, how to properly be competitive in your relationship, how to handle intensity when competing, why you should push each other, and how to be each other's biggest fan.
SHOW NOTES:
Tactics | Tom and Lisa discuss the best tactics they use to strengthen their relationship. [0:30]
Competitive | Tom and Lisa discuss being competitive with each other in their relationship. [2:16]
Intensity | Lisa and Tom reveal how they handle intensity when being competitive. [5:22]
Working Together | Lisa and Tom discuss how they want to push each other. [7:10]
Winning | Lisa and Tom discuss encouraging each other on a path towards winning. [9:08]
Be Their Fan | Lisa and Tom discuss why you should cheer on your partner. [10:40]
QUOTES:
"You can't imagine how gross I would find it if you thought you had to lose to me. That's so emotionally weak when somebody can't, like, tolerate that." [8:34]
"Just putting them first and saying, "I believe in you so much and I really want to see you succeed," gives a support that I don't know how to replicate other than that, like be your partner's biggest cheerleader. So powerful." [10:19]
FOLLOW TOM:
Instagram: http://bit.ly/2s9lU90
YouTube: http://bit.ly/2KWanAC
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2xEloFL
FOLLOW LISA:
Instagram: https://bit.ly/2TIsoKh
YouTube: https://bit.ly/2IAbTcH
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2IEajGW0
14 min - Do This and Your Long Distance Relationship Will Thrive | Relationship Theory
Are you in the middle or about to start a period of doing long distance with your partner? Are you worried communication will break down and the relationship is at risk of ending during this time? On this episode of Relationship Theory, Lisa and Tom Bilyeu sit down to discuss such matters and more as they reveal exactly what you must do to ensure your long distance relationship not only survives, but thrives. They discuss the unique challenges you'll face while doing long-distance, why communication is key, how to make your time together special, and how to give the gift they want.
SHOW NOTES:
Distance | Lisa and Tom discuss the unique challenges of long-distance relationships. [1:12]
Communicate | Lisa and Tom discuss how communicating your needs is key. [5:20]
Special | Tom and Lisa talk about making the time you have together be special. [7:28]
Giving | Tom and Lisa discuss why you should give the gift they want. [12:18]
QUOTES:
"When we were living apart at times for a month or two months, I just had to really, like — I would always think about you and write to you and write, just like, a lot, a lot, a lot to feel like I was talking to you, and to feel that connection, and to keep fanning those flames and that really worked…" [4:36]
"…give the gift that person wants, not the gift you would want." [12:29]
FOLLOW TOM:
Instagram: http://bit.ly/2s9lU90
YouTube: http://bit.ly/2KWanAC
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2xEloFL
FOLLOW LISA:
Instagram: https://bit.ly/2TIsoKh
YouTube: https://bit.ly/2IAbTcH
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2IEajGW0
15 min - Tips to Get Your Partner Motivated in Life | Relationship Theory
Does your partner have ambitious goals but lacks the motivation to act on making them happen? Does it pain you to see your partner holding themselves back from the life they dream about having? On this episode of Relationship Theory, Lisa and Tom Bilyeu sit down to discuss such matters and more as they explore how you can push your partner into a motivated state so they start accomplishing their goals and creating the life they want for themselves. They discuss how to motivate your partner, why rewarding your partner is powerful, why you should be able to have open communication, and why the problem might be that you have different work ethics.
SHOW NOTES:
Action | Lisa and Tom discuss motivating your partner to take action towards their goals. [0:05]
Reward | Lisa and Tom discuss how you should reward your partner to motivate them. [6:07]
Talk Through It | Lisa and Tom discuss why you should speak with an open heart. [8:43]
Partnership | Lisa and Tom discuss how they each approach work differently. [11:49]
QUOTES:
"…always, always, always, whenever you can do it through reward, do it through reward. Because they feel like that wonderful-warm sensation about the person that's rewarding them." [1:55]
"…and then sometimes you just have to trigger people's emotions — because they don't hear it until that point. But I'm telling you, if you lead with that, it will damage the relationship." [3:28]
FOLLOW TOM:
Instagram: http://bit.ly/2s9lU90
YouTube: http://bit.ly/2KWanAC
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2xEloFL
FOLLOW LISA:
Instagram: https://bit.ly/2TIsoKh
YouTube: https://bit.ly/2IAbTcH
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2IEajGW0
15 min - Before You Break Up, Try Setting These Boundaries | Relationship Theory
Are you on the verge of a breakup? Have you been disrespected one too many times and don't know what else to do but draw a line in the sand and set an ultimatum? On this episode of Relationship Theory, Lisa and Tom Bilyeu sit down to discuss such matters and more as they explore when and how to set boundaries and what's actually driving your desire to create and set an ultimatum. They discuss the differences between setting boundaries and ultimatums, why disrespect and a clash of values might be the cause of your relationship troubles, how to adapt to change in your relationship, and how to handle growth with your partner in terms of boundaries and limitations.
SHOW NOTES:
Lines | Lisa and Tom discuss setting boundaries and ultimatums in your relationship. [0:32]
Values | Tom and Lisa discuss how to compromise over your clash of values. [3:05]
Change | Lisa and Tom discuss why your boundaries adapt and change. [5:50]
Growing | Lisa and Tom discuss why growth will always be a factor in your relationship. [7:25]
QUOTES:
"You've got the boundary and then you've got the consequence for the boundary. They are very different." [1:13]
"If somebody has such disrespect for where your boundaries are, the problem is the disrespect. It's not about ultimatums." [1:23]
"What I find is people often don't understand their emotion, but they trust their emotion." [4:41]
FOLLOW TOM:
Instagram: http://bit.ly/2s9lU90
YouTube: http://bit.ly/2KWanAC
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2xEloFL
FOLLOW LISA:
Instagram: https://bit.ly/2TIsoKh
YouTube: https://bit.ly/2IAbTcH
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2IEajGW0
10 min - The Right Way to Settle a Fight in a Relationship | | Relationship Theory
Do you and your partner or spouse struggle with a clash of values? Do you find yourself in frequent disagreements, arguments, or fights and are looking to tackle the root cause of them for good? On this episode of Relationship Theory, Lisa and Tom Bilyeu sit down to discuss such matters and more as they explore how you and your partner can overcome your disagreements and actually get to the bottom of what's causing them. They discuss what to do when your values are different from your partners, how to properly handle disagreements, when and how to persuade your partner, and how to be open to your partner's perspective.
SHOW NOTES:
Collision | Lisa and Tom discuss what to do when your values of your partner are different. [0:20]
Values | Lisa and Tom discuss why you need to break down your most important values. [2:15]
Compromise | Lisa and Tom discuss how to properly handle disagreements. [4:51]
Convincing | Lisa and Tom discuss when it is and isn't time to convince your partner. [7:03]
Be Open | Tom and Lisa discuss why you have be open to your partner's side. [9:40]
QUOTES:
"When there's a collision of values, you have to get into a situation where each of you are assessing the importance to which that value means something to you and where the compromise lies." [5:09]
"…and that's a big thing, it's like, not thinking about it of winning an argument, or being right, or getting what I want…" [8:45]
FOLLOW TOM:
Instagram: http://bit.ly/2s9lU90
YouTube: http://bit.ly/2KWanAC
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2xEloFL
FOLLOW LISA:
Instagram: https://bit.ly/2TIsoKh
YouTube: https://bit.ly/2IAbTcH
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2IEajGW0
12 min - How to Talk About Sensitive Subjects With Your Partner or Spouse | Relationship Theory
Do you struggle to have conversations with your partner or spouse when it comes to certain touchy subjects? Are words being left unsaid because you're worried how the conversation might go if you bring it up? On this episode of Relationship Theory, Lisa and Tom Bilyeu sit down to discuss such matters and more as they explore why you should never shy away from having a difficult conversation with the one you love the most. They discuss why you shouldn't avoid touchy subjects, why you shouldn't get overly emotional during conversations, why no subject should be avoided, and how taking things light-heartedly is key.
SHOW NOTES:
Touchy | Lisa and Tom discuss why they never skirt away from touchy subjects. [0:11]
Emotions | Lisa and Tom discuss why they never bring in elevated emotions. [1:35]
No Off-Limits | Lisa and Tom discuss why they always talk about everything. [2:19]
Off-Camera | Lisa and Tom reveal why you should take things light-heartedly. [5:26]
QUOTES:
"I think I would feel like I was hiding it from you if there was a subject I couldn't talk to you about." [2:29]
"If you want to receive that, you've got to give it. So, if you don't want to be judged on all the ridiculous things that you think and are too ashamed to say it out loud, like don't judge other people for it." [4:00]
FOLLOW TOM:
Instagram: http://bit.ly/2s9lU90
YouTube: http://bit.ly/2KWanAC
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2xEloFL
FOLLOW LISA:
Instagram: https://bit.ly/2TIsoKh
YouTube: https://bit.ly/2IAbTcH
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2IEajGW0
7 min - Why Your Constant Need for Validation Will End Your Relationship | Relationship Theory
Are you struggling with an inner negative voice that tells you, "You're not good enough," and makes you feel insecure around your partner? It's time, here and now, for you to shake off and silence that destructive way of thinking and step into a mindset of growth and positivity so that your relationship thrives in the long-term. On this episode of Relationship Theory, Lisa and Tom Bilyeu sit down to discuss such matters and more as they explore how you can get out of your own head, shake off and silence your inner negative voice, and adopt a growth mindset within your relationship. They discuss why its critical you break any patterns of negative thinking, the importance of being real and openly honest with your partner, how to allow your partner to challenge you in healthy ways, the power of adopting a student mentality, and why loving the process is a non-negotiable when pursuing your passions.
SHOW NOTES:
Breaking Patterns | Lisa and Tom discuss how to silence your inner negative voice. [0:34]
Being Real | Lisa and Tom discuss why you need to encourage honesty. [3:42]
Make Each Other Better | Lisa shares her story of overcoming feelings of inferiority. [4:53]
Student Mentality | Tom and Lisa discuss how you can learn from your partner. [8:19]
Love the Process | Tom and Lisa shares why you need to absolutely love the process. [9:24]
QUOTES:
"There's nothing, nothing, worse in the long run than someone who is emotionally needy all the time. We all just have to step up, we all have to learn to love ourselves and be proud of ourselves. We cannot turn for external validation for that. It's not a good look…" [2:40]
"If you don't love the process in and of itself, don't do it, don't go down the road…" [11:31]
FOLLOW TOM:
Instagram: http://bit.ly/2s9lU90
YouTube: http://bit.ly/2KWanAC
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2xEloFL
FOLLOW LISA:
Instagram: https://bit.ly/2TIsoKh
YouTube: https://bit.ly/2IAbTcH
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2IEajGW0
14 min
About Relationship Theory
From the publisher's feed
Join power couple Tom and Lisa Bilyeu as they answer your relationship questions and share how they've created a successful marriage for nearly 20 years. No holds barred. No B.S.